𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔡𝔢𝔳𝔦𝔩 (ℜ𝔶𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔊𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔵 𝔐𝔞𝔱𝔱 𝔐𝔲𝔯𝔡𝔬𝔠𝔨) 𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔰𝔱
technical difficulties with Tumblr means I'm reposting the writing I just put in the astrodevil community thing here
Ryland and Matt meet in their second year of school at UC Berkeley, in a writing course they happen to have. They do their final project together, and the next semester they have another class together. They get closer, and start having study sessions, even after the classes they’re taking have diverged and there’s no good reason for them to study together. They meet at dining halls between lectures, they end up in the library at three AM. Ryland reads for Matt sometimes, to help him, even though there’s an eReader Matt could use. Ryland’s just helping a friend. He knows they can’t be more. Matt’s said he’s a devout catholic many times. Daredevil, meanwhile, makes his home in Berkeley, though he doesn’t patrol often.
Matt gets into law school at Stanford, while Ryland stays at UC Berkeley for his Ph D. Daredevil moves when Matt does. That’s Ryland’s first clue.
Despite going to different schools, the pair make it a point to meet up and ‘hang out’ as often as possible. This goes on for months. Ryland, in spite of his best efforts, finds himself falling in love with Matt more and more. He knows they can’t be anything. He knows it would never works. He never brings it up, though Matt feels the need to insist they’re only just friends at least weekly. Ryland only affirms the claim, ignoring how Matt gets close to Ryland when they’re in private, how the future lawyer puts his head on the scientist’s shoulder whenever he gets the chance.
Matt is starts to realize his actual feelings, he goes to his church, who don’t help much. He holds the feelings in.
Until one night, he stumbles into Ryland’s apartment injured after a patrol. Ryland freaks out but helps regardless; he’d had his suspicions about his ‘friend’ and the devil themed vigilante for years now. This only confirms it. Matt is delirious–there’s blood all over Ryland’s apartment. In his delirium, Matt says “I love you”. It’s the only thing he says all night.
The next morning he asks what happened. Ryland tells him, but leaves out Matt’s confession. It’s not important. It doesn’t really matter. And, to be so frank, Ryland already knew. He knew it wouldn’t work out. Matt remembers what he said, late one night. He’s scared.
Daredevil appears in Hell’s Kitchen for the first time, and Ryland Grace knows then he will never hear from Matt Murdock again.
Two months later, Ryland is fired from his research for calling the leader of his field a ‘staggering waste of carbon.’
Five years later, Ryland Grace is sent on a suicide mission to space.
As Matt listens to the radio, he knows the truth. Ryland did not volunteer. He would never.
He listens to the radio, finally accepting his own feeling because he knows nobody else will realize the truth, nobody else knows Ryland Grace well enough to. But Matt Murdock knows then that he will never hear from Ryland Grace again.