when will people learn there is not such thing as “formerly” gifted ??
because giftedness is a neurodivergence and it doesn’t go away as you age
you can learn that with literally just one google search. i’m tired of being treated as a neurotypical by everyone including other nd folks (and other gifted persons who don’t quite get what giftedness is either) - it makes everything harder. i can’t work like a nt because i ain’t one. this isn’t a “gift” my brain just develops differently. pls educate yourselves
I’m continually fascinated by the way Trigun, both the anime and manga, plays with age.
When we meet Vash, he’s 131 (in the anime) or 150 (in the manga), but he looks to be in his early twenties. He’s gotten to know generations of people since the Fall. He remembers their names, and saves their lives. He’s old, weary, and depressed -- incongruous with his youth, beauty, and perfect smile. He loves people and loses them, and watches humanity do the same. Each moment of his life can be appreciated as it is, and then assimilated into the context of his long memory.
At the time of the fall, Vash is both ten years old and one year old. He can think and act like a ten year old, his body has the size and strength of a ten year old, but he only has a year of experience, a lot of which involves listening to Rem. No wonder Vash comes off as naive, and Knives (actually in the same situation) feels responsible for him.
The plants’ early development has an element of free will versus determinism, or nature vs. nurture, depending on how you look at it. Vash and Knives are conditioned by their environments, and share similar experiences before the Fall, but they make very different choices (free will beats determinism). Alternatively, Vash and Knives’ choices are based on their advanced plant biology, not the (limited) experiences they’ve had (nature beats nurture). The relationship between Vash’s physical self and life experience has flipped.
I think Vash’s childhood situaton resonates with me because it’s an exaggerated version of the asynchronous development that we call giftedness, which shaped everything about my life. (And also inspired my gifted problems headcanons). Giftedness means being out of sync in so many ways. Out of sync with your peers; out of sync with yourself (because of uneven abilities), even from moment to moment What age are you right now? Who knows. Depends on whether you’re reading, doing math, stacking blocks, sharing toys, or riding a bike.
And then there’s manga Wolfwood. I wish I could talk about him without spoilers, but I can’t. So all of that is behind the cut. TL;DR, Wolfwood is also multiple ages simultaneously, and it’s interesting to think about how that affects his perspective, and compare it to Vash’s.
Age, in general, resonates with me because it’s become an existential issue. Like so many millennials, I haven’t done most of the checklist of things you’re supposed to do by my age, and face pressure from other people that I’m running out of time. I’m at the age I thought meant “grown up” when I was young, the age my parents were then. Now, I’m nothing like what I’d imagined a grownup to be.
My writing is still weird because my life experience lags well behind my writing technique and ability to analyze media. Will it always feel so frustratingly uneven?
What do you think about age in Trigun? What aspect of it interests you most?
Wolfwood
Inside that beautiful body is a person on the edge of adulthood, who has had to shoulder burdens beyond his years. Like Vash as a child, he’s pulled a lot of knowledge out of limited experience What age is Wolfwood really, even on the inside?
This awkward, sweet, very young looking person who compliments Vash’s smile has already attempted will soon attempt to kill God.
If you held a suffering competition, Vash would win in terms of sheer amount of trauma, but Wolfwood wins on density. When almost every experience of your life involves people being cruel to you or others, it’s hard to imagine a better life, much less a better world. Wolfwood’s cynicism runs deep.
Each moment and decision is a meaningful fraction of his life. That would intensify his guilt. However, being exposed to new perspectives would have a greater effect on him. It makes sense he would be influenced by Vash’s philosophy...if he can get past the “every moment of my life was traumatic and people were almost always horrible” thing.
My mom told me when I was much younger, they sought the assistance of a developmental psychologist to see me since I seemed to be different from people my age. A bit too cheeky, too mouthy, too advanced.
That was how I found myself a member of the Philippine Association for the Gifted. I don’t remember ever renewing my membership or paying dues.
But that, I guess, explains why I’ve always been socially screwed-up. It’s not just in law school. It was everywhere.
I can never get along with most people my age unless they’re just as odd as I am. Younger children like me. Adults treat me like one of their own.
I knew I was such an arrogant kid, and I tried to change myself, thinking this was all my fault.
But... it’s frustrating to know I’m like this because of something I can’t control.
Every time I write a new poem, I have a crisis that it is either “too Asian” or “not Asian enough.” But I want to reclaim English language poetry from my colonized genealogy. Poetry is too important to be left alone to white people. I don’t think that I’m special, but I do think that my writing should look different, because I have a different story to tell.
One thing I have noticed about my attitude is that it make me hesitant to write about topics that are too “universal,” in fear that I end up white-washing my own voice. I try to avoid writing certain kinds of emotional narratives for that reason, but I often stray from that commitment. I try to explain the parts of my life that don’t fit into boxes. Poetry is a last-ditch effort to give voice to what I cannot otherwise articulate.
Wittgenstein said that what we cannot speak of, we must pass over in silence. I try not to write about things that are outside of my area of expertise. Which means there is no small irony in the subtitle of this blog: “Love and other Drugs.” I have no idea what love is, and psychoactive substances scare me. But I think of the title as being more than the sum of its parts.
Another final big issue for me that quietly lurks in the background of all my writing is my anxiety about age. I skipped high school to attend college early at 15, motivated by a deathly fear of high school social life after a traumatizing middle school experience. The process ended up working out okay for me, but it came with some near misses and close calls. A single small deviation from my story could have caused things to work out much worse than they did, so in that sense I am very lucky. But I frequently get frustrated when my emotional and personal maturity are unable to keep pace with my intellectual growth and the harsh personal standards I set for myself. I keep asking myself for more, and when I cannot deliver on the promises and goals I make for myself, it pains me. Even more so when the promises I make to myself involve my responsibilities to other people in my life who I care about.
My problems aren’t that special, after all. They’re only problematic. I have no idea what I’m talking about, but I appreciate it if you’re out there listening.
The gifted tend to demonstrate high reasoning ability, creativity, curiosity, a large vocabulary, and an excellent memory. They often can master concepts with few repetitions. They may also be physically and emotionally sensitive, perfectionistic, and may frequently question authority. Typically the rebellion, whether active or passive, reflects underlying feelings of alienation. Some have trouble relating to or communicating with their peers because of disparities in vocabulary size (especially in the early years), personality, and interests. As children, they are out of step with their peers and their social concept improves when placed with children of similar ability.
He went straight from childhood to adulthood without really living out his adolescence. Maybe that’s the reason, he laughs, “why I never understood teenagers. I was a child for a very long time and became an adult right afterwards.”
