girls do it better | hange x reader (+ levi and erwin) | NSFW | Oneshot
summary: hange has always adamantly refused to join you and the other girls in the communal bath. sure, you might be a little tipsy, but that doesn't mean you don't like what you see. themes: transfem or intersex hange, aot poly relationship, sexual curiosity, hypersexual!reader, riding girl-dick, domestic situationship levi word count: 1.5k | ao3 ver.
Hange was rather private when it came to issues of shared baths and showers, but when it was you that asked something of her, she'd be a fool would refuse.
“Huh?!”
Hange let out an awkward laugh, her face burning. Glancing around the linoleum tiled showerroom, she focused on anything but the naked woman in front of her as she rubbed the back of her neck. You certainly weren’t one to mince your words, not that that was a huge bother to Hange.
Your head shot upwards, eyes wide. Your jaw dropped, you were speechless, and you gawked down at the area between Hange’s legs again.
“I thought you were a girl?!” you sputtered.
“Uh, well. I sort of am.”
“I mean, you’ve got tits,” you said, your eyes staring directly at Hange’s rack as you spoke. “But…you also have a dick? I’m confused.”
“This is why I don’t like to take baths with everyone,” Hange admitted under her breath. “It doesn’t take long for everyone to notice the odd one out.”
You lifted your fingers to your chin, making an inquisitive face. It only took a few moments for that puzzled look to transform into a radiant smile.
“Well, it’s not like it matters,” you chirped. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Hange. I was just surprised.”
“N-no worries,” Hange answered. “I’m kind of used to it by now.”
You took Hange’s hand in your own, tugging the taller woman towards the bath. Curiously, you asked, “So do you like girls or boys, then?”
“It…doesn’t really matter,” Hange said, her eyes flicking down to your ass before she forced herself to look away. “I think I’ve been attracted to both in the past.”
“But your biggest weakness is cute girls. Right?”
Why did you have to say it like that and smile like that too? Hange was trying to be decent, but that cheeky little vixen just loved to mess with her, didn’t she?! It was no wonder that Levi always looked so tired after a night of handling you. Hange briefly wondered how the commander was able to remain so stoic, even when you were lauding him with your flirtatious comments.
You giggled suddenly, directing Hange’s focus back your way. Squeezing her hand firmly, you said, “I’ll take that as a yes.”
Hange pressed her palm to her face, trying her best to hide her glowing cheeks beneath. As you led her into the warm pool of water, she let out a sigh of relief when her hips were submerged.
From the waist up, you just looked like two girls enjoying each other’s company in the communal bath. Hange didn’t have to worry so much about running into anyone else, or all the questions that were bound to come up out of the water. For now, she could soak and forget about it, your hand curled in hers.
Hange’s eyes popped open. You were still holding her hand.
“What is it—?”
Hange’s voice stuck in her throat when her eyes landed on you. You had a big grin from ear-to-ear, your perfectly white teeth practically glowing against your skin. A deep rose color consumed your cheeks and nose, a fervent blush that was reminiscent of your drunken states.
“U-um,” Hange stammered, blinking rapidly. “Have you been drinking?”
“Depends,” you crooned back. “Are you gonna tell Levi?”
You leaned closer to Hange, your finger tracing invisible circles over her chest. In an incendiary, throaty whisper, you asked, “Hey, Hange. Ever stuck that dick of yours into somebody?”
“C-calm down!” Hange said quickly, her lips twitching with an uncontrollable, awkward smile. “You’re talking crazy right now!”
You laughed, pressing your torso right against Hange’s arms. Hange glanced down at the pair of tits sandwiching her arm, let out a shrill yelp, and unfortunately felt her dick stiffen for you, just like it had done many times in the past.
“I’ve never been fucked by a girl before,” you crooned, hand sliding down Hange’s stomach. “Wonder if it’s better than a man.”
“L-like I said earlier! You should calm down, you know?!”
“Eh?” you asked, the smell of booze wafting from your breath and into Hange’s nose. “Hange, you don’t want to fuck me? Even though you spend so much time staring at my boobs when we’re together?”
“What the—?! You’ve noticed?!”
“Well, you’re not exactly subtle, Hangie. But neither are fifty percent of our comrades.”
“Ah, ah, ah!”
Hange sputtered and tripped across her words when she felt your fingers curl around her hard dick. You were all giggles, stroking your hand up and down Hange’s shaft like it was second nature, and in a loud moan, you said, “You’re so hard, Hange.”
“W-w-wait!” Hange’s breath grew shorter, quicker. “You’re not in your right mind at all right now!”
“Oh, shut up,” you said with an adorable pout. “You’re starting to sound like Levi.”
Hange watched as the impossible happened. You swung your leg over Hange’s lap, grasped Hange’s dick firmly, and lowered your body until you were seated fully on top of it.
“Oh, fuck,” Hange sputtered, her eyes rolling backwards momentarily. Hands awkwardly fumbling around in the air, she said, “You’re tight.”
You giggled again. “Like that?”
“Y-yeah. Of course I do—!”
Hange’s voice rose an octave when you lifted your hips and sat down again. Your pussy was hot and tight around her, and when she looked upwards, she saw your bouncing tits that she adored watching all too much. Your teeth chewed on your lower lip as you continued to rock your hips, and with a gentle touch, you directed Hange’s hands out of the air and onto your waist.
“Wanna touch my boobs?” you asked sweetly, a strand of your damp hair falling between your eyes.
Swallowing hard, Hange nodded avidly.
“Go ahead then. Don’t be so shy, Hangie.”
Gods above, you were too erotic!
“Ah,” you whined when Hange shyly squeezed your breasts. “That feels nice.”
“H-hey,” Hange said, her voice shaky. “I might cum, you know?”
“Mhm. What about it?”
“You just…stuck it in,” Hange gasped. “No condom.”
“I’m not a fan of those. Don’t worry, Levi and Erwin cum in me all the time.”
Hange gawked at you. “I-is that so…?”
You laughed, rolling your eyes. Giving Hange a seductive look, you purred, “Why are you acting like you didn’t know?”
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Hange blurted.
You only laughed in response.
“Levi, Levi! Guess what?”
Your arms tackled around his midsection from behind. Scowling down at his cutting board as he chopped yet another potato to bits, he irritatedly asked, “What?”
“Eh, you’re so pissy today! Are you mad ‘cause I didn’t come home last night?”
Levi hissed, “No. I’m mad because you didn’t tell me you weren’t coming home, I couldn’t find you with Erwin, and you stole a fucking crate of booze from the MPs!”
Chop! Chop! Chop! With each angry smack of his knife against wood, you flinched. You let out a nervous-sounding laugh.
“Well…sorry,” you said. “I was with Hange.”
“Why?” he replied curtly.
“Because I found something great out last night. Hange has a dick!”
“...What?”
Levi stopped chopping, turning his head to look back at you. You looked as stupid as always with that carefree smile of yours, but it didn’t seem like you were lying. Narrowing his eyes, he asked, “Just how much did you drink last night for you to go and think something like that?”
“No, it’s true! I mean, I was kind of drunk but I know a dick when I see one!”
“So Hange has a dick,” Levi said plainly. “And what? She stuck it in you?”
“Three or four times,” you said in a sweet croon. “I told you that Hange likes me, didn’t I?”
“Everyone with a pair of eyes likes you,” Levi grumbled. “Does that mean you gotta go fucking them all?”
“Eh? But you said it was okay for me to fuck the ones I like!”
“Your libido’s even harder for me to handle than I thought. Now you’re fucking girls.”
“Just Hange,” you said. “You act like you’re not curious.”
Levi ignored her, dumping the sliced chunks of potato into a mixing bowl. For a moment, he envisioned you and Hange standing tit to tit, and instantly decided it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
“How big is it?” he asked.
“Always a dick size competition with you, isn’t it? Erwin made you that insecure?”
“I asked you a simple question.”
“Erwin’s got a Titan dick. It’s absurdly huge. Not that I dislike that, but you shouldn’t compare yourself to him.”
“Brat.”
You laughed, resting your chin against his shoulder. Teasing your fingers across his crotch with a light touch, you said, “Hange’s is smaller than yours.”
“Hm.” Levi went back to chopping. “Good to know.”
“You’re so silly. Bigger isn’t always better, you know?”
“I’ve seen your face when he fucks you,” Levi said.
“Well…I stand by my words still. I think you’re the perfect size for me, Levi.”
Your hand slipped under his cotton waistband. He allowed you to stroke him as he continued to handle your dinner, and in an annoyed voice, said, “Go bother someone else. I’m trying to cook for you, idiot.”
“But I wanna bother you,” you purred.
Levi sighed. “I let you have a boyfriend and girlfriend and you’re still playing with my dick all the time.”
You laughed, and he gave you a small smile in return.
this is a cross-post of my shortfic girls do it better. if you liked it, please consider leaving a kudos! (˶>⩊<˶) ♡ masterlist | ask | ao3