#ask.mp4.txt

[rocket-ships-offline]

I really want to give you a big cookie 10 times your size

I liked this a lot, so I drew a little something earlier. It's not quite to scale, but it's close enough. Thank you, anon

[rocket-ships-offline]

Do you ever purr. Like a cat.

My hardware can sound like a purr, sometimes, especially if I get overwhelmed. It's very faint, so it's not obvious, thankfully. That could get embarrassing. It also whirs if I'm extremely comfortable and satisfied, like if I'm relaxing, but that sound is much less aggressive

[rocket-ships-offline]

why is your name “rocket-ships-offline”? what a nerdy username . Haha nerd

If you think that's bad, you should see what Cobs wanted it to be..."mephone4official." First of all, there's no way that isn't taken, and second of all, that's the most soulless username I've ever heard. I'm not a company

Anyway, my actual username is based on my favorite song. I'm not saying what it is because I will most definitely be bullied for it. I like space, I like the song, I'm associated with space and spaceships in canon; I figured it'd work. The "offline" part is partially because the particular song is old in the artist's discography, so it's on their "offline" side account, and also because it's a tech word, so it fits my whole, uh, robot thing

[rocket-ships-offline]

have you ever actually called him 'dad' or of familiar father figure name? How'd he react if you did?

Ha...Let me see. I may have slipped up a couple of times; once when I was a few months old, and then once since I've been back I think the first time I called Cobs something like that, he was doing some mechanical work on my arm. I believe I was sitting on a workbench, and he was kneeling down a bit, screwdriver in hand, and adjusting something. He was focused and firm, but not careless or rough. I remember the grip he had on my wrist vividly--the glint of his lenses, and the way his tongue stuck out the side of his mouth. Something about the moment made me feel especially safe, and I guess my database started to make some connections...I had a question, so to get his attention, I said, "Dad?" Cobs's vision shot up like a cannonball, and his hand instinctively tightened around my wrist so much that it hurt. He seemed flabbergasted for a moment, just stammering out beginnings to words, until he stopped and took a breath. Once he settled, he looked me in the eye and said slowly, "Four. I am not your 'father;' I am your creator. You don't have family." I just looked away, embarrassed, and muttered an apology. It stuck with me, so I never tried it again Until I got back, I guess, but this case was much different. I can't really remember what we were doing; I think it was some friendly banter. I'm a lot more comfortable talking back to Cobs now, and he allows a bit of attitude if it's in good fun. He has a bit of a humorous side. Is he funny? Don't ask me, I didn't say all that, but he is capable of trying to joke. I think he said something stupid, so I--without thinking--hit him with "Shut up, dad," and we both went completely silent. I coughed, he cleared his throat, and then he must've magically remembered he had some sort of time-sensitive project to work on, since he rushed off in a hurry. He didn't seem angry, if anything, he seemed...Bashful? Is that the right word? Maybe flustered, but that word's a bit strong. Well, either way, it didn't seem negative. It was definitely unexpected, but I brushed it off

Soooooo...yeah. Hope that answers your question. I might have gotten a bit carried away. Maybe I miss writing for the show, haha...

[rocket-ships-offline]

does cobs ever hug you

Never if he's sober, but he can get clingy when he's drunk. I'm not really sure if I'd describe his incoherent flailing and tugging as a "hug"; it's more like he holds me hostage in his arms. Sometimes he falls asleep like that, and it gets awkward, but thankfully he doesn't sleep for very long, even when he's not drunk. At most, I'll be stuck there for a few hours. Hmm...Actually, now that I think about it, he also does this thing that's kind of close to a hug, but not really. If we're walking somewhere together and I start wandering too far ahead, he'll grab my arm and pull me into him for a few seconds as a reminder to keep his pace. He's usually irritated when that happens, so I don't think it counts as a hug, but he's not a very affectionate person in general

[rocket-ships-offline]

are you gay

Really? This is the first question? Out of everything you could have possibly asked me, this is what you want to know? I'll give you this: look at the kinds of men I have on the show--say, Knife for example--and tell me what you think. Everybody wants a group of tough guys to humiliate at their leisure, along with some real pathetic ones to push around. It's not gay to watch dudes work their asses off for your entertainment. That's just normal. It doesn't make me gay--not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. It's not like I was fantasizing about them falling madly in love with me and fighting for my approval. That would be insane. My orientation is the least of everyone's worries. Get your priorities straight.

[rocket-ships-offline]

Greetings and salutations, Tumblr!

Haha, just kidding; imagine if I were really that corny? Anyways, hey, it's good to be here. I imagine the public has lots of questions, following my disappearance, and I guess I'm ready to face the music. Before I get into that, though, I want to establish that I am alright. I'm not in any grave danger or anything, and no, I haven't...You know...Cut the cord, as you can see. I mean, I'm not sure why anyone would think such a thing, but I know my viewers can be...Imaginative. I mean, really? Me, your dashing and charismatic host, hating myself enough to do something like that? Man, if I let you guys run the show, it'd be a snoozefest! Yeeesh!

That being said, I figured it'd be fun to get a bit of 1-on-1 interaction with you all, since the show is, uh...On a bit of a hiatus. You get to know me, from a completely safe, comfortable, and not-at-all-fabricated distance, and I get the attention I deserve! Who could turn that down? However, I know that the show, well, shows things to be a bit different from how they are for me, personally, so I should probably clarify some stuff.

I live at MeCloud again. I'd rather not give too many details, but it's not so bad...To be completely honest, I can't really remember how I ended up here, but that's nothing new for me. Anything not in my memory clearly isn't something worth remembering. I'm pretty sure the Cobs that I know uses this app when he's bored, so you might see him hassle me. Don't be alarmed, I'm used to him.

I'm hoping that talking to you all can help me reminisce on the show and remember some highlights. It's all a bit blurry for me--I can only remember bits and pieces, like Lightbulb shitting on my fucking bleachers, but I'm hoping I can recall more pleasant things.

I am an adult, both mentally and bodily. That means I can say cuss words, oooooh! Obviously, nothing I post will be too vulgar, so it's safe to assume that this blog will remain PG13. This is my first time interacting with my fans directly--at least, that I can recall, for now--so try to show me basic respect, yeah?

If you're creepy, I have this magical tool called a "block button." I hope everyone knows how to separate their fanfictions from reality, because no, I don't want to "date" any of you. Not interested, so don't even try it. I'll probably just ignore you or say no.

Other Inanimate Insanity accounts are free to interact. Although, I'll probably treat you as if you're whoever you're playing, so if you're not ready for that, I don't recommend reaching out. No censorship here, ladies and gentleman. I'm raw and unfiltered. No contracts, no lawsuits, no nothing. Interact at your own risk.

I think that's it, for now. I look forward to chatting with you all, and I hope we can have some good fun. See you next time!

[rocket-ships-offline]

I ate a really big chocolate chip cookie today and thought “damn mephone wishes he had this”

I absolutely do. I can't tell you the last time I had a cookie. I almost got Crumbl yesterday, but all of the cookies are breakfast-themed! Who in the world asked for that? If I can't get a good cookie soon, I'm going to lose my mind. I'll become a beggar on the street. Do you have a cookie to spare? Any crumb helps. I'm starving over here!!!