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HBD
Hiraeth
My mother told me when I was a child; "If you feel unwary and sad, just go home and rest."
But I never went home sad.
I used to washed off the sadness, lying down in plains while watching flying kites
And went home at night with a blank slate.
My mother told me when I was a child; "If you feel unwary and sad, just go home and rest."
And I always thought that home is a safe haven.
That the surface around those walls is a heaven place on earth.
Even though there's a break in some bricks I tend to focus on what matters.
But years after, not every home is compose of ceiling and walls.
That not every doors can be open,
And not every windows can be clear.
That a home can go somewhere else and go back when they wants to.
But sometimes they don't even back.
Every so often they will clasp you through their arms like a blanket.
And leave you over and over.
And I used to.
I used that home is not always there
But it will not make you feel lonely.
But you will ask yourself; "what might happen if we choose different path?"
And we will see each other in every timelapse.
One year from now and I see you packing your luggages
You choose to be simple with those smile going somewhere far,
And we see goals not just a dream but something we can have,
But you never look back.
Thirty years from now and we see each other at the park
I'm playing Sky Sailing's song with my ukulele
And you walking around with your dog together with your grandchild.
Look as beautiful as before, like a sunrise in a morning.
Two years from now and I see you far away from my land,
I traced every step you take through prairie full of daffodils
And for the very first time the home becomes unknown.
Twenty years from now and we see each other at the grocery store
I'm debating with my wife in which carton of milk we should get
But we knew that it have same taste over and over.
And I see you with your daughter deciding in which cookies you should get,
You both very look alike and I wonder what you might named her.
Three years from now and the home will never be that home.
That raking through those ashes will not bring it back
But I still remember it smell, like a violet scented candle that surrounding it space.
I still remember the humming birds outside that becomes a lullaby
It all haunts me and I want it back, so bad.
Ten years from now and the world is shaking but still beautiful as you.
I'm sitting at the back of the church and I realize that the waiting is over,
That the hope is clear and it's already in our hands
And I see you in a white dress walking in the aisle towards your love one.
Just as precious as I told you before that it will happen and I'm happy with it even its not with me.
Five years from now and the new home is not always like I used to.
Even though my mother though me that; "if you feel unwary and sad, just go home and rest."
Still, it feels heavy by the sadness that it brings.
The memories of familiar home becomes ruin in a battlefield
Even the fight is over, I still want to go back.
Though, there's no place like home.
Everytime my birthday comes, I always try to put my pillow over my head and constrict it with force.
“Sadly, it always end up with sunken eyes and still breathing.”
Maybe the reason why I can’t see ghosts and other creatures is because God knows I will go with them.
Hintayan Sa Langit
Buhol-buhol ang mga sasakyan sa EDSA.
Ang haba na rin ng pila sa MRT sa Guada.
Pero andito ako binabaybay ang dami ng tao na parang sardinas na nasa lata.
Dahil isa lang ang aking sinisinta, na sana muli kitang makita.
Ikaw yung pinaka matagal na taong nakilala ko.
Pero ikaw rin yung taong matagal kong gustong makasama ng husto.
Pasensya na, kasi hindi ko magawang maglibang sa mga pinaka madedelikadong lugar, sa matatao, sa mga di sigurado habang naghihintay sayo.
Kasi bakit ko hahayaang mawala ang pagkakataon kung ang bawat segundo ay tila isang pelikula na uulit-ulitin ko.
Ganun pa man, masakit lang isipin na kahit gaano ko hintayin ang mundo ay kabaligtarang kaya ako nitong madaliin.
Hindi ako nito mahihintay.
Ni hindi ako nito mabibigyan ng konting palugid dahil ang tadhana ko ay maghintay at hindi para hintayin.
Hindi ko pwedeng madaliin ang mundo pero kailangan ng uniberso na ako ay magmadali.
Mabilis ang lakad ng oras habang bumabagal ang tibok ng puso.
Lumalapit na rin ang dilim pero lumalayo na ang paghinga ko.
Isa lang ang gusto ko sa mga oras na ito, sana makaabot pa ‘ko.
Ayoko Kapag Lunes
Ang bigat sa pakiramdam na tuwing darating ang Linggo,
Asahan mo bukas Lunes na naman.
Ayoko kapag lunes.
Hindi ko lubos maisip na sa tuwing darating ang araw na ito, pagod na ko.
Hindi rin kayang kontrahin ng kape ang kagustuhan kong manatili sa kama.
Kaya ayan nagmamadaling paalis papunta sa opisina
Ramdam ang bigat nang bawat tapak ng paa
Mainit ang ulo sa mga sasakyang pinapara
Akalain mo wala pa kong barya sa umaga.
Ayoko kapag lunes
Hindi ito espesyal
Walang mahika na bigla na lang magpapaulan ng malas at magpaparmdam ng lumbay
Hindi rin ito lingguhang pagsapit ng karma na hihigop ng saya sa maghapon
Pero sa tuwing malapit nang matapos ang araw na ito, laging ninanais ang mga yapos at yakap mo,
Na tila nagsasabing "tara, uwi na tayo."
Kung alam mo lang ang sayang dulot sakin nang pagbigkis ng mga palad nating dalawa
Na kahit mangalay man o maparalisa ay hinding-hindi ka bibitawan
At kahit alam kong pango ang ilong ko laging hahanap-hanapin ang amoy at alaala mo
Na kahit mamawis sa pagod maghapon, naaamoy ko ang tahanang palagi kong babalik-balikan
Alam kong alam mo rin na nalilipasan ako ng gutom dahil sa dami ng trabaho
Pero sa tuwing makikita ka o sa tuwing makakausap ka
Lagi mong pinupuno ng mga paru-paro ang tiyan ko at lagi ako nitong nililipad sa isip mo.
Ang bawat sandali kasama ka ay ayaw kong lumipas
Ikaw ang panaginip na ayokong lubayan
Ang bawat pagtulog na ayoko nang imulat
Ang ginhawa na tulad nang walang along dagat
Ikaw ang pag-ibig na gusto kong yakap sa magdamag
Sa wakas nandito na tayo, di na mangangamba sa mga makulimlim na bukas basta kasama.
Wala nang takot sa masasakit na kahapon dahil palagay ako sa tapang na binibigay mo.
At palaging masasabik sa mga baon nating kwento.
Gusto kong makasama ka sa bawat Lunes na darating. Oo, ikaw.
Pati na sa mga susunod na araw.
At kasabay sa pagtanaw sa susunod na sikat ng araw.
Ngayon nakarating na ko, sa punto ng buhay ko kung saan nandoon ang payapang hanap ko.
Na kahit ano mang unos ang makabangga kapit sa mga kamay mo ang pag-asa nitong dala.
Kaya halika, samahan mo ko sa bawat araw kahit Lunes man, isayaw natin 'to.
Everytime my birthday comes, I always try to put my pillow over my head and constrict it with force.
“Sadly, it always end up with sunken eyes and still breathing.”
Dandelion
Once upon a time in a greenery field, a dandelion bloomed.
That's the same day I met my grandmother.
Everything that surrounds me becomes yellow.
My grandmother used to tell me stories,
That those flowers bloom where they must be.
But others grow near the concrete where all was dry.
"And those two are not an accident," she follows.
That story doesn't sink in my head so I pretend that I always remember it.
Many years have pass and the field became part of the civilization,
And my grandmother was still there watching us grow.
That there are some moments that will be forgotten,
But there are times that we will miss it the most.
"When is my birthday?"
"Where is my room?"
"What is my name?"
She often asked those questions that I thought she pretended that she didn't remember.
But when she will tell the story of the dandelion it was always as blossom as the first time she will tell it.
The last time I saw her, she couldn't speak.
And I saw those eyes asking "who are you?"
I cried and took a breath that so deep,
And strongly said my name.
I noticed that her hair was white and frail.
That's why I wish if there's a chance to stop every second that the world takes, I will take it.
That's why I wish to have a moment with her in a prairie where dandelions bloom.
The wind will blow where I can feel her love.
The same moment where the dandelion will fly away.
Everyone will bloom so that they can learn how to fall and fly.
That to fly away is not always a goodbye,
And not every fall is a guarantee of an end.
And I'm so happy that she will be the best dandelion that will ever be.
Words That Not Meant To Be Said
If only I can say this enjoyment and bright side of those spectacular beginning. Maybe the garden of dandelion bloom towards us.
If only I can say all of this glooms, grudges, sadness & loneliness. Maybe I can destroy the whole world.
If only I can tell how I cherish you until the sky goes down. Maybe the stars fade to risen up the most brilliant star.
If only I can tell you how I love you until the time is totally forgotten. Maybe the Polaris can rest besides the moon.
But.
If only I can say those things without "If's" Maybe I can close my eyes, peacefully.
Hiraeth
My mother told me when I was a child; "If you feel unwary and sad, just go home and rest."
But I never went home sad.
I used to washed off the sadness, lying down in plains while watching flying kites
And went home at night with a blank slate.
My mother told me when I was a child; "If you feel unwary and sad, just go home and rest."
And I always thought that home is a safe haven.
That the surface around those walls is a heaven place on earth.
Even though there's a break in some bricks I tend to focus on what matters.
But years after, not every home is compose of ceiling and walls.
That not every doors can be open,
And not every windows can be clear.
That a home can go somewhere else and go back when they wants to.
But sometimes they don't even back.
Every so often they will clasp you through their arms like a blanket.
And leave you over and over.
And I used to.
I used that home is not always there
But it will not make you feel lonely.
But you will ask yourself; "what might happen if we choose different path?"
And we will see each other in every timelapse.
One year from now and I see you packing your luggages
You choose to be simple with those smile going somewhere far,
And we see goals not just a dream but something we can have,
But you never look back.
Thirty years from now and we see each other at the park
I'm playing Sky Sailing's song with my ukulele
And you walking around with your dog together with your grandchild.
Look as beautiful as before, like a sunrise in a morning.
Two years from now and I see you far away from my land,
I traced every step you take through prairie full of daffodils
And for the very first time the home becomes unknown.
Twenty years from now and we see each other at the grocery store
I'm debating with my wife in which carton of milk we should get
But we knew that it have same taste over and over.
And I see you with your daughter deciding in which cookies you should get,
You both very look alike and I wonder what you might named her.
Three years from now and the home will never be that home.
That raking through those ashes will not bring it back
But I still remember it smell, like a violet scented candle that surrounding it space.
I still remember the humming birds outside that becomes a lullaby
It all haunts me and I want it back, so bad.
Ten years from now and the world is shaking but still beautiful as you.
I'm sitting at the back of the church and I realize that the waiting is over,
That the hope is clear and it's already in our hands
And I see you in a white dress walking in the aisle towards your love one.
Just as precious as I told you before that it will happen and I'm happy with it even its not with me.
Five years from now and the new home is not always like I used to.
Even though my mother though me that; "if you feel unwary and sad, just go home and rest."
Still, it feels heavy by the sadness that it brings.
The memories of familiar home becomes ruin in a battlefield
Even the fight is over, I still want to go back.
Though, there's no place like home.
MIRASOL
Bumalik ako sa lungsod matapos ang mga buwan na pananatili sa probinsya.
Sa aming bayan, hitik sa bunga ang mga naglalakihang mga puno.
Naliligaw na rin ang mga iba't ibang bulaklak na tila ay ginagapang na ang patag na kalsada.
Pero dito sa lungsod, pumukaw ng atensyon ko ang mga mirasol na tumutubo.
Matagal na rin ang nakalipas ng ito'y aking nasaksihan,
Aliwalas ang dala nito sa paligid.
Hindi ito tulad ng mga nakikita ko sa mga larawan na hekta-hektarya ang lawak,
Nakita ko lang sa pagitan ng mga nagtataasang mga gusali at nakatanim sa pwestong makitid.
Pero batid ko, na hindi dapat ito para dito
Sapat dapat ang pagtama ng sikat ng araw.
Hindi usok at init ng siyudad ang tanging nalalasap nito
Pero tila mga bantayog na nagtataasan na nagawa na nilang masanay.
Hindi ramdam na ito'y mga iniwan
Bagkus sinubok nila na dito tumindig at mamuhay.
Pero hindi ba't ganito rin kita minahal?
Hindi ba't sabi mo na hindi ikaw ang araw na dapat kong tingalain?
Hindi ba't sabi mo na hindi ikaw ang halimuon na dapat kong hanap-hanapin?
Pero eto ako, tila monumento at mga alaala na ni minsan ay hindi nawala sa mga nawasak at naiwan.
Hindi ba't kay panatag?
Na sa bawat talulot na nalalanta ay bagong pagsibol ng bukas ang paparating
Na hindi tayo palaging naiiwan ng kahapon.
Hindi ba't kay hinahon?
Na sa bawat eskinita ay ingay ng alinsangan ang maririnig
Pero ang pagtibok ng pusong nagmamahal ang tangi lang dinig.
Hindi ba't kay payapa?
Na kahit bagyuhin at mabaha
Ay titingalain pa rin ang langit sa dala nitong pag-asa.
Kung maging masakit man at malanta sa huli
O matigang man ang damdamin o mapuno ng putik.
Pakatandaan na ang mga binhi ng alaala ay palaging nandiyan
Na ang pagmamahal ay mamumulaklak.
At ang pagmamahal ay mananatili na kahit sa kalaliman ng gabi ay hindi mawawalay.
Dahil ang araw-araw ay isang kongkreto
At ganito kita iibigin.
Hindi magtatanim ng galit
Hindi pipitas ng sakit at biglang aalis ng walang paalam.
Na laging haharap sa bukang-liwayway
At handa pa rin piliin ang magmahal.
KAHIDLAW
Minsan, sumagi na ba sa isip mo kung bakit tayo nandito.
Yung layo ng distansya.
Yung pagtama ng liwanag na halos di na kita maaninag.
Yung hinto sa bawat paglakad papalayo kahit gusto kong lumingon pabalik.
Bakit sa dinami-rami ng pagkakataon na kahit minsan hindi mo masambit yung pangalan ko.
Na sa tuwing ako ang kaagapay ay hindi sa daan ko ang iyong patungo.
Marahil kasi gusto natin maging tama, hindi dahil sa mga matang nakamasid.
Kung 'di dahil ito ang pinili sa atin ay iwangis.
Upang gampanan ang bawat karakter.
Sa pagkurap, pagbigkas, o sa pagsamo ng damdamin.
Pero ang hirap tanggapin na maging isang anino sa bawat oras na hinahanap mo ang bida.
Alam ba niya na kapag siya ang nawawala ay nandiyan ako para punan ang kalungkutan.
Alam ba niya nasa bawat luhang pumapatak ay ako ang nagiging sandalan.
Alam ba niya na handa kong yakapin ang mga demonyo mong hindi niya kayang tanggapin.
Alam ba niya na sa bawat oras na kayo'y magkasama ang ilaw na para sa'kin ay wala na.
Lahat nang gusto ko para sa akin ay wala na sa kwento ninyong dalawa.
Mahal, pakatadaan mo na sa bawat pantig ng mga salitang aking binibigkas ay parang punyal na unti-unting tumatarak sa puso ko.
Kasi kahit gusto ko man itong dagdagan o baguhin ang bawat pangungusap ay lagi ko pa rin sasabihin na "ayos lang ang lahat."
Ayos lang.
Kasi kahit hindi para sa akin ang entablado, ay masaya kang nagagampanan kung sino ka.
Kung ano ka ba talaga,
O kung para saan ba ang halaga ng bawat istorya.
Kaya pakiusap nawa ay pakatandaan mo,
Na sa lahat ng mga nasulat ko, ikaw ang paborito kong paksa.
Na paulit-ulit kong isasaisip, hanggang sa dumating yung pagkakataong tapos na.
Magiging mga bakas ang bawat alaala at pagdating sa takdang oras, masasabi kong paalam na.
Kat-Lligraphy, Makati. 1.4K likes. Ink and Pen with art I made :)
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