ŚŐÚŃĎ ĔŦŦĔČŤŚ ĂŃĎ ŐVĔŔĎŔĂМĂŤĨČŚ (ŤĨČČĨ ŤŐβŶ Ж ŃÚŔŚĔ ĞŔĂČĔ) 14
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Shh, Toby, you're not working
Triggers: alcohol use, gory imagery, feels
The following are notes transcribed by the Coloeado Bureau of Investigation after they recovered a box of tapes found at the last known location of Tobias "Ticci Toby" Adams and his hostage turned wife, Grace Adams.
The next day, Kate paid Toby and I an unexpected visit, coming in through the front door, even though I had locked it. She looked haggard as she sank down into one of the chairs at the table.
"Elsie dumped me." she said numbly, "kicked me out and now I'm staying at the mansion. Tommy says hi."
"What?" Toby said in disbelief, but already making Kate a drink. "I thought you two were good." He sat the drink in front of her.
"Me too" she sighed, taking the drink. "I asked her to marry me and she said no. Told me to take my stuff and go."
"Damn" I said, "Did you have any sign that this was going to happen?"
"No." Kate said sadly, "I came in from a job. I tracked in a little blood. No big deal. I can get it out. Then Elsie saw it and flipped. I calmed her down, grabbed a shower and was thinking about how I want to wake up to her every morning," Kate sighed, "Stupid. I got out and proposed immediately." She closed her eyes against tears, but one slipped out anyway.
"Do you want Grace to talk to her? I doubt I'd do any good." Toby volunteered, "I can introduce them. Grace is pretty good at sorting out problems. She helps me think sometimes."
"Yeah, okay" Kate said, downing her drink, "You don't have to. I know you're busy." But her tone said 'please fix this, I can't'.
"Kate, you do your best work free of distractions. This is one hell of a distraction." Toby said.
I listened to Toby talk with Kate, trying to glean information I could use for my talk with Elsie. Kate had more drinks and told us that Elsie would be home tomorrow between 3 and 5. After Kate finished her fourth drink, Toby said he was calling someone from the mansion to pick Kate up, since she was fighting sleep and losing. He went silent for a few minutes, and then Tommy came out of the bathroom. He waved at me enthusiastically.
Toby helped Kate stand with Tommy's support. "Take Kate to her quarters. Don't let her leave no matter what. Remind her that Grace is going to try to fix it." He thought for a second, "Get some food and a lot of water in her." He smiled at Tommy, "Thank you, Tommy, you're doing great."
"Thanks Tommy" I smiled and winked at him.
"Do you think you can help them out?"
Tommy led Kate to the bathroom and I followed them to close the door. Tommy and Kate just sort of dematerialized as they stepped through the doorway. I had blinked and then they were gone.
I sighed, a big exhaustion of air. "It's a mess. But I'm certainly gonna try my best. Have you met Elsie before?"
"Yeah" Toby said, "She's a good girl. Kate is much better in having her. Elsie reminds Kate that she has a heart. The insanity would've taken Kate if it wasn't for Elsie." He smiled, "I remember one night, Kate called me freaked out. She'd met a girl and was too nervous to speak to her. So she started stalking her. I told Kate to stop that shit and get to know her the right way. It was like pulling teeth, but Brian and I got Kate there."
"You should start telling me more about the other proxies" I said, enjoying listening to Toby's good memories.
"I'll tell you anything you want to know, babe. You just have to ask the right questions."
"Tell me about Kate." I told Toby as he pulled me into his lap, and he did just that.
I spent the evening learning all things Kate. Catherine Milens, 24. She was from New Orleans and a Leo. Kate had encountered Slenderman in the woods, and he had made her a proxy after years of contact. She preferred to take her victims to the mines of Slenderman's pocket dimension.
Sometimes, prolonged exposure to Slenderman's influence can bring in bouts of intense insanity, and Kate almost lost herself to it. Then Kate had found Elsie and Toby and Brian had had to teach Kate how to date a woman. And in Elsie, Kate had a reason to fight the insanity and store it away. I actually drifted off to sleep in Toby's lap and woke up in the middle of the night in bed, with Toby curled around my body sleeping.
The woman who came to the door had beautiful russet colored skin, almond shaped eyes, and full lips. She pushed her long, ebony hair over her shoulder, "Toby? What are you doing here? Kate... Did something happen?" True fear came over Elsie's face and I realized she thought Toby had come to deliver bad news.
I woke the next day and Toby and I shared a shower before dressing to meet with Elsie. Toby knew where she stayed in Denver and took me there. We walked up to Elsie and Kate's gray wooden home with flowers growing everywhere just thirty minutes past when Kate had said Elsie would be home.
"Kate's alright Elsie" Toby said, "Actually I came to introduce you to Grace. She's my old lady."
Elsie rolled her eyes, still smiling, "How many times do I have to tell you, thirty isn't old!"
"Proxy years are like dog years" he retorted, an old argument.
"Yeah yeah, I know. Multiply by seven." Elsie turned her attention to me "It's nice to meet you, Grace."
"I thought Grace would make a good friend for you. I know Shay can get busy sometimes."
"Well, let me go changed. I've been wanting a picnic lunch lately. We can pick up some stuff from the store and chill at the park" She closed the door to change.
"I'm gonna go check on some things at the mansion. I'll be back at six." Toby kissed me sweetly, like Kate's problems made him appreciate me even more than he already did. It was all I could do not to melt on the spot. He slipped his money clip into my hand.
"Love you" I told him when our lips parted.
"Love you too. See you tonight, babe." Toby walked away, hands in his pockets and turned the street corner.
Elsie came out with her bag. She had put on a red, knee length sundress. It was cut like the one Toby had bought me, except it had a sweetheart neckline, which accentuated Elsie's small chest. Long golden necklaces and matching hoop earrings blazed in the sunlight. I saw why Kate had chosen her and smiled. "Come on, tell me where to go. I'm not from around here."
"There's a corner market that way" she pointed in the direction Toby had gone, "We can walk there, and then the park is the next block over."
"Awesome" I sighed, relieved for the chance to stretch my legs, "I think I'd scream if I had to get back into the car now."
Elsie laughed as I followed her, "Is working taking you two everywhere?"
"Yeah" I laughed, "Back and forth and back and forth from Pueblo."
I followed Elsie to the store, where I had fresh deli sandwiches made with crisp vegetables, thinly cut meat and cheese, and fluffy fresh baked bread. The two of us grabbed some chips and drinks and I paid for it from Toby's money clip, as he obviously meant for me to do. It touched me that he had entrusted the clip to me. It was a big deal.
"Isn't it the worst when they come home with bloodstains? Like really, in front of my vanilla latte?"
I walked with Elsie a block over to a park, following Elsie through a shortcut made by years of kids cutting through. Conversation flowed comfortably between the two of us as we picked a shady spot to sit, away from the kids playing, just out of school.
"At least you get latte's, Toby believes coffee should only come black."
Elsie looked at me in soft horror, "You poor woman."
I nodded, "Anyway, Toby tries to clean up, but he always misses a spot, and hopes I don't notice. Which I do."
"How are you adjusting? To... All of that?"
I sighed, "It's a big adjustment. And I really only have Toby." We started eating.
"Oof that's got to be hard sometimes" she said.
"I'm sure you've got some stories."
"Yeah... Does it ever bother you?" Elsie asked quietly.
"What?"
"That Toby's always... There. He's the first and last thing you see when you sleep. You're surrounded by his things. Kate rearranges things and I almost lose my mind!"
I shrugged, "It doesn't bother me. We don't even separate our clothes."
"That would drive me insane!"
"Is Kate giving you problems with boundaries?"
"No... It's just," Elsie took a drink of her tea, "I like my things a specific way. And now Kate's stuff is just everywhere. We decided to live together, but I didn't know it would be like this!"
"You feel like Kate is taking over."
Elsie thoughtfully chewed a bite from her sandwich and swallowed, "Yeah" she said softly like she'd only just realized it. "Don't you feel that way?"
I shrugged again, a motion that said nothing, and everything. "I hadn't really thought about it. But I know I'm the happiest I've ever been."
Elsie nodded sadly, "Kate makes me happy too. And then I think about those old couples who become more and more alike. Until they're basically the same old person." She frowned. "It scares me."
I hugged Elsie. "I get that. But you and Kate can be together and still be two separate people."
Elsie buried her face in her hands, "She asked me to marry her" and then she let out a wail.
I hugged Elsie again and pet her hair, "So? She loves you and wants to wake up to you every day. Is that so bad?"
"No!" Elsie cried into my shoulder in frustration, "It's just" She gathered her words and then pulled her face away from my shoulder to look at me. "You've heard her, Kate's from the Deep South, where they like big extravagant weddings and parties before and after. Churches and preachers and suits and jackets and dresses. I don't want that. I would honestly just like to elope."
I tried not to laugh, "Is that all?" I failed and laughed a little as I squeezed Elsie, "Baby girl, just tell her that. Make her understand."
Elsie smiled a little, "Really? Why didn't I see that?"
"I have a feeling that Kate would reanimate Elvis himself to marry you, if that's what you wanted." I thought about my relationship. "Kate and Toby have seen a lot, been through a lot. Their master taxes the limits of sanity. And they live the sharpest lives." I frowned a little, "They could be taken from us in an instant. Love Kate while you have her. Don't think about the future, because that's uncertain. Think about now."
Elsie and I sat in silence after my philosophical breakthrough, side by side. I had been so certain of Toby's abilities that it hadn't occurred to me that I could lose him. All it took was for one target to have a gun, and that beautiful mind and face could be blown away. The revelation floored me and I felt a little sick. I wrapped up the rest of my sandwich.
"Sorry" I apologized, "I didn't mean for this to get so heavy."
"No" Elsie said, finishing her sandwich, "I needed to hear that. You really have a way of putting things in perspective."
"That's what Toby says" I replied "That I help him think when the voices get too loud."
"Ugggh, the voices" Elsie lamented, "I really hope they go away when Kate and I are alone."
"Girl, I shit you not, Toby's ex listened to us the other night and left a knife with a note in the door."
"Natalie?" Elsie asked, her brow furrowed in concern, "Watch out for her. She's super unstable."
"Thanks for the advice" I said, "Toby got me a gun. Then he told me he loved me for the first time, and took me to learn how to shoot."
"That's just... So. Romantic. I love him. Platonically. Anyway, she's sneaky. If you see her, don't turn your back on her."
"Noted."
It must have been the day for revelations, because I realized that I meant it when I'd told Toby I'd do whatever it took to keep the two of us safe. I'd spare Natalie if I could, but I wouldn't just let her hurt what was mine. I'd kill her if I had to, and sleep perfectly at night. I also realized that Elsie was part of the small group of people I considered 'mine'. Toby. Tommy. Kate. Caleb. Elsie. I wanted to watch Tommy come into his own. I wanted Caleb's sauce business to take off and boom. I wanted to see Elsie and Kate be pronounced woman and wife and share their first married kiss. I wanted to wake up to Toby every day for the rest of my life. And I'd drown the world in blood to take out anyone that even dreamed of getting in the way of that.
"Can you call Toby?" Elsie asked, "I want to see Kate."
I smiled, glad you'd gotten through to Elsie. "Wish I could but no phones."
"It wouldn't work anyway. Cell reception and WiFi blow chunks if BEN isn't there. I meant with your mind."
"I can do that?"
Elsie nodded, "I just tried with Kate, but she's blocking me."
I asked the next shyly, "Could you, ah, teach me?"
"Um, sure. I can't believe Toby hasn't already."
"Maybe he just forgot" I said, "The past little bit has been... A lot."
"True" Elsie crossed her ankles in front of her, "So, it's easier if you're comfortable. Close your eyes." I did, "Okay, now think about Toby. How he makes you feel, his aura." I pictured him with his cloudy eyes, and his broken a few times nose, smiling at me with his new facial hair and love in his gaze. Elsie's voice swam to me, "Now. Cast a line out to him with your awareness. Think only of him." I threw out a line of my consciousness from the center of my body, just below my heart. "Don't forget to be polite and knock. It can be startling sometimes." I used that line of my awareness and sought Toby out. When I found something that felt like him in your head, I tapped at it lightly.
'Grace?' Toby answered in your mind. He looked up at me, like I floated over him. He seemed surprised to see me and I caught a glance of a map, dotted with red x's in Toby's handwriting. Slenderman stood on the other side of the table. They looked to be in a war room of sorts; swords and other weapons decorated the walls.
'Hi!' I thought at him, 'this is cool!'
'Yeah, it is... I'm guessing Elsie taught you?'
'Yeah. She wants to see Kate, but says Kate's blocking her?'
'I'll finish up here and get her. We were just finishing up.'
'I'll let Elsie know' and I started to pull back, fading back into the park.
'Grace?' Toby's voice whispered through my head, 'I love you.'
"I love you too" I said out loud and blinked. I knew he had heard.
"Toby's gonna bring Kate to us" you told Elsie.
"Let's go back to the house" Elsie replied, "there's plenty of doors there."
The two of us quickly gathered our things and threw away our trash on the way out. Then we hurried back to Elsie's.
Toby ushered Kate in from a closet not long after we arrived. Kate looked worse for wear, her skin wan and pale with sallow circles under her eyes. Elsie flew to her the instant she saw her, and Toby joined me as they hugged.
"I'm so sorry, love bug, I didn't mean it! I just freaked out." She planted a kiss on both of Kate's wet cheeks. "I just- promise we can just elope or something. And that you'll let me have one room that's just mine. And the bloodstains, Kate, the bloodstains." She kissed Kate's lips between each subject.
Kate was saying, "Of course, of course, ma petite. Je t'aime, je t'aime." and Toby hugged me from behind as I watched the love between these two women.
"I hope that we, at least, are invited to the wedding." Toby said.
"Of course, boss" Kate beamed, "Wouldn't have it any other way." She mouthed 'thank you' over Elsie's head.
"Good to hear it" Toby smiled, "We'll leave you two alone. Grace, I want to show you something."
