#armiehmmer

[famedchalamet-blog]

text | Armie

Timmy: Right, well, here's a preview.

Timmy: I could bring you to your knees with just a few words, but I'll let you keep your pride and just wait until you're already on your back.

[famedchalamet-blog]

text | Armie

Timmy: So a guy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last one in the and does the same. The bartender asks him, "Why did you do that?" And the guy replies, " Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!"

[crystalmxo-blog1]

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

i’d want to wake up and be able to...probably levitate. like in the original charmed. because i kind of feel like it’s relaxing, and i’d love to be as relaxed as possible.

[flynnpls-blog]

[text] count me there for sure! i wouldn’t miss it for the world.

[ text ]: wife’s boyfriend, you’re gonna make me emotional. stop it! but seriously, thank you so so much, man. i really would love to have you there on our special day. you have no idea how much you mean to both of us. and bring the kids!! i would love it if they came too. 

[acycias-archive]

#

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

(text:) did you know that female kangaroo's have 3 vaginas?

[cara-x-delevingne]

☎️

☎ for a RUSHED text

[text] Bitch I can’t even, THE MONKEY’S LITERALLY RIDING AN ALLIGATOR*quits in the middle of a serious texting thread to film the video*