Ayato Kirishima Headcanons
Warnings: Mentions of depression
I decided to make some angsty headcanons about an underrated character, because I'm depressed and I like writing depressing stuff.
I will possibly be making fluffy headcanons soon, once I have got through requests that been sent through.
Hope everyone has/has had a lovely day ♥
(Sorry if Ayato seems out of character)
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~ It takes Ayato a long time to trust people, whether it be because he is scared of losing them in the near future or just simply because he doesn't like or trust them.
~ Whenever he has a break down, he beats himself up about it because he feels that he's being weak by showing his true emotions.
~Will usually lock himself in his room for possibly days on end because he genuinely can not gather up enough energy to face the day head on.
~He stays up late all night thinking about every little thing that is wrong with him, thinking that he is not strong, he is not worthy, he does not belong in this world.
~ I like to think that Ayato has a small little rabbit plush that Touka gave to him when they are younger. When he left Anteiku and got recruited by Aogori, he kept it in his room possibly left in a box under his bed or in his wardrobe as a small reminder that good things can still happen.
~I feel that Ayato's way to relax is by listening to music, usually it would be genres such as rock or metal (things that come under the anger therapy genre). I also think that he'd learn how to do a metal scream and he uses it as another way to vent his frustrations.
~His tough facade usually breaks late at night when he is finding things particularly rough and he'll sometimes go to a roof top during the night to just watch the night life. He'd mainly like to go to the roof tops when it's raining and dark because it makes him feel slightly more peaceful.
~Being weak is a big issue to him and as previously mentioned he will beat himself up about these types of things matless if someone kind enough tells him that it is okay for him to let his guard down once in a while.
~ He does genuinely miss his family and Anteiku despite how many times he curses them out.
~Ayato doesn't know how to deal with negative emotions in a healthy manner. He usually takes it out on his teammates and other members of Aogori, which then of course leads everyone to be scared of him and dislike him, he goes on killing sprees, he shuts everybody out and just shuts down himself.
~He's mad at the world for all of it's injustices. He's mad at the people who pretend that everything is alright, that the inequality and hatred between ghouls and humans is invisible and isn't a thing. He hates humans for taking away pretty much everything that he loved.
~As he got older the hatred and despair started to slowly slip away because he began to learn that being sour about everything is going to get him no where and although he grasped this concept there was always something deep down that makes him want to give everything up.
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