#ask: textmeme

[juliasolanos-blog]

send ✂ for a fucking lying text, send ❝❞ for a long fucking winded text, send ► for a fucking wrong person text, send ☢ for a fucking drunken text

send ✂ for a fucking lying text

[text] My hand’s fine! It’s so sweet of you to worry about me but I put some aloe on it after we got back to the dorm.[text] It’s my own fault for trying to carry a whole pot of ramen with one hand.

send ❝❞ for a long fucking winded text

[text] So I’m rewatching the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies and I’m still really made that Lena chose Kostos. HE’S SO BORING. And Leo is Jesse freaking Williams aka the hotness monster. Why girl, why? Also I forgot how much it seemed like they were setting things up between Carmen and her step-brother in the first book. I still find that weird, but why did they give him to Lena all the sudden? Lena already has a guy for like every summer. Why does she need so many? I feel like it really goes against the “I’m not just a typical pretty girl” thing she tries to have going on.

send ► for a fucking wrong person text

[text] Am I the only one who wasn’t aware that Leila, Benji, and Will are in some kind of poly-amorous love triangle? It’s been two months, damn they move fast.[text] Is anyone else hooking up?[text] Konnor, is everyone else hooking up and no one told us?

send ☢ for a fucking drunken text

[text] HEYYYYYY! Do you think it’s weird that we’re having a fancy cocktail party to raise money for the school? Like isn’t an endless champagne bar expensive?[text] I think Dean Corkiss just likes to party.[text] I haven’t even seen him all night.[text] RUDE.[text] He could at least show up to his own party.

[juliasolanos-blog]

✂►

send ✂ for a fucking lying text

[text] I don’t know, high school was hard. There’s never been really anything out of the ordinary about me. I mean, I got good grades but I wasn’t valedictorian or anything, and I was never big into leadership or anything when it came to clubs. I guess I was just kind of normal but not really social. I like being alone.

send ► for a fucking wrong person text

[text] No, I don’t think going to see Robin Hood Men in Tights sounds entertaining. Is this really what the drama department here is wasting money on?[text] Can’t they just pull a cliche move and put on Grease like every other school in America?

[juliasolanos-blog]

☾ ☢

send ☾ for a good fucking night text

[text] No, I don’t have any brownie mix. It’s 1am! What the hell are you making brownies for?[text] Are you high?[text] Please don’t text me at this time, I thought it was a fucking emergency. Good night and good luck with the brownies. Please don’t burn the building down.

send ☢ for a fucking drunken text

[text] How did you and Will end up as rummates?[text] Because he’s kind of 💪 and you’re kind of ✌️. It just doesn’t make ¢s.[text] I mean unless ur RA was really wasted when he made rooming assignments.

[juliasolanos-blog]

OF COURSE YOU FUCKING CAN, FUCKING WINDED, FUCKING WRONG PERSON.

send ✔ for yes of course you fucking can text

[text] Who told you, you couldn’t beat up Will?[text] Of course you could take Will in a fight. And Im not jus saying that bc it’s 2am and I want to sleep.[text] But /why/ would you beat up Will? He isn’t a bad person, he just seems to really, really want to get laid.

send ❝❞ for a long fucking winded text

[text] SO I FINALLY WATCHED STRANGER THINGS AND I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. THE SHERIFF IS LEAVING EGGOS FOR ELLE THAT MEANS SHE’S ALIVE RIGHT? WHY DID NO-ONE ASK HER MOM BEFORE THEY CONTINUED PERFORMING SCIENTIST SHIT ON HER? Am I supposed to think Nancy and Jonathan are cute together? If so I DO FUCKING NOT. Like her boyfriend is supposed to be a bad dude for being swayed by his friends but Jonathan is okay when he took porny fucking pictures of her? Honestly all the teenagers but Barb were annoying and they fucking killed her. RIP MY HEART. Why do all the people on this show all look so inbred? I LOVE HOW MANY SPARKLY LIGHTS THERE ARE. What happened between Joyce and the Sheriff? Were they a thing? Was I reading that wrong? I WANT MORE. WHY IS DUSTIN SO MUCH BETTER THAN EVERYONE? ADORABLE PEANUT.

send ► for a fucking wrong person text

[text] IF YOU AND JIMMY ARE MAKING EMPANADAS WITHOUT ME I AM NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN.

[juliasolanos-blog]

✕►☢

send ✕ for of course fucking not text

[text] You really think I’m going to a fucking poetry reading?[text] I would probably shoot myself in the head first. Why are you even going? I thought being involved was too mainstream for you or something.[text] Or is it an ideal place to pick up girls? Do lame poetry nerds swoon over girls with motorcycle jackets who are trying to give themselves lung cancer?

send ► for a fucking wrong person text

[text] I missed you at the gala, where the hell were you? All that effort to get me into a dress for nothing, Tay.[text] Will and Charlotte were asking about you, you know.[text] Did Dick ask you to flick Will’s nipples too, btw?

send ☢ for a fucking drunken text

[text] listen.[text] LISTEN![text] So I know we aren’t frends or anything but you look relly pretty tonight.[text] I just thought you should know.

[juliasolanos-blog]

❝❞ ✂

send ❝❞ for a long fucking winded text

[text] Okay so I have had a lot of champagne tonight and then a lot of shrimp to counteract the effects of said champagne but I think I think I’ve come to a conclusion that I should have come to a long time ago. I need to be more fun. I’ve spent so long trying to convince people I’m not stupid and slutty bc of bad Latina stereotypes and the fact that I was born pretty. But I had FUN tonight. And I never have fun. You know why? Because I’m always worried about the worst thing that could happen and PREGNANCY and MURDER and WHATEVER. but you’re always fun. And I think you could teach me. Please teach me how to have fun, Obi-wan? I think I really need it.

send ✂ for a fucking lying text

[text] I mean I’ve totally hooked up before, it’s not that! It’s just, I’m not really attracted to any of the guys around here. A lot of them are kind of d-bags, and the rest are kind of idiots. I mean, what’s to like?

[juliasolanos-blog]

►☢

send ► for a fucking wrong person text

[text] I told you he was an actual dick, Lei. It’s more than just his namesake.[text] I’m sorry that you had to realize it on your own though.[text] If you want, I can punch him in the fact for you.

send ☢ for a fucking drunken text

[text] I dunno why I let you get to me so much. Im’ usally so cool and calm and collected, no-one can penetrate my shell or whatever.[text] But you are just so infuriating. It’s annoying, I try so hard not to get angry. Baddddd things happen when I get angry and then you come along and fuck it all up.[text] I fucking hate you and I wish I could just nothing you.

[kelseycornerclaw]

All of the texts

♘ for a questioning text

[text to dawnie]: Do you ever wonder if Titus loves you as much as you love him? The answer is probably that Ollie still loves you more. I wonder if I could convince him to fight Titus for your affection. g2g work on that, will let you know the time and place of this brawl later.

❂ for a text about another character (you didn’t specify so yolo)

[text to dawnie]: I would like to inform you that Becca doesn’t drool and she is a naptime goddess who is a blessing to have fall asleep against your shoulder.

[text to dawnie]: Sorry about that, Becca was reading over my shoulder, but she’s not wrong. It’s not like you have anyone else lining up to fall asleep on you. Plus she smells nice.

☮ for an apologetic text

[text to dawnie]: I’m sorry I called you a loser earlier after Mario Kart. You were a loser but I should be more sympathetic to the fact that not everyone shares my mad driving skills. However, the next time you hit me with a blue shell I will not be so gracious.

ღ for a friend-crush text

[text to dawnie]: Oliver accidentally dropped his phone in our potion but would like me to tell you how cute you like today. He says that top really makes your eyes pop.

[text to dawnie]: Despite the fact that I now feel like I need to bleach my brain, that is a nice top on you.

☯ for an adoring text

[text to dawnie]: In honor of you taking the blame for that whoopee cushion in History of Magic, I’m going to list my three favorite things about you. Just be sure to recognize that this is a one time only thing and I will insult you lots next time I see you to make up for it.

[text to dawnie]: 1. You have a very pretty voice. I know usually you play instruments more than sing but when you do open your mouth it isn’t terrible.

[text to dawnie]: 2. You’re pretty funny when you aren’t trying to be. Your outraged face always makes me laugh and you and Ollie can be kind of hilarious with your pet names for each other and everything.

[text to dawnie]: 3. You’re a good friend. Not just to me but to Becks and Ollie and Aubs too. I’m lucky to have such a loyal, awesome friend even if you do have terrible taste and likes Bruno Mars.

☽ for a sleepy text

[text to dawnie]: I can’t sleep…again. I think we should try and record some kind of insomniac’s lullaby for people who just can’t go the fuck to sleep. Or they should just bring back that recording of Samuel L. Jackson reading the book. Maybe we could convince him to sing it to a melody somehow. Do you think he can sing? Just some food for thought.

✂ for a catty text

[text to dawnie]: I KNOW IT WAS YOU! Aubrey said you organized the playlist for her little dungeon part and I do not appreciate having Bruno Mars forced on my eardrums!!! PREPARE FOR REVENGE!

$ for a lying text

[text to dawnie]: Oliver said he loves Becca more than you.

♬ for a music rec or lyric text

[text to dawnie]: I was listening to Whip My Hair back and forth today and I don’t understand how the Smiths fell so far. We should totally whip people with our hair tomorrow, it sounds like fun.