#ask cthulhu

[cthulhu-blog]

hi cthulhu, whats the best time to go, u know, crazy?

cheers

Greetings, mortal being.

It is always a good time to descend into utter madness and chaos.

There is no need to fake being crazy, let insanity fill your veins.

[askcthulhuthelibrarian]

I Really Should Start Charging for My Advice

Students cheating on tests, unholy rent prices, and insufferable customers, all events my cultists should be able to handle, but it is nice to feel needed.

[waywardmasquerade]

If you could ask Bagthulhu a question or a boon, what would it be?

Order your very own bundle of eldritch horror here

[norse-witchery]

I was going to work on my altar today...

[cthulhu-blog]

o great Cthulhu you were right, i survived the monday! now i gotta deal with tuesday tomorrow

Greetings and congratulations, mortal being.

You proved yourself worthy of dealing with the weight of time once, and if you are persistent and strong enough, you will deal with it again tomorrow.

And again, and again, and again until the death of time itself.

[cthulhu-blog]

Hi Cthulhu I need ur help, i got a crush on someone and dont know how to deal with it, pls any advice thx

Greetings, mortal being.

Let me remind you that feelings (did I write it right?) are a trivial, thus unbeknownst concept for me.

You have devoted to someone way beyond your logical means, but it is unknown to you if they devote you back, I guess.

Have you considered treating them like a deity? Praise them, make them feel that they have the power to destroy your mind and soul, but they will destroy themselves while trying.

[cthulhu-blog]

Do not ask the artificial intelligence.

Do not ask the oracle.

Ask me.

[cthulhu-blog]

well cthulhu are you awaken or dead or what?

Greetings, mortal being.

I am not dead or alive, but a third secret state.

Have you ever heard the tragedy of a 'cat' that is inside a box, but nobody knows if the 'cat' is alive or not until the box is open? Something like that.

I hope my answer fulfills your curiosity.