synopsis: you and schlatt were streaming and he says something he wasn't supposed to.
tw: none.
a/n: small little drabble. not proofread(when do i ever tbh?)
you were in Texas to visit Schlatt for the week. ofcourse, you two decide to do an irl stream. the two of you were gonna react to some videos the viewers sent in. as you were talking about a video, you schlatt say something.
"you look pretty..." schlatt murmurs under his breath, looking at you from the side as you talk about a video.
"what was that?" you ask, whipping your head around to look at schlatt.
"...I said you look shitty! goodnight y/n!" schlatt yells as he stands up and runs outside of the room.
you look at chat with wide eyes, "yeah, he definitely said i was pretty." you say as people in chat clip the moment with you not knowing.
Do yourself and your goddess a favor. The next time it rains, step outside and let it land on your skin. Take a deep breath of petrichor and know that in that moment, I am with you. You are not alone. I am thé water in the sky, the gentleness that brings the growth, the torrent that destroys and brings floods. And I love you.
summary. after the games you find out what life is like with coriolanus outside of the capitol.
warnings. none....just fluff. wordcount: 439. (a/n this is my first fic so...)
It was a cold winter. really cold. the temperature was nothing compared to the cold demeanor coriolanus portrayed while in the capitol, though. luckily ever since the games, you and coriolanus had gone your own way. It was a small forest – the only thing in the array of debris was an abandoned cottage that coriolanus of course took the liberty of fixing up for you guys. It wasn’t much, and was definitely nothing compared to the luxury of the capitol, but it was enough for you and him. You and him – that’s how it had always been ever since you guys met; and that’s how it would stay. days at the cottage were peaceful. the suns rays peaking through the curtains you had made by hand as coriolanus stirs from his rest. you were awake. you were always awake before him, but somehow he never realized. you slowly bring one eye open as to not raise suspicion as coriolanus peppers kisses on your bare shoulder. it was mornings like these you appreciated. mornings like these that made you grateful you were his and he was yours. eventually you have to get up, and without a word you kiss him before leaving the room. the taste of mint lingering on yours and now his lips from when you had brushed your teeth earlier that morning. you decide to make breakfast for the both of you since coriolanus can’t cook for the life of him. you thought he had went back to sleep, but your speculation is quickly put to rest as you feel his arms wrap around your waist. “you never said good morning” he whines as he lays his head on your shoulder. “was my kiss not enough for you?” you retort as you turn the stove off. “Maybe another” he replies as he moves his hands towards your hips to turn you around. he kisses your cheek; not once, not twice, but three times, or at least that’s what you counted. “don’t be stingy” you say under your breath as you stand on your toes to pull him in for an actual kiss. his hands on your hips keep you steady as you run your hands over his freshly shaved and bleached buzzcut. he was convinced he wouldn’t let it grow out after moving here with you – which you were perfectly fine with. he pulls away to go do what you presume is taking a shower, and you walk away with a crimson red blush spread throughout your face. mornings like these were what you looked forward to. mornings like these were what made you realize you loved coriolanus snow.
Summary: how some of the MHA fellas would tell you that they wanna spend the rest of their lives with you :’)
Word count: 3.5k
Requests, DMs, and Asks: OPEN!!! (plz i want some mutuals, i’m so lonely LMAO)
Warnings: just,,, soft. this is all so soft <3. i definitely cried writing and reading this lmao. some mentions of cheating, but it doesn’t actually happen. i make a few sexual innuendos, but none of it actually happens LMAO. some curse words??? if i forgot anything, just lmk!!
A/N: hi there friends!! this is my first headcanon set EVER! i’m very excited lol; i put a lot of thought and effort into these, honestly. i know they’re DUMMY long (unless if they’re a good length,,,), but like i said, it’s my first one, so i have no idea what i’m doing lol. i’ll happily take criticism though! :D i can promise that there are no spoilers for any season or episode!! other than that, i hope yall enjoy! <3
Midoriya Izuku
you and mr. deku have been dating for several months now, maybe between six and nine months
haha six nine...i’m a fucking child
y’all are in your last year at UA, both eighteen years old
i gotta admit...izuku “hot guy” midoriya has grown into a STRAPPING soon-to-be-hero
iykwim,,,,
anyways LMAO
it was saturday afternoon/evening...like...the honestly beautiful, yet surreal time where it transitions from late afternoon into early evening, the time where it feels like you’re floating and can go anywhere, do anything, with no repercussions
you were laying on izuku’s bed, scrolling on your phone or reading a book, waiting for your adorable and hard working boyfriend to come back from training
soft lo-fi jazz was playing from your open laptop sitting on the window sill, making the atmosphere absolutely serene. a cool, spring breeze gently swirled in from the quarter-cracked window. it was chilly, but pleasant
it would have been better if you were in your boyfriend’s fairly beefy arms >:(
but then he walked through the door :)
he greeted you with a familiar smile, bounding over to your bedside in a couple steps, and kissing your forehead tenderly. you couldn’t help but close your eyes at the feeling. the lovely feeling of your man returning home.
“how was training, honey?” “it was great! kacchan showed me his new special move! it’s honestly so powerful, y/n, i can’t wait for you to see it! i think if kacchan and kirishima were to be paired up in some way, they could really be-” “izuku, honey...you’re rambling again.”
he chuckles, all nice and sweet and easy, cheeks tinting a gentle pink. FUCK HE’S SO CUTE-
“sorry, babe, i just get so excited! i mean, we’re going to be real heroes soon! it’s so hard not to get excited!!”
you agreed with him, of course. in a few short months, you will have completed your time at UA High as a student in the hero course. in a few short months, you will start your sidekick duties at a local agency. you were thrilled! just as much as your izuku
the music changed from an upbeat and preppy tune, to one of...not sadness or melancholy, but...pleasantry. it was soft and buoyant, but nothing to dance to...or so you thought...
until izuku pulled you to your feet and into his chest, chuckling at your shocked expression
sheepishly, he asked, “may i have this dance?”
with a chuckle and a nod, you accepted
who wouldn’t tho?
you couldn’t reach up the whole way, but you were still able to wrap your hands around his neck. your head rested neatly on his chest. he kept one hand on your lower back, his scarred fingers pressing you close to him. his other hand came up to the back of your neck, his thumb rubbing back and forth at the exposed skin
izuku swayed the two of you in such an...izuku fashion, if that makes sense
like,,, idk, he just took his time with each movement. he wasn’t on beat with the music, not in the slightest, but not in a way that made you uncomfortable. he was very fluid, but exact and methodic with each of his movements.
though it was your first time dancing together, you both held each other like it was your thousandth. you both bobbed in time with each other like it was all practiced
the moment was just... peaceful n so so perfect between you two. the music and the breeze and time of day only enhanced it all. you couldn’t help but close your eyes, taking in izuku’s scent and touch with a smile to your face
little did you know, izuku was tearing up, his gaze focused on your content smile and your relaxed figure in his scarred touch
he thought you were so serene, so beautiful, so perfect in that moment. he felt, he knew that if he were to slow dance with anyone for the rest of his life, he wanted it to be you. he knew that when he came home from a long day of training or being a hero, that he wanted to see your beautiful and content smile when he opened the door
“we should move in together.”
your eyes shot open as his widened. both of you were shocked at his comment.
did he really just say that, you asked yourself
did i really just say that, he asked himself
you peeled your head away from his chest, eyes a bit wide. before you could say anything, izuku began his rambles
“oh gosh! i’m sorry, i hope that wasn’t too forward! you just look so pretty and i just really love you and living with you sounds SO nice but it’s okay if you don’t want that yet, god, please don’t hate me! y/n, i’m so so-”
“you love me?”
you couldn’t help but ask. you and izuku’s love for each other was very obvious, but surprisingly silent. it was something that you both had a strong feeling was true, but could be left unsaid. you could feel it in the way he touched you, and he could see it in your eyes, day in and day out. and now?...now he just admitted to it, out loud for the first time.
of course, izuku was unphased and continued his rant
“well, of course i do! i love you so much y/n, i really do! there’s no one i’d rather spend the rest of my life with! you’re kind and compassionate and-”
you interrupted your boyfriend with a tight hug, face stuffed into his half-sweaty shirt
you mumbled, “i love you, too. i love you so much.”
izuku began tearing up again as he hugged you back, thick muscles encompassing you in a tight embrace
the breeze picked up as a cloud covered the sun outside. just as the song began to change to another upbeat lo-fi chart, izuku pressed a kiss to your temple, a smile stretching his freckle dotted cheeks and gentle, happy tears pricking the corners of his eyes
what a precious baby <3
Bakugou Katsuki
this might be a tad self indulgent
i’m a slut for bakugou <3
if you couldn’t tell by my gif choice
so we all know that bakugou is not one to talk what he thinks,,, like at all
hell, he doesn’t even know what to think when it comes to this shit
you’re his very first girlfriend, only dating about five-six months now. and he has no. clue. what to do.
they always say fake it till ya make it, amirite ladies?
his whole life has been revolved around making himself a hero, so he left no room for dating
but then he met you. and everything changed.
so yeah, y’all have been dating for six-ish months. and tonight y’all were j chillin in katsuki’s apartment. the tv was playing some late night sitcom show, but neither of you were paying attention
you two laid on the couch, your head on his strong chest. his arms were around you, tight and secure and safe. your face was nestled in his neck, breathing in the remnants of his cologne. your one hand drew shapes on his pec, every once and awhile slowing down your movements to feel his fluttering heartbeat under your fingertips. you breathed in tandem, slow and calm, like the summer’s night outside.
it was a bit strange, really. your loud and brash bakugou all...quiet and reserved in the night. not that you didn’t hate your loud and brash baby, and you didn’t hate this new side of bakugou either. it was just...you haven’t seen this side of him yet
especially since you’ve heard so much of what he was like in high school...lmao, thx kirishima
so anyways, you lift up your head with a smile, innocently calling his first name to grab his attention. when he sees the look on your face, he makes a gruff grunting sound under his breath before closing his eyes.
“what’s with the look, idiot?”
you giggle, resting your chin on his chest. you silently count a few freckles on his cheeks before continuing
“what do you think your life is gonna look like within the next year? or five?”
katsuki thought this was an odd question. how could something so simple as a question be so innocent yet so heavy at the same time?
i think that’s one of the reasons why he fell in love with you ya know?...but you don’t know that shhh
he’s emotionally constipated be patient with the poor boy
you never fail to challenge his thoughts, or make him laugh, or make him feel slightly less shitty about work or other things, so of course he loves you <3
he wanted to say all of this to you but like...didn’t. you know what he said?
“be number one hero. duh.”
but you giggled and shook your head slightly. you knew that already! of course you knew that! what kind of girlfriend would you be if you didn’t know that? hell, what kind of girlfriend would you be if you didn’t support that to some degree, you feel me?
“no i mean like...what about us? where do you think we’ll be in a year?”
katsuki.exe has stopped working
no literally
he just...looked at you, attempting to gather his thoughts to say...something, anything. he owed you that much.
from your experiences with katsuki, expressing emotions was extremely hard. so you were patient with him, laying on his chest with a smile as your counted the reasons why you loved him
when he didn’t say anything for a while, you decided to speak up: “i think...i think maybe we’ll be moved in together. and on thursdays and sundays, when you don’t have work, we’ll cook dinner together.” you giggle at a thought, looking off into the distance as you continue. “i’ll try and convince you to get a dog or a cat, but you’ll hate the idea, but then i get one behind your back and you end up loving them so much more than me!”
katsuki had always thought you were beautiful...but now?...holy fuck...there was something so utterly enchanting about the look on your face as you were describing this...this dream, this life with him
he felt honored to be apart of it
he grunted under his breath and nodded, a hand lazily rubbing your back
“i’m game. but only if we get to sleep in on sundays, you got that?”
you weren’t expecting him to just...full on admit his undying love for you, cause you know how he is. but like...you weren’t expecting this either
not because it’s not something he wouldn’t say
it’s because in his own way, this was katsuki’s way of telling you that he wanted that too. he wanted you two to be together long enough for all of that to happen, maybe even forever. in his own way, katsuki wanted to tell you that he wanted to spend the rest of your lives together.
with a wide smile, you curled into his burly figure and closed your eyes, slowly becoming overwhelmed by...by katsuki <3
he sighed heavily before pulling you even closer to him. a chaste kiss is placed on your forehead. with a late-night sitcom on the tv playing, you both fell asleep that night in each others arms, dreaming of a future life that you could share together
i love him <3
n so do you <3
Kirishima Eijirou
I’M SO SOFT FUCKING LOOK AT HIM
OK SO...you and your wonderful boyfriend, eiji, are going on a nice drive in the countryside
it’s saturday, late at night, like...1 am. the stars are out and absolutely BEAUTIFUL, a rarity since y’all live in the city together
idk why, but i imagine eiji to drive a red pick-up truck where there’s like...nothing in the middle, so the front seat is just one big seat?....does that make sense??
like this <3 except it’s like,,,, old brown leather; it has holes and tears and rips, but you and eiji refuse to replace the upholstery,,, too many good memories, you feel?
and not just the dirty kind....unless if yall want me to write that, i tOTALLY CAN AND WILL-
so one of his hands is on the wheel, and the other is on your knee, rubbing his thumb gently into the slight divet
neither of you were talking much, just listening to the soft music going on in the background. but neither of you minded - it was peaceful, serene, absolutely wonderful
“hey babe?” he spoke up out of the blue, glancing at you before returning his eyes to the road. “do you...do you want to get married some day?”
now, you and eiji have only been dating for several months or so. you’ve said ‘i love you’ MANY times, and have been intimate for a lil over three months now. but...talking about your future like this? has never come up...until now
your first thought: ...holy shit is he proposing?
what you said: “um...yeah, some day...wh-why?”
he just shrugged, before growing quiet.
this mf lmao
your skin grew itchy with anticipation and anxiety. i mean...what the fuck is this supposed to all mean?
“well...do you want to get married some day?” you asked, eyes falling on his jawline. under your gaze, you watched it tighten slightly.
a few moments passed before he answered, a smile dancing on his lips
“i’d love to. a nice reception, big cake, close friends and family.”
your lips twitched up into a pleasant smile. an image of eiji in a nice, classic suit standing next to you in your dream wedding dress. smiles on both of your lips and tears in both of your eyes. rings on your fingers. a pleasant reception with your family and closest friends, a large cake being split between everyone
was it so bad that you were imagining yourself in his scenario?
another image popped in your head...a pair of small feet, running up to you, a wide smile that matches their father’s as they call out...mommy.
“do you want kids, too?”
the words fell out before you even realized you were speaking. you began to panic slightly, wondering if this question was too personal right now
but eiji smiled and nodded, eyes still on the road. “yeah...yeah, i’d love to have kids some day! my own lil pebbles running around would be pretty manly! ”
he squeezed your knee briefly as a thought came into his mind: they’ll definitely have her eyes. he squeezed your knee again, a hefty red setting into his cheeks
your heart started beating again, faster and faster with each thrum. the love of your life wanted all of this with...with you, right? were you hearing this right?
you placed your hand over his, slipping your fingers under his palm. he wrapped his own fingers around your hand and brought it to his lips, tenderly kissing the knuckles. his eyes never left the road, but he was here and present and jesus fuck this was all real
he rolled up to a stop sign, the car squeaking out of slight protest. eiji pulled you close to him, wrapping one strong arm around your shoulders. you fit perfectly into the crook of his arm, your head comfortably resting against his collarbone.
sweetly and gently, eiji leaned down to kiss the crown of your head before continuing to drive down the road.
you had to make sure. you just had to.
“eiji?” “yes, baby?” “you...do you...do you think you’d want all that with me?”
oh, your poor boyfriend. your poor, poor boyfriend. how could he want that with anyone else? did he make you feel like you weren’t enough or something?
eijirou kirishima loves you with his whole fucking chest bro. like,,, full on infatuation, can’t get enough of you, needs you day and night, would probably die without you, kind of love
“there’s no one else i’d rather spend my life with, baby. absolutely no one. i love you so much, you know that, right? i’d do just about anything to see my pebble smile.”
eiji’s the type of guy to tell you what’s on his mind, what he’s feeling in his chest, in his heart. and he won’t hold back. so you know every word he just said...he means it. he wants to spend his life with you. he loves you, so fucking much. he’d do anything to see you smile.
“i love you, eiji. so much. so so much...you know that right?”
“of course i do, baby.”
when he parked the truck, a soft alt rock song playing from the radio, he pressed his lips to yours in a passionate, meaningful kiss. he held you close as if you would disappear, and whispered “i love you” over and over again on your lips as if you would forget
that night, you two talked about a beautiful future that you could share, kisses and giggles in between every other word.
Sero Hanta
OK SO THIS ONE
THIS ONE IS THE MOST SELF INDULGENT
when i tell you i’ve been thinking about this for WEEKS MONTHS
so sero’s been wanting to propose to you for a WHILE, but just...didn’t know how
he knew he wanted to say it all special-like and spoil the absolute hell outta you when he did it though
so he got together with some of his best pals to create a master plan!
you noticed that your lovely boyfriend was spending lots of time with his friends - kirishima, bakugou, and kaminari
you didn’t mind...at first
you knew he lived a busy life, fightin crime n savin lives n shit, and so you were perfectly fine that he was spending some well-deserved downtime with his good friends!
...but then shit started getting shady
he would wake up early to go hang out with them, come home late from hanging out with them, wouldn’t text you for HOURS when he was with them...ALL THE TIME.
you started to feel neglected and insecure
“what if he’s lying?...what if he’s with someone else?...oh fuck, is he cheating on me?”
internally, you were FREAKING. OUT.
and sero could see it!.......but then he never approached you about it because he didn’t want to spoil the surprise
dumbass
ANYWHO
it was a saturday afternoon. PERFECT weather in the spring
you were wearing a pair of jeans and a thin t-shirt-blouse-type-beat with your favorite pair of shoes
as you were doing your thing, whatever that may be, you received a text from your wonderful and handsome boyfriend!
“good afternoon, my love! do you want to meet up at the park? we can check out that new italian place for lunch!”
you, of course, responded with a yes and that you’ll arrive there soon!
you left your guys’ shared apartment with all of your necessities, and a smile on your face; after all, you’re about to spend some long-awaited quality alone time with the love of your life!!
in the mean time...sero is freaking. the fuck. out.
but you don’t know that SHHHH
you arrive to the park and head to your guys’ favorite spot - a wooden bench under a large, oak tree. it’s at the far corner of the playground and points out to the small lake in the middle of the park
STOP IM LITERALLY TEARING UP RN
this is definitely where you guys said i love you, hands down
so you walk over there....and you find sero, a few feet away from your spot.........in a suit.
a white button down shirt, a slate gray waistcoat and suit jacket, a solid red tie???? dude holy fuck, he’s a snacc
he smiled so wide at you bro omg
his only thought???: god, i love her so much...i love her...fuck, look at her, i love her-
NO ONE LOOK AT ME EYE-
and you were...BEYOND confused...why is your boyfriend in a fancy get up? yall were just gonna get lunch????
without any words, he walked up to you and took your hand in his. he leaned down to kiss your forehead before walking towards the bench
when you round the bend, kirishima, bakugou, and kaminari are in the exact same outfit as sero
you know what song they sing?......spend my life with you by eric benet, but-BUT....barbershop quartet (please listen this is so good and my inspo)
sero’s singing lead, karminari’s singing tenor, bakugou is singing baritone, and kirishima’s singing bass
hanta’s eyes never leave yours. even though his smile can match the sun’s, it’s shaky with nerves. but his eyes...his eyes only hold love for you.
as you listen to the lyrics and the beautiful harmonies, your eyes tear up - did hanta do this all for you? did he mean all of these words that he was singing?
now full on tears were running down your lil cheeks (me too, it’s okay)
a few folk started gathering around, curious to hear this amazing group sing in the middle of the park. by the time they finished, a group of twenty or so was now scattered about
your little corner of the park exploded in cheers and applause...but you didn’t hear or see
you only saw hanta, coming forward until he was above you, his signature smile and a light blush adorning his features
and then....he reached into his right pant pocket, lowered to one knee, and opened a ring box
you covered your mouth with a hand, a drowning gasp falling past your lips
“y/n...i love you. more than anything and anyone in this world. there is nothing i want more than to spend the rest of my life with you. y/f/n y/l/n, mi amor, will you do be the absolute honor of becoming my wife?”
with a happy sob, you said yes, pulling hanta to you in a passionate, and utterly beautiful kiss
She has no idea what she’s possibly done to have someone as amazing as Sebastian in her life. In her mind, Aurora’s done nothing to deserve him. He’s sweet, patient and kind.
She may not have any clue what shes done to deserve such an angel but, dear sweet Andraste is she grateful. Aurora grins as she watches her husband help their daughter aim her first arrow.
Sebastian is endlessly patient, helping Saoirse when the arrow veers off of the string by gently pressing it back to where she needs to aim, carefully readjusting pudgy fingers so it stays on course.
Their son sits her lap, watching his sister with undivided attention. Sebastian had asked if he wanted to learn too but Brennan had been more content to sit under the shade of a nearby tree and make flower crowns with his mother— an activity fallen wayside for the moment.
Saoirse draws her arm back before releasing the string, the arrow sailing through the air before landing with a thud into the grass in front of the target. Her shoulders sag as she glances up to her father, “I missed…”
“It was your first arrow, you shouldn’t expect to get it right on your first go,” Sebastian bends down to scoop her up into his arms, peppering her cheeks with kisses. “When my grandda was helping me, I missed plenty of times.”
“You did?” Saoirse’s eyes widen in surprise. Aurora smiles softly at the sight, suddenly realizing how much the pair resemble each other. She truly is her father’s daughter, she thinks.
“Aye! Archery takes practice and practice takes time.” he assures, carrying her over so they can join Aurora and Brennan to sit in the shade. “Maybe tomorrow we can practice more.”
“Can we?!” Saoirse’s eyes brighten all over again. They may have only practiced for a little bit but Aurora can tell their daughter might have found her new passion. A passion they’ll have to work more on tomorrow when the sun isn’t quite as unbearable.
Brennan curls up against Aurora, resting his head on her lap, eyelids starting to droop. Her heart swells with pride and adoration all over again.
Since she left Kirkwall, she finally feels at home with a family of her own. Sebastian has always felt like home to her but the twins certainly amplify the feeling. Aurora adores every little detail about the ones she loves.
She loves the way her husband’s nose crinkles slightly when he laughs, how he presses into her touch when she combs her fingers through his hair, how gentle he is, and always has been, with her and the twins.
Aurora recalls that when she was expecting, her first thought would be that Sebastian would be a good father and he proves it day in and day out. He’s the first one awake when Brennan comes running into their room, sobbing because he’s afraid of the dark. The first one to pull him up into their bed and allow him to settle between the pair so he feels safe.
He’s teaching Saoirse archery already since she’d shown an interest in his bow a few months ago. Of course, he had found her a tinier bow that she could call her own until she was old enough to use a larger one in its place.
Aurora thinks about how much the kids adore him in return. Brennan always shows him the new tricks he’s learned with his magic. Sebastian never once makes their son feel as though his magic is a curse, rather something that must be celebrated.
It’s something they celebrate in private in order to protect the little one. Something they both try to change in Starkhaven so he never has to know the abuses of the Circle.
Saoirse, on the other hand, wants to be at his side nearly every waking hour of the day. Desperately and constantly begging to join in on meetings with other nobility or officials just to spend time with him.
Of course, Aurora can’t imagine that meetings are that fun for an eight year old. Maker, she’s nearing her mid thirties and she finds them dreadfully dull. Policies, treatises, declarations— all of which bore her to tears.
Saoirse positively adores it though, polite and attentive even as she struggles to properly see the large table without a book underneath her. The fact that Sebastian lets her sit in makes their daughter feel important and connected to all that’s happening.
All of these things build upon each other, their children feeling much more important to their parents than their parents ever felt to their own. That’s all Aurora could ask for, a family that trusts and loves one another. A family that supports and cares for the differences that are there. A family that she realizes she’s been without for so long and doesn’t think she’d be able to live without again.
I am happy to announce that I’m feeling much better today and with my renewed spirit, I’m currently at 3.7k words with the rewritten version of chapter six!
I will work all day to get this chapter completed, so please anticipate an update tonight!
Warnings: Nightmares, panic attacks, PTSD, general trauma (Ro makes it better though.)
Word Count: 1,553
Tags: @pippippippin, @a-cure-for-sentience, @stormcrawler75, @princeyssash, @quoth-the-sparrow, @theresneverenoughfandoms, @red-eyes88 (If you’d like to be added or removed, please let me know!)
A/N: It has been a Hot Minute since I lasted posted, damn. On the brightside, I haven’t posted anything because school is hard but I’m studying harder, and I’m also in the process of writing a novel. So I have reasons. This is set in the same AU as Wait For Me (I’m Coming) and is set seven or so months after that. I did promise more in this AU! I hope you enjoy.
~~~
It is dark in the bed chamber.
It shouldn't be dark, Logan realizes, and he tries to swallow the panic that rises in his chest when he realizes that he can't see anything. In the months since his return, Roman has left a candle burning in their room every night, never once complaining about having his rest disturbed by the light.
But the candle is out now, and there is nothing but inky darkness around him. Logan reaches out on the bed for Roman. He's sure he'll be able to fight this panic down in Roman's arms, but his hand meets cold sheets instead of a warm body.
Fear grips him, stronger than before.
"Roman?" He calls and hears his voice crack on the second syllable. There's no response and Logan strains his eyes in an attempt to discern something through the dark.
Logan feels his breath get stuck in his chest and ice fill his veins.
He tries to remember the rhythm of breath he used to guide Virgil through, but focus slips out of his hands like water. The terror of the unknown presses in around him- are they coming to take him? To hit him? To find new ways to apply pain and pull secrets from his bloodied lips? Did he ever even leave that cave?
The last thought made Logan whimper involuntarily, terror at going back to that hell seizing his muscles.
Through his turmoil, he heard the door creak.
He jerked his head up and saw a figure outlined in the doorway, illuminated by torchlight from the hallway. For one brief, shining moment, he thought it was Roman. But doubt creeped in as the figure continued to stand there. Roman would not linger like that, not when Logan was curled into a ball in the middle of their shared bed.
He scrambled away, his legs tangled in the blankets.
"No, no go away!"
The figure stepped forward, its presence looming larger. Logan flinched and tried to extricate himself from the blankets. The figure stepped closer to the bed and Logan wondered how he had thought this was Roman, this creature with its terrifying energy.
It leaned forward and a hand shot out to grip Logan's arm, nails digging into his skin. He struggled against it, adrenaline breaking through the fear.
"We've got you now, Clarke. You're not getting away from us this time."
The voice of the person who had taunted him as they whipped his back echoed in the room. Logan could feel phantom pain on his back, the skin tearing open, and his heart thudded to a stop in his chest as he realized that he would have to relieve the horror again.
Logan screamed.
~~~
Logan jerked upright in bed, a scream burning his throat as he scrambled out of bed and hit the floor. There was noise all around him, and it took him a moment to realize that he was the source of it. He clamped a hand over his mouth and sobbed. His face was wet with tears, and through his trembling a faint note of relief struck his mind. It was just a dream. He pulled his knees to his chest and shook, drawing in gasping breaths.
“Logan?”
A voice in front of him. Concern laced in it.
“Logan, can you hear me? You’re okay, dearest, I’m here, it was just a dream. You’re safe.”
Roman.
Logan opened his eyes and was met with the sight of his lover kneeled in front of him, hands at his sides, concern written in every line of his face. Candle-light flickered across his features and the knot in Logan’s chest loosened in the warm glow. His surroundings were coming back into focus and careful scan of the room confirmed that they were alone. It was just Roman and himself.
“Lo? Please, you’re scaring me. Can I touch you?”
Logan’s gaze darted back to Roman and he tried to fight back the fear clouding his mind. Roman has asked him a question. He needed to answer. The words were stuck in his throat. He registered that he was shaking and felt shame prickle at his skin that Roman was seeing him so completely undone.
Roman seemed to come to some sort of conclusion and he learned forward, taking Logan's hands in his own. He rubbed circles with his thumbs and held tight.
"I have you, love. Breathe with me, okay?"
He took an exaggerated breath in, blowing it out slowly. Logan tried to copy, but the task seemed monumentally difficult. He still felt exposed, as if someone could grab him and tear him away from Roman and back to that dark cave. Roman repeated the breath again and again, Logan failed. He was painfully aware of the space around him.
Roman squeezed his hands and momentarily held Logan's attention. There was rapidly growing concern in his eyes and Logan's heart ached that he was disappointing him.
"How can I help you, Logan? What do you need?"
What did he need?
He needed to feel safe. Like the world wasn't about to tumble down around him. He needed Roman to hold him.
Roman's arms were safety and love and warmth. Even before they had admitted mutual affection for each other, Logan had admired Roman's arms. They were tan and well muscled from hours spent training out in the sun. And then, in the months and eventual years after they had started courting, Roman's arms had taken on a new meaning for Logan. They were home.
He felt like he was shaking out of his skin and he scrambled forward into Roman's chest.
Roman wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. The warm bands of muscle held Logan together as he shook apart in Roman's arms, finally able to close his eyes and not feel the all encompassing terror of darkness. He could feel Roman's heartbeat from where he was pressed against him, and the steady rhythm helped him control his breath.
"I got you, love. It's okay, you're okay."
Roman smelled like parchment and sleep. Logan breathed deep as the last of his shakes faded away.
"Do you want to get back in bed?" Roman asked. His breath ghosted across Logan's ear and made him shiver. Logan nodded his affirmation and Roman scooped him up before depositing him on the bed. He kept his eyes open and watched Roman walk around the bed before he got in himself. Roman’s arms were back around him then, and Logan relaxed into the touch.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Roman asked, voice low and rumbling in his chest.
Logan licked his dry lips and fought the urge to break eye contact.
“I dreamt that the lights were out.” He begins, hesitant. He doesn’t usually talk about his dreams. “I was scared, and you were gone. And then there was this...figure...in the doorway, and I thought it was you but it wasn’t, it was them, and they told me that I was going to go back to that cave, that I’d never actually escape them...and then I woke up.” Logan didn’t realize that he was crying until a warm palm cupped his cheek and Roman’s thumb swiped away some of the tears. He leaned into the comfort, eyes fluttering shut.
“You’re safe, my love. I won’t let anything happen to you, and I’d never leave you.” Roman pressed a kiss to Logan’s forehead and his free hand traveled over Logan’s shoulder and down onto his back, fingers tracing the scars there. Logan shifted away from the touch and Roman frowned, sitting up slightly.
“Do they hurt, Logan?” His tone was worried and Logan shook his head.
“No, they do not pain me. I just don’t like them. They’re ugly.”
Pain flashed over Roman’s face before disappearing.
“Logan, dearheart, nothing about you is ugly. These scars are marks of bravery higher than any medal I could give you. And more importantly, they’re part of you. I love you, trauma and all, scars and all.” And before Logan was even halfway through processing those words and the subsequent emotions that came with them, Roman was sitting up and rolling him onto his stomach.
“Clearly,” -His voice came from above Logan, with a smile Logan could hear, if not see- “I haven’t done a good enough job of showing you how beautiful you are.” And then lips were pressing against the sin of Logan’s shoulder, at the very top of one of the longer scars. Logan shivered from head to toe and didn’t protest as Roman’s lips traced the disfigured flesh from the top of his shoulder, down to the small of his back.
Logan couldn’t say how much time had passed since Roman first kissed him, but his limbs had melted into the bed and tears were wetting the pillow as Roman touched his lips to Logan’s other shoulder in one last, reverent kiss.
No words were said as he rolled over and buried his head in Roman’s chest, Roman’s fingers finding their way to his hair. Logan’s heart ached with love, and sometimes he wondered if there was no limit to the love he felt for Roman. Somehow the thought didn’t frighten him.
He fell asleep easily, Roman’s arms still around him.
