Hi Emily, I really hope this is okay to ask, I find your blog very helpful and would appreciate your insight a lot if you feel comfortable with answering. I feel very much alone in this because even when I had Catholic friends back in high school (I went to a Catholic private school), no one in my group of friends had a Catholic upbringing as strict as mine. Most of the people in my school were just there due to being "rich kids" tbh, none of them really had Catholicism ingrained in them outside of school, and they still got to enjoy stuff like Halloween, rock music, and fantasy books, while those are considered "sins" by my mom.
Anyway, the main point of my question is how do you deal with Holy Week? I had been trying to privately practice "anti-Lent" this year but I find that once it actually gets to Holy Week, things get HORRIBLE for me.
I still live with my mom who's very Catholic, she already gave me a hard time on Palm Sunday, but the day I'm really afraid of is Good Friday since she always gets extremely unstable during Good Friday (crying, talking about demons being in our house, making sure that everyone around her is mourning properly, etc.) and there's no real way for me to leave. I just have a bad feeling that this year is going to be even worse compared to previous years (we currently have some bad stuff going on in our family, like illness, conflicts with other family members, and just generally a lot of day-to-day annoyances that of course are always the fault of 'demons' which she blames on me supposedly 'inviting' into our home). She has been really out of touch with reality lately, even before Holy Week started, I won't go into everything she says, but she is having hallucinations related to demonic entities 'invading' our home and doesn't want to seek help because she "trusts God, not humans." I'm sorry this might sound like a heavy topic but I really need advice from someone who understands what this is like. Do you have any coping tips you could share since I really don't have a support system? Or at least some reassurance that I'm not the only one with trauma surrounding Holy Week, and in particular the day of Good Friday? Thank you so much, take care.
Thank you for your ask. I'm sorry for the delay - this ask got buried and then I had a lot of personal/work stuff come up as well.
You are welcome to DM me if you want to talk more.
In terms of coping without an irl support system, I would recommend looking for community online - Facebook, Discord, etc. These things were helpful to me during my deconstruction.
This sounds like a really challenging situation, and I'm sorry that you're experiencing this.
You are absolutely not alone. Even 5 years out of the church and living away from my family, Holy Week can still trigger me intensely.
I am lucky that I have friends and some family who understand and that I can talk to about it. And when the religious trauma really hits, I go on here or in some of my Facebook groups to remind myself I'm not alone, I blast music, and I write.
Please take care of yourself and like I said don't hesitate to DM me if you want to.
