It's been a few of days, but I return to you once more on the Kings Island lore side of things, this time with the promised transcript of the entire loop of the W.E.R.D. Radio van outside of the Area 72 entrance/archway!
This van, to be specific!
[Link to video I used for reference]
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[Static, followed by jingle]
IBS News Announcer: This is the IBS World News Service. All eyes are focused today on the secluded US military base as speculation raised concerning secret government operations. Anthony Andrews, reports from America.
Anthony Andrews: Once the most secret of all US bases, has recently become the focus of international attention and controversy. Local residents claim to have seen strange lights in the sky and mysterious nocturnal activity around the base. Joey Finneran is a wheat farmer. His field lays adjacent to the base:
Joey Finneran: It was about 10:00 last night. I-I was sitting in the bed. All of a sudden, BANG! I thought it was one of them sonic booms, but it was a heck of a lot louder, you know? When I looked out the window, I thought a fighter jet had gone down in the back 20 ‘cause it looked like the whole farm was on fire. But, when I run out there, the light was gone and there’s these- these crazy pictures burned in the field.
Anthony Andrews: What kind of pictures, Mr. Finneran?
Joey Finneran: Crazy, I said! You’re welcome to see for yourself as soon as them government people is finished. Come back tomorrow and I’ll show you!
Anthony Andrews: That interview was recorded yesterday, but when we returned today to see Finneran’s field, we received a very different response:
Joey Finneran: Nah, I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Anthony Andrews: So you never saw any lights in the sky? Never had any strange patterns burned into your crops or anything?
Joey Finneran: Well of course not! That’s ridiculous!
Anthony Andrews: Well, do you mind if we take a look at the field?
Joey Finneran: Go right ahead! I just plowed it under this morning!
Anthony Andrews: Oh, I...I see, and is that your new combine harvester parked next to your barn, Mr. Finneran? Would you like to comment on that please, sir?
Joey Finneran: I think y'all better go now.
Anthony Andrews: Since then, news media and curiosity seekers have descended on the once-secret base, demanding that the government reveal what it knows. Speculation centers around Hangar 18, the main structure on the base, and its classified contents. Major Joan Trenton is post commander at Fort Cooper. She joins us in a telephone interview.
Anthony Andrews: Now, Major, what about the activities of the past few days? It seems like something big is going on in there.
Major Trenton: Fort Cooper is a Level 1 Classified installation which deals with matters of national security. I have no comment on any of our activities at this time.
Anthony Andrews: Well then, what can you tell us about Department 47, the secret government task force reportedly stationed under your command?
Major Trenton: I have no comment on any of our activities at this time.
Anthony Andrews: This silence from the base and the accompanying media outcry has brought a swift response from the administration which insists there’s nothing to hide. White House spokesperson, Richard Christopher:
Richard Christopher: The president has assured me that nothing will be withheld from the American people without justified cause. I will personally visit the base today and if there’s no direct threat to public safety, we will order full and immediate disclosure.
Anthony Andrews: And so the media and the world wait for the administration to decide whether the mysterious contents of Hangar 18 will be revealed to the public. For IBS, I’m Anthony Andrews.
IBS News Announcer: This is the IBS World News Service.
[Jingle, then static]
National Weather Service: With the winds out of the east at 14 miles per hour, it’s currently 75 degrees.
(Jingle) “W.E.R.D. - WERD Radio!”
Herb Hollands: Hey, hey hey! And welcome back, everybody! Sorry about that interruption, but the National Weather Service tells us that we’re experiencing some unusually heavy sunspot activity today! I’m your host, Herb Hollands, here taking your calls about the mysterious goings-on out at that super-secret military base just outside of town. But just before the break, we were talking to Virgil in Richmond!”
Virgil: Yeah, Herb, it’s perfectly obvious what’s going on in there!
Herb Hollands: And, uh, what’s that, Virgil?
Virgil: They’ve got machines, they’ve got the technology, they’re obviously building a tunnel through to China!
Herb Hollands: Well, you’re not the first caller to suggest that today, Virgil! But wouldn’t a trans-planet tunnel be prohibitively expensive, not to mention, well, just darn hot?
Virgil: Uh, very good question. I have a very good answer, Herb. Air conditioning! $3.99 right now at Virgil’s Hardware!
Herb Hollands: *laughs* Well, alright! Thank you Virgil!
Virgil: How do I do it?
Herb Hollands: Next caller!
Virgil: Volume!
Herb Hollands: Thank you, Virgil! And this is Al in Cincinnati!
Al: Herb! Dude! Love the show! Long-time listener, first-time caller!
Herb Hollands: Thanks, babe. Do you have a comment?
Al: Yes, Herb, I do.
Herb Hollands: ...and, that would be?
Al: This is clearly the work of anti-American forces working to overthrow our government by sedition and violence.
Herb Hollands: *laughs* But it’s a government base, Al!
Al: Exactly, man!
Herb Hollands: Okay, yeah, thanks for the call, Al! Next on the line, everybody, we have David in Charlotte, North Carolina, queen city of the south. Hello, Dave! Talk to me!
David: Herb?
Herb Hollands: Uh huh?
David: I’m gettin’ a little tired of all these wackos a callin’ in.
Herb Hollands: You and me both, Dave!
David: I mean, it’s so obvious, I don’t even know why we’re talkin’ about it!
Herb Hollands: Fill me in, babe.
David: Flyin’ cows...
Herb Hollands: Uh huh.
David: Flyin’ cows! Come on, Herb! Like you ain’t never seen ‘em! Come on! Whole herds of them big suckers! Chewin’ their cud, hoverin’ over the interstate...
Herb Hollands: Well, okay Dave! Thanks for-
David: Oh, and believe me! You don’t let your car get under one of them cows...
Herb Hollands: And this is Jane, everybody, who says she just got back from the base, and that it’s...what Jane?
Jane: Pretty scary.
Herb Hollands: In what way, Jane?
Jane: Well- well look at the craters and scorch marks! And...and the people coming and going from the base, they’re not soldiers! They’re astronomers, sociologists, and politicians!
Herb Hollands: Uh huh.
Jane: Now, look at the events of the last 24 hours. 11. Separate. Unrelated reports to the police department of strange noises and lights in the sky!
Herb Hollands: What you’re saying then, Jane, is...
Jane: Well, I... I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I think that they discovered some kind of extraterrestrial-
[static begins to cover her words]
Herb Hollands: I’m sorry, Jane. I didn’t get that last part. Jane? Jane?! Well, that certainly was weird! But that’s okay because so are we! W.E.R.D. Radio!
Jingle - WERD Radio!
Herb Hollands: Hey, we’re obviously experiencing some technical difficulties at this time everybody, so! Please stand by!
[Cutoff, static]
[3 taps on the mic]
???: Hey, hey! Testing! This is a message from your trusted podcaster from waaay underground, but closer than you think! For those of you listening - especially those in southwest Ohio - pay attention! Gonna cover a little topic about the infamous Area 72! Yep! The one and only! And I’m the only one talking about it! You’re only gonna hear it from me! Because I’m the only one trying to get at the truth! People won’t listen because I got too much data! And it’s too hard to believe! Or they’re afraid of believing it! I’m sick of it! I don’t know everything that’s going on inside Area 72, but I do know this: I have good people, connected people, inside people, telling me: yes; it’s much more than you know! Keep going! It’s going to come out! And it is starting to come out! It’s all real! My guy’s transmissions from inside Area 72 are reaching me, now! And it’s aaaall Egypt, and it’s aliens, and it’s everything else! You know about Egypt, right? Egypt was proof! There’s no way they built those pyramids, let alone position them precisely to align with the stars in Orion’s belt, and the North Pole! That’s CRAZY! IMPOSSIBLE! They would’ve needed insight into science, math, and astronomy that we only have today! Right? OR! Or did they have help from who know it even better than we know it today? *snorts* The evidence? It’s there! And it’s so obvious, and so all over the internet, that everyone thinks it’s gotta be a hoax! Well! Most people. But I’m not most people! And neither are my insiders!
???: Now again, this is not my “opinion.” This is from REAL RESEARCH! I have talked to everybody about how they’ve actually got aliens in Area 72 with astronaut-level people diving into what these aliens and alien crafts are all about! And no, not just alien bodies! I’m talking aliens! Alive! Captive aliens! They’re down there, living - somehow - in a kind of semi-hibernation-like existence! But able to be engaged! And we’re- well, the government - is getting knowledge from them with these breakaway rogue intelligence agencies, working nonstop to unlock the secrets of the universe! See, people just need to understand! I’ve known about this for a long time! The government says that people aren’t ready for this! That it will cause panic! Make them lose their minds! Lead to collapse of the economy and...everything! But scientists have proven that your brain is capable of working in the fourth, fifth, sixth dimension! And if you can, you can look beyond it! Here’s the whole story that they’re trying to keep from you!
???: I happen to know for a fact that Area 72 has been housing a top secret research program for decades called “Project X” - what the insiders call the Orion Sequence - and that they’re recruiting citizen volunteers to come to Area 72 for some sort of testing program! Testing WHAT? You know what I think? I think they want to use people as their guinea pigs! That’s right! And I don’t know how they recruit, who gets this special invite, or what happens if you’re invited and say, “Nuh huh, sorry!” You think they’re just gonna let you take a hard pass and that’s it? I don’t believe it! No, no, no! *laughs* Not for one second! Don’t open any weird emails! Ignore those strange calls and voicemails! Don’t, DON’T GO! People! Stay away!
???: And for anybody doubting me, why would I spend this time, risk my life, and the lives of those close to me? No! *pfft* This isn’t about money! I don’t need anybody’s money! This has already cost me more than money could make up! Losing family and friends who just! Don’t! Get it! This is about the truth! Area 72 is real, and I’m the only one looking at what’s really been going on! Who understands! Politicians come and go. Researchers come and go! Some are good, some are bad. The whole power structure has been against us for a very serious reason, but we’re bringing down this whole global system! You and me! And that’s why everything’s breaking loose! I just want my listeners to know.
???: I’m not some hack! A hack wouldn’t have noticed one of the first human inversion testing with Vortex. A hack wouldn’t have caught them hiding evidence about the controversial Firehawk Space Test Pilot Project! A hack wouldn’t see how this is aaall being continued under the authority of the Orion Sequence! So no! I’m no hack! I’m a truth-teller! But yeah, I get it. Sometimes people don’t wanna hear the truth! No one apparently! But it’s finally time to take a chance and start taking some leaps over conventional thinking and believing! You with me, folks! Yeah!
???: It’s like all the meteor storms that are supposed to miss our planet. So, what’s with all the reports about these tiny meteorites coming down? Do you remember these from last year? Of course! This is somehow tied to the Orion Sequence, and the citizens research testing program. I don’t know how - yet - but I’m gonna find out! This is just the beginning of something they won’t be able to cover up anymore! Right here! In Mason, Ohio! Did you hear that explosion the other day? Did you see that cloud of dust? Yeah! That was no power grid failure! No sir! You see, I think those meteors aren’t gonna miss us like they said they would, I think they’ve already started hitting us! And the best thing you can do is to get underground! STAT! That’s where I am! Yep! Safe and snug in my secret bunker with a few select compadres! Whoo hoo! Do not volunteer for any training project! How’s that gonna help you? Stick with us and future transmissions, and stay low! UNDERGROUND! This is where I’m gonna stay until- [the audio starts to buzz for a moment] -wait. Did you hear that? I’m gonna check. DID YOU SEE IT? HOW CLOSE WAS IT? Folks, I, uh, I’m signing off I’ll talk to you all tomorrow. Hopefully.
[Static]
