#asr

[archiesoniconline]

Sonic Universe Restored #96 is now live! Happy Easter! When an unknown threat attacks the Jeweled Scepter shrine, it's up to Bunnie and Blaze to put a stop to it. Plus, an unexpected twist in a journey of self-discovery. Read here

[inkedinserendipity]

here’s something that surprised me on my all systems red reread: secunit sits down like halfway through the book! page 104, murderbot sits on one of the hopper’s benches.

and the first time i read this book i paid that line no mind! it’s just sitting down. i didn’t have the context to be like :O secunits don’t do that. secunits aren’t supposed to sit while on duty!

and now i’m thinking about the crew, who also have no idea what this means. and about mensah, who just minutes ago told it that she sees it as a person who’s trying to help (this is the first time its insides “go melty!”) and i simply do not think it is a coincidence that murderbot sits down next to its humans for the first time probably ever right after being told by a human for the first time probably ever that they see it as a person.

and it’s so satisfying on a narrative and rereading level, right, because the first time you read the book you’re with the crew—you have no idea what this means. but then you read it again, knowing more about secunits, and then the full emotional weight of that one line hits. because now you have context!

anyway this line was such a lovely example of why the murderbot diaries in particular is such a good reread. the context makes everything hit afresh the second time around, just as hard if not harder than the first!

[cooking-with-hailstones]

Hailstones Murderthoughts: All Systems Red review

(For those who didn't see the post, I'm re-listening to the Murderbot books in anticipation of Platform Decay coming out NEXT WEEK!!)

Every time I come back to these books, different things stand out to me and I come away with more thoughts, more reflections, and more ideas about these characters. I so appreciate writing that rewards people for coming back time and time again.

Here are my All Systems Red thoughts after this week's listen-through, jotted down as I weeded my garden.

Okay, let's just start out by saying Martha is the master of the cold open. Every single murder bot book starts with a straight banger and ASR is absolutely no exception to this. “I could have become a mass murderer when I hacked my governor module”?

Absolutely brilliant.

This whole opening section is just a master class in very very efficient

world building.

Small thing, but I do think it's kind of funny. A little americanism. I’ve never heard anyone who actually uses the metric system refer to kilometers as kilos. Kilos usually refers to kilograms. I don't know why kilograms alone have earned that diminutive, but that's just how it is.

“They don't give murderbots decent education modules on anything except murdering…”

Immediately establishing that despite what we have just seen (Murderbot very effectively saving Bharadwaj) its usual use is for violence. And it doesn't know much about the world outside beyond its very explicitly stated purpose, and has probably been kept deliberately ignorant.

I know I've said it before but one of my absolute favourite moments of the TV show is having Ratthi going “well hellooo, who's this??” 

It's such a good read on the scene, and since we're in Murderbot’s POV we have no evidence that this wasn't exactly what happened and it just Did Not Get It.

One of my early critiques of this book that I still stand by is the fact that none of the characters feel particularly distinct, aside from Murderbot and Mensah. Of course, having now read the rest of the series and gotten to know these characters well, I can obviously see their continuity. But in this book, they all just fade into a fairly homogenous background of “competent people helping make plot move.” But, fair enough, this is Murderbot’s story. Its relationship with Mensah is the most important development of this book, and the relationship with the rest of them comes later. 

It's kind of downplayed in a few small moments throughout the book, but Murderbot does say that it has been enjoying this contract. Which gives more support to the idea that Murderbot really does like its job when said job is going well and it has autonomy. Jumping ahead to artificial condition, it's kind of an answer to Art’s question about whether it dislikes its function. Murderbot does like its function; its actual function. It doesn't like being used for violence, but it will use violence as a tool whenever necessary to protect its clients. That’s what it actually likes.

“... complaining about high prices for shitty equipment- I don't take it personally”

This is a very tongue in cheek way of reminding the audience that Murderbot is not a person, or at least is not considered to be so, by itself or by anyone else.

The quiet and careful threat of the autopilot cutting out… oughhhhh. Gets me every single time. (And yes the show having Mensah walk away from the controls DID annoy me) 

“I don't do automated package updates anymore, now that I can help it.”

Man, doesn't that line carry so much weight with the ganaka pit backstory?? Even with murderbot not being 100% aware of what the hell happened with Ganaka, it just doesn't want to do that. God that hits hard.

And also the fact that if it hadn't hacked its governor module, it would have killed PresAux exactly the same way it killed its clients at Ganaka. Given what we know about Murderbot and how much it wants to protect people, this is such a gut punch for re-readers (Martha!! You are so cool and awesome!!)

(And also extending this logic - I wonder how the DeltFall units must have felt…)

Speaking of deltfall…

Murderbot's intense rage at the Secunits killing their clients. Deliberately acknowledging the smart thing, which would be just getting everyone the fuck out of there, and then deciding to kill the “rogue” secunits anyways. I wonder how much of this is latent rage at itself.

I will never stop wondering about the tech who accidentally downloaded the full specs that allowed MB figure out how to hack the govmod. Was it really an accident? Did that happen to any other units? Much to ponder. Much fodder for fic writers.

Genuinely, I am still kind of baffled by preservation’s rule about planetary leaders having to participate in their normal jobs. Like there's a reason that nowadays we don't let politicians hold on to their accounts and investments etc. while they're in office. And as we know, Mensah doing this survey made things a lot more complicated for EVERYONE, and made things way more expensive for preservation. Anyways, just doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I understand that it had to happen for plot reasons.

Also, I love how petty Murderbot is about Gurathin. Every time an opportunity comes up MB is just like “antisocial. Loser. Annoying. No bitches” and I love that for them. 

The armor as a symbolic element at the end of the book is something I keep turning over and over in my head. 

“Can I still have my armor”

“I’d have to leave the armor behind. But maybe I wouldn't need it anymore.”

The tension of going to preservation to be ostensibly free, but also completely unable to fulfill its function because its function wouldn't be NEEDED on preservation. I think that is a bigger part of the reason for leaving than a lot of people give it credit for. 

End of book thoughts: 

Every single time I come back to any of these books, I have a different takeaway. This time, I was just thinking about how much Ganaka Pit haunts the narrative in ways that maybe Martha didn't even realize at the time. 

Murderbot's aversion to automatic downloads. 

Murderbot's terror at the combat override module. 

Murderbot's cold and calculated fury when it thinks the deltfall units went rogue and slaughtered their clients. 

There's just so many quiet moments where you see how utterly devoted Murderbot is to it's job, and how much it likes keeping people safe, and how core a violation it is to have to act against that instinct, and how utterly destructive it is that MB keeps being forced into violence that it DOES NOT WANT TO DO.

Part 2: Artificial Condition

[riseandfallofsecunit]

That one scene from ASR

[mango-mush]

In a world where you get a secret filled count down to you identifying your soulmate Mensah isn't shocked by the words on her wrist. She is shocked by the owner.

//day 20, 20 Truths

[I like to watch media.]

Mensah smiled down at the newest secret, the first truth that will lead her to the next member of their little soul family. It was a silly secret, to be sure. But most of the first ones were small and silly. Things you have no real reason to hide

[I don't like supervisor Lee.]

She was pouring her morning beverage when that one appeared, she couldn't help relating to it. Who hasn't had a bad supervisor you have to play nice with?

[I would rather be watching media right now.]

It was Sophie who noticed it change. Mensah had been playing with her, lifting her in the air. “Do you think they would wanna watch Honor Princess Detective with me?” she asked

“Maybe.” Mensah said, Honor Princess Detective was most certainly A show, one that Sophie liked. It was dramatic and complicated with some sort of love square? Mensah didn't understand.

[Every time he talks I back burner him, he has never said anything of worth.]

Mensah saw it when she was trying on clothes to recycle, she did a little twirl and her sleeve had ridden up. Backburner? That's an odd way to say ‘ignore’ she liked it.

[My favorite media is sanctuary moon]

Without thinking she searched for the series, a drama with more then twenty seasons (which was entirely too many, in Mensah's opinion) she opened the first one and… wow.. yeah, they would love Honor Princess Detective.

[I don't want to be here, but where would I go?]

She was brushing her teeth and paused for a moment. Hopefully they just had a dead end job instead of being indentured. If they were at least Mensah knew that if her soul family pooled their resources they could afford to buy almost any contract.

[I couldn't save her, I think she wanted to die.]

She stared at this one for a long time. Were they a doctor of some sort? A passerby to an accident? Either way her heart went out to them.

[I'm glad this is over, I needed a break.]

It's good that they get breaks, she thought as she toyed with a pen. She was supposed to be doing paperwork but the pen was more amusing. There was a survey happening soon, she put her own name into the applicant pool. It wouldn't be a surprise if she was chosen.

[I think they are going to rent me out soon, I don't want to go.]

They were rented out? Maybe they really were indentured. Mensah would have to start saving.

[I hid my media files in the repair cubicle. I hope they don't find them.]

Weren't repair cubicles a construct thing? Maybe they worked with constructs. Mensah couldn't help wondering if the “she” they had mentioned had been a comfort unit. The companies insist that the units love their jobs but the companies also say that their indentured employees love their jobs.

[I hope she doesn't choose me, she seems annoying.]

I was packing when it showed up, mostly long sleeves as the planet would be cold. “Choose you?” she muttered, staring at it.

“Choose me?” Farai asked, hugging her from behind. Mensah shifted so she could read the words. It was odd that nither Farai nor Tano had gotten new words.

Ratthi and Pin-Lee did though, so maybe they just wouldn't be close with Mensah's spouses. “Some planets have marital traditions once you reach a certain age. Maybe they are from one of them.”

“Maybe.” Mensah agreed, leaning further into the touch. The words ‘rent me’ lingered in the back of her mind.

[I'm glad she didn't choose me.]

She was walking through the lobby of a rental company. She didn't want a SecUnit, but her (outrageously expensive) bond wasn't granted without it. But at least her soul family was having a better day.

[I have downloaded so much media I barely have room for anything else.]

Everything was ready and they were finally shipping off to the survey. The words decorated almost everyone's wrist in neat blue text, they were steady, unhesitating and bold. Even if they're secrets were either silly media based ones or admittance of deaths.

[I don't want to go. But they rented me.]

Everyone was doing their best to ignore the word. That was a lie. Pin-Lee was researching contract companies that ‘rented’ out contracts and keeping an updated list in the common feed. Gruathen was deep in his interface, narrowing the search and sending personnel files rented out within three days of the words appearing to the shared feed.

Mensah and Bharadwaj searched through any tagged as ‘medical officer,’ ‘medic,’ or ‘doctor,’ while Ratthi, Overse, and Arada searched through the ‘tech,’ ‘technician,’ or ‘repairer’ tagged ones. And Volescu piloted the transport, offering encouragement where he could.

Beneath them, in a cargo box covered in bright warning stickers, was a SecUnit watching media. Episode 206 of Sanctuary moon. Its favorite.

[Humans are stupid. And gross.]

Mensah was too busy patting Ratthi's back to really notice the words. He had tried to fit one too many marshmallows into his mouth, then he said something to get her attention. Her reaction made him laugh which made him choke.

Behind her the door opened, the SecUnit entered. “Are you in need of assistance?” it asked.

“No,” she laughed as Ratthi stopped with his dramatics. Now he was quietly choking with a side of turning red from embarrassment “he's fine, aren't you, Ratthi?”

He nodded shakily with a thumbs up. The SecUnit nodded once and stepped out of the room.

When she finally did notice the words Pin-Lee and Gurathin were also on break. “That was an odd phrase.” she said, looking at her wrist

“Maybe they're augmented.” Gurathin said, pouring water into his freeze dried food pack.

“Maybe.” Pin-Lee said, leaning on the counter to reach a snack pack. “But do you really consider yourself no longer human?”

He shrugged, “some do.”

[I like that they all like each other]

The security ready room was between the bedrooms and the mess hall. Ratthi would wake up early to make breakfast then poke at his friends until they would accept their fate. Mensah knew this because she was often the first poked, she could hear him walking through the hall knocking on every door.

She stretched, yawning. She had new words, the most affectionate she'd seen from them. Ratthi knocked again, “oh, I'm coming.”

Her place was set, tea already made with just enough cream and sugar.

[I hacked my governor module.]

“Gurathin.” She said, He was pale. “Gurathin, once it restarts.”

He nodded shakily. “It's Watching.” He whispered. “But I'll check.”

[They are planning something. I hope it's not murder; I kinda like them.]

The words appeared a few hours ago, right after Gurathin had volunteered to destroy all the surveillance equipment in his room. They met there to talk about the situation. “Yeah, it's governor module is hacked.”

“Did you find the media?” Ratthi asked, sitting on Gruathen's bed and kicking his feet.

Gruathen nodded, “mostly sanctuary moon with some others mixed in”

“So it is our new soulmate.” Pin-Lee said, already drafting a purchasing agreement along with cross referencing preservation forms for both citizenship with refugee forms to draft a SecUnit specific citizenship form.

“Not necessarily.” Gruathen said, “it could be a trick.”

“Thats a very elaborate trick.” Mensah said by the door.

“Are you alright in there?” SecUnit asked outside the door.

“Yes, thank you.” Mensah said. “We're just trying to fix Gruathen's camera.”

[they think I'm dumb. I'm not, I just don't care enough.]

Mensah laughed as the words changed, this was the first time she watched it happen, the letters appeared instantly, like they were typed. “no we don't, sorry.”

“What?” It said.

“Can you please help us?” She amended, “we clearly don't know what we're doing.”

It entered, scanning the room, gaze lingering on Gurathin. He looked away, stepping beside Pin-Lee.

[I don't know why they are being so weird. It's freaking me out.]

Mensah saw the words as she was inserting her samples for analysis. She stood, walking quickly to the security ready room. Ratthi was leaning against the wall scrolling through types of flora he'd identified on the planet, you know… for fun… Pin-Lee was there too. Because the security room was cool, I guess. And the SecUnit in the corner, staring at them.

“Out.” Mensah said, pointing out the door.

Ratthi gestured towards the SecUnit “But,” he started

“Out.” She said again.

[I hate eye contact.]

“Ratthi!” She shouted, she had just convinced it to stop wearing it's helmet. “stop bothering it!”

“I wasn't!” He called back, pouting.

“Sorry.” Overse said quietly.

[I'm going to leave once they are all asleep.]

She stared for a long time. She thought about it as she brushed her teeth, she almost said something when she bid it goodnight. They never got around to telling it. Maybe they would later, she wasn't sure it ever got any words for them.

[speed-knights]

[je55ilodraws]

I said, "Dr. Mensah, do you need me for anything else?"

She turned her chair to face me. "No, I'll call if we have any questions." I had worked for some contracts that would have kept me standing here the entire day and night cycle, just on the off chance they wanted me to do something and didn't want to bother using the feed to call me. Then she added, "You know, you can stay here in the crew area if you want. Would you like that?"

They all looked at me, most of them smiling. One disadvantage in wearing the armor is that I get used to opaquing the faceplate. I'm out of practice at controlling my expression. Right now I'm pretty sure it was somewhere in the region of stunned horror, or maybe appalled horror.

Mensah sat up, startled. She said hurriedly, "Or not, you know, whatever you like."

I said, "I need to check the perimeter," and managed to turn and leave the crew area in a totally normal way and not like I was fleeing from a bunch of giant hostiles.

[ipkkndlovescenes]

Mind Games

Declaration of War...

Mind Games

“Somewhere between love and hate lies confusion, misunderstanding and desperate hope.” ― Shannon L. Alder

Upon learning of her engagement, Arnav was deeply disturbed, like an injured lion. He wanted her to take a plunge and accept his love, but even after this, he would do the same when he asked her, What does it matter to you even if he gets engaged now or after years

And who gave him the courage to hold on to this hope after knowing she is engaged...Well, it was Khushi herself after scolding him... but she couldn't utter the word his sagai...engagement, look at his eyes, his keen curiosity, a last hope that she would accept that it matters, that she will recognize his love because he loves her more than he does to himself or anyone at this point.

And then, at the top, she was asking TIME; it was she or La who needed time... for this prep —what preps when you can't utter or even think of his engagement? She didn't get that he was saying the same thing and burning in this hell, too.

So he asked, What does it matter to you if his engagement happens or not? And she was speechless with her shivering lips in return and couldn't even meet his eyes. She had nothing to say; she couldn't, but at the same time, she didn't want him to humiliate her further because Diwali was way too much for her to handle.

But he moved forward and pressed the matter further, Khushi, will it matter to you? Ah, he was dying to hear her confession, a word to hang on to further. Their eyes spoke volumes, and he moved his head with every move of her face. How deep this connection was, but they never wanted to admit it.

The games have always been played between them, and no one played better than him. He was the best. Physical, psychological, sexual—his favourite games were the ones he played with her head.

A tilt in his head with a hope that she would admit, yet he was unknown her state of mind and heart.

Khushi had thought silence in such matters suited her: a young Miss blabbering, stood there wearing the moth-eaten tatters of her frayed hopes like a ravaged bride. She had thought at first that it was the chase he craved, or the thrill of conquest, but while both of those might have been true, it was her careless attitude that got him off.

But she declared the opposite of what he wanted to hear...Why will it affect me? What if you get engaged or not?

She began to get stressed, worried, agitated, furious, apprehensive, provoked, scared, irate, troubled, and very uneasy. Her mind was a jumble of fears at the moment, but, feeling his burning gaze on her, she gathered her courage and made it clear to him by meeting his eyes.

"Did you hear, it doesn't matter to me..."

A loud and clear statement echoed in their surroundings, and it took him a while to delve into it. He lowered his eyes, but her showing courage to say it by meeting his eyes didn't settle with him easily. How dare she?

The dark ASR took over, and now Arnav was again protected behind the veil of darkness and cruelty. There will be no mercy for anyone who will hurt Arnav... not even his Khushi.

The pain and the hurt were all they could share ...but he was not done with her yet.

"I've had enough, seen enough, and now I want the truth out, I want this game to end, I simply don't care anymore."

“SO IT DOESN'T MATTER TO YOU?!" ASR's mind yelled at her through his eyes, and by grabbing her wrist, he climbed upstairs and threw her into the fire.

He set another challenge for her to see the peak of her ego and his. He puts her in charge of preparing for HIS engagement, the one she couldn't utter the word for, but now she will see all the arrangements and make it happen too.

As she didn't bother to tell him she was getting engaged, but he was being fair with her. No games, no gimmicks. Uff, how cruel he is here.

A lethal eye over her fake smile alarmed her, and he didn't stop there either. He could see how much hurt he had caused her again, but she did the same, so everything was fair in love and war. He stopped near her and declared his war...

"I hope it doesn't matter to you now."

The mind vs. heart game was set as a challenge; who will win, we will see...

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