Sometimes the discourse around Snape and Lily very much reminds me of ‘male loneliness epidemic/ incel’ talking points.
That women are responsible for the emotional wellbeing of maladjusted men.
It bears similarities! I think because culturally we're taught that women should be caretakers, particularly to men, and that the inner lives of men are much richer, complex, and worthwhile than women's. We're taught to empathise with men and see women as objects. And that idea is much, much older than the incel movement or the so-called 'male loneliness epidemic,' so it just all kind of stems from the same place. Like basically I don't think it's coming from incels haha rather just general cultural attitudes towards women.
It's particularly sad when you see this attitude from other women, though, and it's sad knowing that in the end it won't help them. I think there's a lot of social pressure on women to separate themselves from what they see as 'bad women' which is why you see women judging other women soooo harshly all the time. It's kind of a 'but I'm not like that' kind of thing. I dislike the term 'pick-me' because I think it puts the blame on women and has kind of become a misogynistic term in itself at this point but you do see this a LOT, especially with women on the right who seem to actively work against their own interests. It's a form of self-hatred and it's sad to see.
Anyway, that was a bit of a tangent, but my point is that I think it is an issue that people seem so unable to empathise with women (whether real or fictional) and over-identify with men. I know I bring up Amber Heard a lot but it's just such a clear cut example. Hordes of women believing that they know this man, that he could never be like that, so obviously she must be a lying manipulative bitch. They see what they want to because of their presuppositions about men and women.
Like I see a lot of people saying they think it's 'unrealistic' for Lily to have been kind and selfless. I'm sorry but that seems very indicative of how you feel about women in general, because it's not any less realistic for Lily to be selfless than it is for Harry to be sefless (and he is.) And as we see with Harry, a generally selfless person can have moments of ego, flaws, mistakes, be less than perfect at times, even act selfishly on occasion-- that's just part of being human. When I say Lily was selfless I don't mean she was a flawless perfect saint (so tired of this btw.) Her being selfless doesn't preclude her being flawed.











