一点碎碎念some random thoughts
因为看到官方说columbia是和harlequin的年纪是差不多的，生日是一月五号。我其实之前是有种columbia会比jester年纪大一点，会像jester、harlequin的姐姐的感觉：D
I saw the official info saying Columbina is around the same age as Harlequin, with her birthday on January 5th.I actually used to imagine Columbina being a little older than Jester, kind of like an elder sister figure to both Jester and Harlequin :D
然后外加最近在画columbia的私设和同人，所以想要碎碎念一些东西。
Also, I’ve been working on my personal designs and fan art of Columbina lately, so I just feel like rambling a little about it.
一个是为@ommiotta 的au——the freak hotle画的同人columbia。
One is a fanart of Columbina I drew for @ommiotta’s AU — The Freak Hotel.
因为翻看了之前的问答说会和pierrot、harlequin一样作为门童，所以跟pierrot、harlequin的衣服制服靠拢一些，还想着俏皮一点。
I went back and checked our earlier discussion, and it said she would also work as a bellhop just like Pierrot and Harlequin. That’s why I made her uniform style closer to theirs, while also trying to give her a more playful vibe.
然后因为年纪在还没设定出来的时候，还想画酒店au同人的角色之间互动想着jester在里面压力大的时候，columbia会像是那种姐姐安慰弟弟的互动꜀(˘꒳˘ ꜀)
Back when their ages hadn’t been officially confirmed yet, I was planning to draw some interactions for the hotel AU fan content. I imagined that when Jester was feeling stressed in this setting, Columbina would comfort him just like an elder sister looking after her younger brother.꜀(˘꒳˘ ꜀)
衣服是找了一些门童制服参考然后外加一些其他的复古款的制服领子结合的，效果意外的挺好ʕ ◦`꒳´◦ʔ
I referenced some bellhop uniforms for the outfit, then blended in collars from other vintage-style uniforms. The result turned out surprisingly nice ʕ ◦`꒳´◦ʔ
然后鞋子，一开始就想着是画普通款式，但是画着画着就莫名很想给columbia加燕子的元素。
As for the shoes, I originally planned to draw a plain simple style, but halfway through painting, I suddenly felt like adding swallow motifs for Columbina for no reason at all.
I guess I just let my personal preference take over (:з」∠)
燕子能够代表希望、自由，外加燕子在我学到的大多数文学里是蕴含着春天的信使，告诉人们春天来了。从冬天过去、春天来了，是一种四季轮回、新生发芽。
Swallows symbolize hope and freedom. Besides, in most literary works I’ve read, they are regarded as the messengers of spring, bringing people the news that spring is coming.The transition from the end of winter to the arrival of spring represents the cycle of seasons and the birth of new life.
然后创作死去的角色的同人也算是另外一种让角色可以新生发芽。
Creating fan art for deceased characters is also another way to let them gain a new lease on life and bloom anew.
Though the swallows I drew are a bit hard to recognize (･∞･ﾐэ )Э
然后绑在头发的东西，我是参考了格桑花来画的（我另外一个columbia的私设也有这个元素）
The hair accessory she’s wearing was inspired by the Gesang flower.This element also appears in my other personal design for Columbina.
格桑花是波斯菊的在西藏的另外一种叫法，“格桑”在藏语里表示“美好时光”或者“幸福”，象征美好与希望。
The Gesang flower is the Tibetan name for cosmos. In the Tibetan language, "Gesang" means "wonderful time" or "happiness", and it symbolizes beauty and hope.
因为光是看游戏的day2，就感觉角色里就是一种苦苦的感觉，画格桑花和燕子算是个人对columbia的一点小祝福吧，希望苦难、难过的日子过去，会有个自由又美好的解脱。
Just from watching Day 2 of the game, I can feel an underlying sense of sorrow surrounding this character. Drawing cosmos flowers and swallows is my little personal blessing for Columbina. I hope all her suffering and sad days will pass, and that she can find a free and peaceful release in the end.
然后说关与我画的私设columbia的碎碎念，形象是画好了，但是有些设想我一直在改。
Just rambling a little about my personal design for Columbina. I’ve already finished her design look, but I still keep changing some of my original ideas for her.
因为我的私设columbia的想法是，作为灵魂飘荡在世间，可能因为思念和放不下一直作为灵体在马戏团里看着其他小丑们，但因为是灵体所以其他人都看不到columbia。
My personal headcanon for Columbina is that she wanders the mortal world as a spirit. Haunted by longing and unresolved attachments, she lingers inside the circus as a ghost, watching over the other clowns, yet no one is able to see her at all because she is just a spirit.
虽然原作背景官方还没有完全发布完整版的，但是看了一些同人分析。大多数分析也都是在说columbia是不愿意被献祭掉的，然后还有的说会和j的关系也不好什么什么之类的。
Although the official complete backstory of the original game hasn’t been fully released yet, I’ve read quite a lot of fan theories and analyses.Most of them suggest that Columbina was unwilling to be sacrificed, and some also mention that her relationship with Jester wasn’t very good, and so on.
导致我不知道该怎么想自己私设的columbia会抱着什么的心态去和其他小丑们互动，因为关系不好的话，可能不会选择呆在马戏团游荡看着小丑们，可能会独自去很多很多地方。
This leaves me unsure what kind of mindset my personal version of Columbina would have when interacting with the other clowns. If their relationship was bad, she probably wouldn’t choose to linger around the circus watching them, and would instead wander off to many places all alone.
然后我还画的小漫画，我在想怎么修改，画的内容是columbia怎么变成了如今的形象的，一直还在纠结。
I’ve also drawn a short comic about how Columbina turned into her current form, but I’m still stuck and thinking about how to revise it.
我大概想的是columbia因为不想被献祭、不想死去又或者说她自己也知道这是无可避免的最优解了，但是怨恨的情绪也会大过于情意。但当真的死后解脱，爱恨情仇可能都不重要了。
My general idea is this: Columbina didn’t want to be sacrificed, nor did she want to die. Even though she deep down knew it was the inevitable best outcome, her resentment still outweighed her affection for others.But after she finally passed away and found liberation, all the love, hatred, joy and sorrow no longer mattered anymore.
_(:з」∠)_最近用的vpn有点问题，这几天经常有网络波动，不好登录tumblr。不过刚好我想试试要不上任何社交平台一些时间然后看看期间能完成多少画。
(:з」∠)My VPN has been acting up lately, I keep getting network fluctuations these days and can barely log into Tumblr. But it’s actually a good chance for me to take a break from all social media for a while, and see how much artwork I can finish during this time.
因为我有一些关与tfc oc、kom oc的设定想法；可能还有几个手书（还在研究怎么画）；harlequin的生日生日贺图；其他零零散散的同人图。还是满多想法想画的，不过就是我的画画速度不是很能跟上。
I have tons of setting ideas for my TFC OC and KOM OC, plus a couple of hand-drawn animation drafts that I’m still figuring out how to draw. I also need to finish the birthday illustration for Harlequin, along with some other random fan art pieces. There are so many things I want to create, but my drawing speed just can’t keep up with all my ideas.
：D我记得应该是叫粉丝挑战的吧，想试着把小丑们拟成猫猫来画画试试，在画草稿的时候觉得jester很适合这个猫猫的样子，一副傲娇的小表情
:D I think it’s called a fan challenge. I want to try drawing all the clowns as cats. While sketching, I felt Jester fits the cat vibe perfectly, with that classic tsundere little expression on his face.
