mas você ainda pode ser a minha vida
em outra situação,
em outro momento,
em um dos futuros.
me deixa guardada
em algum canto do teu hipocampo
e fica bem até lá.
Tá?!
ou seja, o casal se amava,
não tava pronto pra ficar junto,
tava guardado pra uma outra vida..
(que é dentro dessa mesma vida)
então, uma outra vida não significa morte,
significa recomeço em um outro momento
talvez de muito mais maturidade.
–Armandinho
{Talvez não seja nessa vida ainda, mas você ainda vai ser a minha vida. Então a gente vai fugir pro mar, eu vou pedir pra namorar, você vai me dizer que vai pensar.. mas, no fim, vai deixar}
He suffered more than Jesus Christ - a Vampire Armand review
Spoiler alert!
Hi everyone, I finished the book by the second week of january, and I was at a complete loss of words to describe how much I loved it and how much it impacted me, which is why it took me over a month to finally come here to dissect it. Of course I knew I would love it, since Armand is my favorite character from the Vampire Chronicles, but I wasn't at all ready for the absolute banger of a book his memoir is.
Please note I originally wrote this in portuguese and then translated it to english with DeepL, mainly because I could barely form thoughts in my mother language already and just wouldn't be able to rewrite it in english at all. I revised it, but beware it might still have some weird wording and grammar. Sorry for that!
This sixth book in the Vampire Chronicles was a divine gift from Anne Rice to all of us Armand Lovers. "The Vampire Armand" tells, in much more detail, the brief story we had known in "The Vampire Lestat", now through the mouth of Armand himself, who takes us from his childhood abduction to the point where we left him in "Memnoch the Demon". And I have to say, it's no wonder he's like that.
Armand has always been very intriguing to me, ever since, back in Interview with the Vampire, he was just this mysterious, manipulative figure who fell for Louis' charms and was willing to do whatever it took to have him all to himself. But even so, he wasn't much more than that to me, just another vampire trying to use Louis for his own interests.
It was in Vampire Lestat that I fell completely in love with this character and that he earned the title of my favorite of the Chronicles. The contrast between the first time Louis sees Armand in the theater and the first time Lestat sees Armand in the church left me completely confused, after all, how can the guy Louis repeatedly describes as stunning be as wrecked as Lestat describes? What happened to get from one extreme to the other? And of course we find out the answer in the part dedicated to Armand's story in the second book, and of course that chapter solidified him on my list of favorites.
But it's very different to have read Armand's story through Lestat's eyes and now to be reading it through Armand's. In fact, I think that's the great strength of "The Vampire Armand". In all the previous books, all Armand's appearances were described through someone else's eyes (be it Louis, Daniel or Lestat), and that was largely the reason why he remained so mysterious in my eyes. But it's almost impossible to maintain that kind of distance in this sixth book, when everything is told in such a personal, vulnerable way, so close to Armand. He finally speaks for himself and we can finally understand him more deeply.
Of course, this characteristic of the book makes it a story much more linked to the characters than to a plot per se. In other words, the point of this book isn't the crazy twists and turns or headlong adventures we're used to in previous volumes of the Chronicles. The point is Armand and his life story, it's about his relationships over the years, about all the things he's been forced to go through, about his relationship with religion and about what could have led him to do what he did towards the end of Memnoch. There are certain parts that can be tiresome and also some that give the impression of being the same thing in two different places. In addition, this book is the one with the most sexual content of all its predecessors (yes, including The Tale of the Body Thief and Memnoch, trust me!) and also has a strong religious content (but which, in my opinion, has much more of a place than it did in Memnoch. To be honest, I have very strong opinions about Memnoch, but we'll talk about that another time), all of which may put some readers off. But I have to say, and perhaps I'm kinda biased, that all these elements enriched the book for me and are some of the many reasons why I loved it so much.
If I had to summarize this book in two elements, they would be: Christian guilt and the eternal search for love. Assad Zaman, the actor who plays Armand in the AMC series, said in an interview that Armand was simply desperate for love, to love and be loved, and it's the purest truth. Throughout his story, the search for love was defining, and not just any love, but a deep, obsessed, devotional love. Andrei finds this love in Jesus Christ and the Orthodox Church, Amadeo finds this love with Marius and the other apprentices in Venice, Armand is completely tormented precisely because he can't find this love anywhere for most of his life. He needs something to devote himself to completely, which is sad in itself, but is even worse when I remember that, for most of his 500-year long life, he has been lost in this aspect.
As for the question of Christian guilt, I have to say that it actually goes a little further than this concept can illustrate. Vampire Armand's religiosity is central to the plot because it's one of the main dilemmas in his life and, surprisingly, it's one of the most beautiful things in the book for me. I have very strong opinions about Memnoch and Anne Rice's decision to include religiosity like that in the series, but I simply love its place in Vampire Armand. Maybe that's it, after all: that religion has a place in this story, unlike in the previous book.
Andrei grew up as an Orthodox Christian and, as soon as his artistic gifts were discovered, he was taken to live in the monastery, where the concept of religiosity was intrinsically linked to suffering, self-denial, absolute devotion at the expense of one's own well-being. And then he is kidnapped and not only taken to a land full of sin, but forced to live in the very passage to hell. Of course, all this until he is rescued by Marius, at which point Andrei becomes Amadeo and is introduced to a new religious philosophy. It's so obvious that this is a breaking point, on some level, with previous beliefs that in the rescue scene Amadeo believes that Marius is Jesus Christ himself who has come to save him (which is indicative, in a way, of how in this part of his life the god that Amadeo worships is Marius, his master).
As Amadeo, he discovers a life full of love and pleasure, contrary to everything he experienced in the monastery. And I'm not just talking about sexual pleasure, which was a big part of this change, but all the others. The pleasure of dressing luxuriously and buying whatever you want, of being able to eat and drink to your heart's content, of consuming lots and lots of art freely, of being able to study philosophers from the past and a million other things and, of course, eventually, of blood and death.
It's very interesting to see this dichotomy of philosophies in Armand's life, and how he seems to reconcile the two after his visit to Kiev, when he's already a vampire. And my God, what a shattering chapter Kiev was! Definitely my favorite part of the book, I don't think even the iconic "if I'm an angel, paint me with black wings" (yes, go on Edgylord…) can overcome how much I love Kiev. Knowing what happened to Andrei's family, his reunion with his father, the part where he goes back to the monastery, my God, unparalleled!!! But, in fact, the best part of it all is Amadeo finally being able to make peace with this part of his past and finding some balance between everything he learned at the Monastery and everything he learned from Marius.
Unfortunately, theres only so far happiness can go, because then itcomes misfortune. And misfortune comes in the form of the Children of Darkness who literally set fire to everything, including Marius. And then, once again, Amadeo is kidnapped from his home and forced to live against his own principles. He is tortured, forced to starve, forced to watch all the other apprentices being burned alive, forced to feed on Riccardo who was very dear to him and, finally, forced to accept a life so similar to the one he rejected. This is the birth of Armand.
It's also very interesting how the doctrine of the Children of Darkness mirrors the Orthodox doctrine of the Kiev Monastery: self-denial in servitude to the Lord, an extremely rigid doctrine, literally burying oneself alive and living underground. Just another christianity-based cult, right? And, despite having sworn to himself shortly before that he would never surrender to such a life, Armand "converts". Very sad, but not surprising, considering that throughout the book he has been conflicted between these two sides and now one of them is gone forever. Marius is gone, the apprentices are gone, Venice is gone. Armand has nothing left to cling to, only what is forced upon him.
And so we come to the Bridge of Sighs. It's centuries of being brainwashed by this cult, believing that this life was what he deserved, that this was what it meant to be a vampire, until Lestat finally arrives and ends it all. Of course, the cult ending doesn't mean that Armand has finally found himself because, as we know from all the previous books, the poor guy is still in deep shit (and committing atrocities, of course). There's the theater, then Louis, then Daniel, but nothing really seems to fulfill him (even though he loved Louis and Daniel.By the way, poor Daniel oh my god). It's no wonder that, at the first sight of proof of the existence of God in Memnoch, Armand immediately wants to sacrifice himself, after all, even after all this time, religion is still the only thing he "has".
Anyway, after all this, we finally arrive where we left off in the previous book and understand how Armand survived. Benji and Sybelle are perfect, sweethearts, babydarlings and I've never been so happy to see Armand with his little family (and I've never wanted to beat Marius up as much as I did in the last chapter of this book). The scene in the chapel is wonderful and shows me how much Armand and Lestat love each other even though they hate each other, which is also clear from the many times Armand mentions Lestat in the book, always with affection and admiration. Very frenemies of them <3. Btw, just let me say this: it's really funny that people were shocked when Lestat let Armand get close to him and DRINK his blood, when he hadn't let anyone else. That's the thing, I don't even think it was because it was Armand, I honestly think that if any of them (Marius, Louis, Gabrielle) had tried, Lestat would have let them too, but nobody dared after he destroyed a vampire who tried. Maybe he just didn't want a complete stranger trying to take advantage of him while he was in a coma…? Ouch, but anyway, another Lesmand moment for our happiness.
I'm genuinely curious to know what direction Armand will take now, after an obvious rejection from Jesus Christ himself. If this had happened at any other time in his life, I'd be sure that Armand would have completely lost his mind and all meaning in life, but I doubt that this will happen now that he has his children (in whom he has finally found a healthy love). So, I'm left wondering how he's going to cope with everything and I'm waiting for my answers in the next books, even though I know he'll appear again from time to time.
This is definitely my favorite of the Vampire Chronicles and I'm so glad I finally read it!
