suguru in his 3rd year going through an unmasking phase (after being pulled back from the edge of mass murder by satoru and shoko) where he's super exhausted, tired of trying to be sociable and respectful to people who dont respect him, and so he quits pulling his punches so much. he's extra mean and irritable for a while and only really enjoys talking to satoru and shoko anymore.
satoru and shoko are understanding (they hate people too) and just let him do his thing until he's got all the emotional toxins out of his system and reaches a new balance within himself
it goes like one of those videos where a person walks up to someone's dog and goes "aww can i pet him? he looks so nice!" and the owner tries to warn them that "oh, no, he's really not" before the dog immediately goes batshit insane
headcanons about how my apprentice and the main 6 view life as a whole. because i got the idea in my head. i think this makes sense
Esme sees the world as a bad place, but individuals can make it better
After a stressful childhood which ended rather unfortunately, Esme grew resentful of the people and potential forces that made it that way
For much of her life she sees the world as an unfair place without true justice or karma — if there are higher beings, they are either uncaring or cruel
But she knows for a fact that there are good people out there, and she'd be doing them a disservice to forget them and say everything is all bad
One way Esme grows through and post-route, is improving her outlook on life and humanity as a whole, becoming less withdrawn and spiteful, more open
Julian's outlook is sort of the inverse of Esme's — the world is a good place overall, with some individuals and things that make it worse... (hear me out)
He very much loves the world and humanity. He likes people and he likes new experiences
This sounds very positive but you must remember that Julian views himself as one of these bad individuals
Julian does know that things can be unfair and unsafe at times - he's seen a lot of good people struck with misfortune, or even lose their lives
But he doesn't really feel spiteful or resentful of the world as a whole. It's just how fate can turn out (he also tends to find some way to blame himself)
Julian grows by learning to love himself — or at least not hate himself. Self-love might be something he will always be chasing, though. But as long as he doesn't give up that chase, he'll be okay
Asra views the world as just another place, and people are either good or bad, most in between
He likes the world fine, but his experience with the realms means his world is not just larger, but only one of many
He doesn't fully understand ALL magic, but he's close with it in a way where he sees that “fair” and “unfair” aren't always things that apply. “Good” and “bad” are nuanced. The world is colorful yet gray
Sees it as up to each individual to decide what they want and how much they can take. At least on a subconscious level, he thinks that whether he sees someone as good or bad is mostly a matter of his own conscience
He does need to remember that, if everything depends on his own conscience, then he doesn't have control over a lot outside of that
He also needs to maintain balance between all of his worlds - nothing wrong with not wanting to be shackled to one spot or a life you don't want, as long as you don't lose sight of the people in your life.
Portia has the same outlook as her brother, just minus the self-hate
She loves the world, people, and herself
It's not to say she doesn't also get her own negative streaks, but overall she likes who she is
She feels like there's excitement around every corner - and if there isn't, you can make some! (she loves books partly for this reason)
Nadia is in the unique position of having a significant amount of power over a portion of the world (even if it's a relatively small portion)
It's less about how the world inherently is, but how it currently is and what she can do to affect that
If Vesuvia is a microcosm of the world and Vesuvia is corrupt or unjust or bad, then she’ll change that. So she'll change the world
She also isn't among the people, so she isn't exactly a good judge of whether they're good or not. She can definitely say that the upper class is full of not-so-great individuals, but that makes up a minority
She knows that a ruler is nothing without her people
She's been fairly self-actualized since she was a kid, but she lost a bit of that during the plague - though post-route, she's even more of a force to be reckoned with (in a good way)
Muriel doesn't really care about how the world at large is — he's not very interested in traveling, meeting people, or experiencing new things
He's only focused on his life, and maybe the lives of those immediately around him
If it's just about his life, then he thinks it's pretty bad
He managed to find some peace and fulfillment living in nature on his own, but his childhood as an orphan and then a gladiator stains his view of his surroundings
He isn't trusting of others or really even himself.
He loves animals because they're far easier to understand than humans - and if they hurt you, you can find out exactly why
Though he doesn't really see use of asking “why” any of that had to happen to him, because he doesn't think that much about justice — perhaps because thinking too much about it will make him start feeling worse, and he'd rather just forget
Nothing wrong with wanting to live quietly, but he could definitely become more in touch with his emotions and processing his trauma
He, too, judges people not on some overarching moral about how one should be, but more just on his own conscience - for example, he doesn't like Esme/MC at first, not because he thinks they're really a bad human, but for purely personal reasons.
Lucio doesn't really care about whether the world is good or bad
Like Nadia, he has an effect on the world around him, and that's what he sees
He thinks there's a lot of fun to be had and a lot of boring and bothersome things he’d like to get rid of
It's not about whether the people around him are good or not, it's about how they treat him and what they can do
If it's not his world, then it really ought to be
He'd agree with Asra as well, in that he believes it's up to individuals how they treat the world and their own lives
He believes in being the change you want to see, though he doesn't generally take into account what anyone else wants to see - for sure something to work on
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
“For a while there, I didn't even think I'd make it to eighteen,” Suguru admits. “Let alone nineteen. I felt so awful for what seemed like forever back then, like it'd never end. And yet… here I am.”
Satoru grins and tosses his hands up in the air celebratorily. “Here you are!”
Suguru's smile is unbelievably soft when he turns his gaze back to Satoru. He folds his arms on the chabudai. “And with nowhere else I'd rather be.”
Satoru's heart stutters in his chest.
Or, Suguru's birthday is coming to a close, and Satoru has something important to tell him. Like, life-or-death important.
okay so this is late 😭 but we're gonna be okay. i didn't start writing this until the day before his birthday. but i wrote one for gojo's so i'll be dammed if i don't write one for geto day.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
“Painting can only do so much for real life. Even if I spent years on this one, I could never get it a hundred percent right… I'd just keep painting for infinity.”
“I don't want to sit here for infinity, Suguru.”
Suguru chuckles. “Don't worry. I'm leaving it imperfect.”
“Hm,” Satoru hums. “I dunno. It looks pretty beautiful to me.”
wc: 3,113
in which gojo models for an art student geto's portrait. just fluff here, barely suggestive (but it is a little bit)
Hey hey, how about any three questions you'd most like to answer for the apprentice ask game :)
(from this ask game) im sorry it took so long for me to get to this !! i didn't see it at first, and i was suddenly hit with the pain of not wanting to write anything at all 😭 tysm for the ask <3
#1
this one is the reason i thought to do this. it's funny because this literally does happen to esme pre-plague
Asra ditches her there. "ditch" is a harsh word but basically, thats what happens. it's not out of malice, but he's definitely for the breeze and enjoys the secrecy and mystery of the masquerade. he likes the idea of dancing with people you've never met and will never see again (the masquerade reminds me of mardi gras in that way).
He asked beforehand if she was okay with it, and Esme said she was (she wasn't). she wasn't really interested in going around on her own, so she took it pretty personally, internalizing it in typical pre-route Esme fashion. but this is actually how she met Julian! she'd gone out onto a palace veranda for some air, where Julian just so happened to be hiding from Lucio. they became surprisingly fast friends, and the rest is history
#4
Esme and self-esteem have a complicated relationship. she's not That insecure, all things considered. not about her appearance, anyway, or other traits like her voice and fashion sense. she's rather indifferent toward those things in general. compliments usually feel empty to her, purely because she connects so little with other people. but she definitely has her moments...
There are moments where her ego inflates, and thus becomes susceptible to shattering. most often this happens when someone criticizes or patronizes her. if you insult her enough, she might outright say "I am better than you" when she otherwise wouldn't even think that. and god forbid someone Close to her insults her, because she will, at best, take it to heart and get depressed.
this is all to say that, when you strip away everything else, her self esteem is pretty apparently low. she unconsciously craves validation nearly as much as Julian does (causing them both to become praise machines and constantly try to one-up each other's compliments)
#8
Esme is fairly reserved on the outside. but internally, she wants to express all of the very deep affection she has for her friends. it just takes her some time to figure out what that looks like for her. turns out, it looks like being in physical contact with the person of her affections, as frequently as possible. resting her head on someone is common. all of this is cranked to 100 when she's with Julian. also, whenever she writes letters, she takes the opportunity to share just how much she appreciates the friend she's writing it to. (this affection doesn't extend to people she isn't close to)
