#aro in fandom

[sillybilly-kitty]

being aro and hating amatonormativity in fandom spaces while also being a selfshipper is very funny. like no i really don’t think that every character needs to be part of a romantic ship and i think that there are so many more interesting things you can do with them than reducing them to a relationship. however ☝️ if the character is dating me then it’s fine and it will be all i talk about

[actuallysafe-for-aro]

It makes sense that I'm aro because I never understood or enjoyed shipping in fandom. Why does everyone need to be in a relationship? Why these characters when they hate eachother??

[amazingaro]

hey! i was just wondering why it is not okay to say "some aros can love" with characters like this. im arospec and in a relationship, i do have boundaries and certain acts of affections make me uncomfortable but i still do love my partner and i consider myself to be an aro who likes being in a relationship. maybe it's fairer if the people who write the character in question in a relationship with other characters if her aro-ness is visible and an important point?

It's not that it's not okay to say that "some aros can love" - it's that in this context people are using that as an excuse to erase her aromanticism. If you as an aro person want to write a character like that, go for it!* But if someone is just looking for an excuse to ship a character and ignore their aro identity, that's not cool. So yes, if they make her aro-ness visible and important, I would say that's okay, but are they really trying to represent aro people with this argument? No.

Also, it's very telling that every time a character is aro, this argument comes up. Sure, some aros can love - but why are you (general you) so obsessed with that possibility? Why can't you be happy for an aro character who doesn't want a relationship? Representation for non-partnering aros is important too!

*I do think alloro people can also write aro characters with care and depth. But let's be real, not very many alloros are going to want to do that, not when they could focus on romantic shipping. Which is the issue in this case.

Also, "some aros can love" can be alienating to loveless aros. In the same way that it sucks, as an aro person, to hear someone say "sure I'm ace but it's okay I can still fall in love," it sucks for a loveless aro to hear "sure I'm aro but it's okay I can still feel love." We don't need to prove anything. It is true that many aro people feel love! That's great! But let's not imply that aros who don't are somehow lesser or lacking. (I don't think you're doing this on purpose - but it's something to be aware of!)

[rose-gardens]

i automatically do not trust alloro people who headcanon evil/monster characters as aro but when i headcanon evil/monster characters as aro it’s sexy and cool. you know what i mean

[aspec-is-amazing]

just some thoughts as an aro who likes shipping

[united-under-skyfall]

would love to see alix finally getting the rabbit miraculous and bonding w fluff over being aro just saying...

[arofili]

Hey, so I'm beyond excited for the aspec week and I wanted to ask if there's a tagging etiquette regarding queerplatonic ships on Ao3. Do I use / or & or something else?

unfortunately there are only the / and & options on AO3 - I do wish there was something else (maybe + ?) but nope...

Personally, I just tag the ship with both symbols. So I’ll do “Legolas/Gimli” and “Legolas & Gimli,” and then in the additional tags section I’ll add “Queerplatonic Relationship.” It’s inelegant, but it works. 

Other people will just choose one symbol, whichever feels best to them. I’ve seen people say “it’s a Relationship so it doesn’t count as gen, you shouldn’t use the & symbol” which I think is some bullshit, but I also get people who say “it’s not romantic/sexual so the / symbol doesn’t work either.” There’s no real right answer, just do whatever feels right tbh.

[catsandaroaceonmain-blog]

I love it when I’m in a fandom that loves and respects platonic and familial relationships as being important. 

As an example, my main fandom has many tags for family relationships. There are blogs dedicated to these family relationships, and how amazing they are. Some people prioritize those family relationships over their “actual ships.” 

And I love that. So. So. So. Much. Just how normalized these relationships are. How most hardcore shippers for my favorite character in the fandom analyze and figure out the dynamics in terms of the family relationships, because we all know she would put family above her romantic relationships.

And that’s usually my criticism and complaints with a lot of fandoms I’m in, and how they forget or downplay the importance of nonromantic relationships, etc. I love ships and shipping, just....Not when they are made automatically more important than everything else.