May 18
were lowkey matching usernames twin
we areeeeeee. like. puzzle pieces ALSO TWO HEADED BOY UGHRAHHH SMART. two references in one i love this
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were lowkey matching usernames twin
we areeeeeee. like. puzzle pieces ALSO TWO HEADED BOY UGHRAHHH SMART. two references in one i love this
Holy shit I never realized your name was Eric even tho ur personal tag is shut up Eric I thought that was some xmen thing even tho it's spelt differently I just thought it was a spelling mistake tag that u didn't wanna fix omgggg I feel like I just had an epiphany but i also feel dumb lol
It’s okay, you’re not dumb! I never actually said that was my name, I don’t think, I just started using the tag from my inactive blog.
(I still laugh over those few times ma belle spelled my name with a K, tho.)
I have a Hartwin prompt for you.... How about one is a fanfic writer and the other is one of his most enthusiastic readers?
>u> NICE
~
AGentlemanSpy posted a new chapter!
Eggsy opened the link eagerly, not caring that he was in a crowded pub. His back was to the wall and he could always minimize in time.
He was waiting for Ryan and Jamal, but they wouldn’t be there for a while, which gave Eggsy time to read the next chapter in his favorite James Bond fic. AGentlemanSpy posted exclusively fic about spies and espionage, but that was fine; he was excellent at it. His writing always got hundreds of comments. And Eggsy liked to think he was AGentlemanSpy’s favorite commenter.
This chapter was scary. There was kidnapping, and allusions to torture, and scrambled trails as James fought to get Q home safe. It wasn’t 00Q (though Eggsy was into that); but it was written to show a deep friendship and trust between the two. Eggsy loved it.
He also loved that he was the only commenter AGentlemanSpy ever consistently replied to.
Fuck this one was great! I especially love Q’s lines to the kidnappers.
I’m glad you liked it. I took inspiration from your comment on the last chapter.
Eggsy resisted the urge to go all soft and melty inside. Fuck, mate, you don’t gotta keep taking inspo from me. What’re your other muses?
No others. I would’ve abandoned this fic without you.
Eggsy blushed and fought a smile. He was not home and safe; he was in public, where anyone could demand to know who he was texting. Careful, I may just take advantage.
You may try. I doubt you’ll be able to.
Oh, is that a challenge?
Suddenly, a different commenter popped in; Father_of_Quartermasters. Another of AGentlemanSpy’s favorites. Stop flirting, you two, you’re making everyone jealous.
Including you? AGentlemanSpy asked.
Stop it. And get back to work.
Eggsy sighed. Next week?
Next week.
“Oi, Eggsy!”
Eggsy’s head snapped up and he hid his phone in his pocket. Ryan and Jamal were coming towards him, both looking excited. Ryan threw himself in the booth, and Jamal slid in beside him. “Did you read the new chapter?” Ryan asked eagerly, leaning forward.
“Fuck yes!” Eggsy answered, grinning. “What’d you think of it?”
“This may be the best one yet! Oh, and the author kept flirting with that agentgareth person. Just thought you should know.”
Eggsy hid another smile. “Thanks. What about the kidnapping? D’you think it was realistic? I did.”
~
MORE TO COME
What's your favorite kind of fic to read/write?
OH DEAR NONNY
It seriously depends on my mood. Some weeks I’m fluff for daaaaays, some weeks I eat up angst like it is my only form of sustenance, some weeks I don’t go a day without smut. But the one constant that follows me all through my journeys is mutual pining.
Give me all the fic of my babies being too shy/scared/convinced the other will say no to make a move.
I've seen this prompt making the rounds: accidentally (REALLY!) sending a dick pic! Can you do this with Hartwin?
HELL FREAKIN’ YES
(in an AU where Kingsman really is jut a tailorshop and Eggsy works there and really fancies his boss, Harry, who sort of likes him back)
~
“Oh no,” Eggsy whispered.
“Hmm? What’s wrong?” Jamal asked.
“Um--I--I think--I accidentally--um--n-nevermind.”
Jamal and Ryan exchanged a confused look, but said nothing. Eggsy was acting very strange lately. Something to do with his new boss. They didn’t like to ask.
Eggsy fired off a text, then hid his phone in his pocket again and sat there, staring at his beer, looking for all the world like his world was ending.
~
Harry blinked as his phone buzzed. He was going through the accounts, and had left it on vibrate. Picking it up, he frowned at the number that showed. Did he know anyone with that number? Oh, yes, young Gary. Why would he be texting Harry, and at this time of night?
He opened his messages. There were actually two messages; one was multimedia, one was text. He opened the text first.
pls disregard that last msg, sir.
He frowned harder. Curiosity was always his greatest weakness, however; and so he opened the other message.
~
“HE’S GONNA FIRE ME I KNOW HE IS OH CHRIST WHAT DO I DO MUM WHAT DO I DO I’M FUCKED I’M SO FUCKED--”
“Wee! Wee! Calm down!” Mum ordered, shocked by the tears on Eggsy’s face. “What happened? Why would you be fired?”
“I accidentally sent my boss a dick pic!” he wailed. “I wanted to send him a picture of JB but I accidentally sent him a dick pic! He’s gonna have me murdered or somethin’, I know it!”
Mum stared at him. Then she snorted.
“It’s not funny!”
“Of course not, love,” she soothed. Then she burst into laughter, and hugged her growling son. “I’m sure you can explain to him next you see him. He sounds like a decent bloke.”
Eggsy grumbled, still upset, but not shouting or crying anymore. He hugged his mother and sniffled a little.
“I hope he doesn’t hate me now,” he mumbled miserably.
“He won’t, love. You made a mistake. That’s all. Now go get ready for dinner.”
~
Harry stared at the photo for far too long. Then he deleted it, like a gentleman.
He felt decidedly less than gentlemanly when he saw Gary the next day and immediately thought of the photo. Gary saw him, turned beet-red, and scurried to the back, studiously avoiding eye-contact. Harry pretended not to see him. It would be best for all involved if the incident was forgotten.
00Q fic? Write whatever you'd like! Maybe soulmate AU of some sort?
YEEESSSSS
~
When you meet your soulmate, you know.
That’s what Q’s been told his whole life. You’ll know when you’ve met your soulmate. No one will tell him what it means, though.
He understands when he sees 007 for the first time.
There’s a tingling in his fingers and toes. The hair on the back of his neck stands on end. He looks at 007 and a flush of warm, desperate longing fills him. He wants to touch the other’s hair, his face, his lips; he wants to kiss away that grumpy look; he wants to sit in his lap and hold him tight and never let go. This. This man is his soulmate. He knows he is.
But he mustn’t show it. Maybe the next time they are alone, Q can tell him. Maybe 007 will say something. Maybe...
The meeting goes smoothly and according to plan. 007 shows no sign that he recognized Q as his ‘mate. Q feels... disappointed. Sad. Miserable, even. But he can’t show it. He can’t.
~
It’s after Silva that Q has his breakdown.
It’s not explosive; it barely registers to anyone. But he’s halfway through cleaning up Silva’s mess when he just... shuts down. He sits there, staring at his screens, unable to remember what he’s doing, why, or how to continue. There’s a yawning abyss of screaming sadness in his chest, and while his hands lay limp and cold in his lap and his voice is still, it feels like his inner self is screaming and tearing at its face, sobbing, sobbing, sobbing because he lost her, he lost M, his iron idol, and it’s all his fault, all his fault all his fault all his fault--
He whimpers, and suddenly someone is standing over him. He doesn’t look up. He’s afraid to. His inner self is still screaming.
“Oh, Q,” the someone murmurs, and kneels beside him, taking his hands in theirs. “Darling, I... I’m sorry.”
Q blinks, feels tears slide down his cheeks, looks down into 007′s--Bond’s--face. “What’d you call me?” he whispers.
“Darling.” Bond switches his grip so he can reach up and run his rough-skinned fingertips along Q’s smooth jaw. He seems surprised at himself, but determined. “I mean it. I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For everything.”
And he means it. Q can see that he means it. So he leans down and presses his forehead against Bond’s, clutching his one hand tightly with both of his own, soothed by the sensation of Bond’s other hand slipping around the back of his neck. His soulmate is here.
And the screaming inside stops.
...harry finds a rough draft of eggsy's wedding vows? his reaction is totally up to you!
*hyperventilating* THIS IS SUCH A CUTE PROMPT
~
Harry is cleaning the house because he is bored.
He’s no longer an active agent, though he still trains, keeping sharp and strong. He still lives at his Kingsman-provided house. Only now his house has three more residents, four counting the dog--Eggsy, Michelle, and the baby.
He smiles fondly as he picks up another chew toy and examines the teeth marks to decide if this is the dog’s or the baby’s. He can never remember whose is whose--another mark of the bullet through his brain, along with his blind eye. But he knows teeth, and he knows that this is the dog’s, so he tosses it in the wicker basket half-hidden beside the sofa.
After the sitting room, he goes upstairs, to the office that is now Eggsy’s. Harry had taken down his own headlines, and is putting up all of Eggsy’s, despite the younger man’s protests. At least Eggsy doesn’t rip them down again. Harry straightens the desk (Eggsy likes to complain about Harry’s “meddling” but he never actually does anything about it), and as he does so, he accidentally knocks the hidden button that pops open the secret compartment. He shuts it, because Eggsy doesn’t know about it--
--wait.
He opens it again. There are papers in there. Regular ruled three-punch paper. He frowns, then shrugs. It’s none of his business.
Until he catches his name in the writing.
~
Eggsy doesn’t want to talk to mum about his day. Doesn’t want to hug or play with his sister or JB. Doesn’t want to drink with Harry. All he wants is to scream into his pillow and maybe cry.
The kid had only been four...
He stomps up the stairs, and is just passing the office when he hears someone clear their throat. He whirls, hand going for his gun, but it’s just Harry, staring at him with his one good eye. In his hands is a sheaf of papers. Eggsy frowns. He does not want to deal with more paperwork.
“So when were you planning to propose to me?” Harry asks, carefully offhand.
All the blood drains from Eggsy’s face as he realizes what those papers must be.
“Um--um--um--” he says.
“Because I take issue with the line “even if you name the new dog Mr. Pickle”.”
Eggsy blinks. Is... is Harry actually nervous? “I... I was...” he tries to explain weakly, but he can’t find the words.
“I assume you wrote that after I had that argument with your mum about proper names for pets,” Harry plowed on, “Which is very sweet, but you could phrase it better. I also don’t like the description of the cake, it sounds far too complicated. But back to the original question; when were you going to propose?”
“Um... when I found the right ring.”
“Well.” Harry set the papers very carefully in the compartment and closed it. “It’s early yet. Let’s go look at what the jewelers have to offer.”
Eggsy gaped at him. “You mean... y-you accept?”
“Of course I do,” Harry replied, beginning to frown as he walked over to where Eggsy was still frozen in the doorway. “I’ve known for quite a while that we were a good match, I just didn’t want to say anything.”
“You love me.”
“Isn’t that what I just said?”
Eggsy grabbed his collar and yanked him down for a kiss instead of answering.
One time I left a bunch of gay fanfiction I was reading open on a laptop (my parents laptop because I'm a moron) and forgot about it and when I realized it I rushed to close them but they were already closed but I don't know who closed it and how bad the fanfiction was. Moral of this is I am an idiot and NEVER use your parents laptop to read fanfiction
Holy shit. I’m so sorry.
I used to impulsively check that no one was reading over my shoulder because I had to use the family computer and I started reading/writing when I was twelve (I’m getting old). But now I’ve had three years with my very own laptop to relax a little. Relax too much.
(Although apparently my mom already knows I write fanfic????? WHICH IS TERRIFYING WHAT HAS SHE SEEN)