#atwerk

[zyin]

It's 10°C but the wind is so cold omg. The shivering is real. I wonder what it'll feel like when it's -20°C + wind chill and I have to stand there. Oh man

[simpin-pimp]

11:10pm

I’ve been thinking about me and jody having a baby recently because I’m learning about OB in school rn and it seems so endearing to be taking care of a baby with someone else, that would be the ultimate collab. 

We just had our 19 monthsary and I feel so in love. I still feel the same way I did when we first started going out and we were up late texting every night and getting to know each other. It feels like the first time~~~ We’re really sexually compatible too. He always wants me to cum first and always says he loves me during, which I thought was so mushy and vanilla at first but, I love it now. Especially when he kisses my forehead and holds me. I like that we both have physical touch as our primary love language because it makes me feel loved and close to him. For example, when we’re hanging out with a group of friends or out eating he hold my hand or holds me close and kisses my forehead.

I feel so grateful for him. He is so patient with me. I can be passive aggressive without even considering if he’s even at fault or not but, he still is just as loving and understanding with me. That’s what I love about jody he is happy and doesn’t take anything personally which is something I have to work on. 

I love the way he looks into my eyes. I can see an image in my head that I try to take a mental screenshot of every time he makes this look. His eyes go soft and sparkly. His eyelashes are long, dark brown and curly. His freckles are dotted all over his face and his cheeks are red and flushed. His mouth is curled at the edges and this makes his cheeks chubby and round and so kissable. 

[simpin-pimp]

6:49am

About to be done with this shift. To pass the time I just been doing assignments I was able to finish a research paper, a review paper, a discussion board done oh my goodness. I feel productive but I feel sad because I feel like I’m self-sabotaging myself. 

I looked at Jody’s likes. I do this sometimes, not all the time but sometimes. I don’t know what comes over me sometimes. Maybe its just the need to know since I don’t think he thinks that I check. It just makes me a lil like “aw” sometimes when I see him like a beautiful girls picture and she has a nice body and doesn’t use much makeup. And they always have nice af eyebrows idk why tf that makes me insecure kinda funny actually lol. So, its that but also me feeling bad that I don’t have the self-esteem I always promote to feel good about myself and not compare myself to other pretty girls. I feel like a fraud sometimes that I pretend I’m a lot of things. I pretend I’m smart that I have a high self-esteem and no boy can put me down and that I have everything under control. Maybe its better for me to pretend this way so that I better myself I’ll work hard to fully believe it. 

I am hard-working, I am smart, I am beautiful and have nice brown glowing skin, I have good eyebrows from my mom and dad, I am persistent, I am empathetic, I am a moderate weight, I have an adequate cardio tolerance and work out more than most, I am the best possible version of myself at the moment and it’s only going to get better but I need to work hard and love myself. 

[simpin-pimp]

1:00am

I have been feeling more and more myself. But, it was hard. October 21 my parents left for a trip to Chicago to celebrate my dad passing his nursing exam. It was an overnight trip so I decided it was a perfect opportunity to sleepover at Jodys house. 

I have a strong intrinsic feeling feel independent and in charge of my life. I know that this characteristic is very self-sabotaging to me. And I feel responsible for the following event due to my immaturity and insecurity. 

My sister and I both left the house. I was scared and thought that for some reason she would tell my parents I was leaving so I left swiftly and did not tell her. I went to dinner with Jody in Sawtelle. On the way back I got a call from my sister that jack was dead, she found him in the backyard and he was attacked by coyotes. I was in denial I thought she was joking to get me home, sadly she wasn’t. 

I feel like I let Jack down. He loved when I came back home, even if he only saw me for a second before going back into the house. He loved going on walks and never got tired even though he was 12 and even if I walked him for hours. He never bit me, he liked to cuddle, he would whine in the backyard at precisely 4 or 5 during the summer to tell me its time to walk, he had stinky breath, he had two lil curly cowlicks on his booty, he had very strong leg muscles, his fur was very soft, he hated showers but loved smooshing his head into the towel to dry his head, he loved eating blankets, when he slept he either made a dog-nut shape or and eggplant shape. 

I want him to to know that I’m so sorry, that he gets lots of walks in heaven with Miming, that I love seeing him in my dreams, and that I’ll see him again one day. 

I imagined that when Jack passed away that I would be there for him so he wouldn’t be scared. I love u buddy <3 

[chobby88]

Day 6-#OuttheWindow Cold AF this morning!❄️🥶❄️ #AtWERK #ComeThruSunrise #HazyDays #ComeThruMamaNature #SheSlaysMe #GayChristian #GetsMefromAtoB #YAS #MarchPhotoChallenge2019 (at Roswell, New Mexico) https://www.instagram.com/p/Busy0A6h9Hs/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vyayvr7fl7q0

[througheco]

Hey @kitch110, working hard or hardly working.... #atwerk #coachlife #emilyinphilly #friendsinphilly

[so-lo-mon]

👄Allow me reintroduce myself 👄 #fittingroomchronicles #AtWerk #HatsAreHats #pink #melanin #blackout #itWasASlowDay (at San Antonio, Texas)

[mommylovestech]

My favorite time (quietest) in the studio 😜 #atwerk @foxla #bts