“Heaven knows not the sinner, but the sin.”
[Percy Jackson x Fem Aphrodite!Reader]
summary: after the war you doubt that your loved ones will find peace in the underworld, but percy comforts you
genre: angst
notes: actually so overwhelmed my stories have been rotting in my drafts… but i had to put this one out bcs i love crying over silena?! barely any use of y/n, or at all
When the day has ended, all you know is to cry. The war is over, and not a single person you love has survived. Michael Yew from the Apollo cabin and Silena Beauregard from the Aphrodite cabin.
You’re too caught up in your sorrows to see the son of Poseidon, his black hair wet from the rain, until he wills himself dry, staring at you as you weep.
“Hey,” he murmurs and you snap your head towards him. A small smile stretches his lips, but you notice it doesn’t reach his eyes.
You frown, acknowledging him holding Silena’s things. Her handkerchief you embroidered, her camp necklace, and a small hair tie — was that all that’s left of her. “Why do you have that?” you accuse, eyes narrowing down at his hands.
He mumbles a soft reply you don’t quite catch.
“What?” you ask again — sharper than he deserves, sharper than you intend.
“I thought you shou- should have it,” Percy stammers, heart heavy as he walks closer to your bed.
You sniffle, standing up from the bunk bed you shared with Silena. Your legs shake but you force yourself to trudge towards him, holding out your pinking hands (from the cold and from clenching them too hard) for him to give the things to you.
He puts them there and hesitates as you make your way back to your bed, burrowing in the sheets with Silena’s things.
“You can go now,” you grumble, body trembling from your will not to cry in front of Percy.
But he doesn’t go, doesn’t move from his spot. Instead, Percy seems to be contemplating the two hardest choices in his life, if he chooses to stay: how will he comfort her? but if he chooses to leave, she’ll just rot in her bed and never leave. Eventually, the choice finds him before his mind can, his feet moving on their own accord.
He ends up at the foot of your bed, sitting down despite not being invited.
“Go away, Percy!” you shout at him, finding it easier to close in on yourself than to seek for help. Ignoring the fact that you’ve helped Percy through his own doubts before.
He shakes his head, his eyebrows knitting together in what you deem to be a ‘pleading’ expression. “Talk to me. Please? You don’t have to shut the world out, not when I’m here,” Percy adds the last part quietly — hesitantly, like he’s not exactly sure if you two are close enough for that kind of reassurance.
A beat of silence overcomes your cabin, maybe two - prolonged. Then, Percy’s met with a weight on him and wet tears down his neck. Your body trembles against his as his arms wrap around you, soothing your back with circles and squiggly shapes.
“There, there. Let it all out. You’re not alone,” Percy whispers comfortingly, his low voice barely disturbing the atmosphere of solemnity.
It takes several minutes — that feel like very long hours — to calm down. But when you do, his warmth is what you first notice. So warm, you’d been freezing to death before he came. Then his strong arms pressing around you, squeezing you — but in a good way.
You sniffle, burying further into the warmth of his neck. “What about Silena? Is she alone?”
The question makes Percy chew on his lip. He didn’t know what to say, he’d been to the Underworld, he’d seen the different places you’d go to. But he wasn’t entirely sure if what Clarisse had been saying — prior to coming back to camp — was true. Silena had died a hero, but was that enough to get into Elysium?
Nevertheless, he doesn’t want to have you spiraling into another cry session. That’s not what you need, what you needed was plenty of water and sleep. “I’m sure she isn’t,” Percy soothes, brushing his fingers through your hair. “She’s probably with Beckendorf, finally reunited, yeah?”
You sniffle, sitting upright and wiping your nose on your shirt. “Right… right, yeah,” you concede.
“She’s probably having a good time with the other heroes. Playing that game she likes so much, what was it?” Percy urges, trying to cheer you up.
Which works anyway, you giggle quietly, lifting your head to gaze at the board game on your nightstand. “Scrabble. She loved playing themed rounds. I bet her favorite was ‘terms used in Legally Blonde’,” you recall, smiling at the fond memory. “She was always making me play, it was annoying…. I wish I could play with her again.”
“If you play it with other people it’ll be like playing with her, isn’t it? Or honoring her memory,” Percy suggests.
That thought will help you sleep at night, that and her being with Charlie. It might not be the life you always pictured for her, but at least then, she’s happy. Even if that’s not with you.
extra note: honestly i don’t usually do this… but am i just neurodivergent or do my words actually make sense 😭????? moving on -> i took a super long hiatus, i apologize 😚🔫 gun to my head, i am trying to get my drafts out (i have an ungodly amount 💀). ALSO TRUST ME SILENA LOVES SCRABBLE. last note, can you tell i love angst☺️ but can’t write it properly for the death of me… (did not know how to end this! i panicked!)
