Feb 20, 2025
i don't remember if i mentioned this here but i assigned myself a goal of making 50 new-to-me recipes this year in part bc i'm hoping it will help break me of my feeling that cooking to a recipe is "cheating". i'm pretty behind on the goal at this point but it's still early so it's fine. what i can say so far is that i feel absolutely zero pride when i cook something delicious from a recipe BUT i think that kind of lets me enjoy it more?? like having less of a stake in how a meal ends up sort of lets me relax into it. feel free to commend me for my incredibly normal relationship to everything ever btw, i know, it's really impressively regular
#on some level i think doing anything that involve someone else's input or advice is cheating#the past few years have been a lot of actively interrogating that after being genuinely shocked that other people don't feel that way#insanely the thing that first broke it for me was video games. i was like. why the fuck do the people in my life who i think of as good#at games#read guides & stuff?? isn't that cheating??? is everyone always lying to me ALL THE TIME abt their ability to DO THINGS#turns out sometimes you were autistic the whole time & interpreting rules a bit too literally. the whole time. forever#anyway it's good to cook i wish it were less physically painful to grocery shop but the fuckinG SNOWWWWW
