My Experience with King Asmoday (or how Asmodeus saved my life)
Trigger Warnings: suicide ideation
I've always struggled with my mental health since childhood, and spirituality has been a huge help in the healing process.
One night I was having trouble sleeping, so I tried to meditate to help. No matter what I did, I couldn't quiet my head, and began to spiral, immensely badly too. It was to the point where I was genuinely planning out what I'd say in a letter, and how I'd do it. By far, the worst I had been since highschool. If im being honest I can't really remember what triggered it.
Through it all though, King Asmoday managed to break through into my meditation. I've been working with him since 2020, albeit I had stepped away from demonolatry for a while at the time of this incident.
He was gentle with me, but showed me the aftermath of what would happen if I were to end my own life. He showed me the grief and pain others would have to deal with. He knew I didn't truly want to die, and that I didn't want others to suffer because of me. It was a brutal vision, but it was needed. It snapped me out of it, and he talked me down, comforting me and consoling me, making sure I got the rest I needed.
I genuinely think I would have attempted if he hadn't stepped in. That night really put things into perspective for me, and whenever my head gets ahead of me, I've been able to fight off any thoughts of harming myself with relative ease.
Thank you, King Asmodeus, for saving my life that night.
