It's been a full year since it happened. It was around this time that I got the call that made me check and see what happened. To see if someone could tell me what had been going on. I saw I had two messages on facebook, one from Deepika and one from Ms. Kidle. Deeps was a little more cryptic, asking if I heard what had happened, but Ms. Kidle's really hit home.
I found out you had died on facebook. Facebook.
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Vishnu: is this true about Chip Switzer? I'm sitting here completely in shock.
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That's when I started to realize what had happened. I was in utter disbelief. There was no way anything could have happened to you of all people right?
You texted me the week before. Completely out of the blue. About your philosophies on love.
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“There is a madness to love, but there is a method to madness, so does that mean there is a method to love?”
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I didn't know how to react. First Nathan, then Erica, and suddenly, 6 months later, it was you. I couldn't believe it. I went and shot baskets with Peter and Mao Mao and then met Ashleigh. Everything just sort of melted away in the emotional rawness of what had happened.
Next thing I knew, Bre Murphy contacted me saying that she had this idea and that I should meet her in Cadena's room. Within two days we had a bunch of pictures, two letters and a slideshow with your music to send to your family for the funeral.
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I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to push for the benefit concert. The idea was there, but we just couldn't get a big enough group of people behind it to put it together. Regardless, I could have done more and I feel awful that I didn't. It was the first time that I saw a split in my fraternity though, so I guess I should thank you for that. They're good people, they're just all trying to find themselves too I guess.
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It's strange to think that you would have been coming back this summer from Germany and we would have been hanging out and talking about life and love and loss and everything if you were still here. Instead, I'm sitting in a hotel room in New York with my critical brother listening to him tell me to stop being stupid and make a decision about what I want to do now.
I just can't tell him that I'm writing this though. I don't think he'd understand.
You were someone I always looked to for guidance and encouragement, Chip. You always made me feel like no matter what else was happening, things were gonna end up ok. After you passed, it took me a long time to get that feeling back again, but I'm there now, at least most of the time.
You taught me so much. And I really do feel incredibly blessed to have been able to know you. If I am ever able to make the impact I want in the world, you should know that I'll be carrying you with me wherever I go.
I love you, man. And even though the pain seems to be gone, I miss you every day.
