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*Ring ring. Ring ring.*

*A phone rings somewhere. A number given to an audience member. She holds the receiver in her hand, twirling the loops between her fingers. Her hands shake nervously. How can she be doing this, what confidence possessed her to possibly think the great star Mister Ant Tenna would seriously want to talk to her, a lowly audience member.*

*She almost moves to hang up the phone, embarrassed to have even bothered.*

The silence on the other end of the line concerns him.

"Hello? Do you have the right number? This is Mr. Ant. Tenna's TV time...!"

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Tenna!! when you said to Kris “I’ll make you enjoy it” it sent a shiver down my spine. I a lowly audience member saw your fangs and it excited me. I wonder what else you’ll make me enjoy. I love TV!!! <3

"I have never said any such thing to Kris. Mike, roll the tape!"

"Oh, and call me. My number is {fictional number here}"

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Hi! Hi Mr Tenna! How do you feel about addisons?

"Well, Addisons tend to get a bit... in my personal space." Tenna says, after a moment of thought. "They're usually interested to see if I have any advertising space left.. or to see if they can score with a big advertiser. Either way, they're a handsy people, around me."

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Oh, Mister Tenna! Thank you for saying it! I love watching TV! You're pretty easy on the eyes, y'know? And easy on the ears, y'hear! Unrelated question: would you smooch a ghost? Or an onion?

"A ghost? maybe. If they're not the kind that kills you. An onion? No.. why... why would I kiss an onion?"

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Hi Tenna! Big fan, love your shows! I'm always a sucker for those old cowboy shows and movies, so if you have a favorite, recommend me something! Or, if you like all your shows, maybe you could show off those big strong arms by chopping wood? I can never get enough of a big strong man sweating it out on the ranch with a smirk on his face, heehee