#askwade

[hdg-lorets]

if an affini really wants a terran but the Terran passes all wardships and is insistent on living Independent who gets the ultimate say? Can the affini use sneaky/manipulative tactics and still be within the realm of acting affini-like. And if a terran has already been through one wardship can they be put into another if an affini sends them an intent to domesticate form? Writing a fic and i have to gadge if its even possible or worth it to start. Thank you for any help.

Hey anon! Thansk for the question. To be honest I'm not 100% sure why they called me up to the bigtime for this one but hey, I guess I am kind of an expert on this sort of thing. Basically, the affini have a lot of odd little rules and particularities, those rules and particularities can sometimes be very difficult to navigate. However, one thing you can be sure of is that the affini do play by the rules! It's why people like me are able to do so well at helping others avoid the collar! Why, just the other say my good friend Dali proposed a little wager between the two of us. Am I worried? Not at all! Because I trust her whole heartedly to play fair. Dirty tricks just aren't their style! If you’d like to know more, I'd recommend my guide to remaining independent. Happy Indepent Living!

Wade Winters, He/Him

[indiecoachwade]

Wade how do you convince an affini you're capable of independence? My warden says I keep acting feral and that if I don't improve shell recommend I be domesticated

Great question! I would suggest perhaps a bet of some kind. Maybe bet that you can show her you're capable of being a productive and self sufficient independent. Just be careful what you're putting on the line!

[indiecoachwade]

Hi Wade! A local affini in my life has started to become quite familiar with me at the coffee shop. Recently, she’s started to hand my latte directly to me with a smile.

I’m feeling a little apprehensive about drinking it, but also don’t want to set off alarm bells by rejecting it.

What should I do?

- Lea

Hi Lea,

Thanks for the question. I can definitely understand worrying about an overly friendly affini handling your food. But it's good to keep in mind that instances of an affini secretly drugging a terran they like just to slowly corrupt said terran into being their floret are incredibly rare. At least, that's what my friend Dali (she helps me with questions about affini behavior) says, anyway. Point is, she's likely only beign friendly. But if you really are worried, I would recommend finding an affini friend you *do* trust to make you your coffee. They will definitely appreciate your show of trust toward them, and it will not only be an opportunity for you to feel more comfortable and confident in your day to day life, but also, your affini friend will know you trust and feel safe around them. Affini really appreciate displays of vulnerability like that. After all, we all feel vulnerable sometimes, and hiding that away is not healthy at all. You and your affini friend will likely grow closer. And you can feel safe knowing someone you trust, and who knows and appreciates that you trust them, is handling your drinks. Happy independent living!

[indiecoachwade]

Hi Wade! Sooo, I messed up big time and accidentally got caught at a Terran Feralism Rally. First things first, I am not even a real feralist??? Sure I was the organizer of the event, but I was also the one who blew the whistle about it to the affini because I thought it would be super funny to see these people get caught. My tram was late so I showed up after all of the action was done (HUGE bummer btw) and I was arrested like I was one of them. They kept calling me 'the seed', is that some kind of code word for like Terran Super Terrorist? How bad did I mess up?? Are they going to make me into a pet?!? Please help me!! -Kay

Hi Kay, thanks for the question! And yikes, that sounds like quite the pickle you're in. I think you might be right "the seed" definitely sounds like it could be some kind of code name. I would suggest insisting you are not this "seed" they are looking for over and over again until they understand. Affini respond well to the truth, and have ways of ensuring what you're saying is, in fact, the truth. You may want to request an interview under the effects of Class-Ds disinhibitor xenodrugs, that will ensure you cannot lie about your feelings ,and no doubt clear everything up! Happy independent living!

- Wade

[indiecoachwade]

Hello Wade,

I know this is probably an unusual ask but why do you Terrans value your independence so much? I just met the most darling little sophont with the cutest little pout and when I pointed out she'd be much happier as my floret she pouted and went on about her independence. It was very very adorable. (I have several pictures!) Yet, I really cannot understand why she wants to be independent. Can terrans really thrive outside of a caring vine? If she insists on being independent how do I make sure some other affini doesn't scoop her up when I'm not looking?

~Your dearest Violetta

Hi Violetta, thanks for the question! I'm always happy to open a dialogue about these sorts of things with a new green friend! Anyway, that's a tough question as to why we value our independence so much. One might as well ask why you affini value taking pets so much. But I think it's just nice getting to navigate the world as equals with those around you, you know? As an independent, I have the same rights, the same authority, the same status and opportunity as someone like you. Now, obviously, you might think "how can that be the case when an affini could come along at any moment and domesticate you?" Well that's just the thing. I know domestication isn't right for me, which is how I know I won't be domesticated. It's great how that works, isn't it? Anyway, I would just say, if your terran is meant to be an independent, she will be one. If she's meant to be a pet, she'll be that instead. Hope this helps!

- Wade

[indiecoachwade]

Hi Wade! I have a third date with an affini friend of mine later today, and... I think I'm falling in love with xem. I know how this story tends to go, but I'm not sure if domestication is right for me. I promise, I have nothing against florets or domestication, it's just... I want a relationship with xem, not to devote my entire life to xem. That, and the idea of getting a haustoric implant kinda scares me.

Is there any way for an independent and an affini to make it work? Or does following my heart here mean also offering my spine? Can I even tell xem how I feel to begin with, or is that already too much of a risk?

Thanks for the question! Affini and independents can totally have normal relationships! Why, a former coworker of mine was once an independent in a mutual romantic, non floret relationship with an affini. Last I checked she's become that affini's daughter now, but that was a totally voluntary domestication which she asked for herself so it doesn't count as a point against the idea of these relationships working if you ask me. Happy independent living!

- Wade

[indiecoachwade]

Hey Wade! Thanks for all your great tips.

Lately, my affini friend has been sending me a lot of florn on the overnet, I'm not usually opposed to that stuff but it's a little disarming how she seems to know my kinks without ever having asked.

I don't wanna lose my independence, is this normal for affini to do or is she gonna file a notice on me?

-Ima Seed

Hey Ima, thanks for the question! You know, my friend Bailey has actually been dealing with something like this apparently. She mentioned to me a while back that an affini friend of hers had started sending her floret porn, specifically terran on terran floret porn, with one terran dominating another, often using the submissive terran in a way that's more akin to a toy than a person. Which well... golly! It sure sounds like a lot. I don't really know much about that, to be honest. But, either way, apparently that affini friend of hers just wanted to be swingers with Bailey. I guess she's been hooking up with various terrans, florets or otherwise, while her affini friend watches lately? Sounds wild to me but, who am I to judge? The Compact is an incredible tapestry and we're all living in it. Point is, sometimes affini just do this sort of thing. I wouldn't be too worried. Happy independent living!

[indiecoachwade]

Hello Wade!

I'm an independent terran working in an office with four affini coworkers and we're like, super tight: We call each-other "sisters", have regular boardgame hangouts after work, etc... honestly, I'm the happiest I've ever been. Anyways: a few days ago I made a joke about being the "office floret" and we all had a good laugh... but after that some my coworkers have started treating me different. They've been asking if I wanted to nap on their lap during work or saying "You're so precious, petal~" when I ask a work-related question. This morning... I found one of those replica play-domestication contracts on my desk. This joke is starting to get out of hand!

How do I tell my coworkers I don't want to be the office floret without sounding like a feralist? I'm not against domestication as a concept, stars know so many terrans need it, I really feel like I'm happier being their sister and not their pet.

-TerranClerkInTheCompact

Hi Clerk, thanks for the question! I can definitely understand your concern, but from where I'm standing, the answer seems pretty clear: be open and honest about your feelings. Affini really appreciate that and see it as a clear sign of that you have the mental health and emotional responsibility to be independent. I suggest you tell your affini friends that you do not want to be their pet, and that you like being sisters with them instead! Happy independent living!

- Wade