#astra shitposts

[leondantes]

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here

[leondantes]

Dante brings Trish to a planetarium, intending to blow her mind with knowledge of just how big the universe is, but instead accidentally gives her a crisis because she found out about the possibility of the sun exploding.

[leondantes]

You will have to prye the headcanon that the sparda boys struggle to grow body hair thanks to daddy sparda's genes out of my cold dead HANDS.

Dante's stubble, the chest hair? He cultivated that shit for YEARS. He was in a coma for a month and his hair grew for sure, but he got maybe a little bit more stubble. Barely noticable. He needs the facial hair otherwise people think he's aged backwards Benjamin Button style.

Vergil realizes this and immediately starts threatening the facial hair when Dante Truly Irritates Him

[leondantes]

Living out my dreams of getting to eat Dante's boobs

[leondantes]

The truth come out. Does papa ezio is manwhore? @spoiler1001

[leondantes]

Someone: One day you'll pick up your child and set them down for the last time without knowing it 😔

Sparda, picking up one of his grown ass children and throwing him at the other: Not me

[leondantes]

au where instead of being twins, dante was born several years after vergil. this means a 12-13 year old dante shows up at the temen-ni-gru and lady has never been more confused when she sees some random ass kid running around shooting shit. vergil tries to ground him.

[leondantes]

My god, I just realized. As their creator, is Mundus basically Trish and Gilvers dad?