𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖍𝖎𝖒
*i don’t own this gif nor did i make it
imma cut it here because MAJOR BANANA FISH SPOILERS BELOW
a/n now that that’s out of the way ive been feeling sad and since i cant cry so here you go. im very sorry but i was listening to mr loverman and it just inspired me. also i feel for those recovering from banana fish, im just so numb it doesn’t hurt anymore.
warnings: angst with no fluff, major character death, swearing, suicide attempt
eiji found himself back home looking at a picture of him and ash with a grin bearing his face thinking fondly of his time in america. as much pain he went through, he got to meet ash and that made him feel as though he’d do it all again. he went to unpack his clothes whilst thinking of all the places he wanted to take ash when he came to visit. wondering about all the cuisine and experiences he should show him but he has all the time in the world to do that when ash comes.
he had arrived early in the morning so he knew ash’d be awake so he went to visit ibe’s house to get him to call ash since eiji lost his number somehow.
they sat there and waited for ash to pick up but it happened to be in vain as it just went to voice mail. instead he got a call from charlie which was bizarre as everything was finished, he was probably checking in anyways.
eiji sat there watching ibe’s face drop curious to what’s happened. he told charlie to pause and then turned to eiji.
‘ash won’t becoming to japan eiji’
‘huh? why, if it’s money i can pay for it!‘
‘ash has passed away’
‘are you sure? he was fine last time we saw him! im sure if we call him again he’ll pick up!’
‘ h- he got stab-’
‘NO. he promised me he’d come here s- surely t-they’ve mistaken him with some else. HE. IS. ALIVE. w-we went through all that, HE went through all of that shit that life threw him and he kept going so you’re telling me that a measly KNIFE was his downfall. bull shit.’
as he proclaimed this, tears were rolling down his face endlessly, his body racked with sobs so violently. charlie winced on the other end of the phone hearing the turmoil the poor boy was going through. eiji curled up on the floor and just kept crying, he couldn’t stop and didn’t want to stop as he didn’t want to think about a world without ash. he kept looking at the photo of the pair of them and each time he saw ash’s face he felt as though his heart was being wrenched out by some horrid creature over and over again.
ibe struggled with how to comfort him. sometimes going to hold the grief-stricken young man or just leaving a bowl of ramen which soon piled up outside of eiji’s door as he wouldn’t touch it. the first two weeks he was bedridden not eating nor sleeping. it got so bad to the point where ibe had to force feed him as eiji had simply lost the will, lost the ability to care because what was there to care about anymore? ash? he just simply left him choosing to stay in that measly library instead of fighting leaving eiji to live a life without him.
when the tears stopped flowing eiji’s pain turned into anger at ash and the stupid people in the library. how the fuck do you not see someone bleeding out? it was THEIR FAULT. then anger at the guy who stabbed ash, he didn’t even care to think of his name as he didn’t deserve that respect. then lastly anger at himself. he was so fucking dumb to leave ash, he knew that he had lost so many people he cared about and he still had the cheek to leave ash there all by himself.
then one day it got to the point that eiji wanted to see ash again and decided that they could meet again in another world and when he was in the bath he sunk lower and lower hoping to fall into ash’s embrace. he saw a light that slowly morphed into ash’s face but it was fading mouthing the syllables,
‘sa-yo-na-ra’
he was met with ibe’s face mixed with worry, pain and guilt. how could he have been so naive to leave eiji for that long? after that, seeing ash’s face whether real or not that stitched a tiny piece of his heart again and although eiji believed he would never be happy again he decided he would try. for ash.