#apostello

[prayercare]

Peace

"Jesus, as Your 'sent forth one' (apostello), Your peace to people through me. In Jesus name. Amen.”

[verlossen]

time to bid furwell.

“stay down, you stupid dog!” shin scolds, struggling to hold mickey down. his hands are pretty small compared to the corgi puppy that is as large as his arm, so it takes him both hands to be able to pin down the dog. it writhes against the cutting mat that shin sneaked from mrs. yoon’s art class, its tiny legs scuffling desperately.

he didn’t think it’d be this ruff when he saw the movie last weekend -- the kind that airs late into the night... and also probably unsuitable for children’s viewing. but shin is nine years old! heck, he even knows how to subtract improper fractions. although, his second grade english wasn’t exactly enough for him to understand what the actors were saying.

he was picking his brain trying to remember what ‘empty’ meant when the props caught his attention. it was of two birds frozen in motion. the movie was in black and white, but it only added to the beauty and intrigue. they looked so real it seemed as if someone could just press a play button and their wings would start flapping. the following scene magnified his awe when a huge owl with its majestic wings outstretched was shown hanging on the wall in the background. of course, shin knew nothing about taxidermied animals, but he wanted one for his own. where better to begin than with their pet puppy?

mickey was given to shin and jae shortly after the latter joined the family. shin's mother knew that her son wasn't exactly the most fun of company and didn't want jae distracting his studies, so she thought a cute little dog should easily pacify seven year old jae.

and so here we are, with shin trying to make a stuffed toy out of their pet. the dog is forced to lie on its back with shin’s grip firm on its little hind leg. he gives its stomach a tentative poke with the paring knife he stole from the kitchen, and it only gets more flustered, body twisting in an attempt to roll away.

shin decides he’s had enough of its pawthetic whining. in a swift motion, he pierces the knife right into the center of its torso, drawing it back out within a second. blood spills from the wound but unfurtunately, the little son of a bitch just wails in pain. it’s supposed to be dead, not crying. with a frustrated groan, shin just stabs again at a higher spot so that it’ll be pawsible for him to make a clean line with the previous wound when he makes a larger incision later. mickey’s movements finally cease as life drains out of its pawdy, the noises fading out.

the flowing blood grows into a puddle on the mat and slowly spreads towards the table. shin rushes to grab his towel to surround the puppy with it so the blood will soak up. now that everything is ready, he begins slicing open the torso. the tip of his tongue peeks out as he focuses on cutting a straight line down.

if you can’t already tell, everything he’s doing here is based on his common sense. pardon him for being ignorant, but what's a kid to do when his elementary school didn't own the most extensive of libraries to educate their students on taxidermy. ( they did, however, have one of those arts and crafts books teaching you how to make faux, cartoonish animal mounts out of stuffed toys. not exactly what he was looking for. ) whatevfur, it's not like he needs any books to tell him to cut open an animal and stuff it with cotton anyway.

an hour later, his table is a mess of blood and guts and crafting tools. his hands are bloodied, as is his shirt. bits of doggie innards are scattered all over even though most of it has already been discarded into the bin. he gets startled when jae yells to announce that he’s home like always does. shin panics for a split second but then a shit-eating grin creeps onto his lips.

“jae, come into my room! look what i’m doing!” he gets up from his seat with the entrails -- still connected to the dog -- held in his hands like it’s some sort of christmas lights. since he failed to kill jae, he’s just going to scar him furever.

[verlossen]

[txt] good morning!（*´▽｀*）i hope yuo slept well!!! you looked like a dead log so i asume you did [txt] foods on the counter you just need too heat it up [txt] i went out for a lil errand ill bee back home in 1 hour (￣▽￣)ノ dont burn down the huose whale im gone

it’s always a physical pain to read through his brother’s messages. no fully grown man should text the way jae does. shin is sure he does it on purpose; if he can’t be killed, he might as well be tortured. and tortured he is. with an internal sigh, he deletes the texts so he’ll never have to see that absurd spelling again.

leftover of last night’s pasta covered with cling-wrap sits on the kitchen counter. he goes to take the plate and heads out of his house with his pair of keys, towards jae’s apartment next door. it’s a short stroll to the bedroom before he unwraps the plastic and pours the tomato sauced noodles onto the bed in a messy blob. he brings the plate back home and leaves it in the sink for jae to wash.

breakfast ends up being a spinach and feta sandwich from starbucks.

[neraide-blog]

“There is no fulfillment that is not made sweeter for the prolonging of desire”

  saying just that mistakes were made would be an understatement. and mistakes do happen. erratum humanum est. normal people just try to learn from it, move on and try desperately to forget about it until the next time they have that one drink too much.

but what do smart people do? they try to make the best out of it.

and so it begins, a game of cat and mouse where the mouse is more than willing and the cat doesn’t want all the fun to stop yet. and where both fight to be the cat this one time. a perfect vicious circle where lust meets greed on semi equal ground.

scratch my back and i’ll scratch yours. a mutually beneficial arrangement is so often overlooked in this world where people just want more and more. but a bit of effort, a small sacrifice and you might win even more.

give and you shall receive.

it's as simple as that

but who’d knew that when you coax the worst out of each other that’s when you’d be the most true to yourself.

                                                      give & take

                                                     jae & hani

                                                      LISTEN

[neraide-blog]

@apostello

she slammed the door of the center behind her- her anger getting the best of her, and if her mind wasn’t so consumed in thoughts right now, she’d be grateful that the place is empty in the dead of the night with no one to see her facade crack. reaching for the light switch, she banged her elbow against the coat rack

            “fuck!”

she let the uncharacteristic swear escape her as she kicked the wall before finally switching the lights on; hoping that immersing herself in her work and some goddamn peace and quiet might make this whole mess go away

[verlossen]

                                                              incarnos  &  apostello                             FAMILY THAT SLEEPS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER.

「  ► LISTEN  」 a heart-warming playlist about two brothers bound to move you to tears.

1.  lil b - pretty bitch             jae’s vanity, part i 

2.  ludacris - move bitch [ hedegaard remix ]             jae’s vanity, part ii: shin’s disregard

3.  florence and the machine - kiss with a fist             how else would jae shut up?

4.  godsmack - crying like a bitch             jae’s vanity, part iii: shin’s distress             “fuck, he’s noisier than ever.”

5.  aiden - die die my darling             favorite pastimes: chilling at the park, fucking, attempting to kill each other

6.  ariana grande - love me harder [ feat. the weeknd ]             all jae needs is a harder slap

7.  kosheen - cruelty             “it’s not abuse if it’s to animals.”

8.  yoko kanno - von  [ feat. arnór dan ]             shout out to zankyou no terror for drawing inspiration             from shinjae for twelve and nine

9.  yuna - mountains             place jae in the corner ( inside shin’s room )             so that he’ll remember ( to be a good dog )

10.  muse - the handler             a song about the illuminati that is oddly fitting for shinjae

11.  green day - dominated love slave             their official theme song 

12.  the good natured - your body is a machine             jae only whines and complains to hide how masochistic he truly is

13.  static lullaby - toxic [ rock cover ]             ... as stated above

14.  the prodigy - medicine              shinjae’s love bombing technique

                                                       RELATIONSHIP ANALYSIS:

shin was twelve when jae joined the nam family. they bickered daily over the smallest things and vied for their mother’s attention. ( although it was obvious mother doted on shin more, jae got a kick out of annoying shin with every single moment of attention he got from her. ) months later, shin was caught red-handed trying to kill his foster brother in his sleep. sleepy-eyed jae was greeted by the sight of shin in his over-sized rose silk pyjamas holding a huge kitchen knife over him. and that failed attempt set the course of their relationship -- with jae constantly trying to kill shin in return and shin ( barely ) putting up with jae’s shit.

as hormonal changes amplified through their adolescence, a new aspect was introduced into their relationship: sex. perhaps it was curiosity and impulsiveness that fueled their gradual exploration of each others’ bodies, but it grew into something else entirely as time passed. after all, everything is about sex except sex -- sex is about power; and that accurately depicts each time that their warm breaths met and skins slapped. it’s an assertion of dominance and display in authority that not only resided behind their bedroom doors, but resonated throughout their relationship and reaffirmed the basis of it.

but the incest does not rule nor define their relationship -- the dynamics and toxicity of it does. 'pillar of support’ may be too mild and innocuous a phrase to use to describe them, because the extent of how much they need each other borders on unhealthy, even if it may not appear like it. since submission has been instilled into jae for a long term, a side-effect has occurred -- over-dependency. despite shin’s constant abuse of jae, there is an unspoken need and affection they have for and require from each other. jae has been a companion for shin since young, and his taking care of shin’s needs has aided in the development of a unique sense of trust between them.

there is no one they trust more than themselves and each other at this point, especially since trust is a rare commodity for the two. unlike a relationship between lovers, their brotherly streak of the relationship has taken away the need for sensitivity to the other’s feelings. there is nothing they cannot share or say to each other -- no filters are needed. while that extent of trust is admirable, that is partly what makes the relationship unhealthy. hurtful words are thrown without regret, actions are done without the thought of consequences -- all that cumulative hurt can lead to an eventual destruction of themselves.

but even then, at least they have each other to destruct with.

[neraide-blog]

apostello

     hani knocked slightly on the open door, leaning against the door frame as she held her bag, ready to leave the center as the clock was nearing noon.

     “ it’s a little slow today so i am leaving for lunch early. can i get you anything vice-president? ”

     she asked professionally, her game face on, small fake smile on her face hoping she could maybe get him to tag along with her and let something slip. he definitely was the less bright of the two brothers after all; and by far the most talkative as well.

[neraide-blog]

▽

mun questions (not accepting) : ▽ Why did you create this muse?

[ after yet another crumbling closed rp group; my dear hydriade got me to come over to krp indie (new thing for me). i decided i might as well use my ultimate bias as fc. but i’ve always hated playing a character in the way the fc is often portrayed/perceived. it’s not as fun and also a bit common/unoriginal?

i also felt that ‘the sociopath’ was a character trope i had never explored yet and i thought it would make an interesting addition to using hani as a fc- as well as a bit less common type of female character. ruthless, unethical, unloving corporate warrior ftw c:

i don’t have a backstory set up yet aside from the stats so i’m still leaving room for improvements and details; but the main ideas for her were set from the get go. ]