#asiyaali

[asiya-ali]

🌙 I find that at night time my thoughts become easier to articulate and make sense of. So I like to write poetry when it reaches past midnight, it helps me 🌌🌃 But alas, I have a job that I need to wake up and be at before 8am...

[asiya-ali]

aiaiaiaiaiaia✹✺❈ ~

... I am so unorganised it is not even remotely laughable. And it’s such a shame too as I’m letting my self and others around me down. People are aware of my other good qualities, such as my enthusiasm and persistence, so they end up expecting better, but I find it so hard to even get myself together and it is really ruining a lot for me.

Starts off with the small manageable stuff - coming in late, library books due, AV equipment needing to be returned - then missing lectures, not reading the unit assignments, then not even checking my timetable two weeks in a row, but having a vague assumption about what the schedule is and ending up missing a vital, key event. ugghh....

Don’t even get me started on painting yet. I had something for a while, like a slow tide of inspiration and energy lapping back and forth that’s receeded for the last few days, making me stranded.

I promise I’ll do good this year, I need to put forth my actions, be the person and artist I want to be...

[asiya-ali]

For me, getting inspired and thinking up ideas for art is to be submerged in a container of water that's still getting filled up. I'm disorientated from the moving waves, heavy-eyed and water-logged. The sounds around are dense and one movement makes many ripples, which while tangible, disappear in a few short seconds, lost. The first concept or thought immediately is followed by ten more before I can even process the first one, leaving me overwhelmed. I think when I am trying to make an idea I enter this state where I am "underwater". Everything's moving so slow and the surrounding environments heightened ten times than normal, and I'm just trying to take it all in. And all the while, above flocks of people (artmakers) are swimming speedily along closer to the surface, reminding me that I have got to swim too, but the view below has captured me, holding me back. I find it so hard to get past this sensory overload that clogs my mind with fear 🌊