Ohhh, no. No, no - there are-- there are more of you?! This is proper mental - it is! I'm-- seriously, am I losing it?! There can't be this many aliens... just flying around Earth! I-- hang on. I've an idea, actually.
He 'clears his throat'.
Oy! You there! You, er... interested in... abducting some humans?! Because - get this, mate, you're going to love it: I know a reeeeeally great place, for, um... human... er... abduction. Just - down on Earth, there, actually. Yeah - just - why not pick me up - and we'll head down together, abduct a human or two! For a laugh! Come on, it'll be fun!
Wheatley: Go on and get comfy now... I've got quite a lot to say about this.
Wheatley: I'll start by saying this... I am aware that what I did wasn't right. I'm aware it was... very wrong, actually. I've had a LOT of time to think about just HOW wrong I was. Nothing but time, actually. For about 3 years, I was stuck orbiting this rock. Every time I'd pass by the Earth I'd think about it. For 3 years! And I never once started to feel better about it... I actually think I felt worse as time went on. So, believe me. I am very, very aware of what I've done.
Now, I could sit here all day and give you the rationale for why I acted the way I did. But I don't want to do that. I don't want to sound like I'm just... trying to write it off as being nothing. Like "I was such a victim, and I was completely justified!" Because it's not like that at all. I tried to hurt people. People who had done nothing wrong! ... Well... one of them had done nothing wrong. Let's be honest, the other one totally deserved it--BUT!! BESIDES THAT... The only reasoning I can give you in good conscience is that... I am a right and proper moron. But, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter WHY I did what I did, now does it? What matters is... I've done it. And I'm not proud of it. Not one bit.
I can sit up here, feeling terrible and sorry all I'd like, but, looking at things realistically, it's not going to change anything that's happened. You can't change the past. That's all already happened, hasn't it? No matter how hard I wish that I could take it all back, it's just not going to do a bloody thing. I don't … look, I really don't want it to sound like I just don't care. I do! But... I mean, augh… you can only think about something so much before it stops being helpful! I don't think it's doing ANYONE any good for me to continue to dwell on it.
Do I forgive myself... that's.... that's a bit, pointless to think about, isn't it? That doesn't matter so much, after all I'm not the one to apologize to. I didn't do myself wrong. But I was a horrible monster to her. If anyones forgiveness of me actually has value, it would be hers. But I couldn't even apologize to her if I wanted to... which I do. I want to quite badly. But... even if I did... let's say that I could apologize to her. If I did... I can't control whether or not she forgives me. Apologizing doesn't automatically mean you get forgiveness. And that's completely fair! No one involved has any obligation to forgive me at all. It doesn't matter how sorry I am or how much I regret it. That doesn't play a tenth of a part in it.
I almost think it would be selfish of me to even try to apologize at this point. Do I think reaching out and saying I'm sorry would make her feel better about what happened? Well, no. I doubt it. At that point, it'd just be for me and my closure. I don't want to subject her to percieving me again just for that. I have to consider what she would want, too. And I feel like she would just like to be left alone.
It's like... like if your high school bully reached out to you 11 years after graduation and said "Oi gov, remember all the times I flushed yer gob in the loo? Yea, dreadful sorry for that mate." like, would that make you feel better?? No, of course not! You'd be like... "why the hell is this daft codger talking to me again..." It's just not helpful to anyone!
I can't simply take back what I've done, no matter how much I want to. But I'll tell you--I'll tell you what I CAN change. I can change what I do now. My options after that day are A. carry on being a proper bellend or... or, B.... Don't. Be better. Do better. And you know… I'd like to think that I am.
Do i forgive myself? Well, the answer is no, I don’t. I don’t forgive my past self for what he’s done. That’s why I’m trying to be better, up here.
Wow that was... I know I said I had a lot to say but... that was a LOT to say. Hah... I've just thought about this so much, and never had anyone to really... talk to about it. Just sort of built up, I guess.
My ask box is open if ya wanna ask me some shit- (btw you can also ask my Wheatley, he goes by Babs cuz he’s in a baffle and we can’t call all the wheats Wheatley-)
Aughhh, Valentine's Day. The day for... you know, heart throbs like me - to - er... receive an outpouring of... um. Love. And affection. Great holiday, if I'm honest. Definitely... looking forward to it.
Actually, here's a thought: awkward laugh - there is no bloody way I could give a Valentine's gift to all of my adoring fans! Tragic! Actually-- can't... can't really give a gift to anyone, given the... er... circumstances.
Tell you what: how about... I give you these Valentine's cards I made, and you can, I dunno, distribute them to the people in your life, or something. Generous of me, I know. You're going to love them, actually. Put a lot of work into them, not trying to brag. Just-- you know - a little gift... for the fans. And the people who don't think I'm a moron. Giving back. So - if you're-- if you're one of the, er, aforementioned... Feel free to take one of these, and use it... at your leisure. You're welcome.
