“Are you always this prone to bad luck and violence? If so, that’s kind of sad.” - AsaSouHaru
Asahi stared down at the two men sprawled on his kitchen floor. He should be worried. Or frantic. Or ready to call the cops or something. Should be working himself into a state of sheer panic. He really really should. Except this is the third time this week he’s walked into his kitchen and found these two men on the floor. At least tonight there were only a couple small scrapes that he could see. The second time there had been more blood on his kitchen floor than he had seen for a very long time. The first night his kitchen floor had been covered in what he was still going to pretend he believed was nothing but mud. Just mud. That’s all it was.
Sousuke groaned and rolled onto his stomach and Asahi winced at the angry red scrape across his bare back.
“Are you two always this prone to bad luck and violence?” Asahi had to ask. “If so, that’s kind of sad.”
“Bad luck.” Haru raised his hand into the air and then let it flop heavily onto Sousuke’s back, barely missing the scrape.
“Violence,” Sousuke muttered into the floor.
Asahi watched them, sprawled out on his floor and wondering how much bleach and cleaning solution he could buy before he started getting questions he couldn’t answer, before he finally coughed politely and said, “You know. I really should call the cops or something.”
Haru lifted his head slightly and made a face at Asahi.
“Oh if Rin answers tell him that I forgot to buy milk,” Sousuke said, flapping his arm towards Asahi.
“Why am I not surprised you know the cops?” Though he couldn’t really say much. He knew some as well back home. It was helpful on occasion.
“Can we not call Rin?” Haru asked. “He’s on duty with Kisumi and I’m not drunk enough for that.”
“You’re not even drunk,” Sousuke grumbled. Asahi was beginning to think that all Sousuke really knew how to do was grumble and growl and mumble and scowl out his words.
“Exactly.”
A thought suddenly occurred to Asahi. It wasn’t the worst thought but it was a little bizarre considering the way he’d found the other two the few nights.
“Please tell me you’re not cops.”
Haru snorted at that and then started laughing. It was a brilliant laugh that made Asahi smile in return.
“I,” Haru said as he struggled to push himself up to a seated position, “am a chef.”
“And you?” Asahi nudged Sousuke’s hip with his foot.
“I’m an assassin.”
The panic that should have set in days ago or even earlier this evening washed over him in a sudden wave and Asahi swallowed at the sudden dryness in his throat. Asahi blinked rapidly and looked at Haru for help. Or an explanation. Or a sudden burst of laughter. Even a smirk.
“Uh. What?”
Haru snorted again, but this time Asahi was pretty sure it was because of his reaction and not Sousuke’s words.
He jumped and spun on his heel in alarm when his phone started ringing. He snatched it off the table.
“You’re on deck,” the man on the phone said. Asahi ended the call without saying a word and set his phone back down.
“Okay. As fun as this has been you have to find a new place to crash for the next two to six weeks. Because I will not be here and this place will be locked down and you do not want to piss off my lock down crew by showing up bloody and bruised and unannounced.”
“So we have to wait two to six weeks to see you again?” Sousuke rolled over again and looked up at Asahi and Asahi found out that Sousuke could, in fact, do something other than growl and scowl and grumble and mumble. Sousuke could, in fact, pout. Haru sat beside him on the floor and tilted his head and it reminded Asahi so much of one of Daichi’s puppies that he felt his heart melt a little.
“Are you seriously telling me that you keep coming back, beaten and bruised, to my house because you want to see me again?”
Sousuke shrugged. “Seemed easy enough?”
Asahi thought about that for a minute. And then thought about it a minute more.
“You know what. This is a problem for future me. Present me has too much to focus on to deal with-” he waved at the kitchen and the two men sitting on the floor and the general state of all of it “-this.” He headed to his bedroom to grab his bag and double check he was good to go. “You have like forty minutes before I’m out and I can no longer guarantee your safety,” he called over his shoulder.
Sousuke sat up and leaned against Haru’s shoulder. He poked lightly at Haru’s cheek until Haru tilted his head away.
“Worth it,” he asked Haru as they stared down the hallway towards Asahi’s room.
“Gonna be,” Haru replied. “But did you have to lead with assassin?”
