#ask eggmole

[eggmole-official-blog]

does anyone here eat eggs

Me. I love eggs, in fact, and have plenty from my crows. Eggs.

#—Log 020, 08:30 13-10-42

[eggmole-official-blog]

How can so much evil be contained in such a small body?

I have a very high smartness level! Now get me snacky!

#—Log 030, 15:03 4-11-42

[eggmole-official-blog]

Taking your crows through a CIA level reprogramming and deprograming course

- 🃏

The crows are working. There's no such thing, not anymore, I got rid of it. You're clearly losing yourself.

#—Log 017, 07:22 04-09-42

[eggmole-official-blog]

do any of the workers at the rat barn know about your intelligence? or do they just think you're a precious little creature?

None of the workers know, but one biped does know. The red one. Nobody believes him, of course, but he knows. He's seen my secret den, he knows I have things that were once his, but to the workers, he is simply a child with a big imagination.

#—Log 015, 07:21 30-08-42

[eggmole-official-blog]

why the name "badniks"? doesnt sound like anything to do with eggmole

I'll have you know that, while I am dubbed Eggmole, my cage has a thing on it that says "Ivo Starnik", which is my name on the Rat Barn's website. Also, calling a murder of crows "Badmoles" seems dumb. They're not moles, theyre crows.

#—Log 014, 11:23 29-08-42

[eggmole-official-blog]

I said the crows but never necessarily your crows. I have many across the world all steeped into secret organisations, public bodies, institutions, criminal organisations and more all helping each other up and out. They have embedded themselves so completely and thoroughly within your community and will eternally sabotage your pursuits! You have treated them too poorly in the past! They come for revenge!

- 🃏

How are you so sure of any of this? I keep documents dating back to the very moment the eggs hatched for each crow, I have internal tags on all of them, I've done headcounts. I plan for these things in advance, I know when a crow goes astray. Disloyal crows have short lives. I have started altering their minds, now that I own devices. I've begun to call these crows "badniks". You think you have me down, under your thumb, but I am quick and slippery, I have plans for everything. I will always be three steps ahead of you. Submit to the empire, or suffer the crows.

#—Log 013, 05:36 29-08-42

[eggmole-official-blog]

Hi

Oh, hello! Looks like I've been discovered? Finally. Nice to speak, stranger. You are very interesting. Make yourself useful, get me more food, the pink freak isn't feeding me enough anymore.

#—Log 006, 01:17 28-08-42