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[loominggaia]

SWEEDY CORPORATION PRODUCTS

OVERVIEW

The Sweedy Corporation, founded by Swilton Sweedy, is the largest supplier of snack foods on Looming Gaia. Their products are most popular in the company’s homeland of Zareen Empire, but also have a large presence in the Empire of Damijana and other Great Kingdoms. Nothing Sweedy produces can be called “healthy”, but they can certainly be called “tasty”, “cheap”, and “convenient”. With countless products spanning over a thousand years, this ancient company has become a household name all over the globe.

TUBE CAKE

The Sweedy Corporation’s flagship product. The Tube Cake is a very dense, tube-shaped cake with a sweet creamy filling inside. They come in 3 different sizes (Bite-sized, medium, and jumbo) and a wide variety of different flavors. Their ingredients are a closely-guarded secret, but one thing is known for sure: they are packed with an absurd cocktail of preservatives.

These cakes were invented during the 4th Age, when automatons were starting to take many jobs away from peoples. The future was uncertain and the robot apocalypse was on everyone’s mind, so Sweedy took advantage of the fear and invented a tasty, portable food item that would supposedly “never spoil”.

Anxious Zareenites hoarded Tube Cakes with such a fervor that the company struggled to meet demand. Militaries, hospitals, and other large entities ordered entire bunkers of these little cakes in case of disaster. Over time the hoarding has slowed down, but Tube Cake sales continue to spike in times of uncertainty.

Today, over a thousand years later, bunkers full of them can still be found…and the cakes are somehow still in perfect, edible condition.

SWAMP SWEETZ

Sweedy executives noticed the large influx of Aquarians–particularly mermaids–fleeing to Zareen Empire during the Aquarian Wars. They responded with a product that would “appeal to the Aquarian palate” and released Swamp Sweetz; slippery gummy candies shaped like frogs, snakes, and turtles. These shapes were chosen because such animals were familiar to Aquarian peoples and commonly eaten by them.

Few other Zareenite companies had tried appealing to Aquarians at the time, so these candies were an instant hit that has since become a classic staple for many Aquarian Zareenites. Other peoples, however, tend to be turned off by the slippery texture and “creepy” shapes.

SNIPSNAP BAR

One day, a Sweedy executive was out and about when they noticed four children fighting over a chocolate bar. The children tried to break it into even pieces, but started to squabble because the pieces weren’t exactly even. It was then that a brilliant idea struck, and the executive proposed their idea to Sweedy: a large chocolate bar with deep indentations, which guaranteed that it would always snap easily into nine equal squares. Their bosses were on board, and the Sweedy Corporation once again had another hit on the shelves.

What makes Snipsnap bars unique is the precise attention to its measurements. Sweedy’s quality control department spends extra time measuring each and every bar to ensure that all the pieces are equal, all the way down to the microscopic level. While the original bars are plain chocolate with no frills, different flavors and varieties became available later, and the same precision is applied to them all.

If the bar has nuts in it, employees ensure that each square contains the same number of nuts, shaving all the nuts down to a uniform size. If it has caramel stripes, they ensure that each line covers the exact same surface area of each square, and so on.

This treat remains a favorite for busy parents who wish to silence their kids with a treat. When they reach for a Snipsnap bar, they have peace of mind knowing there will be no further squabbles. It’s also a popular treat for large groups of friends, classrooms, and even military battalions to share. The way the bars snap has a highly satisfying and addictive quality that keeps customers coming back.

PEPIPOPS

Much of Zareen Empire lies in the cold, unforgiving mountains of Evik. These regions were popular with Halostiran immigrants who sailed to the continent from an even colder, harsher one. These Halostirans were comfortable here, and their growing settlements caught the attention of the Sweedy Corporation. How could they market their sweets to a population who had never seen sugar cane, and who had no familiarity with sugary flavors?

The solution was Pepipops, Sweedy’s first frozen product. They are creamy slabs made from milk, a common staple of the Halostirans, but topped with sticky caramel and sugary sprinkles. The combination of milk and sugar went down smoothly, and not only was the product a hit with Halostirans, but many native Zareenites loved it too!

KRIZPINZ

Sweedy was starting to run dry on ideas as other companies flooded the market with all manner of snacks. The company decided now was the time to take a risk, by branching out from sweets and diving into the world of salty snacks. Crispies were already an immensely popular food item globally, but especially in Zareen Empire, so these baked veggie-chips seemed like a safe place to start. They would give their version a hip, snappy name: Krizpins.

But how could Sweedy ensure their brand of crispies stood out from the crowd? The answer was Krizpin, an adorable little mascot they used to advertise their new product. Krizpin was simply a baked chip with a face and stick-limbs, but this basic design appealed to children and made him easily recognizable. Sweedy marketed the mascot aggressively, making deals with media companies to release comic books, games, and even cartoons about his adventures.

The plan was a massive success, and to this day Krizpin remains one of the most popular mascots not only in Zareen Empire–but in the world!

LOOPY HOOPZ

Flying off the success of Krizpinz, Sweedy decided to branch out yet again, this time into the cereal market. They had learned that a good mascot was essential, so they teamed up with Lor Galor media to bring the already beloved cartoon character, Loopy the Hoopsnake, into their product. This simple ring-shaped cereal was made of puffed rice and obscene amounts of sugar like many others, but what made it unique was its red coloring that made the rings vaguely resemble Loopy, and the white goat-shaped marshmallows that resembled his sidekick, Grumper the Goat. Each box contained a small Loopy toy, and the back was full of mazes, crosswords and other child-appropriate activities.

This cereal is by no means healthy–just like all of Sweedy’s products–but that didn’t stop the company from marketing it as “part of a balanced breakfast” to fool parents into buying it without guilt. The product continues to fly off the shelves, generation after generation. As long as Loopy remains hip with the youth, so too does Loopy Hoopz.

HARTIES

Zareen Empire has a rather diverse population which has immigrated from all over the world. Matuzans are among them, hailing from the so-called “Kingdom of Romance”, but it is a demographic that Zareenite food companies didn’t used to cater to very much. That changed when a Sweedy employee of Matuzan heritage made a proposal…a marriage proposal to the CEO!

Traditional Matuzan cuisine was served at the wedding, including heart-shaped breadsticks called Hartsas. As the couple enjoyed their food, they got an idea, and Harties were conceived. These crunchy, heart-shaped little baked goods are coated in chocolate or yogurt and topped with sprinkles. Though Hartsas are traditionally served at weddings, date nights, and other romantic occasions back in the motherland, Harties are a smaller, more portable version that is eaten any time.

Zareenites of Matuzan descent appreciated the familiar food, but its mix of sweet and salty flavor as well as its satisfying crunch appealed to peoples of all kinds. The snack has since become popular all across the globe, especially during romantic holidays.

FRUTINUT

Another classic confectionary creation by Sweedy, Frutinut is a variation of a traditional Zareenite snack called partinut. Partinut is peanuts covered in chocolate with a hard candy shell, but Frutinut adds a twist with a layer of fruit-flavored gummy candy between the chocolate and the shell. The result is a sweet, salty, and fruity explosion of flavor!

Each Frutinut candy is quite a bit larger than a partinut, so it’s easy to tell the two apart at a glance. But to add even more distinction, Sweedy produces the Frutinut in fruit shapes corresponding with their flavor. The larger size makes this candy more popular with heavyweight peoples like ogres and centaurs, who find it easier to handle and more filling to eat.

Frutinut contains no actual fruit, only synthetic fruit flavors.

DAMI DUST

The Sweedy Corporation found success by appealing to as many different demographics as possible. At one point its target was the large but oppressed population of Dami elves living in Zareen Empire. The Dami famously enjoyed extremely spicy cuisine, so Sweedy concocted Dami Dust, a spicy powdered candy that would appeal to the elves’ unique taste.

The product pleased their tongues, but the Dami were not thrilled about the name or its implication. Pyre dust was a highly addictive drug that devastated their communities, both in Zareen Empire and in their homeland of Damijana. Dami Dust happened to resemble the drug both in name and appearance, which caused a huge uproar.

Was it a simple mistake on Sweedy’s part, or yet another racial jab at the oppressed Dami elves? No one knows for sure, but Sweedy was quick to pull the product from shelves…which caused another uproar from other peoples who enjoyed the product and wanted it back. Sweedy went back and forth with Dami Dust, changing its appearance, its name, and even its entire recipe several times in an attempt to please everyone.

Today, the product is sold under many different names and formulations in different regions, but all versions are owned by Sweedy Corp. This candy was simply too profitable to axe, so instead, the company decided to manage its PR by selling different versions to different demographics. This strategy has proven mostly effective, with only the occasional complaint arising.

Since this candy’s debut, pyre dust is often referred to as “Dami Dust” by Zareenites in a disparaging and racially-insensitive way.

CYCLOPS HORNS

Cyclopes were once deeply feared monsters in Zareen Empire, but as their numbers have dwindled, so too have their attacks and the memories of the havoc they once caused. Today they are an almost mythical creature, popular antagonists in Zareenite media. Their immense strength and intimidating appearance is especially popular with children.

That’s why Sweedy decided to use them as inspiration for their new pastry product: Cyclops Horns. These pastries are quite large, intended for heavyweight species. As the name suggests, they have a horn-like shape and are colored white with powdered sugar. They have a red jelly filling that gives the illusion of blood, so that customers can feel like they have slain a mighty cyclopes every time they eat one.

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[loominggaia]

THE TOXIC ZONES OF EVIK

Zareen Empire is one of the richest, most developed, and most populous Great Kingdoms on Looming Gaia, and it owes this success to its high-tech industries. However, all this industry has come at a steep cost to the natural environment.

Under the Industrialist Party’s power, Zareen’s corporations face very few regulations and the wilderness becomes their garbage can. The biggest players have chosen a few specific corners to dump their waste, and centuries upon centuries of repeated dumping have made some areas of Evik dangerously toxic.

MLZ01

The most famous of these zones is “MLZ01”–or Military Landfill Zone 01. As its name suggests, this was a coastal zone where the Zareenite military dumped mass amounts of its trash. Among that trash were broken aircrafts, seacrafts, weapons, vehicles, appliances–all things that contained valuable metals and components. No Zareenite was brave or desperate enough to mine this treacherous landfill for these treasures, but their recently-liberated red elf slaves were. These ex-slaves diligently mined the landfill, sold the materials back to Zareen, and built what is today known as the Empire of Damijana upon it.

BLACKLUNG GROVES

Just south of Damijana is another toxic zone called the Blacklung Groves, which are clusters of forest that extend from the west coast to Azar. At a glance, these appear to be lush, healthy bamboo forests growing along the creeks and rivers. They are scenic locations that are tempting to explore, but peoples and animals who venture into the greenery will soon fall ill. Acute symptoms include respiratory distress and mysterious rashes, but the longer one spends in the groves, the more their health suffers, culminating into total vision loss, infertility, and cancer.

So, what exactly is wrong with these forests? In the 5330’s, the Jayef-Ku Chemical Corporation developed a new all-in-one herbicide and pesticide that promised to kill all weeds and insects on contact. This poison turned out to be much more dangerous than the company claimed, harming peoples and all manner of beasts, and was eventually banned. But by then, the damage had been done. This chemical had been sprayed liberally all over Zareen’s farmlands, infecting the water table and washing downward, eventually concentrating in the forested lowlands.

This chemical seemed to kill everything except plants in the grass family, such as wheat, corn, and bamboo. When the water became poisoned, nearly all the trees and plants nearby died. Only the region’s native bamboo survived, and with all its competition removed, it began growing out of control. What were once healthy, diverse forests became vast monocultures of bamboo. This bamboo fed heavily upon the highly toxic soil and water, taking these toxins into itself. The result is a mutated and dangerous plant, as its leaves emit noxious fumes that are said to smell like window cleaner.

In the past, Zareenites tried stripping this bamboo of its smelly leaves and using the timber for construction. All seemed well for a decade or two, until big clusters of the population suddenly developed unique cancers, birth defects, and organ diseases. These ailments were traced back to the bamboo wood used to construct their homes and furniture, which did not have a smell like the leaves, but turned out to be no less toxic. This silent killer claimed many lives before the Zareenite government stepped in with remediation efforts, but many claim that not enough was done. To this day, the toxic timber can still be found in the empire’s poorer regions, especially in older buildings. Its consequences are still present, but the voices of these neglected populations fall on deaf ears.

In addition, some of these impoverished populations continue to chop down fresh timber from the groves and use it out of desperation, either for firewood or construction. They often do not disclose the origin of this wood and then sell it to buyers in other regions. Because the wood has no odor and or distinctive qualities at first glance, it gets mixed in with clean timber and ends up all over the empire. This has caused the slow poisonings to continue, despite the government’s efforts.

Disposing of this timber is a tricky undertaking. Burning it simply releases the toxins into the air to eventually settle onto the soil, where they may poison the water, get inhaled by peoples, or taken up by more bamboo, repeating the cycle. The same thing happens if it is chipped or left to break down naturally. The Zareenite government has built special bunkers to contain all the toxic timber it has reclaimed in its remediation efforts, though this system is not a perfect solution either. Toxic timber remains an ongoing problem not only locally, but has spread to foreign kingdoms as well, especially Zareen’s closest neighbor, Mogdir Kingdom.

KINGSFALL SWAMP

Kingsfall Swamp sits just above sea level. As the lowest region in western Evik, it acts as a collector for all the rivers flowing down from the Stonehammer Mountains. Each of these rivers are unfortunately quite polluted. All these pollutants concentrate in the stagnant water of the swamp, creating a toxic pit of chemicals, trash, and sewage.

Zareen Empire once claimed this region, but later abandoned it due to the pollution and general difficulty of defending such a place. Even before the pollution, Kingsfall Swamp was known as a treacherous place full of predators, poisonous plants, precarious terrain, and bloodborne diseases. Despite all that, there are some peoples who have decided to settle here. Their reasons are many, but it usually boils down to avoiding taxes, fleeing the law, or being unable to afford better places in the empire.

Today, Kingsfall Swamp is scattered with many independent villages and towns, each with their own culture and laws. Their toxic, undesirable environment ends up being a boon in some ways, as no Great Kingdom feels motivated to take this land from them. They are free to live as they wish in this region, so long as they can contend with all its difficulties.

The people of the swamp live humble lives, to say the least. Food is sometimes imported from other regions, but most often it is hunted or grown right there in the polluted land. Rice is a staple crop here, as it grows well in the swampy terrain. and is also unaffected by the Jayef-Ku Corporation’s herbicide disaster. Rice grown in this swamp contains heavy metals and other toxins that are dangerous to peoples. The natives have adapted somewhat and do not suffer acute sickness like foreigners do from eating it, but they do suffer long-term consequences like cancers and organ failure. Health outcomes are quite bad here, and human lifespans rarely exceed 50 years.

Because they are not managed by a Great Kingdom, these independent villages have inadequate healthcare, police, and civic services–or often none at all. Zareenites call these natives “swampfolk” and do not think very highly of them, stereotyping them as poor, uneducated, disease-carrying hicks. Swampfolk have developed their own distinctive culture and can be identified by their clothes, mannerisms, and unique accents. Most notably, they are often identified by the deformities they carry from their polluted environment, such as tumors and missing or extra limbs.

SEE ALSO

Toxilutionism

Zareen Empire

Empire of Damijana

Larainite Cuisine

Zareenite Political Parties

Ask: Zareen

Ask: Technology

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[loominggaia]

Wait, so... Zygrow has experimented with nymphs, right? How do you genetically modify something that doesn't reproduce sexually? Do they just like, force nymphs to manifest from unnatural things or something?

Good question! I know I talked about this more in-depth before, but for reason I can't find the post. In short, Zygrow has created "nymph farms" by artificially creating "optimized" environments where they are likely to spawn.

These farms can take many forms. A hydriad farm may look like a big aquarium, minmaxed to perfection with an optimal balance of plants and wildlife. A limniad farm might look like a big greenhouse, where plant growth is encouraged with grow lights, custom soil mixtures, and scientifically-optimized fertilizers.

Zygrow is perfecting the art of artificial wilderness, and in doing so, they can trick Gaia into spawning nymphs in unusual places like cities or even industrial zones. Gaia doesn't know that modern corn was selectively bred over centuries to create something totally different from its ancestor, because at the end of the day it's still corn, and it can still spawn corn nymphs. These GMO corn nymphs may look different from their wild ancestors, but they are still nymphs all the same, just like the modern corn is still a plant.

Zygrow has performed many experiments with nymphs, and have created all sorts of abominations and interesting new breeds as a result. Chemical fire pyriads, hybrid-beast faunae, slime hydriads, and GMO limniads are just a few of the things they're responsible for.

Aside from spawning new breeds of nymphs, Zygrow can also alter the properties of existing nymphs, transforming them into new forms with new properties.

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[loominggaia]

“Mothers for Morality” is such on the nose name that I just can’t help but love how unserious they are, and I imagine the rest of Zareen Empire doesn’t take this group seriously either… I’m hoping?

This organization was actually built as a response to terrorist groups (such as the Crescent Cult) trying to recruit young men into their ranks using the media. Mothers (and fathers) got so sick of this happening during Industrialist rule that they developed this large organization to combat hate and protect their kids.

You see, when Zareen Empire is under the Industrialist Party's power, regulations are removed from the media and things start going crazy. It starts off subtle, but after a decade or two, things escalate to the point where actual hate groups and terrorist orgs are openly preaching on prime time television, spewing whatever toxic rhetoric they want because it's not in the Industrialist's interest to stop them. The Industrialist Party likes fear, hatred, and conflict because they are the party of arms dealers. Whenever there is violence, even domestic violence within their own empire, their politician's wallets fill up.

Mothers for Morality was a response to this. They call for censorship to return during Industrialist rule to prevent these terrible conflicts. This org is seen favorably during these times.

However, in times of Naturalist Party rule, Mothers of Morality doesn't have much to do. They want to remain relevant and keep the donations flowing, so they resort to some crooked schemes to keep afloat, like calling for censorship where it isn't needed, invasive surveillance, and just generally getting up in citizens' business. They gain more power and control this way.

Today, it is a very bloated organization that throws its weight around too much, but under certain conditions it is also a godsend.

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[loominggaia]

Zareenite scientist: Finally after all these years and funding, me and my team have finally discovered a cure for cancer!

Zareenite news the next day…

It’s such a tragedy the research center burned down and all the scientist working inside died. But it was completely their fault cause….

Well you see, cancer is so very profitable for Zareenite elites, so of course they can't allow a cure to surface. Just think of the poor widdle bioscience shareholders and snake oil grifters! :(

But there is another reason the Zareenites don't want to cure cancer, and that's the fact that it's pretty much nature's killswitch for cecaelia. It's thought that cecaelia would be immortal like nymphs if not for the brain cancer they naturally develop after a while. Zareenites do not like the idea of everlasting fae, especially not Aquarians, who they are locked into an eternal war with.

Their greatest enemy is Sovereign, a cecaelian warlord who is finally dying of cancer after 1,100 years of terror. What if Sovereign cured his cancer and continued to reign for all eternity? Zareenite nightmare right there.

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[loominggaia]

Actually, what kind of inventions has Zygrow made outside of the Zareenite Ironjaw & vatborn peoples? Have they ever accidentally/purposely unleashed some Resident Evil-esque monstrosities?

Good question! Zygrow has made many genetic abominations, but nearly all of them remain in their secret laboratories and get terminated by employees.

However, once in a while one of these abominations escapes the lab or an employee blabs about them to someone. Once the media picks up on this, there is a lot of controversy and drama. Authorities get bribed and Zygrow remains in business.

Zygrow once tried to create a "super ogre" as part of their super soldier program, by genetically modifying ogres. What they made was essentially the Incredible Hulk...These creatures were ogres from a genetic standpoint, but in appearance they were three times larger than normal, their skin was twice as thick and covered in sharp bony protrusions, they had six horns instead of two, and they suffered from uncontrollable rage fits.

Rumor has it that a Zygrow employee felt pity for one of these super ogres and helped them escape, bringing them to an ogrish tribal colony in Noalen. Zyrow denies this, but no one can deny that there is now a population of ogres in the Blue Valley who are unnaturally large, strong, and ill-tempered...possible descendants of the super ogre?

Zygrow has also genetically modified nymphs to an extensive degree. They've made noxious flame pyriads, GMO limniads, slime hydriads, and even maenads who produce different types of wine...some of which are poisonous. Some of these nymphs were intended as weapons, others were meant to solve environmental problems. Many of these nymphs have escaped or have been intentionally released over the ages, and many can still be found roaming Gaia today. They are unnatural creatures struggling to find their place in the natural world, and so they are often shunned by other nymphs.

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[loominggaia]

Krizpin and the Sweedy Squad: A Study of Zareenite Brain-Rot

Gummy the Frog: I lost my cool shades! Help me, Sweedy Squad!

[Krizpin surfs into frame on a wave of bubbly] Woah, sounds like you've got a serious problem! Time to get KRIZPY! [Pulls a boombox out of his ass and everyone starts dancing]

Gummy: But...but my shades are still missing...

Krizpin: You don't need shades to be cool, my dude! What you need is Sweedy's new CHILL BLAST(tm) Pepipops! [Sweedy-brand frozen treats inexplicably start raining from the sky]

Gummy: [Eats the CHILL BLAST(tm) Pepipop] Wow, you're right! I feel cooler already! Thanks, Sweedy Squad!

Krizpin: [Winks and gives a thumb-up to the camera as credits roll]

Zareenite Children:

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[loominggaia]

ZAREEN EMPIRE

OVERVIEW

Current Leader: Empress Qara Zareen

Color: Cyan

Symbol: Gear and Wrench

Also known as the “Iron Empire”, Zareen Empire is famous for its advanced industrial technologies and crowded megalopolises. It leads the world in manufacturing, but as a result, it is also the most polluted Great Kingdom on Gaia.

While foreign powers don’t appreciate Zareen’s pollutive ways, few take action against them. Most of the world’s industrial needs are outsourced to this empire, then the empire sells finished goods back to other kingdoms. This makes Zareen a highly valuable trade partner, especially for Nymph Pact kingdoms.

Zareen Empire dominates most of western Evik. In ancient times, this region was populated by small, primitive tribes. Dworfs and humans began arriving in large numbers from the continent of Noalen, and they used their advanced technology to conquer the native tribes. It wasn’t long before Evik became dominated by commoners, particularly humans and dworfs, who are still the dominant peoples in the region today.

Zareenite culture can be quite hostile towards fae, nymphs, and magic-users in general.

DIPLOMACY

HISTORY

ECONOMY

POLITICS

CULTURE

MILITARY

LAW

DEMOGRAPHICS

TRIVIA:

-Zareen’s banner depicts a wrench and gear, symbolizing its industrial productivity and technological might.

-Its official color, cyan, represents turquoise stone. This stone was used as currency between the Noalender colonizers and the native peoples in the empire’s early ages.

SEE ALSO

High Empress Qara Zareen

Zareenite Territories

Zareenite Hairstyles

Zareenite Cuisine

Bucketheel

Dworf

Elf

Mechaskema

Toxilutionism

The Toxic Zones of Evik

Ask: Zareen

Ask: Qara

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