A Random Fact about the Mun / PSA - Accepting
I suffer from a tiny bit -okay, make that a large bit - of social paranoia. For those unaware, social paranoia is described as the tendency to believe that people are talking (or laughing) about you in a negative way.
Since most of my socialization is on the internet, my paranoia often manifests after no one seems to be responding to what I write whether it be in a chat room or a private message - because it naturally begets the question of why people aren’t talking to me.
The first thought that pops into my head is that someone is talking bad about me and is spreading their negative view to me onto other people.
This can easily turn a good day into a crappy one, the belief that there’s someone whispering bad things about me to both my friends and complete strangers. It’s a source of constant stress, and I’ll be the first to admit that this belief is hard to beat - primarily because you can’t really disprove that people aren’t talking about you behind your back.
Because I’ve dealt with this for so long, I post this in the hopes of helping those who’ve experienced similar things. This small list is my mental checklist that helps me deal with these thoughts.
People get distracted. Chances are if people haven’t responded to your message, they’re probably doing something else. People aren’t online all the time, and when they are online, they’re probably doing many things at once. Like even now, I have over 20 tabs open including Youtube and Tumblr and 15 active Discord chatrooms.
People just don’t feel like talking. People sometimes just don’t feel like talking. Some get these moods more often than others; some prefer talking to specific people when they get in those moods. If they don’t seem responsive, just give them a day or two: it’s probably because they’re just not in a talkative mood.
Don’t invite trouble. I’d like to think that I’ve been pretty clean and straightforward in my online career. I keep the things that should be kept private private, I don’t talk ill of others, and I don’t go looking for trouble. Though it doesn’t stop the truly malicious, being able to answer the question of “what have I done to make people spread bad gossip of me” with a fairly confident “nothing” does help alleviate a tiny bit of worry.
Trust your friends. This is especially important when you’re worrying about that dagger in the dark. Remember that your friends are not stupid. If someone’s spreading bad things about you, they know that someone has bad intentions. Even if what’s said happens to be true, when it comes to their friends, people will try to listen to both sides of the story. If it’s not true, even better - because your friends will likely be able to detect that it’s out of character for you.
Bad gossip rarely stays a secret. If a rumor about you is so big that people are avoiding you because of it, it will not stay a secret. It’ll always come out to light whether it be from someone publicizing it or a friend informing you about it. So don’t worry - in the end, you will always have the chance to defend yourself.
I hope this helps people who suffer the same thoughts I do.
Remember that you’re not alone. And remember that often enough the reason people don’t respond is either because they’re distracted or just not in the mood to talk to anyone.
I hope you all take care and have a nice day!
