Rex
Dear fives I sent you to get a cup from the store it has been a week where are you
Sincerely captain rex
Subject: RE: Cuphead
From: [email protected]
CC: [email protected] (@aknightreaderr | Ask Fives Advice Column editor)
Date: Zhellday 13 Yelona, 01:41h
(More like Hellday, right??)
Rex, my dear vod,
Firstly: what planet are you currently visiting? What timezone are you at?!? I hope it's a reasonable hour where you are, because it most definitely isn't here on Coruscant. (I am totally not working after office hours, because, as you might be aware, the Coruscant Guard doesn't do office hours. In fact, I am the only one here with an actual office, and I don't keep track of time. Time keeps track of me, and it's running me over like a fathier on a race track.)
Secondly: I'm sorry to say this isn't Fives. You've actually reached your vod Fox. I know, that might be disappointing to you, that's why I'm actually sorry for you. My most tired, caf-soaked apologies.
Thirdly: Actually, you came to the right place. If you're looking for a cup, I have a few spare ones. And I am being modest with the wording 'a few'. You know, the boys always get me mugs at every special occasion. A few days back we had such a celebration. Thorn kept calling it 'Fox Day'; I have no idea where that came from. But long story short, I have a few extras. But you can't have the 'For 🦊 Sake' one; that's mine.
Fourthly: This is more out of curiosity, but are you going to use the cup for caf? Because, well; I don't usually share my special (extra strong) blends with anyone, but since you're a close vod and you're acquainted with Fives (due to first-hand experience, I'm well aware he strongly evokes the need for caf), I might make an exception. Just this once.
FiveFiveFiveFifthly: Speaking about 5s, Fives is currently unavailable. Please do not disturb him, I need him to take care of his Tauntaun children as they are the main source of what's dragging me through the rotations (drawings; they provide me with adorable drawings; they're almost as good as caf, you should try them).
Sixthly: I am not totally useless, you know. I do know Fives' editor, and I put her in this holomail's CC for you. Mind you, that's not a promise she gets back to you. I think she's taking a well earned break, now that Fives is unavailable. He's quite the handful, as you know, so I actually really think she deserves her break. So maybe it's best to just wait until Fives returns. You know what? Come and get that cup from the Corrie Guards HQ and leave that poor editor in peace, she needs to recharge before Fives' return.
I just finished my caf so I'm going to wind up this holomail in order to see if Thire made a fresh pot, and to prevent Grizzer from finishing it before I get at least three cups from it. Let me know if you need that cup, I can get you one (or several) without Fives' interference. You know where to find me (I live behind my desk).
Reasonable regards (I don't do 'kind' because life isn't),
CC-1010 | Fox (Marshal Commander of the Coruscant Guard | Professional Caf Addict | Chronically Fatigued)
Disclaimer: Ask Fives is part of @aknightreaderr's Fives State Of Mind universe. Her event ended a little while ago, but she posts occasional tie-ins. Ask Fives 2.0 is planned for December, so stay tuned! I'm only here to add some Fox-vibes, she's the mastermind behind Fives and everything else.