Wade Winters' Independence Blog

Have you or someone you care about been placed under an affini warship, or other form of trial period which may result in compulsory domestication? My name is Wade Winters. I'm an independence coach and I'm here to help!

[indiecoachwade]

Might be a bit slower to answer asks and offer tips this week gang. I'm on vacation in Space Vancouver. If you have any restaurant recs let me know!

[indiecoachwade]

Hello Wade!

I'm an independent terran working in an office with four affini coworkers and we're like, super tight: We call each-other "sisters", have regular boardgame hangouts after work, etc... honestly, I'm the happiest I've ever been. Anyways: a few days ago I made a joke about being the "office floret" and we all had a good laugh... but after that some my coworkers have started treating me different. They've been asking if I wanted to nap on their lap during work or saying "You're so precious, petal~" when I ask a work-related question. This morning... I found one of those replica play-domestication contracts on my desk. This joke is starting to get out of hand!

How do I tell my coworkers I don't want to be the office floret without sounding like a feralist? I'm not against domestication as a concept, stars know so many terrans need it, I really feel like I'm happier being their sister and not their pet.

-TerranClerkInTheCompact

Hi Clerk, thanks for the question! I can definitely understand your concern, but from where I'm standing, the answer seems pretty clear: be open and honest about your feelings. Affini really appreciate that and see it as a clear sign of that you have the mental health and emotional responsibility to be independent. I suggest you tell your affini friends that you do not want to be their pet, and that you like being sisters with them instead! Happy independent living!

- Wade

[indiecoachwade]

Why do all the cool implants require a haustoric implant? I wanna be able to do all the cool things with computers my floret friends can but without a haustorium I'm barely able to remotely control it. Is this a scheme, do the affini limit our access so we'll get domesticated?

Thanks again Wade, #independentlife

Thanks for the question! Unfortunately, I'm not sure I'm all that equipped to answer it. I'm no expert on affini tech, or even novice really. But I do know who can help. The clerks over at @hdg-lorets are a group of highly knowledgeable affini who can answer any of your questions about how their tech works, and more! Happy independent living!

- Wade

[peach-pot]

hearing about sex as a kid is like “you’re 100% going to do this one day” and then you grow up and find out sex isn’t real and your parents just lied about it like santa clause

[indiecoachwade]

Hey Wade, I'm writing this in the middle of the night. I'm not supposed to be talking to you right now.

The weed keeps me locked up in the hab. Says that I'm a danger to myself and others. Says I cant be trusted. The other day she had a friend over, they gave me drugs and made me agree to a wardship. Am I cooked?

Tell me there's a way out of this, man. I cant be doing this, I have to get home. Fuck. I swear I'm not a danger to me or anyone. I'm a very peaceful person. Sure, I may have kindof sortof tried to kill her that one time but that was ONE TIME, Wade, you have to understand. I was being abducted by aliens, you do what you gotta do. Anyway she's obsessed with the idea that I'm a seed or whatever that means. I have to get out of here before I make another stupid mistake. What's the easiest way to break out of an Affini habitation ship? One of the big ones, I think.

Hoo boy, okay well, first let me just say thanks for the question. But I really have to make this clear. This is a pro-affini, pro healthy and cooperative independence blog. I don't support feralist ideologies. The best way to avoid compulsory domestication and to not need compulsory domestication. And so long as you remain a feralist, you, my friend, will remain in need of compulsory domestication.

[indiecoachwade]

Hello Wade,

I know this is probably an unusual ask but why do you Terrans value your independence so much? I just met the most darling little sophont with the cutest little pout and when I pointed out she'd be much happier as my floret she pouted and went on about her independence. It was very very adorable. (I have several pictures!) Yet, I really cannot understand why she wants to be independent. Can terrans really thrive outside of a caring vine? If she insists on being independent how do I make sure some other affini doesn't scoop her up when I'm not looking?

~Your dearest Violetta

Hi Violetta, thanks for the question! I'm always happy to open a dialogue about these sorts of things with a new green friend! Anyway, that's a tough question as to why we value our independence so much. One might as well ask why you affini value taking pets so much. But I think it's just nice getting to navigate the world as equals with those around you, you know? As an independent, I have the same rights, the same authority, the same status and opportunity as someone like you. Now, obviously, you might think "how can that be the case when an affini could come along at any moment and domesticate you?" Well that's just the thing. I know domestication isn't right for me, which is how I know I won't be domesticated. It's great how that works, isn't it? Anyway, I would just say, if your terran is meant to be an independent, she will be one. If she's meant to be a pet, she'll be that instead. Hope this helps!

- Wade

[indiecoachwade]

Hello Wade!

I've recently found myself in a bit of a tricky situation, an unwanted wardship. I'll admit I hold a few feralist beliefs but that's only one factor at play here. I've spent most of the days since reviewing my wardship contract and clauses while the weed my jailer my warden has let me acclimate to the fact she and her floret have moved in. Another complicating factor is that my warden's floret is also my long time partner and I fear she's also working to make this living situation more... permanent. A complicated situation I know, but any advice is appreciated.

Thank you in advance,

@feralist-puppyward-lisa

Hi Lisa, thanks for the question! This may not be what you want to hear, but the most important step toward living a healthy independent lifestyle is learning to accept, even embrace the affini's presence in our lives. Like it or not, our foliated friends are here to stay! Once you accept that, you can start down the path of realizing that isn't a bad thing. Think of all the ways your life could be improved living under the affini compact. No bills, no job, no threat of losing your livelihood. To me, having to deal with the watchful eye of a bunch of overgrown flirty ficuses is more than worth all that. My suggestion? Talk to your warden and your partner, be open and honest about your feralist feelings, and ask if they can help you get over them. Because I can tell you this, you won't be making it out of this wardship without a collar on if you can't get over that feralism. It's like my friend Dali says, "The ones who insist they aren't pets are the most fun to break into pets of all."

[indiecoachwade]

Hi, Wade, I have a minor question for you. When I was talking with one of my affini friends they made the bold claim that those who are too fiercely independent are just scared of facing the reality that they need domestication. This is obviously absurd, but she's been taking on a larger role in my life recently and has been helping me out with medication and staying on schedule and I am starting to consider if she might be right?

- A.S

Thanks for the question! You know, it sounds to me like you are actually more independent than ever. Personally, I've gotten damn near perfect at taking care of myself, and I rarely ever need any help at all. But when I do, I ask for it. After all, what's more independent than internalizing the fact that you need help, and then accepting said help? By accepting help when you need it, you're allowing yourself not to be ruled by self-destructive impulses like pride, self-consciousness, and the like! Plus, letting her help you with some things frees you up to peruse more healthy, self-improving, indie-maxxing hobbies and goals. My advise? Optimize your independence and accept as much help as you need from her! Happy independent living.

[indiecoachwade]

My, like, wardship hearing is in like, totally three days. B uu=uuuuut I like, am not sure what I should like, do, to make sure everything like. turns out okay? Big sis says I got like nothing to worry about, but like it's a big day!

Thanks for the question. Unfortunately, without more information, I can't offer much beyond just demonstrating a healthy, independent lifestyle. However, thankfully, it seems you have a great source of guidance in your sister. Older siblings, and siblings in general, can be a great source of support and perspective. So I would just do whatever your older sister says. She no doubt has your best interest at heart.

[indiecoachwade]

Wade how do you convince an affini you're capable of independence? My warden says I keep acting feral and that if I don't improve shell recommend I be domesticated

Great question! I would suggest perhaps a bet of some kind. Maybe bet that you can show her you're capable of being a productive and self sufficient independent. Just be careful what you're putting on the line!

[indiecoachwade]

Hi Wade! I have a third date with an affini friend of mine later today, and... I think I'm falling in love with xem. I know how this story tends to go, but I'm not sure if domestication is right for me. I promise, I have nothing against florets or domestication, it's just... I want a relationship with xem, not to devote my entire life to xem. That, and the idea of getting a haustoric implant kinda scares me.

Is there any way for an independent and an affini to make it work? Or does following my heart here mean also offering my spine? Can I even tell xem how I feel to begin with, or is that already too much of a risk?

Thanks for the question! Affini and independents can totally have normal relationships! Why, a former coworker of mine was once an independent in a mutual romantic, non floret relationship with an affini. Last I checked she's become that affini's daughter now, but that was a totally voluntary domestication which she asked for herself so it doesn't count as a point against the idea of these relationships working if you ask me. Happy independent living!

- Wade

[indiecoachwade]

Hi Wade! Sooo, I messed up big time and accidentally got caught at a Terran Feralism Rally. First things first, I am not even a real feralist??? Sure I was the organizer of the event, but I was also the one who blew the whistle about it to the affini because I thought it would be super funny to see these people get caught. My tram was late so I showed up after all of the action was done (HUGE bummer btw) and I was arrested like I was one of them. They kept calling me 'the seed', is that some kind of code word for like Terran Super Terrorist? How bad did I mess up?? Are they going to make me into a pet?!? Please help me!! -Kay

Hi Kay, thanks for the question! And yikes, that sounds like quite the pickle you're in. I think you might be right "the seed" definitely sounds like it could be some kind of code name. I would suggest insisting you are not this "seed" they are looking for over and over again until they understand. Affini respond well to the truth, and have ways of ensuring what you're saying is, in fact, the truth. You may want to request an interview under the effects of Class-Ds disinhibitor xenodrugs, that will ensure you cannot lie about your feelings ,and no doubt clear everything up! Happy independent living!

- Wade

[indiecoachwade]

Hey Wade! Thanks for all your great tips.

Lately, my affini friend has been sending me a lot of florn on the overnet, I'm not usually opposed to that stuff but it's a little disarming how she seems to know my kinks without ever having asked.

I don't wanna lose my independence, is this normal for affini to do or is she gonna file a notice on me?

-Ima Seed

Hey Ima, thanks for the question! You know, my friend Bailey has actually been dealing with something like this apparently. She mentioned to me a while back that an affini friend of hers had started sending her floret porn, specifically terran on terran floret porn, with one terran dominating another, often using the submissive terran in a way that's more akin to a toy than a person. Which well... golly! It sure sounds like a lot. I don't really know much about that, to be honest. But, either way, apparently that affini friend of hers just wanted to be swingers with Bailey. I guess she's been hooking up with various terrans, florets or otherwise, while her affini friend watches lately? Sounds wild to me but, who am I to judge? The Compact is an incredible tapestry and we're all living in it. Point is, sometimes affini just do this sort of thing. I wouldn't be too worried. Happy independent living!

[indiecoachwade]

Hey Wade, recently at work one of my Affini coworkers has been trying to make moves on me I think? Stopping me outside of work hours, giving me headpats in the breakroom, she's even tried to come over to my house a few times. I don't exactly hate any of it, her eyes and vines are very nice. But I'm worried that if this goes too far I could lose my independence. Is this just being friendly or am I in danger?

~ M

Ah, this is a situation I know well. Affini flirting can be quite a lot sometimes, but first and foremost, I'd like you to keep in mind that just because an affini is flirting with you doesn't mean they intend to domesticate you. For many affini, flirting is just like saying hello. My advise would be this.

set clear boundaries. If your affini friend does something you don't like, tell her so firmly, but politely.

assert yourself by flirting back confidently and in a way that does not come off as submissive or flustered. For example, I once told an affini coworker who was flirting with me, "nice flowers, they would look better on my floor." She then looked at me very confused, and walked away. This is no doubt because she had me pegged as a potential floret candidate, but then was suddenly confronted with my suave, confident, masculine charm.

I hope this helps! Happy independent living!

[indiecoachwade]

Hey Wade! Sorry if I'm a bit brief (in a bit of a pickle atm), but your blog showed up as a recommendation on my ship's dash and I figured I'd reach out here, just in case. So I just saw my girlfriend's ship get captured, and I'm working on plan A right now (currently accelerating towards the weeds' ship as fast as this fighter can muster), but I was wondering if you had any tips in case that goes south. Cheers!

Hey there friend, thanks for the question. I have to be honest with you, it's pretty clear to me that you've got a lot of feralist ideas you need to work out in your head. This might not be what you want to hear, but it's the truth. And, as an independence coach, I really don't have much to offer you. The truth is, I welcome the affini. I'm glad they're here. They've done a great deal to vastly improve the lives of your average human. And yes, I even believe domestication is right for some people, feralists included. Given the nature of your post, I'm sure by now our foliated friends have already captured you. So all I can say is, good luck on your new life as a floret. I'm sure you'll enjoy it! Happy... dependent living?

- Wade

[indiecoachwade]

Hello Wade! Thanks for starting this blog to help us independents stay independent! Honestly, sometimes I feel similarly hot and flushed, especially when I spend a lot of time with my affini friend. I'm kind of worried about asking her to help me... take care of those feelings. I have no idea what she would do! Could you maybe describe how your affini friend helps you with yours?

~ Indy-pendent

Hi Indy, great name. Thanks for the question. Yknow, it's funny. I'm actually not really sure. For whatever reason it's completely slipped my mind. I'll have to ask her about it next time I see her! Either way, I wouldn't be too worried. The affini love helping people in general, not just their florets! And getting help from an affini most certainly does not mean you're destined for the collar. Just look at me! Happy independent living!

[indiecoachwade]

Hi Wade! A local affini in my life has started to become quite familiar with me at the coffee shop. Recently, she’s started to hand my latte directly to me with a smile.

I’m feeling a little apprehensive about drinking it, but also don’t want to set off alarm bells by rejecting it.

What should I do?

- Lea

Hi Lea,

Thanks for the question. I can definitely understand worrying about an overly friendly affini handling your food. But it's good to keep in mind that instances of an affini secretly drugging a terran they like just to slowly corrupt said terran into being their floret are incredibly rare. At least, that's what my friend Dali (she helps me with questions about affini behavior) says, anyway. Point is, she's likely only beign friendly. But if you really are worried, I would recommend finding an affini friend you *do* trust to make you your coffee. They will definitely appreciate your show of trust toward them, and it will not only be an opportunity for you to feel more comfortable and confident in your day to day life, but also, your affini friend will know you trust and feel safe around them. Affini really appreciate displays of vulnerability like that. After all, we all feel vulnerable sometimes, and hiding that away is not healthy at all. You and your affini friend will likely grow closer. And you can feel safe knowing someone you trust, and who knows and appreciates that you trust them, is handling your drinks. Happy independent living!