This is actually one of my favourite sequences ever.
Rin is SO excited to be fighting with his brother. OKAY. It makes me go crazy. It really is all he wants it makes me sick because at this moment its probably one of the things Yukio LEAST wants to be doing.
Hi! Idk if you’re writing rn but if ever possible, can I get an angst request for Rin? One where he still might have feelings for Shiemi and decides to break it up with his current s/o? And s/o decides to leave now that they proposed a better position within the Order but not in the Japanese Branch? Ultimately leaving Rin, along with a promise ring or piece of jewelry he gave them back when they were together? If not, you can happily skip this request and I hope to see more of your works!
EPHEMERAL | RIN OKUMURA X READER
angst | 1640 words | thank you for this request, man I love writing angsty works 😈 I hope this was what you were looking for! | sorry for any grammar errors I wrote this just now at 2am lmao
You knew that look. Too well, as a matter of fact. It was the same look he once (or so you thought) had given you.
Rin’s blue eyes were always warm. Always welcoming. Always… homey. Yet, when his eyes followed Shiemi’s figure, the way her hair moved in the wind, the way she spoke animatedly about something she loved, or the way she subconsciously reached for him when in danger, you knew.
It wasn’t just curiosity, no. It was never just curiosity with Rin. You two had been friends for years now, since high school. Barely 18, after the long-lasting battle against Satan (which had dragged on far too long), you had officially been working as exorcists for a year now. The same amount of time you and Rin had been dating.
At first, it almost seemed like a joke. Rin? Rin Okumura, who from day one had made it very clear he had a fat crush on Shiemi, asked you out? It had to be a joke.
And yet, you went on that date. And another after that. And another one. Until kisses became familiar. Until sleeping in the same bed wasn’t awkward anymore. Until having him all over you was something you both wanted, if not needed. And yet, something still bugged you.
You pride yourself on being able to read people. On knowing what they would say and how they would act even before they did it. And perhaps, you had always been aware of what Rin was thinking. You just didn’t want to believe that after a whole year of being together, three years of friendship, he could throw it all away so easily because he wasn’t truly in love with you. Because he had never stopped being in love with Shiemi.
So when he came to you that afternoon, it shouldn’t have blindsided you. But it still did.
“I think we should break up,” he said, with such casualness. As if he were announcing he was going out for a walk. As if he hadn’t held you the whole night before.
“Rin… what—?” You couldn’t even form words. What could you even say? What was there to say?
“Just— it doesn’t feel right. I’m sorry, I— just, I still wanna be friends, okay? I’ll see you around,” he said, with those damned eyes that, even now, as he completely tore your heart out, were looking at you with nothing but softness. With nothing but care. If not a bit of pity.
And with that, he left.
Leaving you alone in the middle of your dorm room, staring off into space, incredulous at what had just happened. You couldn’t quite understand how someone who had said, “I love you. You’re the light of my life,” just one day earlier could now leave you so easily. And worst of all, be sucking off Shiemi’s face mere hours after breaking things off with you.
You weren’t sure what hurt more. His betrayal or her’s. Or maybe, the way the others didn’t even bat an eye. As if they had been waiting for this. As if they had almost expected it to happen.
“I mean, what did you expect? That guy’s an idiot, and he’s been crushing on Shiemi for years now,” Izumo had said nonchalantly, keeping her eyes on her manga without even acknowledging your presence.
“That’s Okumura for ya,” Bon had simply said as he excused himself, going back to help Lightning.
Shima had just laughed and Miwa had given you a sorrowful look, but at the end of the day, it seemed they all believed the same thing and you were the odd one out.
And so as days passed and you naturally started to distance yourself from them, you noticed how they… almost didn’t care. Maybe they truly didn’t. They walked in a group, all so fitting. The perfect number. Bon and Izumo. Miwa putting up with Shima. And Rin with Shiemi. You didn’t fit in the equation and that was painfully obvious.
So that same night, three weeks after everything went down, when Angel approached you with an offer for a better position in one of the foreign exorcist branches, you didn’t have to think twice about your answer.
Despite the subtle melancholy settling in your chest, your hands began packing your essentials. A ring you thought you had lost tumbled out of your jacket’s inner pocket. The same ring Rin had given you after your first date as an official couple. A “promise.” Or so he had said. A promise of his eternal love. His care. His heart. The thin silver band felt cold in your palm. Light and meaningless, just like Rin’s words from that day.
By the time you finished packing, it was late at night. Late enough to hear the cicadas buzzing outside your window, accompanied by the warm breeze of the summer night. One last look, one last thought, and you left the room without looking back. Your shoes echoed in the empty, silent corridor. Almost ironic, in a way. While everyone was outside celebrating the Gion Matsuri, you were here. Alone. Empty. Just like these hallways.
You reached what you had been looking for, Rin’s dorm. You stepped inside quietly, not lingering for too long. One gentle pet to the sleeping cat on his bed and then you left the ring alongside a letter on his desk. It should have felt liberating. But instead, it felt like nothing.
That feeling of emptiness, maybe even discomfort, you get when you finish the last chapter of a very bad book. That’s how it felt. And so, you turned back as your feet carried you out once more, without looking back.
When Rin woke up that morning his head throbbed to the point he almost saw double. He felt like shit. He smelled like shit. But most of all he felt suffocated. Like there was a presence so heavy in the room that almost knocked the breathing out of his lungs. He quietly and carefully separated his limbs from the sleeping blonde at his side, leaving a soft kiss to her forehead before placing a loosely wrapped robe around his naked body.
On his way to the bathroom something sparkly on his desk caught his attention. He didn’t recognise the ring immediately, but he did recognise the handwriting on the letter. And so, he picked up both the letter and the ring, heading to the bathroom, closing the door behind him carefully.
Dear Rin,
I don’t know how to start this, and I don’t think I ever will. What do you even say to someone who once promised you forever, only to take it back like it meant nothing? What do you say to someone who looked at you with love one day and at someone else the next?
I think I always knew. The way you looked at her, the way you spoke about her, the way your heart was never fully in it when you were with me. I told myself I was imagining things. That I was insecure. That I was just being paranoid. But the truth is, I was just ignoring what was right in front of me. I refuse to do that anymore.
I won’t pretend I didn’t love you, I did. With everything I had. And maybe that’s why this hurts so much. Because I wasn’t just losing a boyfriend, I was losing the person I thought was my home. But homes don’t make you feel like an afterthought. They don’t make you feel like second best.
So I’m leaving. Not just you, not just this place, but everything that ever tied me to you. By the time you read this I’ll already be gone. Italy. The right hand to the Paladin, if you can believe it. I’m not angry. I’m not even sad anymore. I just feel… empty. Like I wasted so much love on someone who never really wanted it. But that’s okay. I’ll find someone who does.
And you will have her. The one you always wanted. I hope it was worth it.
Goodbye Rin.
P.S. – You can keep the ring. It was never really mine to begin with, was it?
Rin read the letter again. Then again. A second, a third, a fourth time. The words blurred together as he tried to blink the tears away.
He hadn’t expected this. But, what had he expected?
His fingers tightened around the letter, knuckles white. The ring sat in his other hand and for a moment he just stared at it.
Something inside him twisted painfully. His first instinct was to move, to do something, anything. His feet moved before he could truly think. Urging him outside the bathroom and towards the front door of his room. His hand was already reaching for the handle as if he could stop this. As if he could still find you. But the second his fingers brushed against the cold metal he froze.
You were already gone. You made that clear enough in your words. His grip on the doorknob loosened, his shoulders slumping. His breath felt tight in his chest, but he didn’t know why.
This was what he had wanted, wasn’t it?
Shiemi was still sleeping peacefully in his bed, curled up where he had left her, her golden hair spilling across the sheets like something out of a dream. He had made his choice.
And yet…
He looked back down at the letter, at the neat, steady handwriting, the way it didn’t waver, not even once. The words weren’t angry. They weren’t desperate. They weren’t even sad.
They were final.
Rin swallowed hard. For the first time, he wondered if he had made a mistake.
.｡*♡ﾟ a/n: Masterlist to this series can be found here. Enjoy!
Satan, the all-powerful demon king, was many things for many people. A good leader with great achievements, a good strategist who won all his battles and a good father to each of his eight children - for a demon he was just too good and if anyone told that to humans, Satan knows they would surely laugh until having their bellies aching and crying. A demon being good? Impossible.
'It should be impossible', the king spent a lot of time thinking about his nature, about good and bad, right and wrong. None of the answers satisfied him. ', but she taught me how to be like that. My love, Yuri. And in memory of her I will be better.' He decided.
But that promise was harder to keep than he first thought. Not because he didn't want to fulfill it, but because enough accumulated regrets occupied a big space in his heart, after all good demons clearly feel as much as humans; and Satan felt weak for having his children taken from him and not being able to help it, for seeing his beloved die when he knew she had the power and the means to save her.
He knew he had failed Yuri. He didn't protect his family like he said he would and there was nothing he could do now but wait and remember the past and his mistakes and have to live with them for eternity, here, sitting on his golden throne, surrounded by their other children and guiding Gehenna to a promising future. And Satan, to punish himself, to feel something other than sadness, thought of those adorable plump cheeks, those serene blue eyes, the blue flames that surrounded him, his son whom he had glimpsed only once during his birth. Not a day went by that he didn't think about Rin. And Yukio.
And on that particular day, he did just that. The man sat in his armchair by the window, the black rays of Gehenna's moonlight falling on him and framing a thoughtful expression on his face, the gentle wind making his short hair dance at the base of his neck, any other time the sensation would have made him laugh. But it was a little late now, his children should be retiring to their rooms at that very moment, the guards should be patrolling the corridors and he tiredly wondered if Astaroth had been successful in his little mission.
Satan always knew where his sons lived thanks to Samael's information (although he was calling himself Mephisto now), even far away he could see the entire structure of that monastery in his mind, he could feel the energy of his sons. And even if he couldn't materialize in Assiah because of his enormous power, Satan could still send his children, who he trusted immensely, to try to get Rin and bring him back - it was difficult, mainly because Shiro always seemed to know when these attempts would occur. And his other son, so much like Yuri, didn't inherit his blue flames and therefore couldn't bear to live on Gehenna, he couldn't. And it was a pity.
The demon let out a huge sigh. He moved his hand and vinyl began to play soft music to fill the deafening silence of his room. The king was tired and he knew that it would be wise to sleep to rest his mind and body, it would be better to direct his attention to important matters tomorrow such as upcoming festivals or meetings with his advisors. But he didn't do any of that.
Without much thought, Satan picked up Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and traced the cover design slowly with his index finger. He remembered how it was one of the first books Yuri had sneaked him while teaching him in Section 13 and the debate that followed after he had read it. It was a story, that after her death, the loneliness of Victor and the creature in the face of a society that rejected them and the pain of not having a meaningful connection was something that he could now understand. He understands a little too well. He opened the book.
Satan had only read two paragraphs, skimming over the words he knew almost by heart when he sensed something different. The Gehenna gate screamed for him, magic telling him that someone had passed through. Someone small, too small to be Astaroth, someone he would recognize anywhere.
His woozy, shaky figure rises from his armchair, the flames in the fireplace giving him a hopeful air as he leaves his room with hurried steps. The air is heavy, suffused with the magic of the portal that slowly begins to close in the north wing of the castle, announcing, screaming, that after waiting for years for this moment finally his son was here, just a few corridors away. Satan feels his heart trembling like crazy, slamming against his chest in an almost inhuman pace.
"Dad, Dad!" A soft voice calls him. It's Egyn, walking as hard as he is. His daughter looked like she was calling him for a couple of minutes now, but there is a sweet smile on her pretty face. "It worked, right?"
Satan makes a sound of agreement, tongue tied against his mouth, stomach churning, he almost feels like a demon adjusting to its host's body again. He almost feels younger than he really is. And if Yuri saw him now, Satan knew she would laugh at the silly expression on his face, just like she laughed when she told him she was pregnant, just like she laughed when he felt the first kicks or when they spent hours and hours wondering what name give to your children - each name sillier than the last.
Egyn held her father's hand as they continued walking, perhaps she imagined that the strong emotions would make him pass out. Satan couldn't say if she was correct or not in her assumptions, because at every step taken he could feel the peaceful presence of his son, he felt the breath in his lungs, the sighs escaping his lips, and he himself felt anxiety taking hold of him.
"Everything will be fine." She whispered just before they turned the last corridor. "We're all together now, dad."
Finally, they reached a place where the darkness was thickest and most oppressive, the remnants of the gate's magic still lingering in the air. There, Rin was sitting on the cold floor, eyes closed in a dreamy expression, sleeping and being protected by Astaroth's familiars who seemed intrigued by him, some small demons stroking his hair, others resting on his shoulders or playing with the folds of his blouse. It was one of the most peaceful sights for Satan's eyes.
The king stopped a few feet away from his son. Silence hung heavy in the air, only the crackling of the blue flames in the candelabra attached to the ceiling echoed almost soundlessly, so far away that Satan didn't even seem to register in his mind. He was here. He really was here, Satan felt a smile break over his face as he knelt in front of Rin, cool fingers touching the warm skin of his son's cheek. Satan took him in his arms, almost not believing that all that was real.
He turned, Egyn's eyes as bright as his. It was real.
His son was at home. He was home safe and sound, and Satan couldn't help but feel happiness and relief coursing through his entire body. His son was really at home, this was not a dream.
The first thing Rin noticed as he felt his consciousness returning was that there was a warm, strong light about him, a light that cradled him like a mother takes her child in her arms to protect them from the cold and the dangers of the world, with care and affection. And he smiled without realizing it, so comfortable in his bed that he could almost go back to the world of dreams accompanied by its fluffy covers and soft pillows that made his head sink into them. But just as he was on the verge of unconsciousness, his body jolted on the bed as if he had remembered what happened a few hours ago before his mind was able to process the facts. The boy opened his eyes at the same moment, blinking to get used to the brightness of the room.
Rin searched his memory for what had happened to Astaroth, but the last few moments were like a cloudy blur in his mind, all he remembered was the hurried voices and the taste of magic on his tongue, the thin air of Gehenna and the drowsiness that had involved him. He didn't know what happened. Or rather, after going through the portal everything went dark and the more he tried to remember, the more his head hurt. The boy closed his eyes again, emitting a sound of pain.
'But hey, at least I'm home' Rin thought with renewed enthusiasm, smiling.
Suddenly a hand descended on his head, stroking his scalp gently. A caress that made Rin limp, enjoying the pampering and his blue eyes connected with the man sitting in a chair next to his bed.
Instantly Rin noticed that he definitely looked more like his father than his mother. His father, as he deduced, possessed a handsome face framed by broad cheeks and bright, expressive eyes like the sky while white locks fell over broad shoulders and his posture remained unyielding. The boy's eyes filled with shock and excitement as he recognized his father, slowly trying to sit up not knowing if he wanted to hug the man or offer him a handshake. Poor Rin didn't know how to act or feel, but he was too happy to care.
"You... you are my father!" He whispered softly, his voice full of a strange feeling that took over his entire chest. He suddenly felt nervous and didn't know what to say without making a fool of himself in front of the man.
Satan nodded, revealing a slight smile that showed off his huge white fangs. If it had come from anyone else that smile would have scared him, but Rin felt safe. "Yes, indeed, I'm your father."
Father. The word was so foreign to the boy, Rin mentally repeated it over and over again, testing how it sounded. And it was so good, it was good to have a face he could associate the word father with after so long with only Shiro as a reference. Rin had known his father for a minute, but he could feel that he would get along very well with the man. Whether he was king or not, Rin knew a lot of cool games they could play together.
"Tell me, how do you feel?" Satan asked, his fingers slowly brushing his son's unruly hair as they maintained eye contact, each of them as surprised as the other.
Rin shrugged before thinking about it, he felt many things at that very moment, he felt a mixture of hope and curiosity for this new world, he felt sadness and anger for the events in the other world. But he didn't know where one feeling began and the other ended and trying to name either of them now would give him a terrible headache. Instead, he preferred to look around his gold and white room, thinking about all that the future held for him.
It was a room he had only seen drawn once, in a book about princesses and princes - Rin momentarily forgot he was a prince. It was large and airy, and several chandeliers with blue flames jutted from the walls, adding a special touch to the marble furniture. Rin noticed only at that moment how the curtains on the posts that adorned his huge bed swayed rhythmically, weakly, as if welcoming their prince to Gehenna. He loved the place. There was also a huge mountain of toys of all kinds stored on a shelf. Rin looked at a white dog and he instantly liked that plush, imagined what it would be like to sleep with it and how soft its fur must be.
A few moments later he looked back at his father curiously. "What happened to Astaroth? He is fine, right?"
Satan's lips trembled in a silent laughter at his son's question, the question was too innocent, as innocent as the silly questions Yuri used to ask. "Yes he is. Astaroth is in the halls bragging to your other siblings about how valiantly he fought to bring you home." Satan laughed softly.
The boy was visibly happy that his older brother was okay, feeling a weight lift from his arms. He was fine and not injured from the fight with Shiro, Rin was pretty sure the exorcist planned to kill Astaroth or injure him badly enough to send him to the hospital. Rin wondered for a second if demons have hospitals.
Satan cleared his throat, sitting up straighter in his chair. There was only one doubt that made him uneasy and he needed to ask his son. "Astaroth told me he found you in the rain, uh, crying, Rin. Do you want to talk about that?"
Rin felt like someone had forced him to eat sand and it was all stuck in his throat, the boy looked up at his father, his blue eyes a miscellaneous mix of pain. He opened and closed his mouth, no sound came out.
Satan took a deep breath, he imagined the worst possible scenarios. Maybe the order had trained his son to be an exorcist, maybe they had studied him in a lab all those years like he was a rat. And each thought irritated him more, an irritating voice mocking him and his failed efforts to protect his son, Satan ignored it and looked at the scenery outside those windows.
A small hand closed over his, uncertainly, as if it were the first time such contact had been voluntarily initiated. Rin swallowed the dryness in his throat, his grip tightening.
The young prince began to narrate the day's events, how lonely he felt at the monastery, how it was his birthday and there was no one to celebrate it with, and as he vented, Rin felt light. So he continued speaking, his voice the only thing that cut through the dead silence and the rage that settled in Satan's heart upon learning of the way his son has been treated all those years.
Rin spoke of the traumatic kindergarten where no child wanted to play with him and he was left isolated, after the bullying and the pain he held in his chest for not having anyone to talk to who he trusted. Rin looked extremely bitter when talking about Yukio's sudden departure. His grip on his father's hand tightened. The boy took a big breath, almost used to the dense air of this world before continuing to vent - when he was emotional it was common for him to talk without ever stopping or thinking. Satan knew someone who did the exact same thing and he felt a small pain in his chest. The people most loved by him were usually the ones who suffered the most.
"My opinions may be clouded by my thoughts, but I'm pretty sure Shiro didn't like me very much." He murmured, half sad, half blaming himself for something that wasn't his fault. The boy looked at his father. "Why do people not like demons?"
Satan sketched a sad smile, getting up from his chair to sit next to his son on the bed, hugging him by the shoulders. For a being who had been prowling the human world for a long time and seen a lot, Satan didn't have an answer.
Just as he didn't know why Frankenstein sought so much to be seen as human when he knew he couldn't be one. There was something especially bittersweet about trying to be something you can't. Satan tried to live as a human and the only thing he learned from them was about ego, pride and arrogance, perhaps a very dark time in his past that he intended not to remember.
"They are afraid." It was a simple answer, one that offered no comfort to Rin. And the boy frowned. "They are afraid because we live longer, we are stronger and because they cannot control us. We may work together with them, but we're never really united."
"But why do they want to control?" Rin asked innocently. "Why can't we all live together, without fighting?"
Rin laid his head on his father's shoulder so carefully as if he himself hadn't yet believed that he was here or that he wasn't fully human. Even for someone young like him, all of that was a lot of information for him to absorb in such a short space of time, Rin didn't even know what being half demon meant. Did he gain some super cool power or something?
"Yuri, your mother, she also liked the idea of us all living together." Satan told him. When it comes to his dear wife, the king could talk about her for hours on end. "She spent years researching and caring for demons. The other exorcists thought she was crazy for it, but she didn't care, Yuri always did what she thought she should do."
Rin looked at him with twinkles in his eyes. Shiro never said much about his mother, but he didn't ask either. Rin was afraid of the answer.
"Rin, your mother loved you and wanted so much to show you what the world had to offer, she told me that she wanted you to live here to learn what justice and kindness were, because in her world, the human world, she suffered the closed minded prejudices, the pain of rejection and the abuses of life just like you son." His father muttered, the unhappy pain piercing his chest at knowing what Shiro let happen to his son without trying to protect him. Even if Rin was his son, he was just a child.
"I never wanted to leave you, Rin." Satan whispered low, feeling the blue flames become more aggressive. "I never wanted any of this to happen."
Rin was silent, processing his father's words. He could feel the sincerity in his words, it was the same sincerity of a tired person. The boy supposed he'd been trying to get him back for all those years.
"I understand." He promised. "And I don't blame you for anything, dad."
Father and son remained silent for several minutes, there were several subjects they wanted to talk to each other, several questions to be asked. But Satan was tired and sleepless for days, and now his mind was at peace, his head rested on Rin's and his grip loosened on the boy's shoulder. None of them had the heart to pull away as they settled down for a nap.
Rin had called him dad! His heart was beating fast against his chest and a smile grew on his face.
"Happy birthday, son."
Ironically, in the world of demons, beings so terrible and evil by human standards, that day was blessed. The reunion of father and son marked a new beginning for each of them, a new chance to create an emotional bond and to have something that was taken away from them.
