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good thursday im feeling a bit more like myself today ♥️

#anyway!!!!!!!!!!#hope everyone has or is having or will have a great very good wonderful special day <3333333

anOTHER thing about teaching Shakespeare as I get older is that I've done it enough times that there is a sense I've sort of burned through all my different readings of it. And there's been times I've hated that feeling--that my take was not quite as true with time as I thought it was to start with. But I've also learned that all my readings of it sink into how I speak about it and enrich my thoughts even if I don't see it, meaning the play, in exactly the same way anymore.

#i remember my starting point for Macbeth as a play was a focus on their love story #and how they were a real love story despite the evil and tragedy #and emotionally that has just kind of faded for me in the past couple years #in the sense of me realizing how destructive they are and also how STUPID #so i don't read it as sentimentally #and yet------#that truth is still there #that thing Chesterton talks about. about how married they are is still true!#and it still informs my thoughts but there's more breathing room now #because that's not the only angle i'm coming at it from #I have felt this with hamlet and ophelia too #going from loving the doomed romance #to being like this isn't a romance at all #and yet the poignancy of the first take makes my second more complete #and also also also. i am inching my way closer to saying less.#to just letting it BE #but somehow presenting it to the kids with all of those layers connected to it #(i think)#so then THEY start saying it. feeling it.#like this year! this was the first time i didn't really say or underline the moment when Hamlet says 'I loved Ophelia. 40 #just because i was really paying attention to how mismatched they ARE this year #and being less sentimental about her #but then one of the boys was like 'wait--he said he loved her'#and i was like 'yeah'#because i mean. YEAH. HE DOES SAY THAT #AND HE DOES #love her i mean #anyway!!!!!!!!!!

i don't wanna go off in LRP's notes, so i'm making a separate post. pls don't reblog i'm just venting!!

but genuinely, i've found the rmd fandom in general to be abysmally normal. and i'm not saying that in an edgy way. there's just... very little subversion. everything is so cisnormative, heteronormative. hardly any dead dove or dark topics touched on, or allowed in in zines, servers, etc.

as i said in my tags on the post, i found solace with my handful of freaks on my locked twit. bc like, the SECOND i posted my scratchwake fic on ao3, i got a hate comment lol like sorrryyyy i transed your favorite writer's gender and made his shadow self impregnate him with the universe :/ sorryyyyy for being an occultist who made your demiurge into a trans man and his womb into the sea of binah :/

but i digress. for a game with such occultism baked in, with a fandom so queer, y'all sure don't like either of these things represented in unconventional ways lol

#i'll get off my soapbox now but this shit has legit annoyed me for over a year atp #like. i felt so so so isolated in the rmd fandom as a gay trans man #so i ofc made the content i wanted to see but it was clear nobody else wanted to see it #even my caseywake fic flopped. and i have to presume its bc alan is trans in it #and obv numbers don't matter. but it goes back to the original point of OP's post #that this fandom overall is not very subversive #anyway!!!!!!!!!!#messages from binah

THE SCREAM I SCREMPT

#HE SAYS #''Diabolik #Lovers''#BUT IN FUCKING SPANISH IM-#I AM NOT OKAY #//////.///////#IT'S SO FUCKING /////.//////#UM!!!!!!#ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!#I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO WATCH IT??????#IT'S UM #//////////./////////:#It sounds like that start of a telenovela I fucking can't #(I mean it isn't NOT the start to a telenovela though fr XD)#Diabolik dub

elphaba was a victim of abuse

in this essay i will

#noah.txt #thinking a lot tonight boys #wow #i dont want to think about what this means or implies #for myself #as a child #anyway!!!!!!!!!!#wicked

So I came out today

At a Spectrum/LGBTQ event hosted on campus. I went with my friend (who I was already out to) and they encouraged me to go up and share my story and I did! I told everyone I was aromantic, bisexual, and a trans man, and I was kinda nervous but the president of the Spectrum RSO also happens to be an arospec trans man and I was like! SAME HAT BRO and he actually used the word alloaro and I almost screamed bc I didnt know if anyone would actually use that word and I was like THATS ME THATS ME IM ALLOARO

#ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!#shay speaks #national coming out day #aromantic #bisexual #transgender #trans man #alloaro #college posting #twas a good day

please excuse me while i bawl my eyes out because of this Thirty Year Old Man being god knows where with paulo

#franco vazquez #anyway!!!!!!!!!!#sir i like your side profile #also your everything #i like it all #now. a selfie. must i beg orrrr

#anyway!!!!!!!!!!

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