There’s a wave of sadness as she looked at the letters. It started out as one and then two, and just kept multiplying more and more and more and more until she was almost positive she was standing knee deep in letters from her brothers. She couldn’t bring herself to look at them because knowing what she had wrote them, she was afraid of what she’d see. What if they hated her? What if they loved her? What if they never wanted to see her again? Her hand flicked and flames rose but the letters didn’t burn. “God damn it!”
Our third task is one about relationships and truth. Your muse is tasked with writing a letter to another bearing their souls to them. The letters could be addressed to another muse in the rp, an NPC or most anyone. The letters will never get out, never be shown, but don’t you know? Writing down your feelings, putting them into words.... it’s far more revealing to yourself then would one think.
Rules:
The task isn’t mandatory, but highly encouraged. Plus it’d be fun to really dig into that deep emotional place.
It could be addressed to truly anyone, another muse in the rp, a NPC or even from your muse to themselves (cause that could be a bit fun and wacky and also angsty).
Please like this post once you’ve read it! And if you have anymore questions please contact main, and most importantly of all, have a fun time with it!
DO YOU REMEMBER STEFAN? extremely good looking, though as bland as iceberg lettuce, and someone you puppeteered for a couple days until he escaped you like everyone else does. well, i have decided to try out some of his methods; writing, for instance. evidently, it is a hobby only those in nursing homes can enjoy, but for once, i will humor myself. i know you might take this into consideration as hate mail, but truthfully, you should be elated i am sparing a little bit of my valuable time for you. i have heard that it’s good to get things off one’s chest and i am so looking forward to the zen lifestyle, but without the yoga pants.
I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO, YOU WERE MY FRIEND. we grew up together, standing by each other’s side at all times, tolerating all of our weaknesses and sides we did not want anyone else to see. the reason why i agreed to marry you was convenience. if we could merge the power of two best witches, it would have been foolish to reject it. however, just like you fell in love with me, i developed feelings for someone else. the moment my eyes fell upon her, i knew i had to spend my eternity with her and i was more than willing to sacrifice our friendship for it. i betrayed you. it did not sound that big of a deal to me — any potential guilt would have evaporated over the years and you would have moved on.
YOU COULD NOT HANDLE IT. like any other normal person, instead of throwing a vase at me or spitting in my face, you made me believe that you had ripped out my soulmate’s heart. then, you proceeded to torture me and my love for over two millenniums because you held a grudge. i must admit — it is the epitome of drama. i would have even applauded it if i weren’t the one in those shoes.
I WISH I COULD TELL YOU I AM NOT A MAN OF REVENGE. i really do, but guess what? that’s exactly who i am. i know you died with fear that i would somehow overcome the obstacles and find my way to reunite with amara, and there is no greater joy in anything than telling you that your petty plan that you carefully crafted for a little too long did not work out. it is a shame, isn’t it? don’t worry, i know how it feels, so, i will not overindulge. that wouldn’t be so noble of me, and like i said, i am trying to pave a better path. for amara. i am also a little ashamed to admit that i am no longer in such extraordinary shape now that my immortality is lost, which is why i really should not pick fights anymore, but hey, you are dead. i will trust you to take this secret to your grave.
IN CASE YOU ARE CURIOUS, as i am sure you are, amara and i are back together. while it is a little bit annoying to see a dozen dollar store versions of us roaming the earth, it also confirms that our love was fate. i know you are a woman of romance, therefore, i am a little hurt you tried to come in between something like this, but i totally get it. it is difficult to share someone like me. maybe one day you will come across a similar thing, although, i would not wish that upon my greatest enemy. monster or not, even i am not that evil.
I HOPE ALL IS WELL. as well as a rotting body and heart can have.
best regards,
SILAS.
P.S. this was kind of fun. maybe i will make it a weekly thing!
I was going to write you and our sister this one letter. You know, get everything out. I thought it’d be productive and we’d all bond or something. But then I thought about how you didn’t seem the types to share. And I didn’t want to fuck up. So, this is yours.
I didn’t know if it was alright to call you Will, or if you were more of a Wlliam guy. But I don’t feel like I know much of anything anymore, so Will. I hope that’s okay.
You’ve got to understand that I spent my whole childhood wanting a brother. Wanting to grow up with you, actually. Even with all the stories mom told. I didn’t know what to make of them, or me being left to the Harvey’s and you left to mom and dad. I was naive I guess. About the reality of having you as a twin. And then I met you and there was that incident and it freaked me out, man. Honestly, freaked me out. And I was telling this person about it, a person I really trust. And she was freaked out. And she’s always been freaked out because we always protected each other. And then I remembered mom for a second, protecting me like that. Telling me in every way but actual conversation that she didn’t want that for me. I always guessed she struck a deal, but I never asked why.
Ignorance or innocence or whatever, I didn’t ask. And I’m sorry. Because I should’ve. And I should’ve asked more about the good parts. Where it was good for you, where we were still twins. Even though she never told me your name. I never asked for that either. I never pushed because when the cards fell, I didn’t want something to tip the scales and we’d get each other’s lives. Because I liked my life, and I didn’t want it to change. I didn’t want to do what you do. I still don’t.
Jesus, Will, you’ve killed people. A lot of people. And I don’t know what you do to sleep at night with all of that. Maybe you don’t think about it, like I try not to think about all of the shit like this that I’m hiding from the people I care about. Do you even sleep, man? Or do you just compartmentalise it and rationalise it all? That if you’d grown up like me, you wouldn’t have done any of that. Sometimes I think about if we’d grown up together when I can’t sleep.
And what that would’ve meant. And I wish I had a clearer picture. I wish I had something better to tell you. But the things that you’ve done scare the crap out of me. Because I know you could do them to me, or our sister, or our half brother. Or anyone I care about. I’m not saying you would, I’m just saying you could. And sometimes that possibility is enough. And then I wonder if you have done it before. And then I can’t fucking think about that anymore because it’ll drive me insane.
Then I think about what if I could do it? What if you’re corrupting or coercive or one time it’s just self defence? That’s what scares me the most. That our blood’ll make me a killer. That it’ll just be hereditary because being around you activates something really fucked up in me. And I can’t live with myself if I have to look in the mirror and see a killer. I can’t take it.
Because I’d obsess over it. In eleventh grade, in my English Lit class, we talked about this book called Macbeth. It’s a long story but basically someone gets murdered and then Lady Macbeth starts to obsess. They both do. Hallucinating that she hasn’t washed the blood off her hands and that they’re stained. That everyone can tell and she deserves this. I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life than I was sitting in second period English and listening to all the ways murder can make you unrecognisable to yourself.
I think he dies at the end. I don’t really remember. I guess I blocked the rest of it out so I didn’t turn myself in Macbeth. Or I didn’t make you into some twisted version that hallucinated the kill and not the guilt. My teacher said something about that.
And yeah, I wish I had the balls to say all of this to you in person. But I’m really confused about all of this. And I wanted a family, I wanted a twin, and now I’ve got one. And I feel guilty thinking about how we might never get to a place where I call you my brother and you call me yours without this weird ‘yeah, we’re related’ air over it. And I also feel guilty for how scared at least I am about the stories mom used to tell and everything on top of it. And I know that some part of you’s good. I believe that with everything. Mom thought so and I saw some of it. And I wish that was enough. That glimmer of something that could turn your morality on it’s axis and turn my perception on it’s own.
But I can’t help it. I’m scared shitless.
I guess that’s it. I’m sorry.
With regret,
Max
I hope this letter finds you well wherever you are now, I was at peace and now I’m not. I don’t know what’s happening, but I know one thing for sure, I am a vampire again. How was this possible? I was human when I sacrificed myself, someone out there has a sick sense of humor to bring me back as this thing again.
I’m sorry we go such a long time without seeing one another, we both know that it’s for the best, the distance and last time I visited things hadn’t exactly panned out all that well.
lost myself, seventeen, then you came, found me. no other magic could ever compare. there's a room in my heart with the memories we made. took 'em down but they're still in their frames. never not. lauv.
i thought i could serve you. i thought i would never look at you with disgust or fear. i thought the love i held in my heart would never dissipate. the gods know how wrong i was to believe you were different than the others. i was just another servant to you. a mere mortal girl you could use and discard. promises, i know now, were meant to be broken. my promise to you was broken the moment you instead of smiting my attacker, turned me into a monster to cover up the horrible thing that happened in your temple walls. you so selfishly only saw broken vases and claw marks on that merman. you didn’t see what they truly were. you didn’t see that i fought for my life, for my innocence. maybe you did. maybe you turned a blind eye instead so you didn’t have to offer comfort or start a war with your brother. you didn’t see the vases were used as weapons just as his fists had been. you saw my scratches on his face and arms but you didn’t see the dress you gave me in tatters from his brutal hands. you saw me not as the victim i was but instead wrote me as the perpetrator. you cursed me with snakes for hair. was it so no man would ever look at me that way again? was it to remind me of how cruel the world can truly be? that no matter what happened, you’d take the sides of all those who harmed and wrong? you are the goddess of war but i pray to the god of war now. wrath, rage, vengeance -- i will not fade away. i will not shudder. i will not bend my soul for anyone like i did for you ever again. i will survive. will you?
I already know what you’re thinking. You think I’ve finally come to my senses and want to apologise for following Josie around like a lost puppy and torturing you at every turn. You think I’ve come to grovel for your forgiveness while I tell you how much I regret every evil thing I’ve done.
And you’d be right, Partially.
Here’s the thing, Lizzie. I don’t think you’re a bad person. I think you do stupid, selfish, obnoxious things, and I hate the way you treat Josie like she’s your personal doormat. But I don’t think you’re a bad person. Because I’m stupid, and selfish, and obnoxious too.
I’ve always been selfish when it comes to Josie, and I know you’ve never had to share her before. And I know that’s why I felt like I was in love with a person who always chose someone else. And I know that’s Josie’s fault too. For allowing herself to be walked all over by you. But it wouldn’t be happening if you stopped for one second and thought about how she deserves her own life.
You’re frustrating. Because I know you love her. I know that despite everything you do, you love her so much you’d take a bullet for her. Because I would too. Even if she hates me now and even if she would hate me even more for leaving her, she deserves a life.
Now, because I know who you are, I also know you’ve noticed I’ve been comparing us a lot. And I would tell you why, but I think you’ve already figured that out.
We’re the same, Lizzie. We both hate anyone who hates Josie so we’ve just chosen to hate each other. And sometimes, I wish that wasn’t true. I wish I could tell Josie that we had a meaningful conversation or that the price of losing her isn’t worth hating you. But she’d probably think I was possessed. I think you would too.
I’m not going to apologise for everything I’ve tried to do to make Josie fight for herself. But I am going to apologise for not being honest with you. I wrote Josie one of these too, I told her that I love her and that I’m sorry she doesn’t know that. So, I’m sorry, Lizzie. I’m sorry for all the evil and selfish things I’ve done hoping Josie would realise I just wanted her to stay. I’m sorry I didn’t used to realise you love her too, and I’m sorry I thought you were evil. Maybe one day, I’ll actually tell you that,
Penelope
I know letter’s a supposed to start with ‘dear’ or whatever but you’re dead so pretty sure that doesn’t apply.
I thought a lot about this and I just-- I don’t get it. I mean I get some of it. Grandfather practically pimped you out and father is scum you had to be wed to and bare children of. I get that part. You gave Max up and you were forced to remain there by his side as a trophy. Or a bargaining chip. Or whatever. Not like Grandfather cared but why did you even try? To love me I mean. I get that I was small and when babies giggle people fawn except you knew. You knew their plan. You didn’t stop it. Didn’t even try. You knew and you did shit except stop loving me the moment it actually started to happen. I was a baby. then I was a toddler. You played with me and you told me you loved me and you read me so many stories. But you also stood by when Grandfather and Father trained me. Brutally, at many points.You didn’t speak out. You didn’t do anything beyond staring and what, hoping? Hoping I wouldn’t do what they drilled into my head when you hadn’t spoken out against it?
When the people who have raised your whole tell you to do something, that its okay to do that thing, and then you do it. How is that your fault? I was so fucking young Mom. They taught me how to cleave a man’s head off and I didn’t get why it was a bad thing because no one told me. You three were the people who raised me. You were the only one who loved me except then you didn’t.
I killed someone because no one told me it was something wrong. I was so young and I didn’t understand but you? But you KNEW. You knew I had no idea, you knew I was trained, you knew and not only did you do shit about it you stopped doing the good shit.
You stopped reading to me. You stopped hugging me. Playing with me. Indulging me when I would rant. You stopped telling me you loved me. You stopped loving me. You stopped loving me and it wasn’t fair. I didn’t understand WHY and maybe if you had had the balls to tell me I wouldn’t be the person I am now and you maybe wouldn’t be dead.
You’re the parent not me. I reached out when I did because I never thought to reach out before. It might of taken a long time but I was so fucking confused. Cause Grandfather and Father said it was okay and you never objected. You were waiting for me to object but I didn’t even KNOW it was wrong. How is that fair? And then I finally talked to you and confided in you and you looked so relieved? Had you been so sure I was a monster? So convinced I was remorseless? Unsavable? You never tried to save me until I proved I was worth saving. That’s not fair. You were my mom. I shouldn’t have to prove my worth to you.
It wasn’t fair.
When you decided to take me away it was the happiest I ever felt and it took me so long to realize why. Realize that I’d been miserable. Fucking brainwashed. You were going to do the thing you should of done so long ago but I never thought about the fact it should of been long ago, I was just too happy with the other part. Then you were gone and I discarded Xion and I tried so hard to fight. I want to say fighting Grandfather and Father was exhilarating and made me yearn for freedom or any of that shit.
But they hurt me. Again and again and again and again until they thought I learned my lesson. After your disappearance I attacked Father and he had me locked in a cage and I don’t know how long I spent there. After they took you away time changed because I didn’t see daylight anymore. I don’t talk about it. Not even to Wyatt. Because I don’t like to think about it. Honestly if someone somehow just reminded me of any one of those days, any insignificant trigger? Any of them?
I think I’d kill someone.
Or at least do something remarkably stupid so I wouldn’t cry and how fucking horrible is that? CRYING. Just the thought of crying makes me feel ashamed because if Father or Grandfather saw it it would of had consequences. YOU were my hope. The only thing that kept me holding on during that time. I had no choice but to hold you in the highest regard or I wouldn’t of been able to go on. Except you’re dead now and the world is so so much more lucid.
Every time.
Every time I try and remind myself that you did love me I also remember that your love came with conditions. It wasn’t limitless eternal love, it was a real love yes but you took it away for years and I just don’t get how you could do that. I just don’t understand. Take the love you have for someone and just stop? Then... then give it back? How? I want to hate you.
But I can’t.
Because without you I never would of known love or emotion at all. I never would of been saved by Wyatt cause I would of been the kind of monster who tried to use his teeth to rip into an elder’s neck instead of being so emotional over your death. And if Wyatt hadn’t come along then I would be dead or worse. Thats the fact of it. You died and what you wanted for me gave me reason to live for a while until I found some more. And yes some of those include assassinating Grandfather and Father. So I guess thank you for that.
Despite all you did and didn’t do I do I think I love you. I don’t know if I should, honestly, or if its the right thing. There’s also happy memories from when I was tiny and from that one week. That one week where you loved me again and made me feel loved and it was just??? So amazing??? I never knew anything so amazing.
I just. I don’t know what else to say. I love you? I’m sorry? Do you love me? Are you sorry?
