Made up fic title: "I Have a Heart Full of Love and a Head Full of Dumb."
Roman might not be the best at cooking. Or at idioms. Or at… a lot of things, really. But that doesn’t matter when Patton’s there. They’re just two lovestruck idiots.
Warnings: Death, pregnancy, stealing from dead people
Word Count: 1369
Patton Sanders is trans and pregnant with his boyfriend’s child. His boyfriend, unfortunately, has died. He lives in an apartment building with his high school friend Virgil Shelley.
There is a blackout and, unknown to him, the person who lives in the apartment next door, just died. Patton was going out to get something he dropped in the hallway and the door closed. Virgil is out at work so there’s no one who can get in the apartment and he forgot his phone. Also, his water broke.
Logan is the reaper sent to collect the guy’s soul. It’s a routine procedure. Unfortunately he has to actually pop out somewhere, and the closest is in the elevator. Unfortunately, that’s where Patton is.
Logan freaks out because THIS WAS NOT COVERED and also THIS IS NOT MY JOB THIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF MY JOB. He freaks out even more when the guy waves at him. “Hi there! Are you going to help me?”
And then he freaks out for the third time because HE CAN SEE ME AND HE’S NOT DYING. He is surprisingly informed about childbirth, and knows he has time.
“Please stay calm,” he says, because that is the only thing that manages to stick in his brain at a time like this. “Apologies, but I am unable to help you. I am, however, capable of transporting you to the nearest hospital.”
Patton smiles because yes that’s a good idea. “Do you have a car or something?”
“I do not. However, I do have the means to obtain one.”
Patton is kind of worried about what exactly that is but he shrugs and smiles anyway. “Um, okay…”
Logan only just realizes that no one else can see him and this guy can (because he’s giving birth? Perhaps.) and it is a terrible idea to have him drive when he’s pregnant. Driving is not one of Logan’s skills. He sighs. This, he supposes, is an unprecedented thing in reaper history. It means another delay. It means he can take the guy’s car because he won’t be needing it now, or ever.
So long story short Logan hijacks her car and drives Patton to the hospital (badly). Drops him off there and leaves to get Shawna’s soul. When he gets back he’s reprimanded like heck.
Patton, for his part, is confused but so thankful. No one saw them. And he’s barely conscious of giving birth to a healthy little boy — he doesn’t like that, but that’s the way it is, anyway. He decided on Thomas months ago. Thomas Sanders it is.
He stays there for three days. Roman McAdams comes to pick him up because Virgil is stuck at work again. Logan is also there picking up the soul of another patient. Patton sees him and waves.
“Hi there! I’m sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Patton! Are you here to visit me?”
Logan looks around because Patton cannot be talking to him, surely… But there’s no one else around. And he did see him. (What is happening?)
“No, I am not. I do not understand.”
“What don’t you understand?”
“Anything. I need to depart. Right now.” He pulls out his scythe.
Patton backs away. “Um… where did you get that thing?”
“I am a reaper. It is my tool.”
“Uh… what? Just… careful with that! You don’t want to end up killing someone!”
“That is my job,” says Logan without a hint of sarcasm. Roman walks over, evidently curious. Logan shakes his head. “We must continue this conversation at a later date. Do you reside in the building in which I found you?”
“Yes…?” Patton nods slowly.
“Excellent. I shall be there at… 21:45, in human time.” He turns and walks away. Roman catches up to them.
“Hey, who were you talking to?”
“The guy I told you about!” Patton says cheerily. “The one that took me to the hospital?”
“Who?” Roman frowns. “There wasn’t anyone there.”
“Yes there was, silly!”
“No, there wasn’t!”
“Um, okay…?” Patton raises his hands. “Okay then.”
Roman’s an actor who does a lot of odd jobs and lives in a tiny hotel room. Tthe best driver out of all of them. Always wears the same t-shirts but has two fancy jackets from the theatre. Nonbinary, he/him or they/them.
Logan is a reaper, one of many. He became a reaper in the 1500s in exchange for forgetting his previous human life. He saw it as a win-win. He’s always known what to do, but he’s never had to deal with a human seeing him. He can’t find any mention of it anywhere. He travels mostly in Florida. He takes souls to the Underworld. He doesn’t much care for what happens next. He always wears a semi-nice suit and tie. Just otherworldly enough to be intriguing.
Patton always wears loose clothes and pastels. Very soft and kinda insecure. Loves Thomas very much.
Virgil is always wearing their uniform. They work at a series of restaurants as a waiter. Overworked, underpaid, in love with Roman. And now has to take care of Thomas. Virgil is very suspicious about Patton’s new boyfriend (or so he says) but doesn’t have time to worry. Has a tattered black jacket he wears over it when he’s off duty, with way too many patches stuck on it for his own good. Closeted.
Deceit is their vaguely chaotic and disturbing neighbour. Lives across the hall from Roman. Looks very good in Roman’s clothes. Roman is low-key jealous. Has inexplicably nice clothing. Probably has something to do with the reapers.
Remy is Logan’s boss, and surprisingly chill for a reaper. Has special markings (that signify he’s the leader of the team) that he hides behind sunglasses. Looks basic but he definitely knows when you’re going to die. Leather jacket, ripped jeans, soft black shirt. You don’t want to know what it’s made of. Obsessed with Starbucks. Will occasionally put in good words about specific baristas. He processed Logan’s request with his boss (at the time) Emile Picani’s approval. He’s promised never to tell Logan about it, and he intends to keep his promise.
Reapers in this AU don’t determine when someone dies, they just know when they will and take their souls to the afterlife, where it gets judged. Reincarnation doesn’t exist. Good souls go to the good afterlife. Terrible, irredeemable ones go to the torture place, but most go to pay for their sins as corporate workers. They do all the work for the reapers. When their term is up, they get to go to the good afterlife.
Distant ending: Patton dies and Logan goes to collect his soul. Logan realizes what happened. He cries, because he probably has at least acknowledged his feelings by this point. Patton goes to find Roman and Virgil because he really hopes he’ll actually get to see Logan and they know the truth at this point. Logan does not visit because that’s not possible. Patton goes off to find Logan. Roman wants to go with him, but Virgil convinces him that this is something Patton should do by himself.
Patton eventually runs into Remy, and asks him about Logan. Remy decides he likes this guy and gives him the same offer Emile gave Logan. Patton accepts and is sent to the team.
Remy introduces him to the team a few weeks later. Patton just waves and smiles. He doesn’t remember very much, but he’s happy to be here.
Logan is completely shocked and runs up to him.
“Salutations, Patton. Although I believe I am ecstatic at the prospect of collaborating with you—”
“Do I know you?” Patton’s not quite sure what to think right now.
In that moment, Logan’s heart breaks.
“Apologies. You do not. I see now that—” He can’t let his feelings get in the way. “That isn’t crucial. My name is Logan.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Logan!” Yes, this is the same Patton he’d fallen in love with decades ago.
“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
It’s a slow happy ending. When they both retire (Logan refuses to leave until Patton can) they go to live with Roman and Virgil and possibly Dee. Oh, and Thomas and friends.
What's your opinion on the BROTP Sabrina & Adrien? Would you ship the friendship?
I like the idea of Sabrina thinking Adrien was Chloe’s imaginary friend up until a certain point. And I also like the idea of them sharing experiences with her that no one else really gets.
Romantically, it’s a bit of an eh for me, but I do like the platonic idea.
Question about your superhero AU. You stated that Virgil has a "one sided crush" on Logan. I'm confused if that means Logan doesn't like him back or not? I've never heard the term "one sided crush", so im soRRY abOut the sTUPID QUESTION-
It’s not a bother! No, Logan doesn’t like him back (not yet, anyway, I’m not sure about the endgame ships). He’s kind of preoccupied with college and feelings. (And Roman being Roman, admittedly.)
