a piece of advice
So, a very, very long time ago I had dated someone (a woman not worth mentioning due to my complete disgust of this individual) [of whom] I had believed was a trustworthy person.
I am going to use a piece of my life (a painful piece, mind you) in order to help heal a greater distress within the consciousness of humanity (as a whole) because I am so fucking tired of people putting up with bullshit when they should be living a quality life. And I am tired of other people giving people bullshit on purpose just because they’re trying to have some form of bullshit dominance over others.
So, I dated someone else, in fact I’ve dated a good amount of women in my life. I don’t enjoy talking about it because of my own personal reasons, but again, I’m working towards a point here..
..there was a time in my life when Kim & I were not together (after having dated already), and even though I’d prefer to not talk about this aspect of my life because it’s so personal - I’m going to use a part of my life to help heal or inspire anyone who needs to read what I have to say..
So, a long fucking time ago I dated an asshole. This woman is an asshole because she was older than me (prepping to be a Doctor, in fact: Molecular & Microbiology; helped that bitch study with her college courses as a medical student back when I was a marching band kid in high school; not kidding; I met her in marching band; she was a Senior when I was a Freshman).
Anyway.. So, I dated a TOTAL ASSHOLE who shall rename nameless due to my personal disgust & complete distaste for this individual.. So, I was constantly being told by this UGLY BITCH that I had to work on my behavior.. In fact, I was in a constant state of having to work on my behavior because I thought I was doing the right thing for our “relationship” (more like a masochistic experiment). I thought, ‘hey, we share the same values on a political, social, and overall ideological level’ to the point that it was something I was going to try to put some effort into because I held the belief that there was something worth having there (I was WRONG. TOTALLY WRONG).
So, having learned through countless “on & off” again dating cycles with this STUPID, UGLY, MONGROL-LOOKIN’, DUMB BITCH (who shall rename nameless), I had naturally put effort into my own life just for my own personal integrity because I still do believe that life is a series of lessons that we must learn and grow into our better selves with, especially if we are ever going to have a fulfilling existence in this world.
I listened and decided that I would “improve myself”, this was something I had already been doing in my life in general (because of ANOTHER fucked up aspect of my life at the time), which still leads me back to the importance of self improvement for the sake of yourself.
Improving for someone else and improving for yourself are two different things. Improving for yourself AND someone else - now that is special.
So, back to dating a STUPID, UGLY, DUMB, IDIOT BITCH.. back to that..
..I had known this woman for YEARS and thought there was a significant connection made there and this person was NOT a psychotic, two-faced, lying sack of donkey shit. (I usually try to stay away from donkey shit. That’s a Must. I prefer to have a donkey-shit-free existence, if at all possible. I hope you can understand.)
After multiple efforts to “work it out” with this BITCH in various emotionally-manipulative obstacle courses (constructed by her), something changed one day..
After I put in years and years of effort to improve myself at the DEMAND of this BITCH (that I had known since we were both in high school), I had finally experienced behaviors from HER that I confronted her about (in private).
I had to make the mature effort to confront her about her own behaviors that I believed SHE needed to improve. This was the FIRST time I had EVER asked (not TOLD, ASKED - something SHE never fucking did because she was a controlling PIG) her to improve something about her behavior.
(I’m talking about someone who is super liberal, super-feministic, self-proclaimed world-changing individual who is “fighting the good fight” just like every other liberal - by the way this is not about liberal or conservative - I’m just trying to paint a brief idea of the type of overall vibe of this controlling, insensitive, stupid, dumb, ugly, & manipulative bitch)
I dated this woman (on & off) for years, and I put in the necessary effort to improve myself because of her feedback of my behavior (since we were teenagers). I applied the necessary effort to grow as an individual.
When the time came that I finally approached her because there was something about her behavior that I did not appreciate (in fact, I just downright disliked it) and I asked if she could change her behavior - She said “No.”
I reminded her that I had changed for her (after years of her feedback), and I was shocked that she was not willing to change ONE aspect of her behavior that I did not think was right.
She said, “No.. I can’t do that.”, as she shook her head (with all seriousness).
So, after I had put in YEARS of self-improvement at the behest of this DUMB & UGLY-ASS BITCH - She had the fucking audacity to tell me “No” when I approached her FOR THE FIRST TIME ABOUT SOMETHING ABOUT HER BEHAVIOR THAT I DID NOT LIKE.
The point is this: You can put as much blind faith & LOVE into something. You can think it’s the best thing in the world. You can think that you’re all set and you don’t have to worry about anyone looking out for you..
..but it won’t be until you catch this person listening to you talking on the phone while standing outside of your bedroom window (outside of your home) in order to spy on you without you knowing..
..it won’t be until you find out that this person had the opportunity to reconnect you with old friends, but they decided not to do that because maybe that friend was going to get in their way of their happiness.. so they lie to you, and they lie to your friend, and conceal from you that someone said “Hi” to you, because they preferred to keep a secret and just not say anything at all about your friend even knowing you’re inside your home, and could have easily gotten you to come out and say “Hi”, but didn’t..because it worked out better for her to keep your friend a secret from you, and you a secret from her…
..it won’t be until this person is spying on everyone you are talking to online (while watching their online status) while she is driving you home simultaneously. And she smiles as the people who are trying to talk to you (while waiting for you) online finally go offline, and she is driving you slowly to your house to make sure that you do not get to talk to anyone online at all..because she is trying to keep you all to herself and does not want you to interact with anyone else who might be considered a threat to her hidden agenda..
..it won’t be until you realize that this person does not have your best interest at heart, because they secretly despise the fact that they need you more than you need them..
It won’t be until THEN that you will realize that you must stop all contact with that person..because she is nothing but a selfish, manipulative, stupid, secretive, lying, UGLY DUMB BITCH. You must stop all forms of communication with someone like this, just as I had to do in my own life - even if it costs you pretty much all of your friends and overall social circle (or even your personal safety because of how sick this person truly is underneath her facade).
If you’re like me, you’d get the fuck out of there and never look back. People like that don’t deserve your time. They don’t deserve mine. So, why waste your time on folks like that?
You see, the world is full of a lot of different people who are all capable of doing many things - especially when it comes to things like love.. or war.
So, be careful with who you put your faith into, and your love, and your time in your life - because you might realize that they might not be willing to put the same amount of effort into your commitment as you have put forth (even though they were never fucking worth it in the first place).
On a personal note: Please do not ask me about my life. I don’t want to talk about every part of it. I’ll talk about what I think is worth mentioning (if and when I do). This post is not so much about me as much as it’s about the connections people are making worldwide. I just want to see this world get better and I’m tired of seeing people get taken advantage of by ASSHOLES WHO DON’T DESERVE THEIR TIME.
I pray to God that my personal pain can provide some form of healing for someone else (and perhaps, a sign that they might need to leave that person or situation and move on in their life the way that I did, too - if it's all-too-relevant).
My wife (Kim) & I did not come out of a bottle this way. We had to navigate through quite the journey to reconnect in our lives. More importantly, if you’re going to give your time & energy & love to anyone - make sure they are worth it.
(I’m talking about republicans..I don’t have time for you to read between the lines. I’M TRYING TO GET THROUGH TO REPUBLICANS. STOP LAUGHING. I HAVE TO BE BLATANT BECAUSE PEOPLE JUST DON’T PUT THE EFFORT FORTH ON THIS SHIT SO THERE YA GO. I’M TALKING ABOUT REPUBLICANS. THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT NEXT TIME YOU THINK ABOUT WHETHER THE PERSON YOU’RE PUTTING YOUR FAITH INTO IS ACTUALLY GOING TO PUT THAT FAITH BACK INTO YOU, TOO.)
More power to anyone this might help in the future (if at all). Some of the toughest decisions you’ll make in life will require a great deal of thought & contemplation (especially if you have to leave a path that you once believed in with your whole heart). I took control of my life and I took a leap of faith and never looked back and it was probably the most crucial decision I ever had to make, but if I never took that leap I would not be the person that I am today. I chose love over fear and I never looked back. I was not afraid to leave what my life was at that time in order to find my life anew. I had to make the necessary breakthrough in order to end the vicious cycle of misery. I decided to throw caution to the wind and leave it all behind in order to be with the one that I truly love. Instead of spending my time with someone who claimed to be my “best friend” (because “crazy-ex-psycho-dumb-bitch-who-is-crazy-clingy” was too obvious), I decided to remove that crazy asshole from my life (with the quickness) because Kim came back into my life and I was single at the time anyway so it seemed that fate had finally caught up with us all.
I pray that anyone else who is too afraid to make that leap will go for it because you might learn something about yourself and the world we live in if you just take a try and go for it. As long as you’re not harming yourself or others - Take a leap of faith in your own life. Choose love instead of fear. Choose love.
(And don’t be a super-clingy-crazy-psycho-dumb-bitch-asshole.. that helps, too)
