Update of my Life: Diary of a Lost Dreamer
When I take a moment to look back at my life and analyze my emotions along my path, I feel really old. It is a weird sensation. When I realize that I am just 22 years old and I have a whole set of chapters to explore, I am filled with nostalgic sadness.
I am trying not to be hard on myself for not planning my future one year ahead of my graduation. I was lost, I am still lost, but things have worked out in a curious way. When I returned from my trip to Europe to visit my brother, I felt the hurry to get a job, to have money, so I got a job as a customer service agent. I quit after 6 months, because the campaign took some decisions that severely affected us, employees. Then, I was unemployed for 5 months, and I must admit that I was having a hard time; applying to every offer I stumbled upon, sending my CV hundreds of times and getting no results.
Money was running out, and I was this close to return to a call center when, one month ago, I received a call for a high school teacher position. Thru networking in the tennis group of my area, my CV ended at the recruiter's hands. It was a big challenge, the position was for a technology teacher, I studied physics. I would need to teach one of my weaknesses, electronics, and one of my strengths, programming. However, I took the challenge and prepared my class simulation and my interview.
I got hired! :), oh but now I need to work almost everyday :(. Just kidding. I am grateful for the opportunity but it has been tough these weeks. I have no teaching experience and I think my personality sometimes is not suitable for the job. This whole thing is a "fake it til you make it" taken to the next level. I already cried two times, but here I am, still standing?
I am thinking all the time in pursuing my masters degree, is what I love, and I hope with my soul that I can build my life around astronomy. The plan for now is to wait how this education path goes, and save money. Maybe in 2025 I can continue with my studies, I feel scared and still unprepared, like a little child. Discipline, unfortunately, has not been in my dictionary since I graduated. So, I expect this whole experience to teach me how to learn, cause as they say, the one that can teach kids can teach anything to anyone. And teaching is learning! I want to prove to myself that I can learn and feel passion again.
I am doing fine, or that's what I am trying to convince myself. Let's keep going <3
