[brody/cody] "Are you going to break her heart again?"
Alot of things bothered Cody, mostly because she was a self proclaimed‘miserable, short-tempered bitch’, but anyone who knew her even theslightest bit was entirely aware of how much she hatedpeople knowing her business. She always made a habit of keeping everyslight detail about her personal life private,and the prospect of people knowing what a royal fuck up she waswithout her having told them herself was generally not a pleasantthought.
Muchto her own disgust, however, she couldn’t be mad at Brody, and shedefinitely couldn’t bemad at Rachel. She hadbroken Rachel’s heart – and her own in the process – and shestill couldn’t figure out how she’d been so lucky as to have theother girl forgive her. Rachel was about as messy and complicated asherself, and she loved every aspect of the other girl with every beatof her seemingly icy heart. But love wasn’t always enough, she knewthat. It hadn’t been enough the first time around when she hadscrewed Rachel over. It hadn’t been enough to convince the girl thatyes, she had beenlying the whole time, but no thatdidn’t mean all of it was an act.
Ofcourse, things had worked out. They were back together and she hadRachel’s trust once again – or at least, more of her trust than shecould ever rightfullyexpect – and, from what Cody could tell about herself, they werehappy. Embarrassingly so. But she didn’t have a right or wrong answerfor Brody. She was going to try her best to treat Rachel right, togive her everything that she deserved and more. She didn’t wantto break her heart, but how could she know what the future held? Wasthat the cynic in her, that believed anything could go wrong? Shewanted to believe that everything would go smoothly from thereon out,but she had very little faith in her own ability to do the rightthing, to be good enough,that she doubted she would ever be the best fit for somebody likeRachel.
“Honestly,man?” she questioned, lifting her gaze to meet Brody’s. She hadbeen staring at her feet, standing there awkwardly in front ofRachel’s cousin. She was never awkward,and she didn’t just gape at the ground like a shy child. But here andnow, talking to Brody about Rachel, she felt vulnerable, nakedalmost. “I don’t know. I could tell you that I’ll never break herheart and that I’ll love her until my dying day, but I can’t promiseyou that.”
Lettingout a shaky breath, she found her hands nervously pulling on the endsof her dyed hair. Clenching them into two tight fists, she shovedthem into the pockets of her jacket, and paused to clear her head.
“Ilove her, Brody. I love her so fucking much,and I’m telling you this against my better judgement, or whatever,because I, ugh, Ifucking trust you, alright?” The words spilled out from her in achaotic fashion, the latter end of the sentence being snapped towardsthe man before her. She wasn’t intentionallybeing rude, but she was nervous and she had a distinct habit of neverletting herself feel anxious or worried. Or at least, she tried notto let it show.
“I’mgonna love her in every single way that I can, okay?” she sighed,any trace of hostility long gone. Her eyes were pleading now, herhands trembling in her pockets. She silently implored for him tounderstand. She could never find the right words to explain how shefelt, didn’t he fucking understand that? Jesus. “I never wanna hurther again. I hate that I even have to fucking say again.I would give anything to take that back, to undo the damage that Idid, but all I can do now is… I dunno, fucking tryand love her the way that she deserves, and just… hope that that’senough, I guess.”
