“To my relief, Laia is gone. When she screamed my name, I had not a whisper of hesitation. It doesn’t matter that I said I wouldn’t help. It doesn’t matter that I need to interrogate Maro to figure out what the hells he’s doing with the ghosts. When she called out, all that mattered was her.”
Been writing on this for quite a while now. Enjoy. xxx
The song I’m mentioning is called “crash this train” by Joshua James.
Word count: 2k+
Warning: mentions death and smut
(Y/n) was going through all the different scenarios her mind could come up with, she was pretty sure, that she didn’t have much time left, the walkers were slowly encircling her. Groans were hallowing through the dark forest, her hands were calloused, legs were shaking, blood was dripping down from her lip, she was a mess.
The sky was dark, it must have been around 7 pm by now, she lost track of time a long time ago. (Y/n)’s eyes wandered down to the watch on her wrist, it stopped working a few months back, but she never had the strength to pull it off, it had been a present from her grandma, something that reminded her of better times.
(Y/n) had managed to find a community not too long ago, became friends with them, at least that’s what she liked to think, but as soon as they noticed, that (y/n) wasn’t one to follow meaningless rules and orders, they kicked her out, carried her out into the forest and left her to die.
Death didn’t scare her, she wasn’t one to be blinded by her fears, liked to keep a clean head, to not think about the what ifs. She had a good soul, would give her life for her friends and family, not that she did have any left, she’d walk through hell and back for her people.
Her fingers were tightly gripping her machete, (y/n) always had been a good fighter, she was able protect herself, she had to survive somehow after all. She was fast, knew how to move her body, where to hit the walkers, in order to stay alive. She tried to stay rational, mind wandering back to her previous training sessions with her dad, he had been a sheriff, knew how to shoot a gun and he also knew his way around a machete.
“Never take your eyes off them, try to move as fast as you can.” His deep voice rang through her head, tears began to blur her vision, her dad had been her safe haven, her saving grace, her best friend, living without him by her side did hurt, every single day. Anger swapped over her, she didn’t have enough time with him, she’d do everything in that moment to hug him one last time.
By now it was quite obvious, that there were too many walkers around, their groans shot shivers up her spine, (y/n) knew that her end was near, she knew that she would die in peace, ready to leave this earth behind. Not having to worry about her safety any longer, not having to think about finding food day in and out, didn’t sound as bad.
The temperature began to drop, it was relatively cold for that time of the year, her leatherjacket couldn’t protect her any longer, (y/n) would either get eaten by the walkers or freeze to death. It was too dark to see any near by walkers, so (y/n) slowly sunk to her knees, eyes closed, hands not letting go of her weapon just yet.
Suddenly her mind took her back to a Monday afternoon, a few years back, she was driving around town, sitting on the passenger side of her best friends car. Joshua James voice rang through the speakers, “Cuz if it dies in cold, when the clouds start to roll, is it then that your soul, starts to bleed.” The memory brought a smile onto her lips. (Y/n) could remember how carefree she felt in that moment, life had been easy, nothing major to worry about. The sun had been shining down on them, sun rays dancing across her face, tickling her nose, the sound of her best friends laughter made her chuckle.
Light rain began to fall down on her, thunder rumbled through the sky, lighting momentarily gave her a second to take in her surroundings. Eyes finding the dead, cold ones of a few walkers in the distance, her breath began to hitch in her chest, probably because her heart was currently fighting a losing battle. This was her end, (y/n) was sure of it.
“Deep breaths my love.” Her moms voice reminded her once again, (y/n)s mind was taking her back to a better place, going through all her happy memories, a smile on her lips as she thought back to her life before the apocalypse. She felt content in that moment, ready to let go, if death would be this peaceful, (y/n) would be all in to finally take her last breath.
Her mind began to play a few tricks on her, (y/n) could feel her mothers soft hand touching her cold cheeks, reassuring her that she wouldn’t leave her side, a tear left (y/n)s eye as she tried to touch her. Of course, she couldn’t really feel her mothers hand, but a wave of calmness overcame her, just as if her mother was standing right in front of her.
“Don’t close your eyes, (y/n).” She couldn’t come up with the strength to fight against the will to let go any longer, (y/n) closed her eyes, she fell forward, cheeks pressed against the cold forest floor. “Just for a few minutes, mom,” left her lips, before finally giving into the darkness.
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He had been on one of his usual runs, trying to scavenge some food for his people, not talking about the bottles of whisky he liked to hide away for rough nights. It wasn’t unusual for him to walk around the forests near the sanctuary, of course with a few of his best fighters following him around, but Negan definitely didn’t expect to find a sleeping figure of a girl placed on the forest floor.
She was too far gone to notice that somebody was nearing, her heartbeat began to slow down, she didn’t have much time left. His eyebrows were pulled together, wondering what the fuck she was doing. Why wasn’t she trying to save herself? Negan wasn’t used to seeing people giving up that easily. Something inside of him was telling him to save her.
He crouched down next to her, feeling her fading pulse. “Fuck,” he checked her for any wounds and bite marks, as he couldn’t find any, he picked her up from the cold forest floor, threw her over his shoulder, walked towards the van that was parked a few feet away, killing some walkers here and there.
A scream left her lips as her eyes shot open, the way his shoulder was pressing into her abdomen, seemed to rip her out of her state. “Fuck, we don’t want to attract any unwanted attention, do we?” The voice made her shiver, breath hot against her neck, hand pressed over her mouth, now she realized that she was dangling over a strangers shoulder.
(Y/n) couldn’t help but feel relieved, she was safe, at least for the moment, she felt too tired to struggle against his hold, not caring about any “stranger danger” her mom used to warn her about. “Don’t die on me doll.” Negan picked up his speed, basically jogging towards the van.
She was shivering, her body was trembling against his hold, Negan wasn’t quite sure if it was because she was cold, or if she was scared of him. As much as an asshole he could be, Negan wanted her to feel safe around him, knowing that he wouldn’t let her die.
He placed her down on the passenger seat, not caring about the way her wet, dirty clothes were leaving stains on the seats, jogged around the car and managed to close the door just in time, escaping the walkers grip last minute. “Well, nice to meet you doll, I’m Negan, that’s Simon and Arat.” Just now (y/n) realized that a few other people were seated in the van, curious eyes watching her.
Her eyes rolled backwards, she breathed out a small whimper, her heart began to rapidly beat, she was going into shock. Negan wordlessly grasped the towel Simon pushed into his direction, trying to wipe away the blood from her chin and the cold sweat on her forehead. “Simon, you drive. Hurry, I don’t know how much time she has left.” He pulled her into the back of the van, placed in his lap, he desperately tried to keep her alive.
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She woke up in an unfamiliar room, trying to locate where she was currently at, eyes finding green ones, “good morning, sleeping beauty.” A smile on Negan's lips as he sipped on his glass of whisky. “Where am I?” (Y/n) cringed at how raspy her voice sounded, she still felt tired, exhausted, not realizing that she had slept for hours on end.
“At the sanctuary, place of my community. Welcome home doll.” He rose from the sofa, grabbed her a glass of water and placed himself next to her on the big bed. She couldn’t remember a day where water had tasted that good, (y/n) couldn’t stop herself from drowning the whole glass in one go, ignoring Negan's chuckles.
Carson had tried his best to save her, had to reanimate her a few times, (y/n) was a fighter, that was for sure. It would take her a few days to acclimatize herself, her body would need as much rest as possible, she almost had been dead for at least four times after all.
Negan wouldn’t leave her out of his sight, something about her pulled him in, he felt the need to take care of her, so he gave into his instincts, something he was quite good at. (Y/n) grew comfortable around him, would talk with him about god knows what, would laugh at his lame dad jokes, appreciating the way he was caring for her.
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It had been two weeks since that night, (y/n) had gotten her own room, only a few doors down from Negans, he told her to take it easy, to call him, if she’d need anything, secretly hoping, that she’d spend more time around him. The sanctuary already felt like home, (y/n) loved to walk around the garden, to help in the kitchen, putting her cooking skills to use. Negans eyes would watch her frame wander around the sanctuary, always keeping his posture, trying not to make it too obvious, how much he adored her, scared to chase her off.
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“Tea?” She called out to him, two cups of tea placed in her hand as she rammed the tip of her boot against his door, trying not to spill the hot water over herself. He leaned himself against his door frame, arms crossed in front of his chest, typical Negan smirk on his lips, “aw, did you miss me, doll?”
Things between the pair took an interesting turn that night, being the clumsy girl she was, (y/n) managed to spill some tea over his trousers, apologizing over and over again, while trying to dry off his crotch with a paper towel, not realizing the way she was putting pressure onto him. “Doll, you should have just told me that you so desperately want to touch me, no need to spill tea all over me.” He chuckled as he grasped her face, fingers running over her now flushed cheeks, eyes wandering down to her lips.
She instinctively closed her eyes, expecting to feel his lips on hers, whimpering as he finally attached his mouth onto hers, teeth gazing her lower lip, pulling on it, he was obsessed with her taste. (Y/n) couldn’t stop the moan from escaping her lips as he pulled her onto his lap, core placed against his bulge, almost naturally grinding her hips against his. Calloused fingers wandered underneath her shirt, exploring her skin, she was in for a night full of new experiences, buried underneath his body, bedsheets swallowing her frame.
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There hasn’t been a day where she didn’t thank her fate for crossing paths with Negan, grateful for the way he saved her, the way he took her in and gave her life a new meaning. The saviors were her new family, still, she tried to hide the thing that was going on between her and Negan, she didn’t like to be in the spotlight, would do anything to avoid any meaningless gossip. It was their own little secret, something to protect, to grow together and to explore each other fully.
The more she got pulled into his life, the more she realized that he could be ripped away from her sooner than she may expect, the more time she tried to spend with him. Not longer caring about the stares and the whispers, she would relish in the feeling of being close to him, too scared that she’d lose him anytime soon.
The other communities were slowly encircling them, she could feel that their end was near, coming to terms with the fact that the end of her second chance at life was at reach.
Her life took many turns, definitely more than she had expected, (y/n) was grateful for every moment she got to spend with the love of her life. He was her new home, her new safe haven, knowing that he’d protect her at all costs, just like she’d give her life for him. Something that would probably never change.
