#april notes

[kentocalls]

Fyi - out for the week. Yapping will resume next Wednesday

[hunnynectarine]

Sometimes I wonder what he saw in me that nobody else did before xx

[hunnynectarine]

Must’ve committed a few too many sins in the past life based on how much I’ve been crying lately xx

Good emotional release tho 🥰

[hunnynectarine]

Returning back from a long haul holiday. Cleaning up the messes next day from a party the day before. Disassociating in your bedroom at the early hours of 1am. It feels almost malicious but I know it’s because I’m rather unfamiliar to it. I’m reminded everyday to stay detached but like a lost girl I leave crumbs behind. It’s funny how your own home can become a stranger to you.

I’m not sure when I started to feel this way. Mayhaps I’ve been suppressing it for a while x

[hunnynectarine]

istg electro music was made for people to drown out their sadness, you can’t convince me otherwise !

[brambled]

lately, of note: 

MV & i booked a belated honeymoon for june. staying in my aunt & uncle’s apartment in paris while they’re visiting my uncle’s family in portugal. we’ll fly into berlin a few days prior to spend some time in my beloved deutschland. on our way home, we have an overnight layover in vienna, which we’ll use to fulfill my sappy ass dream of recreating before sunrise. 

to help fund this, i’ve picked up a second job as an afternoon teacher at a children’s learning center. it is not my calling, but i’m grateful to be doing something new.

i’ve quit smoking & started running. i don’t predict a perfect record for either but i feel uncharacteristically pragmatic about both. it feels good to be in pain. it feels good to breathe. 

once i’m done teaching (university) for the semester, i think i’m going to go to morning mass at the little cathedral down the street. mostly i’m writing this here as a reminder to myself. 

[quiteblunt]

This past weekend has to be my most favorite weekend in my life. I spent it with my close friends, bunch of smoke, amazing music, fun carnival rides and food, fantastic music, psychedelics, giant jenga, singing, and watching the best movies of all time. This weekend was such an eye opener and so uplifting. I've met so many different people and have felt so belonging. 

I feel so blessed for being this happy. Everyday seems like a new and fresh day. Everyday is so different, yet still the same. I laugh at the top of my lungs every morning and throughout the day until I finally close my eyes.

I am happy.

[camelights-blog]

The December in April, Two

I smoke to remember you. The blazen' cherry and paper cindering away, taking my time from me. So many six minute deaths. 

(Like no cancer could be.)