Anything
God I will do anything. Anything.
How did it happen … I don’t know that I can even tell you every step. I grew up in a Christian home and went to Christian college / grad school, but even that didn’t get me to allow ANYTHING. When I was in college I felt God calling me to work with at-risk kids, but hadn’t really given Him my “anything”. My “anything” journey probably started about 7 years ago, on June 14, 2008. I moved to Round Lake, MN to live with my brother and his two kiddos and teach at the high school there. That is when I began building relationships with some great Christian friends, I was in a great small group, growing together and encouraging each other. At the time, I didn’t notice the changes that God was making in my life, but looking back … WOW! He has brought me a long way! I began working for Timber Bay and working with at-risk youth … and fell in love with this group of kids. Through this ministry I met a sweet kid. She quickly became like a daughter to me. In October 2013, she told me that she was pregnant. She was 16. I fought with God for several months … finally the beginning of April 2014, I talked to her about adopting her and her baby (she was in foster care). She started crying, she was so happy. We began the process of me becoming a foster / adoptive parent. We spent most weekends together, and many other times in between. On May 2, I picked her up and she hadn’t been feeling well. She told me that she really wanted to name the baby Nevaeh if it was a girl, but if it was a boy I could name him. I told her that I really liked the name Zaedynn that she had been talking about. What if we named the baby Zaedynn Charles (after my dad) if it was a boy. She thought that was a great idea. Little did we know that later that night we would be in the hospital dealing with the fact that “our” baby was gone. She delivered a still baby at 3:45 am on May 3. We got to hold him and take some pictures. Over the next couple of months, both of us grieved. I tried to be strong for her, but that only made my grief come out in other ways. We didn’t communicate well with each other through the grief and on July 3, she ran away and never came back. (She has since moved to another foster home, and gotten back in contact with me.) I still love her. I made a choice in April 2014 that she was going to be my daughter. That doesn’t change just because she ran away. It showed me an important reality about God. He loves us even when we run from Him. I am grateful that God is allowing us to reconnect again. Shortly after this I found out that Timber Bay was going to close the Worthington area. I was reeling in confusion and hurt and disappointment. About the time my daughter moved into my home, I heard the song, “Oceans” by Hillsong United. The more I listened to it, the more I started to “feel” the Spirit leading me to give my “Anything”. Within a month I had started preparing to take the National Counselors Examination and in the process of opening a private counseling center. I would love to say that the process has been easy and quick and that I have totally “evolved” into an “anything-girl”. But I am scared to death! In spite of that fear, I am continuing down this path that God is leading me and excited to see what He is going to do. A friend told me a couple days ago, “if your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough!” I think there is a lot of truth to that … if what we are doing doesn't scare us, God is probably not behind it! At this point I am focusing on the counseling center / ministry for at-risk children and youth, but open to God’s direction to go back to the foster care / adoption route (and do both).
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