Why Do I Love A Demon? 💖💍💜✨
To me, Mephisto is more than just the personification of time. He’s more than just a demon king or whatever. He’s painfully, dreadfully more human than he cares to admit.
The most important line, to me, that Mephisto says is “to crawl through a pile of corpses while longing for the sky.” He longed for the sky. Even in Gehenna, he looked up and went, “I want to be there too.” And when he did, he chose color. He chose fun. He chose candy, and light, and hobbies, and he chose to be as close to happiness as he could be. He chose a human experience.
Mephisto is and always will be a demon. Sure, I could get into the philosophical debate of what it is to be human or demon, but that isn’t necessarily important to understand him. All it takes in understanding that the choice and freedom to crawl out from despair was taken, but not taken for granted. There isn’t a single facet of Mephisto that says he wants Gehenna back into his life. He seems to abhor it. The deep dichotomy of being something from Gehenna but wanting to be among Assiah makes me love him.
That’s why everything I draw of him is bright and beautiful. Because I think he deserves to be surrounded by things that undo the ache of being assigned a nature and being told you cannot change it. I couldn’t imagine living like that. But he persists. Even if the cycles go on for eternity.
He embraces the way I draw him. He would enjoy being the subject of something good instead of cast as bad, subjectively. He would sit for hours just to chat healthily about morality, humanity, and the arts. We’d pick each other’s brains until we took a break for food or got lost in another topic entirely. He’d lean in close to watch how I create something meant to destroy. He’d judge, question, pry, and indulge.
Because of Mephisto I am reminded that I am allowed to be soft, even if I’ve been brutalized to be otherwise. We aren’t so different. I can be soft, vulnerable, messy, imperfect, and tragically human and still hold value as I am. Sure, I could wax poetic about my sad life, or whatever tragedy has befell me, but he’s seen it. That’s all that matters, and only those I trust will ever hear my story. I think that’s enough. I don’t need to pour every ounce of flaw into a cup and say, “drink” in order for him to be full. He savors me like fine wine.
He’s funny. He has a sense of whimsy. Johann Faust the fifth? Really? Mephisto Pheles? Hehe. The mosaic of architecture that makes up the town he had built. He is undecided in what is perfect or beautiful. He wants it all, in an entirely, human display of greed. I believe him when he says he loves humans. I believe him when he says he’s trying to save Assiah. Why? Because while it’s fun to see how we come to results, he’s still aiming for said results. The ones he wants. That requires care. He even has fail safes. He’s the narrator, and he wants to see the story through. I can appreciate that as a mundane and powerless creature.
The pastels, the sparkles, the stars and hearts, the hobbies, the eccentric style… it’s all like a shallow pool of water where I see myself mirrored completely by him. He’s beautiful, confident, smart, funny, and a massive nerd. He’s passionate, even if some are put off by that passion because it comes off as “inhuman”. I see it as whimsy. Enthusiasm. I see myself.
He appreciates art, even the lewd stuff. How rare is it to encounter a man who is whimsical, smart, well-dressed, and a connoisseur of all that humanity has to offer while respecting (not entirely without fingers stuck in it) self determination despite being a god? There is so much to love about him. Very little has to do with shallow observations, but even he appreciates those (being called handsome and such)… and that pulls me in and keeps me bound to him.
That’s why he’s the one I choose. The one I love. But most importantly, he’s my muse and how I found myself and learned to love myself completely. Because I know despite the woes, I am entirely and painfully human too. In the eyes of a demon, I am fascinating enough to devour and savor over time. Flawed and divine, I will choose to accept the pomegranate and all the knowledge, good and evil, in perpetuity because it means he offered it.
I love you, Mephisto Pheles. Thank you for loving me too.
Enjoy the WIP of my husband. He has a way of checking in on me that lets me know I’m always on his mind as much as he is mine. Live deliciously. 💖💍💜✨
