【Summary】: To prove to your college friends that the haunting rumours about the Aurora manor were nothing more than fictional tales, you venture into the abandoned estate... But what you stumble upon was a way bigger secret than indented, and it changes your life forever.
[Warnings]: Blood. Gore. Swearing. Pet names. Blood drinking. Shitty friends. Mention of abuse. Unprotected sex. (Warnings will update the more the story updates)
Notes: Welcome to the Aurora Manor. Where creatures run the show and humans either fear them or beg to be them.
➣ synopsis: song mingi. everyone knows his name — south korea’s golden boy rapper and producer is always in the headlines; award after award, sold out shows, new #1 albums. recently, it’s been: drinking, fights, drugs, girls. in order to help his image, his agency comes up with a last attempt to help him and it involves becoming your boyfriend, south korea’s sweetheart and the complete opposite of song freaking mingi.
➣ GENERAL WARNINGS FOR SERIES: Mingi is major big asshole for a while but he gets better I promise, negotiations of relationship related issues without recipients consent, vulgar language, violence, blood, arguments, heated situations (and not in a hot way), toxic environments, misogyny, toxic masculinity, Mingi is a HOT MESS, yes that’s a warning, mentions of past relationships and also Mingi having sexual relations with other people, bisexual!mingi, kind of explicit scenes with Mingi having sex with someone other than the reader, excessive drinking and recreational drug use, big dick Mingi bc yes he has a big dick, eventual rough sex, clit/pussy slapping, sex in public, biting, choking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), illusions to voyuerism, mg is very angry for a lot of this but I promise things get better, this looks like a dark fic but I promise there are tender moments, you just have to get through all of that ^^
➣ part two
“...in other news, heartthrob rapper Song Mingi has made the news yet again for another fight he has started at Club Octagon in Gangnam, leading him to be kicked out. He exited the club in front of security with three girls hanging off of his arms. When will enough be enough?”
“I completely agree Sunghoon, his music is incredible and his shows are jaw dropping, but when will this toxic behavior be put to an end?”
+2,567 -400
I know everyone’s saying he needs help but he looks so good ㅠㅠ mingi’s in his idgaf era we love to see it
+1,347 -345
me and my friends saw him at KISS in itaewon and we could all tell he was blacked out, snorting coke off some girls body as they practically fucked in the corner of the club. he needs serious help
+588 -400
anyone else thinks it doesn’t matter and he’s an adult and can live his life???
+271 -123
he’s so hot ㅎㅎㅎㅎ
+129 -76
I hope he’s okay ㅠㅠㅠ is something going on???? :(
“Oppa…ngh, fuck!”
Mingi leans forward, biting gently at the shoulder blade of…whoever he currently has his dick in right now.
The obscene slap of his hips against her ass can barely be heard over the sound of his heart pumping in his ears. He reaches down to knot his fingers in her black hair, pushing her head down into the mattress. Mingi fucks into her hard, causing her to squeal and she’s screaming, yelling that she’s going to cum.
Mingi’s close, he’s so, so close. His dick almost hurts with how badly he needs to cum, but he’s nothing if not a gentleman…ladies first.
“Oppa!” She screams as she clenches around him, legs trembling underneath her.
He’s gonna cum, he’s gonna—
Not cum. If the ringing of his phone on the table is any consolation. Scrambling to look at the caller ID on the cellphone, Mingi is going to make it his personal mission to kill whoever is interrupting this moment right now.
“Fuck!” cries Mingi when he sees who it is.
“Oppa?” The girl asks weakly.
He grimaces as he pulls out of her, cock screaming at him to put it back, finish himself off. Reaching over to the table, he grabs his phone just in time to put it to his ear before the call ends.
“Hyung, I’m busy—”
“Get your ass down to the office right now. I don’t give a fuck what you’re doing or more so who you’re doing.”
The call cuts off.
Shit, Mingi thinks, shit.
Mingi’s left leg bounces as his nerves feel completely singed at the ends, nervous energy thrumming through his veins. The sound of a remote smacking against the table ricochets around the conference room, silence enveloping him as the news is shut off. Mingi has his head tilted back against his chair, sunglasses pushed up the bridge of his nose under the bright lights and fingers fidgeting with his rings.
“They’re talking about arresting you this time with no leeway.”
“They wouldn’t hyung, I’m Korea’s golden boy,” Mingi argues, sounding bored with this conversation already and it’s barely begun.
“They are literally blowing me up with threats of your arrest warrant. I’m about to let them have you spend a few nights in jail.” Hongjoong sighs, reaching up to pull at the strands of his freshly dyed red hair, at his wit’s end.
Mingi frowns slightly and then laughs condescendingly. “You would never do that to me.”
Hongjoong sighs, “you’re right, I love you too much, but I need you to fix your shit or I’m going to fix it for you and maybe you won’t have any choice in the matter in what happens to you.”
Mingi bites his lip, the skin chapped from all the kissing and licking and sucking he had done an hour prior.
He's annoyed, he has a right to be annoyed. Every right.
A sigh resounds from the other end of the table as Choi Jongho rubs at his temples. His face is a bright red, veins popping underneath his jawline.
“You are putting me in a terrible position, hyung.”
Hongjoong stays silent as he waits for Jongho to say more, eyes darting from Mingi back to the PR manager.
Jongho’s sharp eyes are boring into Mingi’s and it sends a shiver down his spine. He doesn’t enjoy causing stress to his team — he knows he acts as if it’s his favorite extracurricular activity, but he loves his team. They have been with him since the very beginning and have been his shoulder to cry on during hard times and his people to hug when celebrating.
Recently, he has had neither a shoulder to cry on or someone to hug as he has been too busy causing premature grey hairs. He is completely aware that his behavior has gotten out of hand, but truly, at this moment in time — he sincerely does not give a single fuck. It could also be that he is still high, the drug bouncing persistently through his system.
There’s a rock sitting deep inside Mingi’s chest. It somehow entered its way between his ribcage and crawled up like a spider, giving him a sense of guilt. It makes him need a drink, badly.
Getting up from the table, Mingi bows gently towards Jongho and eyes Hongjoong, silently asking him to follow him out of the room. Hongjoong seems to get the message, telling Jongho that he’ll be right back.
In the quiet halls of KQ, Mingi bites his bottom lip, crossing his arms and stares down at Hongjoong.
“You fucking know something,” spits Mingi venomously.
Hongjoong’s eyes widen, taken aback by his words. “I know a lot of things. You’ll have to be more specific.”
“You know what Jongho is planning.”
“I know what Jongho is thinking of planning, yes.”
“Well,” Mingi shakes his head in disbelief. “What is it?”
Hongjoong is silent, watching Mingi with curious, careful eyes. Concern is written all over his face, making Mingi feel like he needs to shrink under this gaze.
“You’re not gonna like it. Go home, Mingi-yah, and you better be sober the next time I see you.”
Hongjoong lightly pats Mingi’s shoulder before disappearing into the conference room again, Hongjoong’s voice filtering through the door along with Jongho’s.
Mingi is fucking furious. They don’t want to tell him? Fine, that’s just fine.
His phone feels heavy in his pocket as he reaches for it, dialing the most recent number— save for Hongjoong — on his call list.
A tinny voice reaches his ears, making him wince.
“Oppa, what happened?”
Mingi sniffs as he steps outside, the cold immediately making his nose drip.
“Meet me at Club Pacific at eleven. Don’t wear any underwear and bring those pills you were talking about earlier.”
With that, Mingi hangs up and finds his Porsche parked in his personal parking spot, beckoning him. Hongjoong and Jongho don’t want to let Mingi in on what kind of shit they’re thinking of throwing him into the middle of? Fine, Mingi is going to go live his life while they do that then.
His car starts with a purr and he runs his tongue along his top teeth, takes a deep breath, and backs out of his spot, peeling out of the parking lot.
Your head pounds as Yeosang gently dabs some concealer underneath your eyes. You’ve had quite the intense week — you’re ending your recent world tour with the girls back in Seoul and starting promotions for your new movies — yes, movies as in multiple.
You and your group filmed a documentary as you toured, showing what your life is like while traveling and being on the road, doing mundane things; you also finished a dark fantasy movie called “Angel of Mine,” directed by the Bong Joon-ho, and are starting promos for that currently.
“Y/N?” Yeosang inquires quietly.
You hum in answer, trying to will your headache away.
“Do you need some water?”
“I need a gun so I can shoot myself and put me out of my misery,” you whisper with grit.
“Headache?” Yeosang chuckles, pulling away from your face and taking a better look at you.
“The biggest,” you say.
You are so lucky to have someone like Yeosang on your team. He is so understanding, kind, and not to mention, an incredible friend.
He walks away momentarily, coming back with an unmarked plastic water bottle and two white oblong pills in his hand.
You hold out your hand to accept them; the pills resting in the palm of your hand feel slightly heavy and you are hoping it’s just a figment of your imagination.
Closing your eyes, you toss the medicine into your mouth as Yeosang hands you the open water bottle. The water glides down your throat smoothly, the sharpness of the cold in your throat jerking you awake more and you’re hoping those pills kick in fast.
You look at yourself in the mirror in front of you, taking in your appearance.
They dressed you in a pair of cream pleated pants and white form fitting lacy blouse with flowy, sheer sleeves — something that’s very different from your recent concert outfits.
The concept for the tour is Forgotten Fairytale, modeled after your most recent comeback and album drop “Solstice.”
They have dressed you in lots of corsets, short flowy skirts and chunky heeled boots for your stages and you’re so grateful that it will not follow you into your movie promotion. It was hard for you to be comfortable in those outfits, let alone dance and sing. Of course, you did your best and tried to ignore it, but it was definitely something you brought up at your last company meeting.
The girls had all agreed with you, their leader, that their tour costumes needed to be more stretchy, less itchy, and less sheer in places that shouldn’t be sheer.
Luckily, your record company AURA ENT. had taken this feedback in stride and created all new costumes for your last two shows in Seoul.
“Y/N? They’re ready for you.” Your PR manager, Choi San, smiles at you, tablet in hand.
Yeosang waves you off, telling you he did such a good job (like always) and you looked beautiful.
Following San, you watch as people with headsets rush by you, talking rapidly into them. You are currently at the KBS station, lots of people doing lots of different things to make this interview happen.
San brings you over to the set, a simple chair set up in front of a multitude of studio lights, and you pray Yeosang used makeup that will not melt off your skin under the intense heat.
San turns to face you, peeking down at his tablet, mumbling to himself absent-mindedly and tapping the screen a few times. There’s a cute little crease in between his brows as he focuses and you can’t help but snicker slightly.
He flicks his eyes up to look at you, the workings of a smile tugging at his lips. San is the epitome of handsome; sometimes he shows up to work or at your apartment and your breath is taken away at how beautiful this man is. Briefly, you think about the fact that if San were not like a brother to you, you would for sure be shooting your shot.
“Okay,” San pulls you from your thoughts. “Should be routine. They’re going to ask you about the tour, then move on to the movie with a few filler questions in between. Ready?”
You nod, reaching up to scratch an itch under your jaw gently to not disturb any makeup that might linger there.
You wait until you’re given the okay to take your seat in front of the camera, but not before you shake hands and bow towards your interviewer.
“Kwon Mina with KBS Entertainment sector. It is lovely to meet you!” A middle-aged woman greets you, shoulder length black hair and gentle, kind features that have more than likely seen many moments of laughter.
“L/N Y/N, the pleasure is all mine.” You respond, taking your seat with a smile.
San stands behind the camera, nervously checking his watch and you tear your eyes away from the many people behind the camera, monitoring this interview.
“And rolling…recording in three, two…” and the count of one is silent as the camera’s red recording light turns on.
Your interviewer clears her throat and poises a smile. “This is Kwon Mina for KBS Entertainment, coming to you with an exclusive interview with South Korea’s sweetheart—” your smile is tight at the mention. “She is an actress and the leader of idol group ROYALS, today we have L/N Y/N in the studio with us today. Thank you very much for joining us, Y/N.”
“Thank you very much for having me,” you respond, smile permanently placed on your face.
“Now,” Mina begins, ballpoint pen in her hand for some interest. “You are coming off your sold out world tour with one final show this weekend at Jamsil Stadium, congratulations!”
You bow your head, thanking her.
“And now you are here in the studio today to promote your brand new film, written and directed by Bong Joon-ho. What has the last year been like for you?” She asks, completely in awe.
You lick your lips, silently cursing yourself and hoping the lip products Yeosang applied are long lasting.
“You know,” you begin, “it has been tiring.”
You and Mina both let out a laugh, some nervous energy dissipating at the sound.
“But,” you continue. “I am so grateful for every opportunity I have had for the last year. I have to extend my deepest gratitude to our Rebels. They are at the heart of everything we as a group do, truly, and I keep having to pinch myself about working with a legend like Bong Joon-ho. He is a mastermind behind the camera and it’s genuinely been an honor.”
The interview continues with questions about the plot of the movie, what songs have been your favorite on the tour to perform and what roles you would like to delve into next.
It all blurs together at the end and pretty soon, the interview is over and you’re saying your goodbyes to Kwon Mina, thanking her for her great questions and hospitality.
As you step away from the set, San follows diligently. Yeosang has approached you with oil blotting sheets and a few products to touch up your makeup for your exit from KBS and your brows furrow.
“Wooyoung isn’t here?” You ask, noting his absence.
San bites his lip, that nervous behavior he was exhibiting earlier, making its way back up to the surface.
“San, what’s going on?”
It’s not unusual for Wooyoung to miss out on some things to take care of things that way out of your scope of practice (AKA why Wooyoung is your manager and not the other way around), especially if San can accompany you somewhere, but his absence definitely hits harder today for some unbeknownst reason.
“Wooyoung is doing manager things, so don’t worry, but you have to be at the agency later for a meeting.”
You throw your head back with a groan; you were looking forward to putting on some ratty old sweats and rotting on your couch with some ramen and a variety show and now, your dreams are crushed.
You exit the KBS building about twenty minutes later, bright flashes blinding you from the paparazzi and fans shoving phones in your face as you walk by, your body guards caging you in all the way to the van you’re supposed to get into.
As the van door shuts, the noise gets completely drowned out, causing you to let out a breath of relief. As much as you love your fans, sometimes having phones thrust in your face 24/7 is exhausting. You always have to be on your A game.
It leaves you frayed at the edges, constantly having to walk around with somewhat of a persona in order to please the public. You don’t want to smile all the time as you walk through a crowded airport, big cameras being turned towards you, bright flashes blinding you, fans yelling your name, etc.
You are incredibly grateful for everything you have, but sometimes you want to walk around a street without worrying about being photographed or recognized.
That is a huge reason you end up walking around at night, a mask covering your face to obscure your features, trying to enjoy alone time. Your members join you sometimes, but not all at once, otherwise it seems too suspicious. So instead of all of you going together, sometimes it’s only two of you, but most only three at a time.
San is typing agressively on his phone, next to you, brows furrowed. He’s been doing that a lot today. You know how busy of a person San is, dealing with tabloids, dispatch, content creation regarding you and the girls, and much more. You can’t even imagine how stressed he must be sometimes, but that’s why he is paid to do what he does.
Your phone buzzes against your thigh and you take it out of your pants pocket, looking down onto the screen.
royalty forever
zyozyo: how did the interview go leader-nim
rinrin: kk unnie why so formal
heejinie: jihyo-unnie took y/n-unnie’s purple cardigan and then spilled an americano on it
zyozyo: I DID NOT
heejinie: I was literally there, who are you trying to fool
rinrin: yikes that’s y/n-unnie’s favorite cardigan
zyozyo: I ALREADY GOT HER A NEW ONE. you guys are so annoying, no loyalty in this group whatsoever
You shake your head, snorting gently. Honestly, you don’t remember the last time you wore that cardigan.
You type a response, hoping to calm Jihyo and tell her it’s not a big deal.
leader-nim: it’s all good zyo, don’t even worry. interview was good! i am just tired and need to nap until our concert kkkk
heejinie: coming home unnie? we can cuddle
leader-nim: sadly i am being summoned to the office, wooyoung needs to go over something with me, i will be home after!! someone order chicken?
rinrin: on it!! good luck our fearless leader
Harin sends a bunch of cute emoticons after her message and you smile, pocketing your phone when you look up and realize you’re outside of the company building.
The van rolls to a stop in the underground parking garage and you jump out, San hot on your heels.
You thank your driver who bows towards you, you reciprocate it and head towards the elevator. It’s warm and stuffy once you step in, a stale smell hitting your nostrils and you grimace.
When was the last time they checked and made sure the elevator air con worked? San reaches forward and hits the number five, straightening his back as he steps away from the doors. The soft sound of your song “THIS IS FOR” bounces from the speaker that’s above your head. It’s a newly released song on your most recent album that you’ve been performing nonstop on the tour, but hearing it like this, luckily, does not make you sick of it.
You are always proud of the music you put out with ROYALS; you are a main lyric writer and producer on much of your music, which makes you love your songs even more when you finally listen to the finished product.
I did that, you usually think after completing a project.
Your mindset shifts back to the moving elevator you are in and look towards San and his black fitted polo.
“Do you know what this meeting is about?” You ask, eyeing him.
San clears his throat and shifts, “no.”
His neck at the base of his shirt is turning red.
You scoff. “You’re not a very good liar, San-ah.”
San says nothing until the elevator comes to a stop, dinging once you’ve arrived at your floor.
He looks at you, sharp eyes softening somewhat. “You’re not gonna like this.”
Your heart drops to your feet at the ominous words, and San steps out of the elevator once the doors open. You stand there for a moment, shocked at what you just heard, before following him down the hallway.
Wooyoung is sitting in the conference room you are usually in to go over comebacks and future projects, black hair looking almost blue against the harsh lights of the room. Papers are scattered across the shiny black top of the table, laptop humming loudly and for a moment, you’re worried it might blow up as Wooyoung furiously types on it.
There are six other people in the room, all of them engrossed in something on their own laptops, only looking up briefly at your entrance. You’re kind of scared. This doesn’t look good and regarding San’s words earlier, you have no idea what to expect.
Wooyoung looks up at you and stands. His clothes are wrinkled in a way that makes you think he’s been sitting here in this very room for a long time today.
“Y/N, this is Kim Ha-seong with JTBC, Lee Junghoo with Dispatch, Cho Ilhoon with SBS, and Jeon Byungho with MBC.” Wooyoung introduces most of the people in the room, except for two.
You pull your sleeves down over your hands, a comfort thing as you try to piece together why these people from major Korean news outlets would be in the same room together, regarding you.
Your eyes land on the two who have not been introduced and they both stand, bowing towards you.
You bow back stiffly, shell-shocked.
“Y/N, my name is Kim Hongjoong, and this is Choi Jongho. We are with KQ Entertainment.”
You nod, expecting more, but that’s all you get from the shorter one of the two. Jongho stares at you intimidatingly, and it makes you want to crawl into your shell if you had one.
KQ Entertainment? Maybe it’s a collab with another artist? But if so, why are the other girls not here and why is everyone so tense?
“Sit, Y/N,” Wooyoung instructs, taking his own seat.
You reach forward and pull the chair in front of you out, gripping into the leather a little harder than necessary. San takes a seat next to you, pulling his tablet out and bringing something up on it.
You can feel everyone’s eyes on you and you hate it. This is not like having a show or having an interview or doing a variety show, these people mean business.
“Why did San say I wasn’t going to like this meeting?” You ask sharply, sick of the pregnant pause in the air.
Wooyoung sends a look towards San and you feel San slightly shrink next to you.
No one answers your question and honestly, you’re starting to get annoyed now, frustration simmering low in your veins.
“Hello? What’s the point of this meeting?”
The so-called Kim Hongjoong leans forward, hands clasped on the tabletop.
Silver rings adorn his fingers that he fidgits with and your eyes widen slightly when you think about how expensive those pieces look.
“Y/N, we at KQ have made a proposition to your company, specifically with you.” Choi Jongho speaks up, his tone of voice strictly professional and no hint of emotion in it.
You wonder if that’s just a persona he’s using when he works or that’s who he is as a person.
Your lips part, trying to form around words that aren’t ready to come out of your mouth yet.
You look at Wooyoung, trying to get him to say something — for fuck’s sake, he’s your manager, why isn’t he saying anything?
Wooyoung catches your glance and instantly recognizes your plea for help in understanding. You two have worked together since the start of your careers and are basically family, he can read you like back of his hand.
“Kim Hongjoong is Song Mingi’s manager,” Wooyoung clarifies.
Slight chatter begins amongst the newspeople, starting up at the mention of this name.
You look at San, who doesn’t meet your eyes, his gaze focused on his tablet, focused on what looks to be a contract of some sort.
Your brain is desperately trying to bring up an image of this Song Mingi somewhere, your body overheating at how weird this entire situation feels.
Song Mingi…Song Mingi…
Suddenly, an image of a taller man with dyed blonde hair comes to mind, thick chains around his neck as he wears a tight form fitting top, girls yelling his name when he’s on stage.
Song Mingi…
You’ve gotta be fucking kidding.
“Song Mingi. You mean that problematic rapper?”
The room stuns into silence at your sudden comment. Hongjoong and Jongho’s faces remain stoic considering what just came out of your mouth.
“Yes,” Hongjoong simply answers. “Song Mingi, the problematic rapper.”
You bite the inside of your cheek, a bad nervous habit you developed in your trainee days.
“What would I have to do with Song Mingi?”
Wooyoung speaks up again, “we have a contract formed between the two of you in order to publish a dating story.”
Your jaw drops visibly. “No.”
“Y/N—” Wooyoung begins.
“No, absolutely not. We don’t even know each other and he clearly has issues!” You throw at your manager.
Jongho reaches his hand out to you in order to bring your attention to him. Your eyes shift, but your lips are pulled tight together in displeasure.
“As Song Mingi’s PR manager, we are trying to do everything we can in order to clear his image up and get him some help because you’re right,” Jongho says, voice softening. “He has issues and we care about him and his career, so we are trying to fix that.”
It’s the first time you’ve heard Jongho’s voice change into a different sound other than monotone.
You’re quiet for a moment, your blood is boiling over, practically cooking you alive. Who the hell does Wooyoung think he is, trying to rope you into this messy situation? And San — well, it’s clear that San knew. That would explain his nervousness all morning.
You cross your arms over your chest, feeling your heart thump deeply against your ribcage.
“Why me?” You ask quietly.
“Your image is one of clarity; you donate money to charities, you’re open about mental health, you care about human rights, you’re a phenomenal idol and actress, I mean, you’re South Korea’s sweetheart. This country loves you and you’re loved worldwide, too. Your image could help clean his up a lot and get him on the right track,” Jongho explains.
You’re dumbfounded. Genuinely, how do they think a dating contract is going to fix his fucked up reputation? He is the definition of a party playboy.
He’s on the cover of tabloids every other night, stumbling drunkenly and high as a kite out of clubs at four AM, girls hanging off his body and sometimes — guys too.
He’s been arrested twice for starting fights out in the streets of Seoul and is the definition of a troublemaker. Sure, your image might help him, but what does that mean for his image against yours?
Will people peg you as someone who also parties recklessly, does drugs, and has sex in dingy club bathrooms? Will this shatter your own so-called reputation of “Korea’s sweetheart”?
“What’s in it for me?” You’re aware of how incredibly selfish that sounds, but genuinely, what is the positive side for you personally?
“Think of it like charity work,” Hongjoong responds.
You burst out laughing. The reporters look at you as if you have grown another head. This is ridiculous, seriously.
“Yeah, no,” you say after you settle down.
“It’s not really up for debate, Y/N.”
Wooyoung’s statement startles you.
“You can’t possibly think you can force me into fake dating Song Mingi, messed up playboy rapper?”
Everyone is silent, yet again.
“I want you to look at the contract that San has drawn up for you tonight and then tomorrow we will have another meeting to go over any concerns.” Wooyoung says, eyes glancing between you, San, the KQ people, and the reporters.
“All of it is concerning! Wooyoung, seriously, I’m not doing this!”
Someone taps at the glass door and you turn around, mind moving one hundred miles a second. San’s assistant, Yejin, steps into the room and hands San a stack of papers. She disappears quickly and soon, you understand why.
The first page is labeled RELATIONSHIP CONTRACT.
Your eyes widen, and your heartbeat quickens steadfastly. This is not…no — you’re not…no.
This is a nightmare.
“Alright well, gentlemen, if I may consult my artist, that would be much appreaciated. Meeting for tomorrow is on at eleven AM as discussed, thank you.” Wooyoung practically sends everyone out of the room, while you’re one hundred percent sure that you taste blood from how hard you’re biting your cheek.
Jongho and Hongjoong bow towards you and you get up, bowing gently towards them. Just because you’re upset and shocked about the events that have just occured, does not allow you to justify being rude.
Pretty soon, it’s just you, Wooyoung, and San. You let out a long, deep exhale and slump forward, hitting your forehead against the table.
“Y/N, I understand you’re upset—”
“Wouldn’t you be?” You lash out, sitting up fast.
Something unrecongnizable crosses Wooyoung’s eyes as he looks at you. He runs a hand through his hair, messing up the product that you’re sure he put in this morning.
“This is out of my control!” Wooyoung snaps back at you. “I tried to reason with the company, but there is only so much I can do. I fought for your case, Y/N, I did! I am always on your side!”
Your bottom lip wobbles. You don’t like this. You don’t like how this situation is making you feel and be mean to your staff, your family.
“There is nothing I can do,” Wooyoung tells you softly.
San has said nothing as he sits next to you, just pushes the contract in front of you.
You groan, picking it up. It’s heavy. Fuck.
“Read it, fill everything out except for the last page. We will leave that for tomorrow.” San says, finally breaking his silence.
“What is tomorrow?”
“A meeting between you, us, and Song Mingi, and his team.”
You bite your lip to avoid saying something rude. You didn’t want to do this, this was genuinely not even close to being on your list of things you’re wanting to do.
“Wooyoung-ah…” You whine.
He leans over to hold your hand. “I’m sorry I had to be your manager today and not your friend.”
The apology is sincere and calms you in how you feel towards him right now. You know that if it really had been up to Wooyoung, this would not be happening; Wooyoung has been in your corner since day one.
Back in trainee days, once upon a time, Wooyoung had trained alongside you and the girls. Unfortunately, his dreams of debuting did not come true, and he was left behind.
However, he was offered a training position as a staff member and turned out: he kicked ass at taking charge and putting fires out. When you had debuted with the rest of your group, they had hired Wooyoung on as an assistant manager.
He worked his way up to being your manager in a short period of time, the company taking a big leap of faith with him. So far, Wooyoung has been nothing but the best manager a group could ask for.
If he says he couldn’t do anything about it, then he really couldn’t do anything about it.
You sigh deeply, looking at the contract in front of you with dread.
“Go home Y/N, we will have more details for you tomorrow. Do we need to send a car for you, or will you show up willingly tomorrow?” Wooyoung questions, pinpointing you with the ask.
“Define willingly,” you mumble, eyes not meeting his.
He gives you a look and you shrug, grabbing the contract and standing up.
San has barely looked at you this whole time and it’s visibly clear that he feels guilty about this entire situation, considering he’s your public relations manager.
You need to leave, go outside and get some fresh air before going home. This whole meeting has made you feel as if you were suffocating.
“See you tomorrow, boys.”
And with that, you leave the conference room, taking the elevator to the lobby so that you can pick up your purse and a few other things.
You feel a little like a zombie retreiving your things from your studio, locking it behind you, and getting back into the elevator.
You take the elevator back to the parking garage where life was better thirty minutes ago, when this fucking meeting had not occured. Getting into your car, the contract thumps against your passenger seat, reminding you of its very large, looming presence.
The drive home is luckily quick, but you don’t remember most of it — just going through the motions.
The keypad on the front door dings cutely as it unlocks and you step into the apartment. You peel your shoes off, almost falling over as the weight of the contract is heavy in your arms and the heavenly scent of garlic fried chicken wafts through the hall.
It has been an incredibly long day.
Everyone is sitting around the kitchen table, laying out the containers of chicken in the middle.
Harin, your youngest member at only twenty, looks over to see you, pink hair swishing around her face and smiles. Her eyes disappear sweetly as she smiles, but her face drops when she notices your expression.
“Unnie?” Harin questions softly, a sparkle on her eyelid catching the light.
Jihyo and Heejin turn to you, smiles as well until they see you.
“Ah, Y/N — what’s wrong?” Jihyo immediately asks, coming towards you. “What was the meeting at the company about?”
You shakily hand her the contract, watching her face as she takes it and looks down at it.
Her wide eyes scan the first page and you swear she almost drops it.
“Relationship contract?”
Harin and Heejin look at each other confusedly and then look at you and Jihyo.
“Song Mingi?”
“What?!” Heejin and Harin both yell.
“What kind of chicken did you get?” You pose and move to sit down.
The kitchen is eerily quiet.
The clock reads eleven-thirty PM. Your belly is full of delicious fried chicken and sides, pajamas are cozy against your skin, and whoever you’re tucked against is so, so warm.
That warmth is dangerously trying to pull you into the tempting tendrils of sleep, wanting to wake up tomorrow and have this all be some weird, sick dream.
You and the girls are going over the entire contract together; the three of them were furious earlier at the idea that your company pushed you into this without even asking what your thoughts were.
You swear Jihyo was about to go down there and make a scene with your CEO; you know that wouldn’t have done much though considering Wooyoung had mentioned he had done his best.
“The contract is written for the mutual benefit of both parties,” Heejin reads. “Mutual benefit? How does this benefit you exactly? You’re going to get stuck with some hot-headed rapper who can’t keep his dick out of something or snort something for thirty seconds! Who cares how attractive he is?”
You, Jihyo, and Harin stare at Heejin.
Heejin’s inky black hair swishes in her ponytail as she looks up at you. “What?”
“You think he’s attractive?” Harin snickers.
“I have eyes,” Heejin retorts, sticking her tongue out at the maknae.
Jihyo leans over body, snatching the contract from Heejin’s hands, ignoring the yelp and complaints Heejin lets out.
You settle back against Jihyo’s side, your eyes able to look at the contract too.
“Exclusivity?” Jihyo questions.
You read along with her:
□ Open Relationship: the couple agrees to be in an open relationship and either party is not obligated to be faithful sexually or emotionally.
□ Exclusive Relationship: the couple agrees to be exclusive and no other parties are involved. The couple is faithful sexually and/or emotionally.
If choosing Open Relationship — the sexually active partner is:
□ not required to wear protection when engaging in sexual acts with other(s)
□ required to wear protection when engaging in sexual acts with other(s)
□ other
Your jaw is open, not even believing what you’re reading.
“What the fuck?” You cry out, sitting up and grabbing the contract.
The girls are quiet around you, tensions high. You’re sure they don’t really know what to say right now.
It feels like your company is selling your rights to someone else — someone you don’t even know, to clarify. Your heart is pounding against your chest and you feel sick to your stomach.
You stand, letting out a scream before you chuck the contract across the room.
“He gets to go out there and fuck other people while I am supposedly at home like a good little girlfriend, waiting for his return when he is messing up my career, too?” You laugh hysterically, a familiar burning pressure growing behind your eyes.
The girls are on the couch, eyeing you as if you’re a deranged animal.
Maybe you are, because the emotions and anger that you are feeling right now are probably not healthy, but also how else would you feel when someone is forcing you into a situation you don’t want to be in?
You’re feeling very boxed in, very caged, very trapped.
If you wanted a relationship, you would’ve gone out and found one. You’re an idol for Godssake, finding someone really wouldn’t be that hard if you tried. However, you’re happy where you are right now with no boyfriend. You’re so incredibly busy in your career right now and trying to think about having time for someone else, let alone yourself, sounds exhausting.
The chilling realization that this wouldn’t only affect you, but also your members, makes a deep pit form in your stomach.
They didn’t agree to this almost as much as you didn’t agree to this. Nobody asked them either, and you’re all riding this career high together right now.
“I’m so sorry you guys,” you pout, lip wobbling.
Jihyo blinks and frowns. Heejin and Harin stand up to hug you together.
You snuggle deep into their embrace, smelling the cotton candy that Harin likes to smell like, and the flowery pink musk Heejin loves.
Jihyo joins the group hug and looks at you fiercely. “This is not your fault, Y/N. We are going to get through this like we get through everything…together. We love you.”
How lucky you are to have them in your life, how lucky you are to have been put into the same group as them by some strange twist of fate. Your girls always have your back.
You were feeling really confident this morning, like, so confident. Right now, standing in front of the conference room you were in yesterday, you aren’t feeling super confident anymore.
It’s been warm in Seoul recently, so you’re wearing a flowy, cotton romper with some sneakers, just trying to keep cool.
Entering the room, you notice that Wooyoung, San, Yejin (San’s assistant), and all the reporters from yesterday’s meeting are all sitting at the long table. That’s a lot of people. You see three empty seats across from where your seat is and you immediately know who is supposed to sit there.
You clear your throat and take your seat in between San and Wooyoung, placing the thoroughly read contract in front of you.
Heejin and Jihyo made tons of notes in the margins of the contract (although you’re not so sure they should’ve done that), all in cute purple hangul.
You catch Wooyoung eyeing the notes that the girls made, eyes narrowing before a small smirk makes its way onto his face. You look at him in question and he points at the top of the first page where Heejin wrote: WE DON’T CARE THAT HE’S HOT!!!
You take a deep breath in surprise and bite your lip; you didn’t thoroughly look through all the notes they added last night because your brain was fried from the atomic bomb dumped on you. But that…you didn’t think Heejin would write that.
“He’s hot?” Wooyoung whispers into your ear and you elbow him. Hard.
The door opens behind you and you turn, seeing Kim Hongjoong and Choi Jongho bow and greet everyone, Song Mingi trailing in behind them.
You swallow thickly at his appearance. His black hair is pushed back with a pair of sunglasses on top of his head, a slight smear of eyeliner shapes his already sharp cat eyes, and silver jewerly adorns his entire figure.
He has four chains around his neck, two skinny and two chunky, and you can’t tear your eyes away from his chest. Why is he so broad and big? It doesn’t help that his green t-shirt is nothing but a cloth and only eccentuates every curve and every ripple of his body.
Heejin was right. He is hot and he’s even hotter in person.
Ugh, Y/N, who cares? It’s not like he will be your actual boyfriend. This is all just a ploy to take his “bad boy” crown away.
He has a cocky little smirk on his face as he takes his seat, the black cargo pants and silver belt grasping your attention before his legs disappear under the table. He sits in between Jongho and Hongjoong and you’re startled when suddenly, his eyes are directly on you.
“Ah, the infamous sweetheart of South Korea, L/N Y/N.” Mingi mocks, leaning backwards and running his tongue along his top teeth.
You wanna smack that smug look off of his beautiful, handsome face.
“Ah, the current trouble maker of South Korea, Song Mingi,” you snap back.
He loses his smirk as he eyes you darkly. Two can play this game, Song.
“Alright—” Wooyoung begins, clearing his throat. “Good morning everyone, and thank you for joining us all here at AURA Entertainment. We thank you for your flexibility in your recent schedules in order to make these meetings happen.”
Hongjoong also joins in, “yes, thank you everyone. Now, have both Mingi and Y/N-ssi looked over the contract?”
You nod and look at Mingi. His eyes have never left your face, almost curiously peering into your soul. It unnerves you slightly, leaving you a bit hot under the collar at his undivided attention.
Mingi must’ve looked at the contract because Hongjoong moves on, talking to the reporters for a minute. San is making rapid notes on his laptop regarding social media strategy and how you are going to drop the story that you — and Song Mingi — are now dating.
Netizens are going to have a fucking field day tearing the two of you apart.
“Why the hell are we doing this?” Mingi murmurs to Jongho, but you heard him anyway.
Jongho turns to whisper sharply to him. You don’t hear what he says, but it’s enough for Mingi to groan and turn back to the conversation being had at the table.
“The contract states that the relationship will last about a year…”
You practically choke on your saliva. A whole year?! You’re going to be tied to Song Mingi for almost a year? You’re not sure what you did in your past life to earn this kind of punishment, but you look up to the ceiling and silently ask any God out there to end your suffering.
Of course, that’s you just being dramatic, but you really don’t want to do this for five minutes, let alone a year.
“Did princess not read that in the fine print?” Mingi chuckles, surveying your reaction.
You stick your tongue out in retaliation and suddenly become very aware of your actions and feel incredibly embarrassed. What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like you’re five? You’re better than that.
“The contract includes required public outings, aka dates, at least once or twice a week, social media posts on Instagram and TikTok. Lee Junghoo from Dispatch,” San points toward the man, “will be notified of when these required outings are happening and hire a team to come take pictures. We will then publish the pictures on the internet.”
“So, what? She and I are supposed to go on coffee dates and hold hands and laugh at shitty jokes to sell a relationship? This just sounds like bullshit.” Mingi complains.
“You think I want to do this?” You ask, incredulously. You can feel Wooyoung’s hand on your knee, trying to calm the bouncing you had no idea you were doing. “I’m here because you need me to help fix your shitty image.”
“You don’t know anything about me,” Mingi grits out.
“And I don’t want to.”
You cross your arms across your chest, shaking your head and looking towards San.
“When is this happening?” You wonder.
“Next week. You two will go on a date, have pictures snapped and published, then both compaines will release a statement confirming the relationship.” Jongho explains.
Your ears start ringing, you’re getting overwhelmed by this entire situation and try to calm yourself. A year. It’s just a year and then you can move on. You can do that.
The meeting lasts another forty-five minutes. You dissosociate most of the time and Mingi says nothing. He makes noises such as groans and grunts, and there is a nasty part of your brain that thinks the way he sounds is so attractive. Giving yourself grace, you have to remind yourself that you are just a girl and can only withstand so much.
Jihyo and Heejin are definitely going to chastize you so badly when you get home.
You step outside of the room when the meeting is adjourned, sending a text to the girls that you’ll be home soon.
A presence settles in next to you, smelling of coconut and musk. You bite your lip as you glance to the side, seeing Mingi’s silhouette out of the corner of your eyes.
“Look,” he begins, sucking his teeth. “Outside of our required dates and whatever,” he flaps his right hand around. “I am a busy guy and don’t really have time for actual ‘girlfriend’ things so, don’t fall in love with me.”
The huskiness of his voice is enough to make you want to keel over out of attraction, but you are stronger than that. Plus, it’s not lost on you just how insufferable Mingi seems. You could never date someone like him seriously.
You send him a disgusted look. “Yeah, too busy getting high out of your mind and becoming a walking STD. Trust me, you’re the last person I would fall in love with. Don’t flatter yourself, Song Mingi.”
You hear him make a noise of disagreement and look to see him pursing his lips, nodding his head as he looks out of the window. He turns to look at you.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, angel face.” He winks, smirking at you, before walking after Hongjoong and Jongho.
Fucking asshole.
Later that night, as you’re comfy in your bed, the other girls are probably fast asleep — you do something that you felt somewhat ashamed of.
You take your phone and with a deep breath, type “Song Mingi” into TikTok. This was your first rookie mistake because, of course, people on TikTok are going to be posting edits about how hot, sexy, handsome, attractive, yadda yadda yadda…he is.
Most edits include him on stage, chains pulled into his mouth, tight shirt with no sleeves showing off the contours of his upper body, his deep…dark gaze that he gets before raising the microphone to his mouth.
You get a little lost in some of these edits, watching a bit too closely, too intensely, you barely feel your body start to warm up at what you’re seeing.
What is wrong with you? Is he attractive? Sure, but you know one think for sure: Song Mingi is a full of himself asshole.
You pull your blankets up higher onto your body, worried someone might come in and see what you’re looking at online. Watching edit after edit, you finally stumble on clips of just him doing an interview a few years ago.
He smiles genuinely in the interview, laughing too. What happened? You guess, fame happened.
The caption reads: oh my god he’s such a cutie patootie plsss
Yeah, maybe back then he was. But now? The Song Mingi you were barely familiar with was a force to be reckoned with.
You’re out of breath, sucking in air, with a smile on your face as the crowd at Jamsil Stadium screams.
You’ve just finished your last song of the night (besides the encore) KNOW ABOUT ME, and your heart bursts with the love and energy you feel around you and the girls tonight.
The lightsticks paint the stadium a beautiful, bright purple.
“Thank you so much, Seoul!” Jihyo yells into her mic, earning more screams.
“We love you!” Harin smiles, waving to the crowd.
“Thank you for coming and spending your night with us!” Heejin says, out of breath, too.
You look towards your members, reaching for their hands and as they come towards you, the sparkles on their outfits catch your eye.
Jihyo and Heejin grab your hand while Jihyo also grabs Harin’s.
“Carrying the crown!” You call and all four of you bow deeply. “We have been ROYALS!”
The crowd becomes defeaning, probably because you took out one in-ear so you could hear them better during ending-ments.
When you all pop back up, you wave to the crowd as the lights dim and you make your way backstage.
Stage managers shine flashlights towards the walkway so you know where you’re going and immediately, you have your wardrobe design team coming to help you out of your tight, jeweled corsets.
They move your mic pack from your body to avoid getting in the way of you putting on your encore outfit. Luckily, your encore outfit is a baggy pair of jeans and a tour t-shirt, ripped up slightly and pulled together with different colored ribbons to make it unique.
Once you’re fully dressed, you pull your headset back onto your head and tuck your in-ears by your ears so that they’re easy to put it when you go back onstage.
Wooyoung is saying something closely to Jihyo and Harin when you hear the countdown to line up by the stage again. Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but that dissipates when Wooyoung catches your gaze and winks at you.
The butterflies in your stomach never go away during a show. It may seem strange to some people, but to you, you love that feeling. It reminds you that you’re alive, that this is real, that this is your life.
You play Sticky and Easy for the encore. The crowd eats it up, screaming your names, going wild.
This is what makes everything worth it for you and for the girls. Having your Rebels reach out to you on social media saying that your music changed/saved their lives; that your behind-the-scenes content makes you feel like their friends instead of just idols; you make your fans feel less alone, and that is worth everything in your opinion.
The concert ends with you thanking all the fans for being there for your last show of the world tour, blowing kisses, waving, and saying you love them.
You and the girls do a send off at the end of the night, signing things for fans, saying hi and thank you.
One male fan catches your attention wearing a headband with your butterfly character. You and the girls came up with little characters called ROYALTIES. You have a cute purple and green iridescent butterfly character named Nabibi, Jihyo’s is a snow leopard named Jini, Heejin’s is a dragon named Fizz, and Harin is a ladybug named Ryu.
This fan has dyed blonde hair and it makes you think of one of the Mingi edits you watched late last night. He looked so good with the blonde too…
“Y/N! I love you!” The fan squeals, snapping you back to reality.
You reach forward and grab his photocard, smiling gently as you sign it.
“I love you too,” you respond, moving over to other fans and sigining more things.
“Do you know Song Mingi, the rapper?”
That question makes you freeze slightly and buffer because there’s no fucking way. Well, of course there’s always a fucking way but truly, you didn’t think anyone was going to bring him up.
“Yes, I do,” you smile sweetly, not giving anything away about how you actually feel.
“I think you guys should do a collab!” The male fan suggests, smile so big and phone pointed right at you.
You move to someone else and sign whatever they brought to the send off, you can’t even remember what was just thrust in your hands.
“That would be an interesting collab!” You laugh, trying to brush the question off.
Luckily, that’s the end of that and no one else says anything about it, but deep down you wonder if someone is trying to put two and two together.
No, that’s ridiculous, how could they? The only time you’ve been in the same room as Mingi is at the company. There is no way.
When the send off is over and you’re all set to go home, you hear a knock at the dressing room. You cannot see who it is since your eyes are closed with cotton rounds pressed into them doused with makeup remover, the makeup remover soothing your dry, tired eyes.
You assume it’s one of the girls or Wooyoung, coming to check on you after the show, asking if you’re ready to head out, but the person at the door clears their throat and you freeze.
It’s a deep keheum, one you’ve heard before but never in this setting. It’s one you instantly recognize as someone who shouldn’t even be here. Your skin sets alight with fire as you pull the cotton rounds from your eyes and look up into the mirror.
There, staring back at you, are those pointed, sharp, dark eyes that belong to the one and only Song Mingi.
“What are you doing here?” You squeak, surprised.
You don’t even care that your mascara has gathered underneath your eye, making you look like a raccoon.
Mingi’s dark hair is pulled back into a small half up/half down situation, eccentuating his facial features more than usual. He’s wearing a large denim bejewled jacket with a white tank top and baggy black jeans with three chains hanging to the right of his hip. He looks, dare you say, really…really good.
“I’m supposed to take you home tonight.” He responds, leaning against the door frame exasperatedly.
“What do you mean?” You ask, thoroughly confused. “We aren’t having our date tonight.”
“No, our date is tomorrow, but Hongjoong-hyung said it would be a good idea if maybe we sparked up speculation before the date happens.” Mingi says,
Of course, of course, this would happen to you.
The man that you have to fake date to better his career, who cannot leave your mind since you laid eyes on him, is now here after your concert has ended to take you home.
Of course.
Your lips turn up at the idea of this happening right now, but decide that you’ll just go and get it over with.
“Fine,” you smile sarcastically. “You can carry my bag on the way out.”
“What the fuck? No.” Mingi spits, seemingly finding the idea stupid.
“You’re supposed to be my boyfriend,” you smile again. “You’re supposed to be enjoy doing things for me. Carrying my bag is a small gesture of that.”
Mingi grimaces at what you’re saying but sighs, poking his tongue into the side of his cheek and holds out his hand.
You stand from the dressing table, grabbing your stuff, including your very heavy duffle bag, and walk over to him with a pep in your step.
Gingerly, you place the duffle into his large hands adorned with rings, and squeeze past him, getting a strong whiff of cologne.
He smells like he did the other day, musky and coconutty. That scent combo is going to drive you insane, you can feel it.
Mingi follows behind you, matching your stride.
His arm brushes yours gently and you shiver, what the hell is wrong with you?
“Did you see the show?” You wonder.
Mingi hums absent-mindedly. “It was cool.”
You eye him, squinting. “Just cool?”
He shrugs.
“Your members are super talented.”
“And I’m not?” You scoff, blood simmering slightly.
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you didn’t not say it.”
“Y/N, come on.”
The way he says your name has you faltering in your step.
“Whatever.” You say, not even willing to argue about it.
It’s clear that he is just trying to get under your skin and unfortunately, it’s working. You would think after being an idol after so many years, little comments wouldn’t even phase you. For some reason, those comments are different coming from his mouth.
You don’t like the way he makes you feel and you’ve barely interacted. This is going to be a lot harder than you originally thought.
You get outside, following Mingi towards his car since you have no idea where he parked.
He takes his car keys out of his pocket and clicks the unlock button on the fob. The headlights to a Porsche illuminate the surrounding area and you snort. Typical.
Reaching for the door handle, he beats you to it and opens the passenger door for you.
You look up, watching his expression.
“I’m supposed to enjoy doing things for you, right?”
Right. Right.
You press a palm to your chest to try and push away the fluttering feeling you are experiencing, and simply thank him, getting into the car.
You take a deep breath.
Mingi puts your bag in the backseat before rounding the front of the car to get into the driver’s side. You pull your phone out of your purse, noticing just how many notifications you have.
royalty forver
zyozyo: we already left the stadium in a company van. wooyoung said mingi was going to pick you up??
rinrin: sorry unnie :( this situation sucks
heejinie: yeah fr this situation stupid as hell
heejinie: let us know when you’re on your way home
You send a text to let them know you are indeed with Mingi and on your way home.
manager youngie: I don’t want to wake up and read any mean text messages in the morning. get some rest, Y/N, you’ve worked for this tour.
mt. san: don’t hate me, I am just doing my job. you know I love you Y/N :(
unknown number: Hi Y/N, this is Choi Jongho at KQ. We understand this might be slightly incovenient, however…
You don’t even read the entire text, there’s no point. What’s done is done and there is no coming back from this anymore. Looking up, you realize the car hasn’t even begun to move and you look at Mingi.
He immediately catches your look and sends you a face. “I don’t know where you live.”
“You didn’t get my address from Wooyoung? Along with my personal schedule?” You snap.
Mingi gives you a bored look and shoves his phone in your direction, Naver navigation up and waiting your address. Once you plug it in, it gets pulled up onto the screen in Mingi’s car, showing him exactly where to take you.
The streets of Seoul are rarely quiet. There’s always people on the roads, people taking a walk by the Han River by themselves or with a dog. You love Seoul, you love the life you live and wouldn’t do anything to mess it up.
Unfortunately for you, a big wrench that has just appeared in your life is sitting right next to you, driving you home. You’re not really listening to the radio, but you watch the way the lights and shadows move across Mingi’s face, highlighting different features and areas.
Once again, proving Heejin right, you can’t help but call him hot. He is.
“What are we doing tomorrow?” You ask, curious.
“I don’t know, I don’t really fucking care.”
“Tell me how you really feel.” You roll your eyes.
“I didn’t agree to this shit, so sorry if I’m not exactly thrilled about any of this.”
“Oh, and I did?” You bark.
“You could’ve told your company that you didn’t want to.”
“I did!” You practically yell. “Why the fuck would I want to be in a fake dating arrangement to help some problematic rapper who can’t keep his dick where it belongs?”
“How do I know this wasn’t all your idea? Maybe you crave something other than your perfect little fucking idol life; maybe you want some excitement without the committment; maybe because you are so desperate to be wanted, you don’t even care if it’s real.”
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Your eyes burn as tears rise and you take a deep breath. Fuck, that was brutal. A choked sob wants to claw its way through your throat, trying to fight its way to the surface, but you swallow it down. There is no way in hell that you are allowing him to see how much his words just affected you personally.
You chose to be an idol because maybe finally there would be someone who would choose you. And someone did choose you. Jihyo chose you, Heejin chose you, Harin chose you, your millions of fans chose you.
You didn’t hear from your parents often, them not approving of you being an idol instead of what they wanted you to be. Your siblings reached out every so often, too busy and caught up with their own lives in the different countries they live in, barely keeping you informed.
This career, the years you slaved away dancing, singing, rapping, hoping to debut— it wasn’t for nothing. And it was something that you chose for yourself.
You turn your body away from Mingi, allowing all your attention to be on the streets outside, going by in blurs.
“You don’t even know me,” you whisper, not even sure if he heard you, your hot breath fogging up the glass of the window.
“I don’t want to know you.”
You recall saying something along those lines to Mingi in the press conference the other day. You didn't even blink when you said them, but hearing Mingi say them...it hurts more than you care to admit.
Why is it so easy for him to get under your skin? You guys barely know each other unless it’s something that the general public has knowledge of but honestly, you agree with Mingi — you don’t want to know him either. Unfortunately, it seems unlikely for that to happen when you’re stuck together for the next year.
You need to not take his words to heart, like you said, he doesn’t know you and he doesn’t want to know you. Who cares? Who cares what he thinks in that stupid, stupid brain of his?
You’ve calmed down enough to not burst into tears if you were to say something again, which is a win in your book. Just ignore him, he’s an asshole. There’s a reason his company wanted you to be the one to help clean up his image.
“Ask me again,” you hear.
You turn your head, looking at Mingi, mere confusion filling your features.
“Ask me what we’re doing tomorrow.”
You’re silent for a minute, not sure what’s happening. But, you decide to play along for the hell of it.
“What are we doing tomorrow?”
“Well, that would take all the fun out of it, wouldn’t it, angel face?”
You practically gag at the nickname. Ugh, gross. Weirdly though, you think that was his own way of apologizing to you. Okay, maybe not apologizing per se..but throwing the tip of an olive branch your way. Rolling your eyes, you look out the window to see that you are turning on the street of your apartment.
The car rolls to a stop in front of the apartment building and Mingi looks up at the building, almost assessing.
“This place is kinda nice.”
“Kinda? We are worldwide successful musicians. It is nice.”
Mingi doesn’t say anything. He just puts the car in park and gets out, grabbing your duffle bag from the backseat. He even opens the door for you again.
Very gentlemeny, to your dismay and with how much of a jerk he’s been to you on the ride over.
He follows you silently with your duffle bag over his shoulder to the front door. You put in your code and the door beeps open. Turning to face him, you reach out for your duffle. Luckily, he allows you to take it so you can go inside.
“Thanks for the ride,” you whisper, the air feeling awkward between you two.
He’s standing there, hands shoved into the pockets of his pants, just looking at you.
“Well, it’s not like I had a fucking choice.”
Right. How could you forget? (Spoiler alert: you didn’t). He was also told something along the lines of “go to ROYALS’s concert tonight and drive Y/N home. We have to start rumors before the date.”
“Well,” you begin, feeling salty again. “Thank you for getting me home safely.”
Mingi nods, literally saluting to you like a soldier before he turns around and walks to his car.
This is going to be a long year.
You’re messing with your hair for the eighth time since you saw your reflection in the windows of the cafe you’re at. It’s a very cute French inspired interior, but that also means surfaces have a lot of mirrored qualities and you’ve caught your appearance multiple times now.
Should you have worn a different blouse? Maybe a different skirt? Should you have worn pants instead?
Jesus, why are you so nervous all of a sudden? It’s not like this is a real date, you are not trying to impress Song Mingi. It’s not like he cares anyway, so why do you?
Honestly, it’s just who you are as a person. Sometimes, you really wish you could flip that switch off, especially for someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Speak of the Devil, Mingi walks into the cafe wearing an oversized suit jacket, light wash baggy jeans with a belt and chain, and a graphic tee. His chunky sneakers echo against the cafe’s tile floors.
You look down at your outfit. You skirt is denim and very short and your shirt is pink and flowy. You’re wearing cute dark brown Mary Jane’s with a slight block heel and scalloped edge white socks.
You and Mingi could genuinely not be any more different. His eyes scan the cafe, stopping when he meets yours and comes over to your table.
“Hey,” you smile gently, trying to really sell it for the people who might be looking at you and Mingi.
Mingi squints, confusion taking over his face. Don’t blow it, you idiot.
You raise your hand to hold up your chin against the table, clearing your throat. Your eyes widen slightly, trying to send him a message like — hey, we’re supposed to be dating.
It takes a second, but something finally clicks in Mingi’s brain and he nods, mouth opening slightly as he understands the situation.
“Um,” he clears his own throat. “Hey, dollface.”
You try not to allow your eye to twitch at the nickname even though deep down it irks you.
He takes the seat across from you and sits awkwardly, like he doesn’t know what to do with his body. It’s genuinely the first time you’ve ever seen him in something so out of his comfort zone. You stretch your arms across the table top, making a move, seeing if he would pick up on it.
He does, luckily, doing the same with his arms in order to brush his fingertips against your sleeves.
“I didn’t know what you wanted to drink,” you start gently. “Americano?”
Mingi nods, not meeting your eyes. “Um, yeah…I’ll go…I’ll go grab us drinks. What do you want?”
“Iced vanilla latte, please.”
He doesn’t say anything and just stands, going to order.
As he waits for your drinks at the counter, you wonder how this is all going to pan out today. Hopefully, you can just be civil and pretend to like each other so that you don’t suffer from any more verbal wounds.
Your phone buzzes, lighting up as you left it face up on the table.
A KakaoTalk message from Jihyo catches your eye.
zyozyo: if he says something mean to you again, let me know and i’ll rip his testicles out and shove them down his throat. love you y/n
Mingi comes back with both of your drinks and places yours in front of you. You thank him quietly and take a sip of your drink from the open hole in the lid.
Mingi gulps down half of his drink, condensation barely appearing before his drink is halfway empty. He tweaks his head to the side, black hair falling into his eyes.
“If we are going to do this,” Mingi begins, voice low. “We need some rules.”
“Rules? For dating?” You raise an eyebrow.
“Well, yeah, because we’re not really dating.”
You exhale harshly, but don’t disagree. Crossing your arms, you wait for more.
Mingi leans in, chest brushing your fingers and you have half a mind to not jerk away impulsively.
“In public, everything we do is for the cameras. We can hug, hold hands, whatever. In private, I don’t want you touching me, I don’t want you invading my personal time.”
You bite your tongue. Personal time, huh? Probably all the personal time he has, he uses it to screw whatever clout chasing girl he can get his hands on, literally.
“Should we exchange phone numbers?” You ask, trying to remain unaffected from his previous statement.
He stares at you deeply, causing you to look away by how intense it is. He eventually slides his phone over to you, contacts app open and ready for you to put your number in.
When you finish and send yourself a text message so you have his number too, you push it back across the table towards him.
“Text me before you randomly show up at my place and I will be courteous and do the same thing.” Mingi explains.
You nod, both of you on the same page regarding that. You definitely do not want Mingi anywhere near your home if you are not prepared/in the mindset to handle him mentally.
“Only text me if it pertains to plans regarding dates.”
“Why else would I be texting you?” You wonder, raising an eyebrow.
“Because you’re needy? I don’t know.”
“Me?” You scoff. “That’s rich.”
You notice out of the corner of your eye, a phone tilted suspiciously in your direction, the owner trying to be nonchalant as they take sneak glances at their screen. Mingi opens his mouth and you can see the fire in his eyes. Nope, can’t happen.
Shifting gears, you smile at Mingi, trying to think of something to say that seems natural.
“What are you doing today?” You ask, taking some sips of your latte.
The sweetness hits you just right and it makes you feel less on edge about everything going on at the moment.
Mingi doesn’t even blink at the question, seemingly noticing the same thing you did.
“Going to the studio, I have some lyrics I need to write down.”
“What kind of lyrics?”
“Just…lyrics.”
“Riveting.”
Mingi takes his balled up straw wrapper off the table and chucks it in your direction.
“Hey!” You screech. “Don’t be annoying.”
Mingi grabs the wrapper from where it bounced off your cheek and opens the lid off of his cup, throwing the wrapper inside his empty cup.
You finish your latte, putting it down and hearing the ice shift in the cup.
Mingi is staring at you, but not at your eyes — no, your lips.
“You have…um,” he vaguely gestures to his own lip.
You can see something flicker in his eyes and he leans forward, reaching towards your face.
Yeah, no, not happening.
You smile tightly, going to wipe your own lip with a napkin.
“Touch me like that and this fake date becomes a real funeral,” you chuckle sweetly, trying to make it seem as if you were saying something very different.
Mingi sucks his teeth and leans back, arms crossing across his broad chest. You look away, turning towards the window when you feel a foot touch your own. You pretend not to notice and let whatever is happening, happen.
Mingi’s feet cage in your own under the table and to onlookers, you think that it might look incredibly, irresistably cute. Internally, you are swallowing down your heart that has started to beat faster than normal.
As you’re looking out of the window, you notice some guys outside, trying to hide themselves. Taking a closer focused look, you realize they have cameras and something dawns on you. Dispatch.
Right. Because you’re supposed to be leaking photos today to stir up the media about your “relationship.”
“Dispatch is here,” you say quietly. “Should we make our exit?”
Mingi nods, standing and stretching his arms. As he stretches, his shirt rises, exposing a strong, defined cut V in his waist, disappearing into the band of his underwear. You sniff, blinking rapidly before going to stand on your own.
As your chair scrapes across the tile, you feel like everyone in the cafe is looking at you. They’re staring at you and Mingi, they see through your rouse, you aren’t fooling anyone—
“Dollface?”
You snap out of your strange spiral to see Mingi looking at you with an annoyed look.
Leaving, yep, yep.
Mingi throws both of your cups away and peers at you curiously.
“Should I hold your hand? Your fans will think it’s cute.” He says.
“And yours will probably keel over and die if they think you’re not in the club every night being a menace to society.” You mumble.
Mingi doesn’t say anything in retort and reaches for your hand. Your heart stops, genuinely. When he laces your fingers together, you feel how warm his hands are.
They’re big and swallow yours easily, the rings he wears biting into your skin. There’s a small callous on the inside of his thumb that you can feel and honestly, even just holding his hand feels incredibly intimate. You don’t like it. You don’t like this.
As you step outside, you can hear the clicks of the cameras across the street and take a deep breath. No going back now.
“Did you drive?”
You nod, not trusting your words.
“I’ll walk you to your car.”
You don’t argue with him, knowing that it makes sense and will be good for pictures. You walk in the direction of your car, Mingi’s hand weighing heavily on your own.
You haven’t held hands with someone “romantically” in such a long time. You dated someone during your trainee years, but that crashed and burned into something really ugly. When you think about it, it almost makes you feel touch starved. You’re touchy with the girls of course, but that’s different. You’re not romantically attracted to any of them.
Mingi…well, Mingi is attractive. You would never be interested in him romantically, obviously, given the person he is, but he would be someone that you would go for.
You get to your car and when you unlock it, Mingi reaches for the car door, guiding you in and almost shielding you with his body once you get into the driver’s seat.
He’s so close to you, boxing you in, suffocating you with his scent. It makes your brain feel fuzzy.
“Don’t crash.” He simply says. “That would be super annoying to deal with.”
You roll your eyes. Asshole.
“See you.” You say.
“Yeah, whatever, see you.” He steps away and shuts your door for you, waiting until you drive away to walk towards his car.
A whole year of that, great. Just great.
You’re slurping up some ramen, eyes unfocused on on the show in front of you. Harin wanted to sit down and spend TV time with you after your long day.
Jihyo and Heejin are at the studio, working on something that they were inspired with a bit earlier in the day.
The TV sound is just background noise at this point, you focusing on finishing your ramen and setting the empty carton on the coffee table. You lean back against the couch, exhaling and closing your eyes.
You’ve had quite the week and your body is beginning to yell at you.
Hey, I’m tired! it’s saying.
Before you fully doze off though, Harin’s laughter lulling you to sleep, you feel your phone buzz against your thigh.
manager youngie: twitter.co.kr/dispatch-news
manager youngie: we are issuing our confirmation statement alongside KQ tomorrow morning
You groan, clicking on the link.
No turning back now.
a/n: thank you for reading! not sure when pt 2 will be up but I am currently working on it. pls be patient - i have a life too :)
⤷ You almost lost your life not once but twice, yet the heavens had other plans for you. Blessed with another chance to live, you built yourself from the ground up and changed yourself for the better. Things were going great for you until an intruder showed up in your place—your first love, who had betrayed you.
pirate!mingi x princess!reader ft. pirate!ateez, pirate au, exes-to-lovers, rebirth, revenge, slow burn(?), heavy heavy angst, humor in some parts, fluff at the end
warning ━━ profanities, mentions of blood, use of weapons, near death experience, toxic family members, deaths, long flashbacks, timelapses, misunderstandings, may not be historically accurate, emotionally heavy (a big warning)
word count ━━ 31.2k (sorry not sorry)
playlist ━━ I don't wanna live forever - zayn, taylor swift | vigilante shit - taylor swift | catch fire - 5 seconds of summer | imgonnagetyouback - taylor swift | die with a smile - lady gaga, bruno mars
a/n ━━ First of all, I apologize for the very late update. A lot has happened the past year, so I had to put this on hold for a while. This is another story inspired by my dreams, and this might be my favorite work that I have written so far. I just love everything about this, and the length says it all.
𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁
"Jongho's team to the village; Wooyoung and Yeosang to the shore. Seonghwa's team, come with me to the headquarters. Position yourselves to your assigned areas; remember what we trained for." You announced to the intercom that resounded around the building.
You were working on a new machine with the technical team when the alarm suddenly rang and red lights flashed around the whole building, signaling the presence of intruders, so Jongho immediately pressed the big red button on his office table, calling for an emergency lockdown.
You and Seonghwa's team dispersed around the building exits to prevent the intruders from escaping the premises. You, Seonghwa, and his team moved to your designated areas and hid yourselves: some hiding around the corners while the others were behind crates, and you hid behind an unsuspecting wall after setting up a trap.
Just then, you heard slow footsteps nearby, and as soon as the person stepped on the rope, triggering the trap you had set up, which caused them to trip, you signaled towards Seonghwa across from you to start attacking the intruder.
"Drop your weapon!" Seonghwa commanded sternly as he pointed his gun towards the intruder, who immediately, in acquiescence, dropped their cutlass on the ground, resisting to fight back.
"I'm sorry, please don't kill me. Don't kill us; we're not here to fight or steal anything." The man begged as he knelt on the ground with his head down, body shaking in fear and coldness.
Wait, that voice...why does it sound so familiar?
You finally exited from your hiding spot to take a closer look at the man who had just spoken, striding towards them, and as they came into view, you let out an audible gasp in sheer disbelief when you recognized who it was.
"Yunho?!"
Yunho's eyes widened when he heard you call his name, and his body blanched at your presence; he couldn't believe his eyes in that moment. It felt like he was stuck in a hyperrealistic dream, or was he just seeing things? "y-y/n...? How a-are you alive?" How exactly were you standing in front of him? Of course, he would ask that kind of question.
You stopped him with a hand, shaking your head feeling aggravated. "Let's save that talk for later. Tell me how many of you are here?"
"There's f-four of us, but y/n—"
"Seonghwa, bring him to the interrogation room. I'll go find the others," you ordered. Half of Seonghwa's team followed behind you, while the other half assisted him with bringing Yunho to the said room.
You eagerly checked around the area for the other intruders, and to your luck, a tall man wearing a wide-brimmed hat on his head that covered his face almost entirely, walked into the room you were in unsuspectingly. You tried to run up to him.
However, the clicking of your boots alerted the man to quickly escape, so you followed after him with all your might. The man was impressively fast, but you still caught up to him within seconds. Kicking his knees from behind and tackling him down to the ground, the man grunted at the impact. "Don't move."
You swiftly pulled off the bandanna that covered his face, only for you to instantly regret your actions because the man lying defenselessly below you was the last person in the world you wanted to see. "Mingi...what the hell are you doing here?" Your eyes scanned him from head to toe; he wore a frock coat with a loose shirt on the inside, slightly damped black trousers, leather boots, a sash around his waist, and his hair disheveled. "How did you find this place?" You were exasperated, wounded, anything but glad. "Answer me before I kill you." You fumed with gritted teeth, ready to pull out your pistol.
Mingi stared at your almost unfamiliar appearance as if he had seen a ghost, as if you were someone he had never met in his life before. "y/n...it's y-you." He slowly lifted his hand up to touch your face, to feel your skin, to confirm that you weren't just a figment of his imagination, but you slapped his hand away with force. "I'm glad you're alive."
You huffed at the sound of his voice, rolling your eyes in the process, and the sight of his lips curling up made you almost slap them away from his face too. "After abandoning me in the middle of nowhere, you have the nerve to show up in front of my face?"
"I-I can explain—"
"You left me behind, Mingi. You betrayed me, tried to kill me, and I almost died because of you. I had to start from nothing and now that I've built my place and met my people, you're going to ruin everything for me again?" You moved your face closer to his, glowering at him. "Unfortunately for you, I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore."
Mingi could sense all the anger, sorrow, and pain you have bottled up inside as your eyes gazed into him with fire and your hands firmly wrapped around his neck to cut off his breathing, which he accepted without a fight. After all, he deserved to be killed by you right here and right now.
-
[ 14 years ago. ]
You were the only daughter of the king and queen of Fever Kingdom, and they said you had a gifted intelligence for a young child. You excelled in a lot of things that no other princess could compare to you in: you learned how to speak various languages, as well as use weapons with ease. You studied about the history of the kingdom, the list of pirates that must be avoided at all costs, including those who tried to step foot into the kingdom, and even about construction and technology, not knowing the fate that was awaiting you.
That was until the day came when a group of pirates trespassed and attacked the kingdom. Although the royal guards outnumbered the pirates, the ferocious sea dogs still managed to eliminate them, including your beloved parents, leaving you alone with your personal tutor inside the castle's library. It was a fearsome and traumatic experience for everyone, the vicious pirates who mercilessly took the lives of all your loved ones.
"Keep these books, Your Highness. Don't let anyone take these away from you; you're going to need them someday." Madame Lee spoke to you in a hushed voice, afraid that someone would hear her from where you hid, handing you your pink backpack filled with various books. She didn't want to scare you with what was happening, so she bombarded you with compliments to distract you, planting a deep kiss on your forehead one last time before exiting the room.
As soon as you heard her scream in fear, that was when you realized the reality you were currently in. You were now all alone in this cruel world with no one else to rely on. You were trained to fight, to stand up for yourself, but you weren't taught how to survive alone at this age. Tears started running down your cheeks as you sat on the floor in fear and hopelessness. Why was this happening? You were only a child trying to make sense of the world.
"Hey, kid. Come with us; no one else is here." A tall man, who had an eye patch covering his right eye, arms decorated in scars, and what seemed like a dagger in his hand, called for you by the doorway. His hand was covered in the blood of who you assumed was Madame Lee. You were reluctant to move, hugging your bag tightly for comfort, but the man hauled you towards him, and soon, you found yourself in a large ship that had a red and black jolly roger hanging above it.
"Who's this little thing?" A woman in her 40s wearing a tricorn on her head asked as she chewed on some candy in her mouth, "Gimme that." She harshly grabbed the bag from your hands, pulling out a book from inside. She tried to read a few words written on it, her head tilting from side to side with a grimace. "What is this? A bunch of lines and weird stuff." With that, she threw the bag back at you, and you swore, that was the most nerve-wracking moment you've ever felt.
You found out some time later that the pirates on the ship were functionally illiterate, although when it came to fighting and stealing goods, they were very exceptional at it. No wonder they were able to eliminate everyone in the castle despite being outnumbered; they weren't called the 'black pirates of the sea' for nothing.
Thankfully, they gave you a place to stay. It was small but enough for you to survive, and they also provided you food and water in exchange for you serving them as a cabin girl. If that was the only way you got to live, then you wouldn't question it.
It's been weeks since you started working wearily at the ship, mates pushing you around, telling you to do this and that, cleaning up spilled drinks, washing up dirty clothes, all just to be made fun of. You endured all of that for the sake of sparing your life until one sunny Tuesday morning, life started feeling a bit lighter. You met a pirate friend for the first time when you accidentally entered the captain's cabin and saw him sitting on the bed with an angry look on his face, whispering incoherent words fo himself.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know someone was in here." You quickly apologized to him, but before you could leave, he stopped you.
"Wait, don't go." The boy jumped off the bed and ran up to where you stood. "You look nice; come play with me." Seeing him up close, you noticed his sharp facial features, a tiny mole on his cheek, thick soft lips, and height taller than you.
You stared at him warily, fidgeting with the broom you were holding. "Play with you?"
"Yeah, like I hide somewhere and you go look for me." He rubbed his nape in embarrassment. "Sorry, it gets really boring out here. I have no one to play with because people are always busy fighting, but maybe you're not like them. I've actually never seen you here before."
"Mingi!" You heard the captain's voice from outside the room, which made both of you flinch.
Mingi groaned, irritated, "Coming, mother." He shouted back before apologizing to you for the interruption, "I'll see you later...what's your name?"
"Uhm...y/n, I'm y/n."
"Great! See you later, y/n."
-
You met up with Mingi at the same place later that day to play the game he talked about earlier, and since then, the two of you began to bond and create an unexpected friendship that made you ease the pain you went through before all this. He would tell you jokes he thought were funny, although you couldn't understand then, but you would laugh anyway.
He would also share about his life growing up, which he insisted was boring, and he even introduced you to his other friends: Hongjoong, Yunho, and San, whom he had first met during a training session. They were surprisingly too nice to be pirates as they had treated you with kindness. In exchange for their amiability towards you, you taught them how to read and write with a promise that they keep it to themselves. Who would've thought that a princess would ever befriend pirates?
Together with Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho, and San, you began to see life differently, or rather, you started to get used to the setup of living a completely different life with the pirates: from royalty to a nobody, but you were somebody to them. The captain of HalaHala would treat you to good food like you were someone valuable, or maybe it was all a facade; you weren't sure.
What you knew instead was that as long as you were with your newfound friends, you felt that there was still hope left for you. They became your source of happiness amidst the struggles you were facing. You found comfort from them, and you thought things were changing for the better.
"We're going to be best friends forever!"
For eight long years, you shared nothing but smiles and laughter with them. You revealed to them about you growing up in royalty and how the pirates, who killed all your loved ones, eventually adopted you. Mingi felt remorseful for what they did to your kingdom, especially that his mother was the captain of HalaHala. Truthfully speaking, he never really liked the idea of killing people in the first place. It was unfortunate that he was a son of a renowned pirate.
Hongjoong shared about his older brother being killed trying to protect him during a fight between pirates and how he was brought into the ship unknowingly, similar to what they did to you. Yunho was an orphan who got adopted by the ship's quartermaster, and San was the son of a crewmate. The five of you were just a group of young, innocent kids trying to make sense of the world you were forced to live in.
You and Mingi grew extremely close the more time you spent with each other. The two of you became inseparable, talking nonstop, and even sneaking out at night to watch the stars, almost like you couldn't live without each other. And one day, he finally professed his true feelings for you with a bunch of flowers he personally picked when the ship stopped by an island earlier.
In a hidden area of the ship, he cleared his throat, fidgeting with his shirt nervously. "I like you, y/n. I can feel my heart beat fast whenever I'm with you, and seeing you smile makes me feel better. Please, accept my heart." He even knelt on the ground with his head down to show you how sincere he was with it, and you couldn't help but titter.
"Get up, Mingi. Your pants are going to get dirty." You pulled him up to make him stand on his feet. "I like you too, silly boy. Thank you for liking me."
Mingi became your everything: the arms you run to for comfort, the hands that hold you when you feel scared or exhausted, the lips you kiss goodnight every time the sky gets dark, and the eyes that bring you to another world where all you could feel was happiness. That was who he was, and he meant so much to you. He was the person you loved so much, so...how did it end up like this?
"Mingi? No...NO!"
"I'm so sorry, y/n." Those were the last words you heard from him as you watched his figure disappear into the distance with the ship you were once a part of. No warnings, no excuses, just pure betrayal.
Eight years together down the drain.
The previous night, he was kissing you goodnight with so much passion but with a hint of fear. He kissed you with tears in his eyes all while whispering sweet nothings in your ears, and you had absolutely no idea that the man who gave you love when it was taken away from you was the same man who would, one day, take your life.
Mingi was a pirate after all; hell, he was the son of the captain of the notorious HalaHala. They were bound to kill you sooner or later, but why did it have to be him of all people? Why did he have to make you feel like you had everything and then take it all away like it meant nothing?
That was heartbreak and death in one.
You didn't even realize you lost consciousness until you were woken up by someone nudging you awake. You groaned as your eyes adjusted to the light that shone down on your face, seeing silhouettes of people surrounding you. However, you fainted again due to hunger, and panicked screams were heard. The second time you woke up, you were in a comfortable bed in a small house with a person sitting next to you on a chair. As soon as your eyes opened and you seemed to be breathing normally, a sigh was heard from beside you.
"Finally, you're awake. You're alive, princess."
Princess?
You turned to the side and saw a few familiar faces dressed in linen and wool clothing with the brightest smiles plastered on their faces, others stifling their sobs. "Where am I? What happened?" How did you even end up here?
"We found you unconscious by the shore, princess. Thank god, the heavens brought you to us. You were gone for eight years; we thought we had lost you too." The man cried, expressing how grateful he was that you were alive.
Studying his face closely, your mind suddenly brought you back to the kingdom. You recognized the men and women in front of you were some of the castle guards and maids. They had hidden from the pirates during the attack and successfully escaped after by using the ship that was being built during that time to find a new place to stay.
After countless days of being stuck in the middle of the vast ocean, they finally stumbled upon a secluded island where they had asked for help. The people who resided on the island were secretly hiding away from the pirates too, so they became alerted when they heard cries for help until they saw the suits and dresses of the guards and maids. It was their first time seeing actual people from a royal kingdom, which they had always believed were only myths.
"Who did this to you, Your Highness?" One of the maids asked, deeply concerned, observing your almost lifeless state.
With all the energy you had left, you managed to speak out a few words in response. "P-pirates..." Your voice was hoarse, still the men and women at once knew who you were referring to.
"Those damn pirates, we're going to get our revenge on them. You are our hope, Your Highness."
You were blessed that the tides brought you to this island: the island of hope, the island of new beginnings, and the island where you will have your last breath. This was another life given to you.
After you recovered, you took in the sight of how peaceful, bright, and different the place was. The houses were made of stones with flowers surrounding them, the food was fresh and delicious—a taste that hits too close to home—and their clothes were simple yet clean, radically different than your situation back at the ship.
What caught your eyes was how happy the people were: children running around chasing each other, mothers sharing meals with the workers, and husbands taking care of their wives. It felt like paradise, a rainbow after the storm. You loved seeing their smiles as it brought you a new sense of hope, another chance to live a better life, hoping that this was the last life you had to live, but your thoughts shifted to the brutal fights you'd witnessed before, and that scared you too much.
What if the pirates happen to find this island? How would the people protect themselves?
"Your Highness, aren't these your books from the kingdom?" One of the maids showed you your pink damp bag that you had kept to yourself for the past eight years; you were even surprised it was still with you after Mingi basically threw you out in the middle of the ocean. "These are all about construction and technology; do you read about them?"
"Yeah, I do..." Your mind instantly envisioned the island with improved housing and more buildings, where the people are guaranteed to live more securely in better living conditions with weapons and other technology that could help with their survival. That was it; that was the answer. That was exactly what you needed those books for; that's what Madame Lee meant when she said you were going to need them one day.
This was the day.
"We might need more hands and lots and lots of resources. Do you think we can do this?"
With the help and cooperation of the people and the connections the royal guards and maids had with other kingdoms, you were able to guide the people in constructing buildings and infrastructure, leading to the creation of a better and more advanced community. The question on how the guards were able to contact other kingdoms was too long of a story to tell, but they made it work. Because of your impressive knowledge on the outside world and fighting skills, the people had made you their new leader of the island and captain of the crew.
As months continued to pass and more advanced technology and weapons were developed, the number of people on the island also began to increase. Pirates and intruders were killed by you and your guards after endless trainings, whereas outcasts like Yeosang, who was abandoned by his crew because of his innocence and incompetence, while one of their best gunners, Wooyoung, followed him voluntarily; Jongho, who was kicked out because of his reoccurring injuries; and Seonghwa, who left his crew because his ideas weren't being acknowledged and possibly because of his red parrot friend too. They were taken in for interrogation before accepting them on the island and being trained to become officially part of your crew, the 'Blue Bird.'
A year of training led to Wooyoung becoming your first mate, definitely not because he whined about it, and the leader for trainings, although he's a scalawag sometimes; Jongho became the boatswain and head of the technical team; Seonghwa became the quartermaster and head of securities and was supposedly your first mate, while Yeosang became the deckhand, who leads in navigation. Some of the guards were part of the crew as well to help during battles.
That was how the island, which you now call as 'New World,' was established.
[ end. ]
"Captain?" Yeosang hurriedly entered the room upon hearing your voice. "We have captured the rest of the intruders and cleared the area." His eyes landed on Mingi, who remained defenseless on the ground. "And it seems you got the last guy. Should we finish this one off? " He whispered the last part to you, even though Mingi could still hear him.
You didn't want to believe it, but as you glanced back down at Mingi, you saw how his eyes were full of defeat and regret. Those weren't there the last time you saw him; why have them now?
"Seeing how much she hates me—no, despises me—for what I had done to her, it's best if you kill me right now. But please, spare my friends; they didn't mean anything wrong." Your hands, which you forgot were around his neck, loosened.
Yeosang's eyes traveled back and forth from Mingi to you in bewilderment. "Wait, you know each other?"
Before Mingi could say anything back to Yeosang, you scoffed bitterly and diverted your gaze away from him as you removed yourself from Mingi's body, getting back on your feet, and brushing off dirt from your trousers. "Bring him to the interrogation room with the rest. If he tries to escape, call me immediately. I'll end him myself."
"Aye-aye, captain." Yeosang suddenly stood at attention and made a salute sign your way, earning him a serious look from you. "Sorry."
"Why do I even put up with you?"
-
The interrogation room fell silent except for the sound of your leather-heeled boots clicking on the floor as you paced back and forth in front of the intruders with your hands resting on both sides of your hips, jaw clenching at the sight of the four familiar men: Mingi, San, Yunho, and Hongjoong, who once meant so much to you, now tied up in chairs while being guarded by two of your loyal guards. The room was bright, yet the atmosphere was heavy and dim. Being in the same room as them felt sickening, vivid memories from a decade ago replaying in your mind.
"I really want to know how the four of you traitors found your way onto this island and what your real intentions are because—god—I'm going to lose my fucking mind." You slammed your fist hard onto the table in the middle of the room, making every person in the room flinch. "Did your captain bring you here to assault us? Rob us?" Bending down to Mingi's eye-level, you pulled out a dagger from your pocket carry and bringing it close to his jaw, so close that one wrong move from him will scratch his pale skin. "Or did she maroon you too, like you did to me?" Mingi wanted to speak up and explain everything to you yet he couldn't move a single inch of his body. "Maybe San or Yunho can answer that for me, since I don't like to waste my time listening to liars." You stared deeply into Mingi's pained eyes.
Both San and Yunho looked up at you desperately, lips quivering and bodies slumped. It was the first time you'd seen Yunho cry this much, and it made you wonder what they went through before they had stepped into this place. You almost saw yourself in them, although that will never compare to the nightmare you had to experience twice.
"y/n, please." Yunho sobbed as his vision began to blur from the uncontrollable hot tears. "Please, don't kill us. We swear we didn't mean to trespass. We escaped from HalaHala, but we got lost in the sea. We don't even know how many days had passed until we saw this island, and we thought this was our only hope." He took a deep breath. "Earlier, we were only searching for food. We deeply apologize. We'll do anything you say, we promise. Just please, spare our lives this once."
His voice was shaky, his breathing unsteady, and because of the past you shared with them, you knew he was a bad liar, but now, you weren't quite sure if he was telling the truth, and you definitely weren't ready to relive some of those shared memories. They could be sabotaging you and ruin all the things you've built up in the past six years. These were the people who made your past worth living when you had no one, yet even the closest people to you were the ones who betrayed you first.
You closed your eyes shut, not wanting to show them any weakness of yours. You hated it; you loathed to hear those words coming from their mouths. How can they beg to you like this? Their crew had attacked your kingdom, pirates tormented you for years, and your closest friends had betrayed you, but not once have you begged on your knees to them, asking to spare your life. It's ridiculous, but you were not a monster. You weren't meant to hurt a soul.
"Fine, I'll spare you this once as long as you all promise not to do anything wrong to my people and my island. We have eyes everywhere, and one wrong move, you're gone. Got that?" They all nodded in understanding. "I value trust here in this island, but once it is broken, I don't give any more chances. I expect none of you to fail me...again." You then left through the door where Seonghwa was waiting. "Bring them new clothes, serve them hot food and get rooms for them to stay, that's an order."
Seonghwa nodded his head in compliance. "Will do right away, captain. I will report back to you once they have settled."
You pursed your lips, "Thank you, Hwa. I'll look forward to it. Good night."
"Good night, y/n. Get some rest."
-
[ 9 years ago ]
"I will become the best captain of the seas and have the best crew like no other." Hongjoong placed one leg on top of a crate, looking over the horizon as the wind blew his hair back.
You hear Mingi yawn from beside you, "Is he talking about being a captain again?"
You hummed in response, still amused by Hongjoong's dramatic monologue. You wondered what those other two were doing. You turned to check behind you, and see San and Yunho having an intense dance battle in the middle of the main deck with a mini music player resting on top of a crate near them, though you weren't quite familiar with the kind of dance they were doing.
"What kind of dance is that? It's so fast, I've never seen anything like that before."
"It's called 'feeling the music,' darling." San sent a playful wink your way, causing you to get flustered by the sudden action.
Yunho, on the other hand, proceeded to make his way towards you, and you felt Mingi's arm around you tighten slightly. "Why don't you come teach us what you know about dancing? San and I will teach you what we know, too. How's that sound?"
That's how you found yourself teaching the two men how to ballroom dance, not to mention the number of times San had accidentally stepped on your foot. Yunho tried doing it with Mingi while you partnered with San, even though Mingi clearly wanted to be paired up with you.
But it didn't matter because at the end of the day, it was him who you watched all the sunsets with. Your head rested on his shoulder while you took in the sight of the sun setting over the horizon. You loved the peace at that moment; it was the only time you could get your mind off of things. It was nice, especially when the others would suddenly appear from behind you and join.
[ end. ]
Where did it all go wrong?
Two weeks had passed since Mingi, Yunho, San, and Hongjoong found their way onto the island. You stepped outside to the village to conduct your weekly checkup on the villagers and their resources, if changes and training were to be made or not, but everything seemed to be completely fine. Probably too 'fine' for your liking because how did San and Yunho both end up laughing at Seonghwa because his parrot hit him in the face, and why is Wooyoung trying to push Hongjoong towards the said quartermaster? Why the hell is Hongjoong blushing?! You were probably just seeing things after a tiring week, you tried to convince yourself.
The day after, you went to monitor Yunho, San, Mingi, and Hongjoong's training session led by Wooyoung, assisted by Jongho and Yeosang, while Seonghwa stood by as an aide. You, alongside the four men, observed and scrutinized the other four to see if they were to be trusted and qualified to be trained for battles.
In turn, they were unexpectedly obedient and cooperative in everything they were asked to do. Thus, trainings were arranged for them. You expected to see a group of men fighting using their weapons, dampened in sweat, and with determination in their eyes. Instead, the scene in front of you was nothing like you've imagined at all.
Seonghwa was busy wrapping a bandage around Hongjoong's wound on his arm caused by an accident earlier that day, eyes focused on securing it. His body moved closer and closer to Hongjoong in order to see clearly and steadily handle his wound, but the latter seemed to be flustered by the close proximity.
Hongjoong's eyes scanned over the sight of Seonghwa in his elegant clothing, the way his corset hugged his waist perfectly, the way his hair was tied neatly into a short ponytail, his eyes sharp yet soft, his hands ever so gentle on him, and how pink and plump his lips were; Hongjoong had to look away before he would lose his mind.
"You're all good." Seonghwa backed away once he finished aiding the wounded man, grabbing his kit to return to his station when Hongjoong stopped him.
"Hey, uhm..." Hongjoong's eyes were everywhere but on Seonghwa. "Thank you for making me feel better—I mean, for this." He motioned to his arm, where the bandage was in an instant. "Yeah...haha, for this, of course." He mentally cursed at himself for stammering like an idiot in front of the esteemed quartermaster, but he only let out a soft chuckle at his flustered expression.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that." Seonghwa gave him a reassuring smile before he made his way back to his station by the entrance of the room, where you had been standing for a while, enough to witness the whole scenario. The moment Seonghwa noticed your presence, he quickly greeted you. "Good morning, captain. How was your sleep?"
"It was alright."
"That's great—"
"Although, something has been bothering me these days." You sighed.
Seonghwa's full attention was now on you. "What is bothering you, captain?"
You gave him one brief glance before turning over to look at someone who was busy writing in his little notepad, "Seonghwa, is there something going on between you and Hongjoong?"
Your question made his eyes widen, flabbergasted. Je wasn't sure how to react to it. The truth was, he never really thought of Hongjoong in that way. Although he did find him quite cute and admirable at times like when he looked clumsy, he believed he shouldn't see him in any way other than as a normal civilian, especially not when he was one of the people who had betrayed you in the past.
Seonghwa would never betray your trust for temporary romantic desires; he promised to serve you with his life. "Me and Hongjoong?" Seonghwa turned to see where Hongjoong was at, and when the two coincidentally made eye contact, Seonghwa avoided his gaze in embarrassment. "Oh no, definitely not, captain. He and I strictly share a professional relationship."
You nodded, though not completely convinced. Afterwards, your eyes landed on another pair of men on the other side of the room. "How about those two over there? Do you think they have a professional relationship?"
Seonghwa followed the direction where your eyes focused and found both Wooyoung and San in a serious conversation. Wooyoung appeared to be scolding San, pointing towards different parts of his body, his mouth rambling continuously as San stood there in silence with his hands behind his back, taking in every word his trainer was telling him. Looks completely normal. Nothing to worry about, right?
San nodded once more at Wooyoung when the latter patted his shoulder stiffly, only for Wooyoung's fingers to ever-so-slightly caress San's cheek as their eyes remained glued on each other. San then brought his hand up to take hold of Wooyoung's, guiding it to rest it on his cheek, and the two exchanged looks of contentment, not to mention how San's ears instantly turned red afterwards.
Wooyoung usually had the tendency to be affectionate towards people he was close to and those he wanted to befriend, but you didn't expect him to reach this level of affection with San, a supposed enemy whom he just met two weeks prior.
Both you and Seonghwa were completely stunned by the interesting scene. Not believing what you had just witnessed a few seconds ago, you both slowly turned to face one another with the same expression. "I guess not, captain. I guess not."
It wasn't that you were opposed to the idea of them having that kind of relationship, since you were close enough with the two to know that they only befriend people who are genuine and share the same principles as them. Wooyoung was best at assessing and deducing people and even exceptional at manipulating them for good reasons, of course, whereas San was highly observant of those around him.
You could only hope that all this wouldn't change anything among the crew; you wouldn't let the same mistake of trusting these former HalaHala crewmates happen to your own crew as well. You were sure to keep a better eye on them.
-
Together with the Blue Bird crew, you had just successfully finished trading goods with the local merchants of Answer Island. Once every two weeks, you sail with the crew to other islands to trade various goods—enough for the villagers of New World.
While this was Yunho, San, Hongjoong, and Mingi's first trade as official members of the crew, you were being vigilant over their words and actions throughout the whole operation. They were considered new faces in your team; one wrong move can ruin the whole crew's reputation straight away. You weren't going to risk anything.
"Where did you get this?" You snatched the pouch bag from Hongjoong's hand, eyeing the shiny red jewels inside suspiciously. "I don't remember telling you to trade our goods for this." A displeased glower was shown on your face, clearly disgruntled at the situation. You had informed the crew beforehand about the list of items they must trade with the locals, including silver and gold coins, clothing, materials for building, and other things you needed for the island. You always made it certain that every trading would be done with integrity, verifying the crew's compliance; consequently, you weren't going to tolerate any ill-gotten trades from anyone. "Explain before I return this back to them."
Hongjoong was caught off guard at the sudden raise of your voice, immeditarly explaining himself to you before matters would escalate further. "Apologies, captain. One of the merchants is someone I'm acquainted with, a close friend of Bumjoong, my older brother, before he was killed. The man remembered who I was, and I tried to politely reject his offer of giving me those jewels, but he was persistent, and I couldn't say 'no.' I'm sorry for causing you any inconvenience."
A part of you was convinced by his explanation, while some parts were still skeptical about it. You still found it difficult to trust them, and your distrust was completely valid and undebatable. Hongjoong did grow up with pirates; thus, raiding for loot was a normal practice in his world. You, on the other hand, didn't. You weren't a pirate; that was as clear as day. Hence, you would never rob a single thing that wasn't yours. There were no exceptions in Blue Bird.
"I don't know if I should believe you. I really do not want to if you ask me." Hongjoong remained silent, making you pinch the bridge of your nose, left with no other option but to let him off the hook. To be fair, you haven't heard any complaints or reports from the merchants and the other crewmates, so maybe it was truly a misunderstanding on your end. "Fine, keep it as long as I do not hear a single complaint about the crew." You tossed the pouch bag back to Hongjoong, which he caught sloppily. "We're not merely here for fortune. We are here to trade and give back to the people. If you wish to satisfy your selfish desires, make sure to leave me and New World out of it, but remember, greed will get you killed."
Hongjoong nodded in understanding, taking mental notes from the conversation you had with him a moment ago. He found you formidable whenever you asserted authority and control over the crew, and he acknowledged it with no objection.
You walked past him heading towards Yeosang and Jongho, who stood by the main deck, preparing to sail back to the New World after a long day of trading in Answer Island. "Jongho, go over all the items inside the chests, and secure them down in the hold. Wooyoung, be on the lookout for tonight. We have to be extra cautious and alert this time; we shouldn't be too complacent." You motioned for Seonghwa and Yeosang, who is Blue Bird's notable navigator, to follow you to the Great Cabin, where the three of you will plan on your next journey in a few days.
You'll never know who will betray your trust.
-
"Woah, you're pretty strong." Yunho panted as he tried to escape from your arms that were currently wrapped around his neck with force. "I'm impressed."
You exerted a bit more force around his neck, almost choking the air out of him. "Not the time for compliments, Yunho. Stay focused."
Today, you were in charge of personally training the four new crewmates, which they totally didn't expect to happen. The training center, surrounded by equipment, weapons, and safety gear, was quickly filled with intense pressure as the four men witnessed you easily knock Yeosang, one of the strongest in Blue Bird, down in just seconds. If they think Yeosang and Jongho were unbeatable, they will be proven wrong by the end of this training session. It wasn't entirely in the muscles or strength you had, being strategic, calculative, and clever were a must.
Yunho continued to struggle against your tight hold until he was finally able to escape from you. He tried to throw you down on the safety mat, but you were faster in kicking his knees from behind, causing him to fall flat on his face with a grunt. You shook your head in dissatisfaction at his performance catching your breath as today's session with him has ended.
"And here I thought you had fast reflexes; I didn't see much of it today." You stayed in place looking down on Yunho, leaving him on the ground. "Get up. Go sit by the bench; I'll get back to you later." Yunho didn't waste any second to get back on his feet and sat down on the bench, where the others were waiting.
It was then San's turn to train with you. You already had certain moves planned beforehand to execute based on each of their specialties and strong points to see which techniques were best to use and where they may improve. As soon as he settled in front of you on the safety mat, you started tackling him, holding his arms down to limit his movements. However, San was also quick to respond to your sudden actions by squirming a bit before extending his arms to have leverage against your grip.
"Not bad, but not the best move either. Squirming can take a bit of your energy away, which allows the opponent to take advantage of those few seconds. Every second matters, take note of that."
You pulled away from his body to prepare yourself for another move, but before you could do so, San asked you a question. "Sorry to ask this in the middle of training, y/n, but this has been on my mind lately. I'm not, in any way, invalidating your feelings, but with how things had been going the past week, I really wanted to ask if you...trust us? I mean, we are now a part of your crew, but like, do you trust us in a deeper sense?" San had been meaning to ask you that question since he'd started noticing your stern treatment towards them.
Trust? How can he say that word so casually after what happened to you in the past? Does he think trusting people who had immensely hurt you before is easy? Trusting is a sacrifice, and sacrificing meant risking your life. You may have given them a second chance to live and rise back up, but that didn't mean things would go back to how they used to be.
"Show me excellent results, and I might reconsider."
With that, San and the other men were hellbent on gaining your trust back by showing how much they improved and how superbly they fought against the pirates, who had tried to invade the island. Those pirates were from the Outlaw crew, and they were known to be well-equipped and strategic when it came to battles, yet your crew, especially with San, Hongjoong, Yunho, and Mingi added to team, easily defeated them without a challenge.
You hate to admit it, but their performance was undeniably impressive. It was clear that they were motivated to achieve their goal, and that called for a feast to celebrate another successful and well-fought battle.
"Cheers to another Blue Bird victory!"
The feast was held outdoors in the village square, where everyone gathered together. The village square had a fountain in the center with benches on the side and even a gazebo nearby. Wooyoung led the celebration with a beer in hand and a foot on the table. Everyone joined in raising their own glasses up in the air and cheered enthusiastically, followed by the crew exchanging words of gratitude. This had been a tradition among the people since the crew's first victory a few years ago, even before Seonghwa and the others had arrived here.
The night went on with a crowd filled with laughter and tears of joy, especially San, who sobbed quietly on Yunho's shoulder. You silently watched on the side, admiring the scene in front of you, not really wanting to engage in any long conversations after a tiring day. You weren't one to stay long on nights like this, but you wanted to stay longer tonight for a change. San, Yunho, and Hongjoong had flooded you with words of gratitude for all the help and training you gave to them and how it was all worth it in the end. You didn't hesitate to return the gesture because now, you trusted them a bit more than before. They have proven their skills to you, and it resulted in another victory.
Seeing this, Mingi was eager to talk to you as well. He contemplated if tonight was the right time to explain himself to you personally and to make things right once and for all, so the moment he followed you back to your tower after the celebration, he was more than ready to confess to you the whole story from beginning to end, whether you'd believe him or not, and he was prepared for the consequences he'll get.
"y/n...please." Mingi tried to catch up to you from behind as you continued to make your way inside your tower, where you stayed. The tower was big enough for you with simple modern designs, and it wasn't too visible from the outside to keep your location hidden from intruders or outsiders, since your tower had important documents and fortune you needed to keep as safe as possible. You didn't even let him in, nor was he welcomed inside. Nonetheless, he found himself inside the place with one goal: to explain everything to you.
You tried your best to ignore his pleas, passing them from one ear to the other, and pretending that he wasn't there at all. Even so, he wouldn't give up that easily. He couldn't bear the idea of you hating him without knowing the truth behind his actions. He followed you upstairs to your living room, forgetting that he was basically trespassing in your tower; he only had his eyes set on you, after all.
You moved to the kitchen to get yourself a cup of tea, as you always do every night, without bothering to look at him. "What do you not understand about leaving me alone?" you asked. You could almost feel the desperation in his eyes as they watched you.
"Let's talk."
Unthinkingly, you slammed your hand on the counter out of vexation. He just doesn't get it, does he? "No, Mingi. Let's not talk, okay? First, you leave me behind to my death, then you trespass in my home, and now that I gave you a place to stay, you are being as stubborn as ever. Just because I did that doesn't mean we're good to fix things. Staying away from me is the least you can do, or would you rather have me throw you out instead?"
"No, it's not that. Please, let me explain everything to you. You deserve to know the truth."
You heaved a drained sigh, looking out the big window that overlooked the village, watching the villagers going by to end their night. "I don't even know if I should keep you on the team."
Mingi knew that; he'd expect you to tell him off even from the very start. "I know, y/n. I don't deserve any of this, but there is something I didn't tell you about my mother."
The mention of his mother bemused you. She took you in when she could've ended your life together with your parents, and if it wasn't for her, you wouldn't have survived this long and be where you are right now. You had no idea what secret he was keeping from you, but what he revealed next made your heart drop.
"She was trying to kill you, okay?"
What? It cannot be. You turned to look at him with widened eyes, staring in utter disbelief. "What do you mean she was trying to kill me? She wouldn't—"
"She was planning to kill you, so she made up rumors about you only wanting my fortune to drive me to kill you first, but you know I wouldn't. I didn't want to, and the only choice I had for you to stay alive was to leave you behind. That's why I did what I did back then. I'm really sorry for not telling you, y/n."
Mingi finally spilled the truth you needed to hear from him. He stood in there in pure guilt, seeing the way your lips quivered in denial and the way your eyes were fighting back the tears that were threatening to escape. He acknowledged that it may all be too much to believe and too overwhelming for you to take in, but he really needed to let you know as soon as possible. You just weren't prepared for it.
"Why..."
[ flashback ]
"What?!" Mingi exclaimed as his mother continued to wipe her weapons clean without a care. "y/n doesn't want my fortune; why would you say that?""
His mother apathetically shrugged. "I don't know about you, Mingi. Maybe you're too blinded by her beauty or whatever, but she's clearly only sticking close to you because she knows you're my son and you have a fortune under your name."
Mingi doesn't apprehend where all these rumors about you being a fortune hunter were coming from; nevertheless, he hated hearing about it. He had just shared a sweet intimate kiss with you an hour ago, and he was so sure that you didn't like him solely for his fortune. You had never mentioned that to him; what you usually shared with him was simply about your love for sunsets and reading. A girl with big dreams; that was the 'y/n' he knew so well.
"You must have forgotten, Mingi. That girl came from royalty, wealth, and big castles. It's in her nature to want fortune because that's how they live; they breathe money. I only kept her because I thought we'd get access to other kingdoms using her connections, but she's just a useless little girl with nothing but a pretty face."
"Do not speak about her in that way," Mingi argued, jaw clenching, clearly infuriated. "I'm not going to kill her, mother."
Amused by Mingi's courage, his mother sneered at him. "Really?" She walked up towards him in slow, intimidating steps and with a sinister look, grabbing his chin. "You know exactly what would happen when you don't do it. Would you rather want that?"
Mingi loathed everything about the situation. He abhorred having to choose between the people he loved, but he knew that lives were at stake; thus, he needed to make a decision he would regret. Either way, regret will still eat him up, and he'll never forgive himself for it. If it were a choice to just kill his own mother instead, he would, but he wasn't a selfish monster like her.
"Do it before the sun rises."
Those were his mother's last words to him before he finally executed his nightmare of a plan, which he believed was the best choice at the moment. He felt his heart sink and his head grew dizzy at the sight in front of him: the love of his life, an innocent young lady with tears running down her face and broken eyes staring into him with so much pain and betrayal.
He brought you out to the back of the ship late at dawn just before the sunrise came, and you knew where it was going. You didn't have words to say anything or ask him what was going on; still, you had already expected this day to come. A princess like you knew that loving a pirate was a sin, yet you decided to trust and love Mingi when you shouldn't. This was a consequence of your actions.
He tossed to you your almost worn-out bag where your books were kept before carrying you back to the main deck and casting you down as gently as he could into the water, making sure you were not to drown easily because he knew you weren't a swimmer at best, unlike him and his friends.
"Mingi? No...NO!" Your screams of terror sounded like someone had stabbed his heart multiple times, sounds that would haunt him forever.
"I'm so sorry, y/n." Those were the last words he told you before he regretfully walked away from the scene, afraid to see what he had just done. He didn't turn back. He wanted to see you one last time, but it hurt him too much to do it. "This is all just a dream; I'll live." But it wasn't. It was reality no matter how much he denies the truth.
[ end. ]
"That day, I wanted to kill myself, to kill my mother, to end it all. It took me and my brothers years to escape from my mother, so when she passed away, my stepsister immediately took over the ship, and we left before she could catch us. We genuinely didn't expect to end up in this place; we didn't even know this island existed." Mingi tried to step closer towards you, only for you to turn your body away from him, giving him a sign that he should keep his distance. "I'm really sorry if I had to hide this from you; I knew you cared about my mother. I made a stupid mistake, one that I know I absolutely will not make again."
The truth was unconscionably cruel after that painful revelation about his mother, who had taken you in and provided you with a second home. Even though she, your supposed 'killer,' was no longer in your life, the sorrow and anguish remained very much there in your heart. For years, you blamed Mingi for everything, when his mother was the one responsible for your near-death experience. It hurt all over again.
"I see."
A joyful feast with the crew ended in a painful revelation, which you cannot let go of easily.
Since that heated exchange with Mingi three nights ago, you couldn't sleep much at all. It's been days since you started avoiding him unless it's for necessary means, fearful that past memories would make their way back into your mind. You detested him for what he did, and you despised him even more for keeping it a secret from you. The crew had noticed your indifference towards Mingi, but you couldn't care less if they noticed. All you cared about was treating him like he was nonexistent.
In order to block out the thoughts and emotions, you took refuge in your tower. Meanwhile, Mingi was taking a leisurely stroll along the shore to get his mind off of things. He kicked small rocks away as he dragged his boots on the sand, appreciating the sensation of the wind against his face. He walked along the shore for a few minutes before finding a log to sit on and rest his legs.
He felt that he was gradually getting better at the time, but it was short-lived when he caught sight of a familiar silhouette in the distance. The closer it came into view, the clearer it became to Mingi. Alarmed, Mingi hurried back to the headquarters, entering straight into Jongho's office, where he was found playing with his guitar.
"Woah, man. Relax—"
"HalaHala is here, call 'emergency lockdown' now!"
The moment Jongho heard the name everyone feared the most, he automatically pressed the red button on his desk in less than a second. Sirens rang around the area and the residential zones, signaling a need for lockdown. Traps were activated, and all crewmates promptly moved to prepare for battle.
"Pirates are coming. The day we all feared has come...HalaHala has found us," Jongho announced to the intercom, voice stern with a hint of fear in it. "Ready yourselves as we've practiced; let's end this once and for all even if it costs our lives...this is all for you, captain." With that being said, Jongho ran out to prepare himself for the most awaited war of his life.
Your heart dropped to the bottom of your stomach when you heard Jongho's call over the intercom. Because of their own horrific experiences with HalaHala, everyone dreaded this day, but to you, it was like going through hell again. Like the day when your kingdom was totally destroyed, this day was life or death for you.
"Fuck! Why now of all times?" you cursed to yourself as you got dressed, grabbing all your needed weapons. You stride towards a hidden room in your tower, where your most valuable possessions, secrets, and important documents were kept safe. In it was a family picture that was found on one of the books you had brought from the kingdom: your mother and father sitting on the luxurious couch with a tiny you in the middle. "This fight is for you, mom and dad. If I die, I must die a hero, as I have worked hard to become," before exiting the tower through an emergency shortcut.
Everything you had went through, building this island and training your people to become who they are now—all these happened because of those heartless pirates. You weren't going to fail New World, Blue Bird, or yourself, especially not your parents and the kingdom. This battle was for each one of them, all to avenge the people you loved with your life.
Arriving at the headquarters, you headed to your usual spot with Seonghwa and his team. Your heart raced immensely from the thought of seeing HalaHala again more than a decade after being thrown out from their ship, past memories flashing back to haunt you.
"Don't be afraid, captain. We know this battle means everything to you, so we will fight with our lives to make sure we win this." Seonghwa pulled you in to reassure you. "You got this, y/n. You always do."
You weren't in your right mind the past week from Mingi's sudden revelation, and now, this. It was too much for you to process, but winning this battle meant bringing justice to your kingdom and peace to your soul. You must win this.
-
Mingi and the rest of Blue Bird hid quietly as the HalaHala pirates jumped off the ship to the shore, carrying weapons with them. One of the enemies had stepped on a dried leaf, triggering a trap. The rest of HalaHala pulled out their cutlasses and pistols, ready to shoot, but stopped when the captain of HalaHala got down from the ship, and signaled for the crew not to make a move yet.
Mina, the captain of HalaHala and Mingi's stepsister, scanned the surroundings intently for anything suspicious. There hadn't been any movement found, but with her keen sight, she narrowed her eyes towards a certain bush, where she noticed a gun pointing in her direction. Instead of feeling terrified, she only smirked amusingly. "This might be fun." She cracked her knuckles before grabbing her pistol from her pocket carry. "Start shooting!" With her signal, HalaHala started shooting towards the bushes where Mingi and the others were hiding behind.
They quickly ducked to dodge the bullets, and once it died down a bit, they started shooting them back with no hesitation. Wooyoung led his team out first, as he was Blue Bird's best gunner, and his flexible body was an advantage for him to avoid bullets coming his way. Mingi, who was the second-best gunner, followed suit with Yunho, San, and Hongjoong. You and Seonghwa's team followed behind to attack before the HalaHala crew reached further into the island where the villagers hid.
You pulled out your pistol and started shooting at them with everything you got like it was the last battle you were going to have because even when you had a tough and capable crew on your side, HalaHala was still one of the strongest crews in the pirate world. You had great momentum; you thought you were doing so well, but your mind was not one hundred percent in the battle since, as much as you hated thinking about it, you were killing people who you recognized well from your past.
Like a bolt from the blue, you felt a strong object hit you in the back of your head, making you almost lose your balance. You were rubbing your head to soothe the pain when a man tried to stab you with a cutlass from the side, so you quickly moved back to avoid the hit, but the sharp object still made contact with your skin. The pain from your head made you move a second too late, and now you were on the ground trying to cover the fresh cut on the side of your body to prevent more blood from coming out.
You couldn't move, you felt weak, and you thought you were going to die. This might be it; this might be your last battle. You watched as the man approached you with a cutlass just seconds away from ending your life, so you shut your eyes tight, ready to accept your fate, only for the man to fall to the ground beside you lifeless. To your surprise, you were met with a fuming Mingi who had his sword stabbed through the man's body.
Mingi had kept his eye on you from the side a few minutes ago, but the moment he found you in pain on the ground, he saw red, and in an instant, he ran up to you. He wasn't going to let you die, not like this, not during your most important battle. After killing the man, he stared into your dazed eyes. The look you gave him made him think that it was those same eyes from when you saw your parents getting killed by his mother—frightened. He hated seeing that look in your eyes, and he'd do everything to take away that feeling off your chest.
Conveniently, Mingi recognized one of Seonghwa's teammates nearby. "Hunter, bring y/n to the clinic and aid her. She's hurt," he ordered without leaving his sight on you. Mingi's gaze followed you as Hunter carried you away from the area, all while you watched as Mingi's figure slowly faded into the distance.
Mingi made heavy steps towards the HalaHala ship, sneaking inside through the entrance, and advanced to the forecastle deck, where he found his stepsister observing the battle that unfolded on the shore from a distance, her back facing him.
"Funny seeing you here, Mingi." Mina started, adjusting her sash that was wrapped around her waist. "Never expected you to still be alive after disappearing with your friends, and neither did I expect that princess to be here too. Thought you killed her already; I guess you decided to be a 'hero' of some sort."
Mingi took this chance to grab the gear and steer the ship away from the island. He intended to fight her alone without anyone to intervene, especially not you: a battle between two siblings who see each other as nothing but sworn enemies. In no time, HalaHala had finally been defeated by Blue Bird after putting all their blood, sweat, and tears into the fight. Few of the crewmates had sacrificed their lives for victory; some were injured, while the rest remained in good condition.
Once the island was cleared of the enemies, Seonghwa ordered his team to aid the injured men and to prepare a proper burial for those who didn't make it. Everyone cleared the area as they made their way back to the headquarters except for Wooyoung, who stayed back to watch HalaHala's ship sail away from the island. He knew the battle wasn't over yet. "I trust you, Mingi. Come back alive."
-
Mina laughed at the situation in ironic amusement, finally turning to face Mingi. It was just the two of them on the ship, yet it felt like Mingi was surrounded by a hundred men at once.
"If you want to kill her, you have to kill me first." Mingi glared at her intensely, but Mina remained unfazed, not intimidated one bit.
Instead, she leaned back offhandedly on the edge of the ship, which irked Mingi even further. "Oh, what's this? Am I in some kind of romance novel?" She shook her head, emitting a sardonic laugh at the ridiculous thought. "Don't make me laugh, Mingi. Love does not exist in this world; it's all made up in the head. People feel attracted, have kids, then kill each other with no regrets; that's the cycle of life." Mina grinned at his lack of reaction. "Face it, that's the reality. We are not in some sort of fairytale bullshit you think you are in; we live to kill and kill to live, which means..." She took out her sword, sunlight reflecting on the blade landing on Mingi. "Only one of us gets to live, and that's going to be me."
'Love does not exist in this world,' that's what Mina believed, but your island was different. It was full of love, and Mingi realized that 'love' does in fact exist in many forms and is expressed in many ways. In your world, it was present and alive. New World was established because you had so much love for the people that you took the initiative to build it. If you didn't have love, the New World now wouldn't even exist at all. Mingi was seethed in rage, whereas his stepsister stayed unbothered, smirking at him without a care in the world.
"Come on, fight me." She challenged him, and consequently, he took out his sword.
"It may not exist in your world, but it does in mine." With that, Mingi charged towards her, attacking with his sword, which she easily blocked. "You won't see tomorrow, Mina."
As the ship sailed farther and farther out into the ocean, Mingi and Mina indulged in a heated sword fight on the main deck. As powerful as Mingi was, Mina was just as mighty despite having a smaller frame than him. He had been on the verge of being struck by her sword several times, and she was no exception. They both went back and forth striking each other, growing frustrated as minutes went by.
Mingi dodged her swift attack. He pushed her knees forward from behind, causing her to stumble on the ground, so he took this chance to plunge the sword into her neck. However, she was quicker to dodge it and get back on her feet. This time, it was him who got cornered by Mina, giving her the upper hand. She brought her sword near his neck, and when he tried to dodge it again, his cheek was scratched a bit by the sharp blade, making him hiss at the pain.
Mingi sprinted towards the other end of the ship and briskly pulled out his gun from his pocket carry. He didn't want to use his gun, saving it as it only had one bullet left. Nevertheless, he pointed the weapon at her with an unsteady grip. "All this time, I thought mother was evil enough. I thought I could still rely on you as family, but you killed her with poison. You killed your own blood with no remorse. You're a monster, Mina. You don't deserve to live, and I too will have no remorse when I kill you. See you in hell!" He knew he wasn't going to make the shot with how his hands trembled as Mina approached him, and he had no choice but to try his best. It was his last chance; it was now or never.
Mingi was seconds away from pulling the trigger when a sudden wave hit the ship, causing her to stumble back and hit her head on a crate. While she struggled to get back up, he took the chance to shoot her with the last bullet he had. He glowered down at her as she gaped at him, her hand covering her chest where he had perfectly shot. With one last look, her body collapsed on the ground.
Mingi slumped down on the floor across from her, all worn out and in pain. He grunted when he felt his cheek sting from the hit earlier, his hands stained with a bit of blood. If it wasn't for that miraculous wave, he wouldn't have successfully shot her, and if it wasn't for him, you would've died. All he could do atwas stare at his stepsister's lifeless body and think about how you were doing back at the island.
"We did it, y/n. It's all over now."
Mingi was about to pass out when he heard a faint sound nearby. He stood up sluggishly and saw the Blue Bird ship come into view with Hongjoong, who sailed the ship, together with Wooyoung and Yunho. Hongjoong brought the ship closer to HalaHala's ship, where Mingi was currently on, and Wooyoung called for the latter to come to them.
"Get in here, big guy. We're taking you home."
Home. Mingi never really thought of New World as his home. He believed he didn't have the right to call it that because it was yours, and he didn't deserve to live in it. You only made him stay out of pity, perhaps; he wasn't quite sure. But maybe one day, he'll finally consider it to be one.
-
Wooyoung and Yunho rushed Mingi to the clinic to aid the wound on his cheek. Inside the building, he saw you lying down on a bed with a bandage around your head, body, and hands where you had been hit earlier during the fight. You were trying to ease the pain in your head and body alongside one of the nurses assisting you and telling you not to move around too much. Mingi stared at you concerned from his bed situated across the room.
He was about to make his way to you, but Seonghwa pulled him back and forced him to sit on the bed so he could help dress the wound on his face. While Seonghwa busied himself on Mingi's cheek, the latter's gaze never left you. He was hurt himself, yet he was more worried about your current state. As a pirate, he never really cared about people getting hurt, but he hated seeing you in pain.
"I'm going home," you informed the nurse, standing up from the bed and gathering your weapons from the nearby table ready to leave.
"Stay still, we're almost—H-hey! Where are you going?" Seonghwa called for Mingi, who got out of the bed to follow you. "Mingi!" The man disregarded Seonghwa's calls, intent on speaking with you. You could hear his footsteps following behind, but you didn't dare look back.
"y/n." You heard him call the first time.
"y/n." the second time.
"y/n." And the third, his voice gradually raising with each call of your name.
Upon arriving at the entrance of your tower, Mingi had reached for your arm to stop your movements. You retracted your arm from his grasp, proceeding to walk inside your tower. Footsteps continued to follow yours, but still you were adamant, and so was he.
"y/n, stop. You're hurt right now, seriously. You're going to make it worse if you keep moving—"
"Stop!" You had enough. "Stop jumping in whenever you think I need saving because I don't. I don't need anyone defending me, I don't need any of your help, and I don't need you." You enunciated every word to make it clear to him how you felt.
"You could've died!"
"I almost died once because of you!" You spun around to meet his eyes. Your voice pierced into his ears, but the silence that followed it was louder. Subsequently, the room fell uncomfortably silent. You could tell Mingi was drowning in guilt, and he could tell that you were still deeply wounded by what he did. Seeing no reaction from him, you decided to step back to get to your room and rest. However, a few steps in, you staggered from the sudden pain you felt on your head. You held the wall for support, slowly sliding your body down, and kneeling on the floor to ease the pain.
Mingi instinctively reached forward to help you, but you stopped him. "Move an inch closer and I will—" Your words were cut when your head started hurting again, groaning at the throbbing ache. "This is all your fault." You started with a hushed voice, "I shouldn't have befriended you, I shouldn't have trusted a dirty lying pirate, and I should have listened to everyone's warnings. All this wouldn't have happened if I had never met you."
War was finally over. HalaHala no longer existed, which was your ultimate goal since the very beginning of New World and Blue Bird. That was what you wanted, and it was made possible through Mingi's courage, service, and trust. Albeit, you weren't completely satisfied, as it wasn't you who killed their captain. Your emotions got the best of you because you weren't the hero in this battle; Mingi was, but you didn't want to believe it.
Mingi resisted the urge to come closer to you and hold onto you so badly; his arms were yearning to feel you. Still, he respected you and your space. Even when it felt unfair for him that you thought of it that way, knowing that it was him who killed the captain of HalaHala, his stepsister at that, and the pirates who killed your loved ones, the crew he once was a part of, and the enemies who were once his family. He never tried to invalidate the trauma he had caused you before, but did you ever think about how he also felt about it?
You got back up as best as you could. "You made me feel heaven only to drag me to hell." With a resentful huff, you continued, "How I wish to give twice as much of hell back to you. But, I'm not a monster...and neither am I a pirate. I am a princess, and I should never hurt a soul." You looked into his eyes one last time. "Do pirates like you even have souls?"
"y/n..."
In just the perfect timing, a few Blue Bird members busted into the main door, all with worried expressions on their faces. Their movements came to a halt when they took in the sight of Mingi standing stiffly near you, and sensed the heavy and tense atmosphere between you and him.
You turned back to look out the window. "Everyone, go home. Tomorrow's another day."
The crewmates, who stood by the door, nodded in acknowledgment, exiting the tower right away. Wooyoung pulled Mingi by the shoulders, whose gaze lingered on your back, and dragged him out of the door, not wanting him to cause any more scenes. The room fell silent, this time in a consolation, after the door closed shut, and you let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding.
Just when you thought you were finally alone, you hear a deep but soft voice speak to you from behind. "My apologies for staying, captain, but Madame Rose requested for me to pass this medicine for you; I'll leave it by the kitchen table, so you wouldn't forget to take it." Seonghwa entered the kitchen to place the medicine down on the counter. "Proper burial for our lost brothers and sisters has been arranged for tomorrow, and the people have also offered prayers for your fast recovery."
You hummed in response, "I'm glad."
Seonghwa saw you still standing by the window, understanding the pain in your voice when you responded. He sensed that you were hurting not only physically but also emotionally, and that you were bothered about something serious even when you didn't need to be. He knew you too well to notice it in an instant. With careful steps, he came up to you from behind. "They're all gone now, y/n. Those monsters will no longer be a threat in your life, and I'm sure everyone you've lost up there is so proud of their little girl for her bravery." He spoke with a voice so soft like a feather, the voice of someone who had treated you so well, like his own sister.
"No...why would they? I fell weak, I wasn't strong enough, and I wasn't the one who killed them, so why would they be proud of me?"
Seonghwa pulled you in a comforting embrace, cautious not to hurt you. "You survived hell twice; I'm sure even hell itself fears you." His long, elegant fingers rubbed gentle strokes along your back. "You don't always have to be the strongest, you know. You trained us not only to protect the people from danger, but you also trained us so that we can catch you when you fall, but falling isn't a weakness. That's what makes you human; we all are."
He felt you tightening your arms around him, burying your face on his chest, and he let you do so. "I know you hate to show any sign of weakness to us, and you want to be as perfect and strong as possible. I understand that, but y/n..." He lifted your head up with his thumb and index finger, revealing to him your now tear-stained cheeks, which he softly wiped away with his fingers. "You don't have to be too hard on yourself this time; you don't need to be afraid of being imperfect. You have us now; we can protect you, and you can go back to being the little princess that you once were before. I'm sure that little girl misses you a lot." He felt his shirt dampen from your tears, but that was the least of his concerns right now. "Please don't hesitate to call me when you need someone to rely on; I will wholeheartedly serve you with my life just as you have served us with yours. You gave us a second chance in life too, y/n, so allow us to give life back to you. We owe you this much."
This may not be the utopia you tried to build from the ground up, the paradise you yearned for, nor the life you wanted to live, but all this—the island, the people, the crew, the new beginnings—was definitely your treasure.
"Thank you, Hwa. I needed to hear that."
A week had passed since the battle with HalaHala. Adjusting your sash and pocket carry, you prepared yourself to go about your day. Damages from the previous event were fixed, and everything seemed to be back to normal. You roamed around the village to check on the villagers and their current supplies of goods after not being able to check on them for a week due to your injuries. The villagers greeted you as you passed by them, and you informed them that you had already fully recovered, to which they rejoiced, "The princess is back!"
Out of the blue, you felt a pair of arms trap your body in a tight hug. "Captain! I missed you so much; I was so worried about you." It's been a week since Wooyoung last saw you, but to him, it felt like years. He was accustomed to seeing your face and being around you each day of the week. He grew anxious as he waited for you to be back, knowing that it was the first time you had been severely injured during a fight. He thanked the heavens that you were now here, all strong and healthy in front of him.
"Stop crying like a baby, Woo. I'm not going to die." You patted his back reassuringly.
"I was just scared, okay? I don't want to lose you; that should never happen."
His words made you smile for the first time that day, "Thank you for worrying; I really appreciate it."
The day ended like how it usually ends: monitoring the island, then having dinner with the crew before dispersing to your respective homes. You thought you'd go by your night peacefully without having to cross paths with Mingi even for a split second of your day. To your relief, you haven't seen him at all today, but he had seen you through the window of his sleeping quarters.
Walking up to your tower, you heard those same familiar footsteps behind you. You heard it multiple times that you could easily identify whose footsteps it belonged to without needing to check who the owner was. "Stop doing this, Mingi. Don't make this difficult for any of us because I don't have the energy to talk to you right now." You went straight to the kitchen to grab yourself a cup of tea.
You didn't expect Mingi to do anything tonight except to simply talk, but even that, you don't want to have with him. You heard no response from him whatsoever, and it wasn't that you were expecting him to say a word, but he was oddly silent right now. No words, just the sound of gentle breathing.
"Say something—"
You were cut off by the sudden feeling of arms wrapped around your waist from behind and a head resting on your shoulder, breath fanning your neck. "I'm so sorry, y/n." Finally, you let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding after hearing his voice. You weren't sure if it was out of defeat or a breath of relief. "I know I've been stubborn with you all this time, but I just...I missed you so much, I miss this, I miss us, and the feeling of all of you. I feel like I'll die if I don't get to show you and tell you how I truly feel." You remained silent in his hold. "I think we're always going to end up finding our way back to each other."
"Don't say that." You tried to stop him, but he didn't listen. He was adamant about telling you the words he's been dying to let you know after all these years of suffering, even if it meant this was the last time.
"When the boys and I escaped from the ship, I then realized how terrible it felt to be lost in the sea and how difficult it must have been for you. You fought death alone; I didn't, and that's what kills me. It's so unfair, yet the tides brought me here of all places when it could've just taken me alive; it led me back to you instead. It must've meant something."
Under your breath, you answered lightly, scared that your voice might break. "That's what I'm so afraid of; I'm afraid it would mean something because I really don't want to relive the past. I'm trying to live a completely new life away from you."
"But I'm also terrified of losing you again." Mingi's hold tightened around your body, haunted by the thought that you'd slip away once more if he let you go. "As selfish as it sounds, I miss you so fucking much, y/n. You have no idea how much I wanted to jump off that ship and swim up to you and tell you how your existence made me feel so alive. Hell, I'd drown for you if I had to."
"But, you didn't."
"I didn't because fear was eating me up. I was so afraid that I'd lose not only you but also my brothers if I tried to save you. I had to make the toughest and most painful decision in my life; I just couldn't afford to lose them whom I've spent the entirety of my life with. I had to live for them, but I wanted to kill myself even more when I found out that my mother was the one who killed your parents back in your kingdom."
The mention of your parents made your stomach twist, "You lost everything and all the people you loved, you didn't deserve to experience any of that nightmare as a child. I could only pray every night for the gods to just take my life instead, and bring you to safety; that was all I ever wanted since then." You felt him shift behind you to press a kiss on your shoulder, and to his surprise, you allowed him making him smile appreciatively. "Whenever I look at you, I always tell the gods how much I don't deserve to even walk the ground that you walk and breathe the air that you breathe. I was ready to die for you and lose my life twice, thrice, multiple times as much as you had because I owe you that. I wanted you to kill me, watch me die in your arms, and take my whole life away like how I took a part of yours...but you didn't, and I always wondered why."
"Mingi..."
"Why did you let me go? Why did you give me a second chance in life, give me everything I needed when I didn't deserve any of it from you at all? Why are you so...forgiving? It worries me too much."
You tried to control the tears that were eager to escape from your eyes. "I'm not." You didn't mean to cry; you hated losing your composure, breaking down, and feeling weak, especially not in front of Mingi of all people.
He could only give a wistful smile at you. "You're not pushing me away; you're here listening to the man whom you said was a liar, a traitor, and the person who almost killed you. If I were to make my last wish, I would wish for you to grab your sword and pierce it through my body as you let all your anger, frustration, and pain out on me. I'd happily die in your arms and be grateful for it, and I'll say it over and over again until you do."
"Stop! Enough." You had enough of listening to his heart-wrenching and painfully honest words; your heart couldn't take it anymore. Rather than blaming you for your treatment towards him, he was throwing his hurtful words towards himself.
"I don't think I can ever move on from you, y/n. You're the only person for me, the only woman my heart beats for, and the one who made my life worthwhile, but...my sick world was never yours to live in, and your world was never meant to have me."
Tears ultimately ran down your cheeks as his touch slowly disappeared from your body, footsteps fading into the distance, and without another word, the door closed, leaving you crying your heart out in excruciating pain. You didn't know what to feel after everything he had confessed to you tonight; you just wanted to forget all this ever happened.
His existence in your life hurt so much.
-
Since that heart-rending night, you and Mingi have never spoken a word to each other, not even during meetings and battles—nothing. He had kept his distance as much as possible to respect your wishes of not wanting to speak with him again. Now that he had already told you everything he needed to say that night, there was nothing he'd be expecting back from you. He was only there to serve you from then on as part of the Blue Bird crew—nothing more, nothing less. Whatever feelings he had, it was only his to know and keep a secret.
Everything was going smoothly. Things felt completely normal until the crew started noticing the change in atmosphere between the two of you once again and how Mingi tries to avoid you every chance he can get, which was very unusual from the Mingi they knew of. He wasn't looking your way as often anymore, and he's too focused on work to bother socializing with his crewmates. Well, he needed time to heal from the pain too. That's when the crew realized that this was more serious than the last time. If keeping his distance would make you feel better, then he will do so without a fight.
You read the fifth chapter of the book you were currently indulged in as you ate your meal in silence, separate from the others, during one of the crew's feast celebrations. Later on, you got up to go for a stroll around the island at this hour simply because you didn't feel like joining in on the fun tonight.
Mingi, although he didn't mean to, stood up from his seat to follow you out of habit, but Jongho pulled him down before he could take a step further. "Stay here, I got this." With that, Jongho hurriedly ran to catch up with your figure disappearing into the island. "Do you need any company, captain? It's getting a bit late," Jongho asked as soon as he matched your pace.
Not leaving your eyes on the book, you shook your head in response. "No need, Jongho. I just need some time alone; I hope you understand."
"Of course, captain. I fully understand." Jongho nodded, to which you returned with a gratified smile.
"Thank you," you replied before Jongho made his way back to where the others gathered.
Minutes after your short stroll around the island, you found yourself back at your tower. No Mingi following you from behind, just you and the silence of the room. Nothing really changed since that night; everything seemed to be in place.
The villagers were happy, the island was peaceful, and Mingi hadn't bothered you anymore, yet somehow the bright pink carnations in your flower vase sitting on top of your kitchen counter, which had never lost their colors since Seonghwa had gifted them to you months ago, slowly began fading, or maybe you just lack sleep.
-
The next few weeks were different from what the crew had observed. Some days, Mingi worked extra hard with the villagers, spending more of his time with them, assisting the men in fixing broken furniture, and helping the women carry heavy loads of clothing.
He wanted to experience life in a village, as he lived most of his life on a pirate ship. The other days, he would teach young children some of the gun and sword tricks he learned when he was at their age with the reason that children should be prepared for battle as early as now. In the end, he befriended everyone on the island all by himself.
Today was no different. You were roaming around the island monitoring the villagers and the crew on their work, as well as the houses for any damages, and surveying for areas that needed improvements, repairs, and maintenance. So far, no major damages have been found except for some minor repairs needed for some houses in the village.
You had just finished monitoring the community kitchen of the village, so you sat down on a bench nearby to rest after a long day of work under the heat of the sun. A villager had offered you a cold drink, which you gladly accepted, and as you indulged yourself with the refreshing drink, your wandering eyes landed on the man working in the distance.
He was shirtless, putting his toned back, broad shoulders, huge biceps, and snatched waist out on display under the sunlight. Turning to the side, you watched as his sharp nose, neck, and forehead dripped in sweat, which he wiped away with his arm. His hair was slicked back with a few strands falling on his face, and his plump lips curled up once in a while in concentration, showcasing his pretty white teeth. You hate to admit it, but his build got better since the last time you saw him shirtless—that was years ago—but you kept it all to yourself.
Without warning, a body jumped from behind you, taking you completely by surprise and causing you to spit your drink out of your mouth. "Careful there, captain. Your eyes are going to fall out from how deep you're staring at him. We wouldn't want him to know that, would we?"
"I'm just—" You coughed out the drink that got stuck in your throat. "I'm just observing him."
A mischievous smirk grew on Wooyoung's face, his arms leaning on the backrest of the bench to support his body, and like the tease he is, he wasn't convinced by your words one bit. He could tell from the way your body stiffened and your eyes avoided Mingi that you got caught in the act. "You sure you aren't feeling any romantic feelings down there? Because that's not what your eyes are telling me." He caught your hands fiddling with the hem of your sash, and that confirmed his suspicions, but he wanted to hear it directly from you.
"No, Wooyoung. Don't mistake romantic feelings for being cautious; your eyes are seeing things." You thought you convinced him enough through your stern tone, but not until Mingi turned towards where you and Wooyoung were, smiling momentarily when he met your gaze before bringing his attention back to the man he was working with.
That made you freeze in your seat, dumbstruck, but the cherry-on-top was the pink hue that appeared on your cheeks, causing Wooyoung to emit an amused laugh, "Whatever you say, captain."
"Get back to work, or I'll replace you with Seonghwa as my first mate."
"Slow down, captain. You drank too much already."
"Leave me alone," you complained, pulling your arm away from Wooyoung's hold.
Wooyoung grew frustrated at your stubbornness. Ever since dinner had started an hour ago, he had been keeping an eye on you the moment you ordered a bucket of rum. You weren't much of a drinker, from what he knew, but you'd drink on special occasions. Tonight wasn't even a special occasion of some sort, so he truly wondered what was on your mind for you to be drinking on a normal night like this.
To be honest, it wasn't totally your intention to drink past your alcohol consumption limit tonight. However, with the heavy tension you've been feeling in the past few weeks, you couldn't help yourself. You lost track of how much you had drunk, and despite Wooyoung's efforts to stop you, you were already too far gone; one more bottle and you would black out.
"Seriously, y/n. This isn't funny; you're going to die if you drink more." Wooyoung tried one more time to stop you by pulling your shoulders back.
No matter how hard Wooyoung tried, you wouldn't give in that easily. "N-no, just...one more...please..." you slurred as you reached for the last bottle of rum on the table in front of you. The tips of your fingers were already touching the surface of the bottle, only for it to be pushed away by a hand with fingers wrapped in multiple rings.
"That's enough." A voice so deep, rough, and serious spoke from behind, his shadow towering over your body.
You removed yourself from Wooyoung to turn towards the person behind you. "Don't tell me what to do—" You let out a yelp as a pair of strong arms suddenly carried you up bridal style. "Hey! Put me down this instant; it's a command." Adjusting your eyes to the light that shone from the moon above, you were stunned to be met with Mingi's sharp eyes.
"I'm bringing her back to her tower, you guys continue with your drinks." Just like that, Mingi walked away from the dinner table until it was out of sight, leaving you no chance to protest with how firm his hold was on you while ensuring you were comfortable in his arms.
You were trying to keep your eyes open, but with how comfortable you felt resting on his chest, sleep had won you over. Mingi only took notice of this when your head leaned into him further, and in no time, you were already in your bedroom. As gently as he could, Mingi settled you down on your bed and covered you in your blanket so you wouldn't feel cold.
"I'm trying so hard to avoid you, but you worry me too much, y/n." He took in the sight of your sleeping form. You looked exhausted, like you had overworked yourself. What he didn't understand, though, was why you had put yourself in this situation. "I wonder what's on your mind?" Mingi softly caressed your hair, brushing a few strands of loose hair that fell on your face behind your ear. "I'm sorry if I caused this; I'll try harder not to be a burden to your life." He planted a kiss on your forehead and smiled at how peaceful you looked without the serious persona you usually put on in front of everyone.
With one last look, he got up to leave you in your peace when he felt your hand weakly reaching out to hold onto his wrist. Mingi turned to you once again, ready to help you with anything. Unexpectedly, you pulled him down, causing him to stumble towards your body, his free hand supporting himself up so he wouldn't crush you. "y/n..." Mingi gulped nervously at how close you were, faces inches away from each other. "What are you doing?"
Your eyes slowly fluttered open, though not quite fully, and your hands cupped his already pinkish cheeks. You weren't completely sober, but it was hard to deny how cute he looked all flustered and confused. "Why are you so cute?" you asked in a hushed whisper.
Mingi put his other hand on top of yours to pry his face away from you. "y/n, you're drunk." He was caught off guard when you pulled him closer again, his heart racing like it would burst out of his chest at any moment. "Please, y/n. Close your eyes and go back to sleep; I'll leave—"
Smooch. One second, you pecked his cheek. The next, you fell back to dreamland. To say that Mingi was surprised was an understatement; he could basically feel his soul leave his body. He stayed frozen in place, still registering what had happened just now, his eyes glued on you.
The woman who claimed to hate his existence, who would rather deal with Wooyoung's constant nagging than share a room with him, and whom his heart only loved just kissed him on the cheek. It felt too good to be true, too impossible to happen despite sharing an intimate kiss years ago. This was different. This was a kiss from the tough, clever, and highly respected captain, not the vulnerable, fragile, and fearful cabin girl back in HalaHala.
"You're driving me crazy."
-
You woke up to the delicious smell of food from outside the room. Sitting up on your bed, you groaned as the throbbing pain in your head worsened, "I hate this." You shouldn't have drunk too much last night, but you lost control of yourself to stop. For your convenience, a cup of ginger tea sat on your bedside table. You grabbed it only to feel it warm in your touch. "It's still new."
After a few minutes of drinking the tea and wandering off with your thoughts, you finally got up and headed to the dining area where the smell came from. A table filled with perfectly arranged dishes greeted you. No one was in the room, yet the food was hot and new. "Wait, that's..." You took a closer look at a certain dish that seemed a bit familiar to you. "This is my favorite dish."
It was fish with sweet and sour sauce added with some carrots on the side. This had always been your favorite way back in the kingdom, and you would request it almost every other day that the chefs decided to store plenty of fish only for you. You could hardly remember its taste with how long it had been since you last had it. With that being said, you took a bite to taste the dish, which you missed so much.
This tastes amazing! The dish didn't exactly have the same taste as what you always had when you were young, but you swore you'd tasted this certain recipe before. You were so curious about who prepared all those for you, seeing no sign of another person's presence there. Maybe Wooyoung came over to make this? He was one of the best chefs on the island besides the head chef, but he couldn't have known of your favorite dish since you never brought it up to him. You were thinking too much about it until you noticed the odd placement of the utensils on the table, and that's when it hit you.
"Mingi...he remembered."
Of course, it was him. Who else could it possibly be? That man used to cook for you back in HalaHala, especially that dish, which he strictly only cooks for you. Mingi was good at cooking various fish dishes, as he grew up near the sea, thus learning how to fish at an early age.
He used to hate cooking because his mother thought it wasn't 'manly' of him, so he would sneak inside the kitchen when everyone was gone and make that dish for you. He remembered being so awestruck by the shine in your eyes whenever you tasted his dish and said how delicious it was. That was enough to make his day complete.
-
Mingi had just arrived at the village on his way to his quarters when Wooyoung spotted him from the community kitchen. "Hey, Mingi! Where have you been—are you okay?" Wooyoung asked in concern, noticing the way Mingi kept massaging shoulders and back with a groan. Mingi only spared him a glance before continuing to make his way to his quarters to wash up and get ready for the day. He hoped Wooyoung wouldn't bother him for now, but that hope wasn't strong enough to stop him.
"What happened, man? You were gone the whole night and you look like you're in pain, did you get into fight?" Mingi remained quiet while Wooyoung looked around for any injuries and bruises, "You got no bruises, so probably not."
"Don't you have work to do, Wooyoung?" Mingi finally answered him, earning a shrug from the man.
"Yeah, I do, and...hold on." Wooyoung stood in front of Mingi to block his way. "Didn't you bring our captain back to her tower last night?"
"That, I did." Mingi raised an eyebrow when Wooyoung studied him from head to toe.
"Hmm, you're wearing the same clothes from last night, and you just got back here, plus you look like you have some back pain." Wooyoung's eyes then met Mingi's confused ones, his index finger tapping his chin. "Did you and her...you know...?"
"Know what?" Mingi was growing impatient with each second that passed.
"Oh, you know, be intimate and stuff." Wooyoung's question sounded so casual, but the look on his face showed how serious he was with it. "Did you?"
Mingi deadpanned, but the red hue that slowly colored his ears betrayed him. That kiss she gave me last night. He hoped his thoughts weren't obvious. Unfortunately, it was too late. Wooyoung had caught on to his red ears, his eyes widening in realization.
"No way...Mingi, you...you madman!" Wooyoung punched Mingi playfully on his chest.
"It wasn't like that!" Mingi retorted. "Nothing happened between us, okay? I stayed the night and slept on the couch to watch over her; that's why my body hurts." Mingi massaged his shoulders again. "And besides, she and I are not in that kind of relationship. She literally hates me, so don't think of such thoughts about her—or us, I mean."
Wooyoung squinted his eyes at him, slightly unconvinced, but decided to shrug it off anyway. "Whatever, I'll let you go only because you brought her home safely last night." Wooyoung stepped out from Mingi's way. "Go get ready; we need more hands in the kitchen."
-
Arriving at the village, you were ready to start the day with high spirits after devouring that delicious meal Mingi prepared for you. You definitely weren't thinking about him as you took a nice cold shower and how much he changed in a span of months; of course not. Today, you planned to just spend the day resting from work and getting a few books at the library to read—nothing much.
As you greeted the villagers on your way, an excited Wooyoung ran up to you. "Good morning, captain. Come try this tasty thing everyone's obsessing over." You couldn't even say a word and ask what he meant as Wooyoung pulled you towards the table outside the community kitchen where villagers had gathered.
"Good morning, princess! Come try this; it's so good." A series of greetings erupted around the table at your presence. What are they even eating?
"Here, captain. Try this, it's really sweet." Wooyoung passed you a piece of cookie to taste, waiting expectantly for you to take a bite and enjoy it just like everyone else.
After taking a bite out of the sweets, you swallowed it. However, the sweetness made you cough. "Oh, it's too sweet." You grimaced, giving the cookie back to him. You didn't really understand why he enjoyed it.
"Really? It tastes alright for me." Wooyoung finished your bitten cookie, dusting off the crumbs from his hands. "Don't worry, captain. I'll request a less sweet one for you."
"No need." Mingi appeared in front of you with a plate of cookies in hand, offering one to you. "Try this one."
It would be rude not to accept his offer, so you grabbed the cookie from him and took a bite and another and another until you were empty-handed. "Wow," you whispered under your breath. The cookie he gave you wasn't too sweet; it was perfect. It tasted like a romantic picnic near a riverbank with fresh air; that was how you imagined it.
You almost forgot that Mingi was still there waiting for your reaction until he asked, "How was it?"
"It tastes amazing," you replied.
"Really? What's the difference?" Wooyoung grabbed one from the plate to try, and he grimaced at the unfamiliar taste. "It's not even that sweet."
"She doesn't like food that is too sweet," Mingi answered calmly as if it was a common fact. The truth was, you haven't shared that fact with anyone else but him.
Wooyoung nodded in understanding. "Oh, that's why you made a separate batch earlier." He brushed off a few crumbs that were stuck to his fingers before heading back to the kitchen. "Well, I better get more before they run out."
It was just you and Mingi outside the kitchen, standing awkwardly in silence, and you didn't know what to do at the moment. He didn't move from his place, and you didn't leave either, so he thought that maybe you had something else to tell him.
"So...uhm, did you make these?" you asked after contemplating for a minute, and he nodded to confirm. "I see, thanks. It was good." You cleared your throat before looking him in the eyes. "Thanks for the meal earlier by the way; I enjoyed it." You proceeded to walk away and made your way to the library, not bothering to wait for his reply.
As much as you hated to admit it, he was a great cook in many ways. He was good with his hands, and what's worse is that he knew how to win your heart with food. He knew your favorites, your preferred sweetness level, and even your allergies. You were surprised that he even remembered all those little details about you.
Mingi watched as you walked away, holding the plate of cookies in his hands. He entered back inside the kitchen, where he found Wooyoung being dragged by Yunho away from the already annoyed chef, who was scolding him for taking more cookies than he should. Mingi settled back in his space, where the rest of the 'not-so-sweet' cookies were placed. He grabbed a small box from the cabinet, carefully placed all the cookies inside, and tied a twine into a ribbon to enclose the box. I hope this isn't too much.
-
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You cannot possibly feel soft around Mingi now, right? You didn't know what shifted in the air today nor what happened last night, but you still certainly noticed a change in how Mingi approaches you compared to when he wouldn't even bat an eye at you. No, I must be crazy to think that. Maybe Mingi was only doing it because you were the captain or the princess? Yeah, that was it. It was a gesture out of respect; it didn't mean more.
Shaking those thoughts away, you sped up towards the 'literature' section of the library. You were looking for a black hardbound book decorated with gold accents and texts, which was about the literature of Wonderland Kingdom, where your next destination with Blue Bird would be. You scanned around the shelf only to find that book placed neatly high up on the shelf. This was certainly not your day.
You were debating if you should go ask help from the librarian at the front desk, but she seemed to be preoccupied at the moment. That meant you were left alone at your own expense. How unfortunate. With all the strength and height you had, you tiptoed with your boots and reached up to the top shelf. You tried your best to reach the book you wanted, yet only the tip of your fingers could touch the edge of it.
"Goodness, why is it even up there?" One more time, you reached up for the book, but luck really wasn't on your side. You lost balance on your feet, and you closed your eyes, ready to brace the impact of your fall, but the fall never happened. A hand had caught you by your waist, steadying you back on your feet. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." You looked up at your savior and was met with the same man you had just thought about minutes ago.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Mingi asked worriedly.
You wanted to hide in embarrassment, but you knew you'd be more embarrassed if you did actually fall without his help. "No, no. I'm fine, really." You brushed your hair away from your face and forged a cough to clear the awkwardness. How did he even know I was here?
"You needed this?" In front of you was the black and gold book you were trying so hard to reach for in his hands, lending it to you.
You accepted the book from him and nodded slightly in gratitude, "Yeah, thanks again. You didn't have to do that, though."
He smiled at you softly, "Well, I wouldn't want the princess of New World to get hurt."
It was an uncommon sight to see the two of you in the library right now, with you shyly looking up at Mingi while holding the book to your chest and him smiling down at you. One of those "events that feels too impossible to believe but really happened" kinds of things. Wooyoung would likely believe he was hallucinating or still dreaming if he were present to witness it, except that this was real.
"I brought you these by the way, in case you get hungry. It's not much, but I hope it's good enough to satisfy your taste." Mingi handed you the box he packed earlier in the kitchen.
Your fingers slightly brushed against his as you accepted the box, making your heart race. "Thank you; I'll be sure to enjoy them."
Mingi bowed in respect, "I'll be on my way now, stay safe." Without another word, he exited the library with reddened cheeks, which you failed to notice.
-
Hours had passed since you stayed at the library, and your progress was, well...not much. You only had minimal progress in those hours; that's not good. You couldn't focus at all; you kept rereading the same line over and over again, yet nothing went into your head. Words blurred into scribbles, and letters started spelling into his name. You really must have gone insane. You decided to go back to your tower to get away from whatever that was.
"You look troubled; something on your mind?" Entering the living room, Seonghwa's voice greeted you as he sat comfortably on your couch with a book in hand. He stood up from his seat, approaching you to get the book from you, and leading you to sit on the couch with him.
"Why are you even here? I don't remember inviting you." You removed your coat off your shoulders, hanging it on the coat rack by the door.
Seonghwa stared at your face in silence, a smile growing from his lips as his eyes landed on the box you placed down on the coffee table. He was familiar with that box; only one man on this island packs food like that. To see you carry one of those boxes, he figured that you might have encountered Mingi earlier today. "I came here with a question actually." Seonghwa rested an elbow down on the armrest beside him. "But I don't know how you'll take it."
You raised an eyebrow at his words, wondering what his question would be. "What is it?"
He hummed as if he was thinking it through, his eyes not leaving yours. "I heard from Wooyoung that Mingi brought you here last night, correct?" You, having no clear memories of last night, nodded absentmindedly. "Do you even remember what you did last night?"
Why was he asking about last night? All you did was drink and pass out, and the next thing you knew, a meal was readily set for you. "Did something happen last night? Did I do something embarrassing? Tell me." His question brought out your curiosity. Based on your expression, you didn't seem to recall what you did to Mingi last night. The memory of the kiss you gave him on his cheek was out the door; you had forgotten about it.
Seonghwa thought it was best to go straight to the point. "After hearing a few stories from Wooyoung, which at first, I couldn't believe my ears, and seeing what happened in the kitchen this morning, it made me think." In a split second, his usually soft eyes turned serious, wanting an honest answer from you. "Do you have feelings for Mingi?"
There goes that name again. But, wait. Feelings? What? You turned to him incredulously like he was crazy. "What the hell, Seonghwa? What made you even think that?"
Seonghwa had already expected you to react that way to his question. Even so, he wasn't going to stop until he was satisfied with your answer. "As I said, Wooyoung—"
"I don't care what he says; he must have lost his mind." You rolled your eyes in vexation. You would NEVER admit your feelings to anyone, not even to Seonghwa, whom you are closest to, not that there were any feelings involved to begin with. You got up, ready to head to your room to avoid the conversation, but Seonghwa held your wrist to stop you from escaping.
"I asked a question." His voice was solemn as ever, and whenever he uses that tone, it means he isn't playing around. It was that tone he used when he nags at you whenever you overwork yourself or when you carelessly make decisions out of anger. "And I need an answer."
No words seem to come out from your mouth; hell, you didn't even know what to say and definitely didn't know how you truly felt. What exactly do you feel for Mingi? What did he make you feel other than pain, regret, and anger? There weren't any romantic feelings there; no, that would be absurd.
Clearly, you were in denial. You were stuck in the idea that despite missing the sweet memories you shared with him, pushing him away would heal your wounds. But that's far from the truth. You had overlooked the love Mingi slipped into the simplest of actions he'd done for you, watching over you whenever you say you didn't need help, treating the villagers with respect just as he respects you, and more.
"You cannot lie to me, y/n. I've seen the way you look at him these past few weeks, and I would know when you don't speak of the truth."
Damn it. You cannot put into words what your heart was feeling and what your mind wanted you to believe. Mingi's existence used to make sense to you, but you couldn't even figure out and explain what he meant to you now.
"Do you love him?"
Do I love him? "No..."
"No?" He knew you were lying, so he pushed you further. "Think about it, y/n. You could've killed him right off the bat when he and his friends had trespassed on the island months ago, yet you let him live despite the nightmare he put you through, and you tell me you don't feel anything for him?"
You looked away with a scoff; you did not want to agree to his words. You wanted to divert your thoughts somewhere else and avoid the conversation. Unfortunately, memories you shared with him were starting to get in your head, and Seonghwa's words made it worse. "I don't..."
"That man sacrificed his life for you, took the life of his own blood for you; if that isn't love, I don't know what is."
"That's enough, Seonghwa." You were growing frustrated. You were trying your best to hold back your emotions and not hurt your best friend with words that may hurt his feelings, but the latter was equally as frustrated as you were. "Even if he did that, it doesn't change the fact that he almost cost me my life once."
"I understand that, y/n. But, I want you to be honest with me."
"No! I don't love him; I don't have feelings for him."
"If you're not going to be honest with me, then at least be honest with yourself."
Your shoulders slumped in defeat. Why couldn't you be honest with him? Why weren't you honest with yourself? Your mind might be telling you that you do not feel anything for him, not a shred of affection for the man you once loved, but what your heart felt whenever he did something for you was something you couldn't deny. Regardless of what your mind tells you is real or not, those emotions were true.
"I don't, Hwa...I don't...know." You weren't sure whether to follow your heart, which had been completely honest about your feelings with the world and had molded you into a princess and a captain who served those in need, or your mind, which had led you to become the guarded woman you are today. "I want to know, too."
The room fell silent with only your quiet sobs being heard. Seonghwa pulled you towards his chest, wrapping you in comfort. "I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you, y/n. I just don't want to see you look troubled whenever he's around, especially since he's a Blue Bird crewmate now. I want to see the enthusiastic smile back on your face, and less of the scowl." He rubbed your back in gentle strokes. "You've always been honest with your feelings up until now, you know. I don't want you to lie to yourself just because you think it's the safest way; it's not. Sometimes, the truth is safer than you think."
Maybe Seonghwa was right; maybe lying to yourself wasn't the right answer. Lying about your feelings wasn't going to bring you anything but distress; you just have to learn to accept and acknowledge whatever your heart felt for him. Acceptance was all you needed.
You didn't say anything, but the way you relaxed in Seonghwa's embrace, he took that as a response that you had understood him. It's moments like this when you're truly grateful for his presence in your life; he knows the right words to say, the right time to speak, the right actions to do, and the right way to approach your fragile heart. You were glad you had him to run to when you felt vulnerable. Seonghwa was always ready to catch you when you fall.
Just then, a knock was heard from the door, and it opened to reveal the man you and Seonghwa had been talking about. Mingi stood by the door with an unreadable expression, seeing you and Seonghwa embracing each other so warmly, missing the tears that stained your puffed cheeks.
"Hi, uhm...really sorry for interrupting the moment. Wooyoung requested for me to inform the captain that we'll be training the kids early in the morning tomorrow until the afternoon, in case she'll ask for him." Mingi left the room just as quickly as he had entered, leaving no chance for either you or Seonghwa to react.
On the way back to his quarters, Mingi questioned everything—the kiss, the gentle look in your eyes when you looked up at him at the library, and the stolen glances you gave when you thought he wasn't looking. He questioned if it even meant anything at all. Maybe you weren't so harsh on him anymore, not because you had slowly forgiven him, but because you had already given your heart to Seonghwa. There was no battle left for him to fight for your heart, and he was to accept defeat even when it would kill him.
A week of preparation had passed, and after sailing through the ocean for three full hours, your crew had finally docked at your neighboring kingdom, 'Wonderland.' You came here to deliver some goods to the castle, as the king had invited you for dinner, and perhaps visit an old friend too. You wore a more casual outfit for the trip instead of your usual captain look, while the rest wore something similar, but they kept their weapons with them for safety. You didn't exactly need any of it because to you, Wonderland was a safe place; it was home.
The kingdom of Wonderland was one of the most powerful yet hospitable kingdoms you knew of. Your connection with them goes way back to your parents time, when they made an alliance to fight against the notorious pirates. Your parents would often bring you with them during their trips to Wonderland. There you met the only daughter of the king and queen of the said kingdom, who eventually became your friend too since you two were nearly of the same age, with you being two years older.
Now, here you were back at the familiar place. An hour ago, you and the crew had arrived at the island earlier than expected, so you allowed the others to explore the public market near the dock where your ship was at for the meantime. The sun was beginning to set, and vendors were lighting up their stalls; that signaled for you to start heading up to the king's castle. You assigned Seonghwa to gather the rest of Blue Bird with the help of his beloved parrot, and in no time, everyone was gathered.
The journey to the castle was only a 10-minute walk from the market; thus, traveling by transportation to reach the place was unnecessary. Seeing the castle again was like coming home from an errand, whereas it had been years since the rest of Blue Bird last saw a castle up close. You walked up the stairs like you belonged there, unaware of the crew's hesitant steps. Even then, they trusted your lead, so they weren't completely worried.
At the top of the stairs, two of the royal guards stood by the door in attention together with the person who had the brightest smile on her face. She ran up to you and embraced you in a tight hug. "y/n! My sweet, sweet sister. I missed you so much, you have no idea." She pulled back to study your face, which she hasn't seen in centuries, as she always tells herself. Her soft, flawless hands cupped both your cheeks. "You're alive..." she whispered under her breath like she was reassuring herself of your presence. "I'm so happy you're alive."
You managed to let out a response even with your cheeks mushed. "I missed you too, Aera." Upon finally hearing your voice, she looked at you warm-heartedly. She couldn't believe you were real.
Han Aera, princess of Wonderland kingdom, was your childhood friend. You first met her at 7 years old when you visited Wonderland for the first time. You were quite shy around new people, but your parents encouraged you to make friends with her. Thankfully, Aera came up to you first, and since then, you and her have become close like sisters. Her parents, the king and queen, were also like your second parents, who took care of you and showed you around their kingdom. So when they heard the news that the whole kingdom of Fever, including the king and queen, was attacked, they were devastated, and their hearts were shattered into pieces.
They lost not only their allies but also their brothers and sisters; they lost their family. Aera thought she had lost you too, so she locked herself inside her room and broke down until her parents told her that you survived the attack, but you were taken away by pirates. She was relieved, truly relieved, that you were still alive out there. Still, she was overanxious about your safety. How would you survive with the pirates? What will they do to you? She didn't want to think of the worst possible scenarios, only hoping that you'd come back in one piece, and here you were, in one complete piece indeed.
Tears began to fall from her eyes, "You changed, y/n." Aera took in the new look you had—a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up halfway covered in a brown vest, glen check patterned slacks paired with black ankle boots with a small brown satchel, and your hair tied into a single braid—a vintage look that is different from your usual princess dresses. "You look different, but you are still the same princess and sister to me."
You held her hand that was resting on your cheek and smiled, "Life changed me, but my love for you never stopped."
It was true that your love for her never changed in those years without her presence. Some of your memories may have been forgotten already, but Aera was someone dear to you. You spent your childhood and a part of your teenage years with her; sharing secrets and running around the castle garden were your favorite things to do. Forgetting her would be forgetting your family. Meeting her again someday was one of your biggest motivators for building your crew and island.
-
"That's my girl! She did all that by herself." Aera cheered proudly from her seat.
After your emotional reunion with Aera, she invited you and the crew inside the castle to have dinner with the king and queen, which was the main purpose of your visit there. Soon, you found yourselves sitting around the long wooden table decorated with a warm red and gold table lining. The king sat at the front of the table, the queen on one side, and Aera on the other. You sat beside the queen, followed by Seonghwa, Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Jongho, while Mingi sat beside Aera, followed by Yunho, Hongjoong, and San, respectively.
The moment you entered the dining room, both the king and queen immediately ran up to you and embraced you warmly, grateful for your return. They bombarded you with questions about where you've been, how you've been living, and who you were with. They were relieved to hear that you've been living well with your people and crew and have settled into a better life in New World.
The food was eventually served and was spent with you sharing about the story of your life's journey and how the events turned out, which elicited flabbergasted reactions from the audience. Even Seonghwa, Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Jongho were still amazed by your story no matter how many times they heard it. You did intentionally leave out the part where Mingi betrayed you by throwing you out of the ship, not wanting to cause any fracas tonight. The storytelling session died down after a few minutes, so you brought your focus back on the food.
Dinner passed in a blink of an eye, and now you were in a conversation with the queen, with the king listening attentively beside her. The conversation was going smoothly, and it felt like you were speaking to your own parents, but somehow your eyes kept getting distracted by something else. The sound of a deep voice near you was really noticeable, and you knew clearly who it belonged to. You tried to focus back on your own conversation with the queen, but his voice was really getting to you until you heard a feminine giggle from across.
It was great timing that the queen diverted her attention to her husband because you got to check what was currently happening at the table. Across from you were Mingi and Aera, lost in their own conversation, exchanging friendly looks and smiles. You weren't sure what it was you were feeling, and you couldn't explain it either (more like you wouldn't admit it), but the scene unfolding in front of you bothered you in some way. Maybe it was the loving stare Aera gave towards Mingi, or maybe it was the wide grin Mingi had as he replied to her comfortably, but you definitely didn't like the look of it.
Unbeknownst to you, the other men at the table had stopped their own conversation when San first noticed the change in your demeanor and then gestured for the others to check as well. Surely, you looked upset. It was like there was a dark cloud looming above your head, and with the way you fixed a penetrating look towards the two people across from you, there was definitely some tension going on. You tried to shake the thoughts away, hoping to focus on the event at hand, so you diverted your attention back at the king and queen. However, the moment you hear Mingi's laughter and see Aera playfully slapping his arm, you just have had enough.
"Sorry to interrupt, your Majesty, but it's getting a bit late. I want to ask for your permission for us to return back home if that's alright." You spoke to the king and queen.
"Won't you and your crew want to stay the night? We've got enough rooms for all of you," the queen offered, but you were set with your decision. It wasn't that you weren't grateful for the offer, but you didn't think you were in the right headspace to stay for the night. You might go insane.
"It's okay, your Majesty. Thank you for the offer, but I still have to check over my people back in New World. Don't worry, I'll be sure to visit here again and bring my people once everything is finished."
As much as they'd want you to stay the night and rest, the king and queen understood the weight of your duties and the situation you were in. You were governing an island and leading a crew by yourself after all, which absolutely wasn't easy work. "We understand you, my dear. I'm sure there will always be a next time for us to meet again," the queen replied softly, assuring you that it was okay for you and your crew to return back to your island.
You bowed to them politely. "Thank you, your Majesty. I am grateful for the warm welcome and the delicious food served. Until our next visit." With that, you stood up and cleared your throat to get everyone's attention, more particularly at two people. "I'm sorry to interrupt the fun, but it is time for us to return home to New World."
"But, y/n—" Aera tried to speak.
"Sorry, I have important matters to attend to."
You let the crew bid their goodbyes to the king, queen, and Aera. Afterwards, you instructed them to exit the castle first and wait for you outside while you bid your own goodbyes to the king and queen, giving both of them one more hug before heading towards the front door with Aera, who offered to walk you out.
"You know, that Mingi of yours is a funny man." Aera's words made you halt just a few steps away from the front door. "I had quite the laugh tonight." You turned to her with a questioning look, not knowing where she was going with this. "I wonder if he dated someone in royalty; his jokes were incredible and definitely not coming from a man's head."
Yes. Yes, he did date someone in royalty. Yes, he did get his jokes from a princess, and that princess was me. You wanted to tell her those words, but you didn't deem it necessary. However, the idea of her having any interest in Mingi didn't sit right with you. "He is a pirate, Aera. You are a princess, and royalty should not be involved in any romantic relationship with them. That's a disgrace to one's kingdom and bloodline, you know that."
"But he's one of your crewmates. It shouldn't be a problem, since you trust him."
She's really adamant about this. "I won't repeat myself, and I mean it." Your voice was now serious and dismissive, leaving no room for objections or complaints.
Aera, on the other hand, was amused by your reaction. She wasn't interested in Mingi like that, of course not; she was merely enjoying his jokes that only royalty understands. She even wondered how he knew of those, especially since he grew up as a pirate. That was all it was supposed to be until she noticed the intense look you gave her, though more towards the man.
She wasn't stupid; she knew you more than you think. You grew up with so much love and respect, so jealousy was never in your vocabulary. Tonight, however, was the first time she had seen that emotion in your eyes. She then got the idea that you and Mingi had possibly shared a romantic past together, and she can tell from your reaction that it most likely happened.
"I know, love. He just reminded me of Keeho," Yoon Keeho, Aera's first love.
"Pirates are dangerous; Keeho is dangerous." You knew he wasn't. He had looks that could kill, but that man was nothing but joy.
Keeho was born a pirate, who got disowned by his parents at a young age all because he enjoyed singing. They saw him as a liability rather than an asset; hence, he was abandoned on the island with nothing to his name, but the heavens brought him one royal staff from Wonderland kingdom who adopted him and treated him like her own son. She was a singer herself, so both of them were really blessed to have each other. Keeho grew up loved since then, and his talent in singing was appreciated as he was assigned to sing during big events at the castle. His beautiful voice was what caught Aera's attention and the reason why she fell in love at first sight. Long story short, they became lovers after a while, but you had no knowledge of that part.
"Aren't you working with pirates yourself?" Aera retorted, and her words gave you no chance to complain anymore. You looked away, feeling guilty at your hypocrisy. Aera gave your shoulder a pat when you didn't respond. "You worry too much. I'm not going to steal Mingi from you."
"What?" Your eyes widened.
Aera smiled to herself as she thought of him. "He seems to have so much respect for you; I wouldn't want to take that and get in the way." She looked you straight in the eyes, searching for any truth in your feelings for him. "You like him, too, don't you?"
That same question Seonghwa had asked you before came back to you once again. "I-I don't..." And that same answer came from you as well, not fully ready to accept the truth just yet.
Aera could only laugh at your reply, as she can see right through your lies. "No one's going to steal your man, love." You turned to her to check if she was messing with you, but all you saw was a genuine smile on her face, a pair of eyes that stared at you with pride, and a hand reaching for yours to hold. That was the look she always gave you whenever she felt proud of you for accomplishing something that made you happy.
"You deserve that kind of love and respect, y/n. You always told me that when you finally find the love of your life, you would fight for them until the end of time. I'm rooting for the both of you, and when you get married soon, the whole kingdom will gladly celebrate with you." Aera pulled you in for a hug, showing you how proud she was of how far you've reached in life. "Stay safe out there, princess. The kingdom is always on your side; we are sisters after all, and no one can change that."
"Thank you, Aera. I also wish for you to find the best love you deserve to have, but I'm sure Keeho is already treating you right." That made Aera laugh amidst the sobs she's fighting to hold back. "We will be on our way now; see you next time."
Aera walked you out of the castle, where your crew had been patiently waiting, and you gave her a curtsy, which she returned. You waved each other goodbye before finally walking down the stairs of the castle with you leading the way at the front and the rest following behind. The walk was quiet like it usually was, but tonight was a bit different, as it had some tension surrounding you, making the crewmates exchange confused glances.
As soon as everyone arrived and got on the ship, you immediately went back to work mode like you didn't just have an emotional farewell moment with your childhood friend minutes ago. "Hongjoong, prepare to sail. Yeosang and Jongho, raise the anchor, and—" You couldn't think properly; your mind was elsewhere, thus you weren't assigning the right tasks to each member. "Just do what you usually do." You shook your head, making your way towards the quarterdeck where Hongjoong was supposed to be.
The Blue Bird crew all sensed that you, their captain, were not in the best mood. They didn't understand the fast switch of your emotions, but the majority knew why it was that way. As your first mate, Wooyoung brought himself closer to you with hesitant steps, not wanting to fuel the fire. However, the moment he opened his mouth, you put up a hand to stop him. You weren't looking as your back faced him, so he left without a question. He knew better than to mess with you right now; not even the mighty Jongho could approach you, except for one brave soul.
Mingi recalled the way you glared at him earlier during dinner at the castle, giving him the idea that your mood had something to do with him, so he walked up to you bravely. The others tried to stop him, warning him of your potential wrath, but still that didn't stop him from approaching you. His words were faster than Yunho's hands trying to grab his wrist. "Hey, y/n. I'm sorry if I did something wrong—"
"Let's make this clear, Mingi." The crew froze when an unimpressed smirk appeared on your face, which quickly dropped into a serious look. "No one should ever engage in any romantic relationship with anyone outside of New World until all pirates have disappeared from this world, understood?"
Mingi understood the point you were making, and he completely agrees with it. What he didn't understand was why your words were somehow directed at him. Not even to Wooyoung, who was known as the biggest flirt on the island. "I do understand that, but what does it have to do with me?" He didn't mean it, but his tone sounded almost frustrated.
The crew's jaws dropped at Mingi's response, with Yeosang gasping at the side in disbelief. No one has dared talk back or fight against you; everyone always complied with your commands and requests, respected your decisions, and never questioned your visions, yet Mingi wasn't afraid of standing up for himself even if it meant having a heated conversation with you. To be fair, you and Mingi had been in some sort of serious tension the past few weeks, so that pent-up frustration might have intensified what he had been keeping to himself.
You really didn't have the energy to argue with him at this late hour. Therefore, with a serious look, you replied one last time. "You tell me." Without another word, you walked past him and the others to go inside your cabin to rest for the night, entrusting Hongjoong with the ship.
Mingi's gaze followed your direction, while his body remained unmoving. Wooyoung hissed at the scene that played in front of them, and the others grimaced beside him. Mingi didn't know what he did so wrong to piss you off, but the rest of Blue Bird definitely knew that it had everything to do with him. They felt bad for him, really. Especially Wooyoung and Seonghwa, who've been keeping an eye on the man. They hoped you'd clear the tension as soon as possible to prevent further issues arising among the crew just like this one.
Mingi felt defeated. No matter what he tried to do—look out for you, avoid you, or pretend that he didn't have feelings for you anymore—they never mattered because you will always hate him. That would never change, and you had made it clear as day. It was like his existence in your life was a burden in itself; that was how he felt by your actions and words towards him. He doesn't want to burden you any further, so this time, he'll keep his presence at a limit.
-
Since that night, Mingi became almost invisible. Not that he wasn't participating in gatherings with Blue Bird anymore, but he didn't want to show himself to you, and even when you were everywhere on the island, he was nowhere nearby. You do see him during expeditions, meetings, or dinner, though only for a short while. As soon as he does his part in the crew, he is gone, and you wouldn't notice a thing.
The first few days, you had overlooked the change in his routine, too busy to point it out. On the contrary, of course, the ever-so-observant Wooyoung caught on since it started, and then news spread to the rest of the crew. Initially, none of them wanted to make baseless opinions about him, but after witnessing a number of events, they couldn't deny the fact.
It first happened when you had gathered everyone for a short meeting regarding a change of taskings for your training sessions, and when the meeting was adjourned, Mingi was out of the room before Seonghwa could even gather his things. Mingi had never rushed out of a meeting before, as he was always one of the last people to leave. The crew never really questioned it much, thinking that he wasn't feeling good that day, plus he also complied with all your requests without any questions, performing well and reaching your expectations. But as soon as he accomplished those given tasks, he was nowhere to be seen the next minute.
It was during New World's Foundation Day dinner party when you finally took notice of Mingi's change in behavior. When the whole island celebrated, alcohol and loud singing were never not present. He usually partook in those things alongside Yunho, never missing a shot being offered to him, and staying back to help clean up the tables.
Tonight, that wasn't the case. You were seated beside Seonghwa at the end of the table, finishing up your own drink in hand, when you saw Wooyoung offering another glass towards Mingi, an arm draped around the man's shoulder.
"Have some more, Gi. You haven't drunk enough yet."
On a normal celebration, Mingi would've grabbed the glass from Wooyoung and downed the drink in one go. But to Wooyoung's surprise, Mingi stood up from the table, packing his things with a shake of his head in refusal. "Sorry, Wooyoung. I don't feel like drinking tonight, so I'll pass this one for now. I'll make it up to you next time." Just like that, Wooyoung watched Mingi's figure disappear again in the dark, and he didn't push him to stay any longer. He understood what his friend meant, and he was going to give him space. Wooyoung went up to Yunho instead to offer him the drink, and the party resumed.
"Mingi must not be feeling well tonight." Seonghwa, who had been quietly eating his noodles beside you, spoke up. His eyes were glued on the food, but his words were directed at you. "I'm sure you noticed that too, captain."
You did notice that, and you couldn't help but worry about him. Yes, you weren't on the best terms with him right now, but he was still a crew member at the end of the day.
"You must be worried for him."
You looked down on the table where your half-eaten sandwich rested, slowly getting cold, just like Mingi towards you. You were worried for him, of course. You always had worry in your heart, but was it only worry that filled it? Were you only worried for his health, or were you also curious about why he had grown cold around you? You knew it was because of something you've done or said to him, but it wasn't the same as when he had tried keeping his distance from you before. Now, he was keeping his distance from everyone, even the Blue Bird crew.
In the comfort of his sleeping quarters, Mingi lied on his bed, mindlessly staring up at the empty ceiling. He was aware of the other crewmates' concerns for him, especially Wooyoung and his closest friend, Yunho, yet there wasn't much he could do about his situation. He kept his frustration and unwanted thoughts to himself, not wanting to cause any more problems than he was already making.
Mingi's avoidance stemmed from your constant frustration towards him. He always caused you stress due to his desire to reconcile with you after years of separation, and your anger was a consequence he had to bravely face. Your anger was one thing he could accept, but the kiss you gave him once when you were drunk was another. He was dense enough to believe that you were slowly warming up to him. He had become a fool. When he mentioned to you that he wasn't going to be a burden anymore, he was going to stand by his words with whatever it takes.
But, if he were to be completely honest with himself, he'd admit that a part of that reason was because of the closeness you shared with Seonghwa. The two of you already knew each other way before Mingi found his way to the island. Thus, you were bound to have a special bond with him. Only this time, you and Seonghwa grew even closer than before. That day when he walked in on you and Seonghwa at your tower hugging each other, almost intimate from the eyes of a passerby, a romantic relationship between the two of you wouldn't be surprising news. And even tonight, instead of you staying away from the crowd alone, you were glued to Seonghwa.
A chance with you was now too far to reach, so it was best for things to stay this way. He would just have to bear with the pain in silence and cry himself to sleep with the thought of letting you go for good and for you to find the love you deserve without him in the picture. He loved you enough to let you go.
The following days were the same. Mingi either busied himself with trainings or strolled alone around the island to clear off his mind. As a gunner, he had been trying out new tactics with different guns, and once he'd mastered them, he would go teach the same to the younger trainees, who looked up to him because of his impressive skills. Consistent days of progressive trainings were spent together with Wooyoung, San, and Yeosang, whereas you worked with Jongho on developing a more advanced technology, including the production of new weapons to use during battles that may arise. But that battle may have arisen earlier than expected.
The sun had set, and you were heading back to the village square with Jongho after a long day at the headquarters. He rambled to you about what you had discussed earlier with him during the meeting, and you tried to register his words as best as you could, yet you couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling you were getting right now. You weren't sure if you were just hearing things, but you swore you and Jongho weren't alone.
"Integrating personal colors into our weapons would be good—"
Rustle. You hushed Jongho with a finger pressed to his lips, making him freeze in place. He caught on to your tensed shoulders as your eyes scanned around for intruders that could possibly be hiding behind the large trees and bushes surrounding the area. Jongho grew nervous and became equally alerted by your sudden actions, slowly pulling out his pistol from his pocket carry to ready himself for a sudden attack.
Rustle. There was that sound again. You had no idea what was making that sound as the wind was still, but you knew it was best to let the others know of the situation. Grabbing Jongho's hand, you began running towards the village square. "We have intruders..." You huffed out a nervous breath, "Very familiar intruders." Upon arriving at the village square, where the villagers and the crew gathered for dinner, your hurried steps had signaled the crew of your arrival, missing the panicked look on your face.
"Captain, you're here—"
"Tell everyone to go home and lock their doors, ready all your weapons, and scatter around the island." You walked up towards a nearby table to fix your clothes, tightening the laces of your boots and taking off your coat to remove a little weight from your body. "Jongho, alert the island of intruders, and go check why the sirens didn't detect them."
"Got it, captain." Jongho immediately ran back to the headquarters through a hidden shortcut to avoid being seen by the enemies.
The crew all watched with bewilderment and worry as you moved fast while maintaining a serious demeanor despite your hands shaking a lot.
"Captain, you're shaking."
"y/n, calm down."
"Take a deep breath."
You heard the crew speak, but this was not the moment for consoling remarks.
You turned to the crew with a look they had never seen from you before, a look that told them that this was not an easy battle, almost like you had fire in your eyes with how dark they turned. "They're here," you announced to them, voice shaking in between.
"Twilight."
Everyone gasped at the mention of that name so beautiful yet one of the strongest and most ruthless pirates ever known. The Twilight crew consisted of strong men and women specialized in fist fighting, archery, and swords. They were known to be cold, notorious, and evil amongst the existing pirate crews, who never lost a battle. They were once almost defeated by HalaHala, but the latter sailed away to escape. There were many things about Twilight that gave enough reasons for them to be feared. If they had attacked Fever kingdom instead of HalaHala in the past, there would be no doubt you'd be killed alongside your parents. You were scared of them; that's a fact. Even Blue Bird felt the same, but your fear wasn't for yourself.
"Yunho and Yeosang," you called out two of your strongest crewmates, "I entrust you to stay by Jongho's side on this one, please. I want him safe and alive by all means; I want each one of you alive."
It pained you to think about Jongho at this time, and everyone knew how much the youngest member meant to you. Jongho used to be a Twilight crewmate, hence the naturally strong build and knowledge in various weapons and fighting styles. He had been abandoned by them at a young age, so you took him in and cared for him like family. He was a pirate, yes, but he had so much potential that it was a loss to waste. You had saved his life, and that drove him to prove to you his willingness to serve. You deemed him the best fighter on the island; thus, you always entrusted him with the heavy work. Jongho was seen to be this reserved yet reliable man by the villagers, but he had always been the caring younger brother in your eyes.
You automatically sensed earlier that Twilight was around because of the weird scent coming from the rustling bushes. It was a distinct scent unique to their crew, which you had smelled once from Jongho the first time you met. You trusted Jongho like no other, since he was capable of accomplishing things on his own. But with the thought of him seeing them again after what happened many years ago, you were afraid that his intense hatred would get into his head and he would lose his composure. That's why you got Yunho and Yeosang to watch over his back.
Just then, you felt a swift blow of the wind on your face after an arrow passed dangerously close in front of you, landing on the wooden pole nearby. Your eyes widened in fright, heart racing so fast like the speed of the arrow. Your body grew cold; if you had moved even an inch or two, the arrow would have scratched your face badly. The crew began to pull out their weapons and started dispersing themselves around the island, attacking the pirates that had appeared.
"Shit," you cursed under your breath.
San ran up to you, checking for any injuries. "Are you alright, captain?"
You nodded slowly, still processing what had just occurred. "I'm fine; let's just start moving."
San, who had no time to waste, gently lifted you up and offered you a hug, replacing your dread with consolation and assurance that you had people you could rely on. "Take a deep breath for me, captain. We'll all protect you and Jongho; we'll win this." San took your hand and ran with you in the direction of your tower.
-
After alerting the island through the intercom about the presence of intruders, Jongho checked the surveillance cameras for any sign of intruders inside the building, which signaled a big green 'CLEAR' sign. The building was already locked before he got in, and he entered through a secret passage, so no one could follow him inside. He picked up his pistols from the table and quickly exited the building from the same passage.
The outside was oddly quiet, making him feel uneasy as he quickly made his way back to where the crew was, but the moment he saw an arrow fly past you from a distance, someone covered his mouth to suppress his call for help and dragged him back to where he had come from. Jongho was pushed to the ground with a loud thud, causing him to lose his balance. He was ready to shoot whoever laid their hands on him, only for his eyes to widen in horror at the sight of two familiar faces standing in front of him, faces he never thought he'd see again.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't our cute little Jongho. I'm surprised you're still alive. We thought we got rid of you ages ago, but you're still stubborn, aren't you?" Laughter erupted among the men, the two clearly not intimidated by Jongho's presence. "I wonder what captain Yang would do with you." The other person smirked at him menacingly.
Jongho got up to his feet, pulling out his pistol from his pocket carry to try and threaten them, but the two pulled out their own pistols, pointing them back towards him. In front of him stood Choi Daeyeol and Lim Jaehee, two of his senior pirates in Twilight, who taught him a few things about guns. They trained him how to aim at an enemy and shoot them where it hurts most, not knowing that he'd end up aiming his gun at his trainers, who were now his enemies.
"Put the pistols down, boys. You'll scare the poor guy to death; that wouldn't be fun." A hand was harshly pressed down on Jongho's shoulder as a deep, raspy voice was heard from behind his back. "What's more fun is to kill him with a sword sliding across his neck; that way he won't ever get to sing again. Maybe we can slide it deeper so he won't get to breathe at all. Or we can start from his legs; I'm sure he's familiar with that feeling."
"Nice one, captain," Daeyeol commented on the captain's sinister plans to torture Jongho.
Jongho heard captain Yang take his sword out, and the sword appeared in front of him, all shiny and brand new without a speck of dust. "You see this, Choi? No dirt in sight, but once I slide this across your throat, your blood will be the first thing that will stain this pretty thing."
Jongho was strong; he was aware of that. You would always remind him of his incredible strength and intelligence, and he believed it. The captain of Blue Bird, the princess of Fever kingdom, and his savior would never tell a lie. That's why he worked extra hard to live up to that title and not disappoint the people who cared for him when no one did. He was strong, yet he felt weak in the hands of his former captain. He felt his energy drain by the sword that was inches away from his neck, the dirty hand that held his shoulder, and the mocking laughter from the other two men.
At that moment, all he could think about was you: how grateful he was for your existence, the happiness he gets whenever you tell him jokes that make him laugh so hard until he couldn't breathe anymore, and how safe he feels whenever you're around. Seeing you every day would motivate him to work and treasure every second of his life, but if this was how his life would end, he couldn't even get to tell you his goodbyes nor see your face one last time.
This is it, he thought. Jongho had accepted defeat; there was no more fight left in him. Even if he tried to kill captain Yang now, he was still going to get attacked by Daeyeol and Jaehee. There was no escape. Well, there were two people who wouldn't accept that. As Jongho shut his eyes closed, a loud gunshot was heard, and captain Yang's grip on him loosened until his body dropped on the ground with a thud. Jongho opened his eyes to see both Daeyeol and Jaehee on the ground covered in blood.
Yeosang had shot the captain in the head, while Yunho stabbed the other two in their backs with his daggers. They almost looked invisible in the dark as they had their masks on, and they made absolutely no noise too, so the enemies didn't notice their presence. Yunho and Yeosang finally approached Jongho, who stared at them in surprise, and asked if he was hurt or not.
"Sorry we took a while; Yeosang here almost lost his pistol." Yunho hit Yeosang in the head jokingly, and the latter played along by pretending to be in pain.
However, Jongho didn't laugh with them. Instead, his mouth dropped into a frown, and Yunho panicked at his reaction only to calm down when Jongho suddenly broke down in sobs. "Thank you." That was all he could utter, but those two words were more than enough for Yunho and Yeosang. Task or not, Jongho had to stay alive, and they made sure of it.
-
When everyone had dispersed to different areas on the island—Yunho and Yeosang to the headquarters, Hongjoong and Wooyoung to the shore, and Seonghwa and his men near the villagers' homes—Mingi had followed behind you and San. He wasn't supposed to be there; he was supposed to stay with Seonghwa, but it's as if his feet had a mind of their own. He just had to look out for you in this battle. You seemed unsteady, nervous, and not in complete focus; he wasn't sure if you could handle fighting against those strong pirates in that condition.
Arriving at your tower, you and San panted, catching your breaths. You thought you had a few minutes to regain your composure and prepare your weapons. You really weren't in the best state tonight, but you were going to try your best nevertheless. In the quiet of the night, you could only hear your and San's breathing, so you didn't hear someone approaching you from behind until San slashed them with his sword. You didn't even have time to react when more pirates appeared and surrounded the three of you.
Twilight was known to sneak up on their enemies in complete silence, and fighting against them in the dark just increased their difficulty. The three of you worked together to take the pirates down, with Mingi shooting the archers from a distance, San slashing the more muscular pirates with his swords, and you shooting the sneaky ones with your pistol, the same one Jongho had. The fight was going well; your momentum was steady and with accurate aim. Despite being outnumbered by the enemies, the three of you remained strong and undefeated.
You were currently reloading your pistol, as you had unfortunately run out of bullets, and using your dagger wasn't the best option right now. Because your attention was elsewhere, you didn't hear the footsteps approaching you from behind, thinking that you were safe from where you hid, not until you got pushed hard to the side.
"MINGI!"
No, no, no. This cannot be; this isn't real. Mingi's body flopped to the ground, blood dripping down his face. You were angry, maddened, frustrated—no, your heart had nothing but rage and no remorse. You took out your dagger that was hidden inside your pocket carry and pushed it deep into the pirate's chest long enough until the man was deemed unconscious. There were little to no enemies left around the area with San finishing them up with a final hit, so you took the chance to approach Mingi, who didn't seem to move.
"Mingi! Song Mingi, get up. Get up, you fool. Hey, why aren't you responding to me? This isn't funny; you have to get up."
You held his head and carefully placed him down on your lap to examine his face. His eyes were closed shut, his breathing was shaky and slow, and blood was dripping down his cheek from the open wound under his right eye. His strong body now fell weak, and you felt him lose energy when his arms dropped down. Because of your carelessness, he had saved your life once again, only this time, it cost him his life.
"Captain, are you okay?" San rushed towards you, who he saw was kneeling on the ground, cupping Mingi's cheek with one hand with teardrops landing on his skin. "What happened?"
San's questions were left unheard as tears blurred your vision, and your hand was stained with Mingi's blood. Your hands shook in devastation, not wanting to accept reality. Mingi had always been this strong, intimidating pirate everyone deemed him to be, but now, he looked so fragile, helpless...broken. He must've been in so much pain because not only was he hit in the face, but he also had a deep cut near his chest, which explained the amount of blood that flowed out from his body.
"You always told me how much you wanted to die in my arms and I did want you gone after what you've put me through..." You couldn't control your sobs any longer, "But, that was all in the past. You have proved to me that you really regretted what you did, and that you had a reason for it. I've seen it all, Mingi. I see and hear you. You've saved my life countless times, sacrificing your life for me yet I never once told you how grateful I am until it's already too late. Please...wake up." You dropped your head to rest on top of his, "This is not how I wanted things to end between us, this isn't what I want. I have forgiven you and I-I'm ready to accept you again, so please...please...please...wake up for me, Mangi." That was the nickname you made for him when you two were still lovers, and you thought it was cute on him. "I've lost the people I loved before; I cannot bear to lose you too," you cried in hopes that he could hear you even when it didn't seem possible.
San silently watched you on the side in pity as to not interfere with the mournful and personal moment. He kept his distance from you, allowing you to think in peace and let out any suppressed emotions you had in your heart. You were the most vulnerable right now, and he respected that. Your feelings were valid and understood. Soon enough, the rest of Blue Bird arrived at the scene one by one. They came closer towards where San stood, only for San to halt them with a raise of his hand. The crew instantly understood the signal and proceeded to watch closely beside him.
"Captain..."
You slowly looked up to the owner of the voice, seeing Jongho standing over you in concern. A weak sigh of relief escaped your lips at the sight of him, thanking Yunho, Yeosang, and the heavens that he was still here. You wouldn't be able to bear the pain if the worst had happened to him; it would be like losing a family member again. As long as he was here, your heart would be at ease.
Jongho knelt down to your level, eyes glued on you. "We'll bring him to the clinic and get him treated immediately."
Seonghwa ordered his men to pull Mingi away from you, working together to support him up, and carefully carry his unconscious body to the aiding station with Seonghwa following behind. Jongho held your hands in his, supporting your back as he pulled you up to stand. You stumbled as your knees felt numb, but he was quick enough to catch you.
"You need to eat and rest, captain. I'll accompany you if that's alright with you."
You honestly didn't have the appetite to eat anything at the moment, only wanting to go see Mingi at the clinic and see if he was going to live, but you couldn't refuse Jongho's offer. If you do not eat something or drink anything at all, you'd probably pass out.
-
A sword was aimed towards Mingi, and he tried to avoid it. However, he accidentally tripped on a pistol that belonged to an already deceased pirate on the ground, causing the sword to slash his chest. He groaned in pain as blood began to run down his torso, but he couldn't lose focus; he couldn't waste a single second, not now. He shot the enemy in the head before they could swing their sword again.
It wasn't just a scratch; the cut was deep, so the pain became unbearable in a short time. Mingi was searching for an area to rest, but instead, he found an enemy approaching you from behind with a dagger as you were busy reloading your pistol, with San too preoccupied with attacking other enemies nearby. He'd seen this scene before when you got hurt and almost killed during your battle with HalaHala, and this time, he wasn't going to let anyone lay a finger on you no matter what it takes.
"No..." Mingi cried in a shaky voice, "y/n!"
With all the strength and energy he had left, and despite his head getting dizzier from the loss of blood, he ran up towards you like his life depended on it. Mingi had to push your body to the side and step in so you wouldn't get hit and he'd receive the hit instead. The last thing he felt was the sharp weapon scratching the skin dangerously close to his right eye before he stumbled down on the ground. He hissed in pain, trying hard to stay conscious, but before he knew it, his vision turned black.
-
"Where is he?" You stepped inside the clinic.
The head nurse led you to a room located at the end of the hallway, where you found the Blue Bird crewmates standing outside the said room. Yunho's head was down, failing to hide the tears he was trying so hard to hold back with Hongjoong and Sam comforting him; he wasn't ready to accept the truth of his best friend and brother's possible death.
After receiving the nurse's confirmation, you quietly entered the room in light steps. On the bed lay Mingi's still unconscious body, chest covered in thick bandages with a blanket over his lower body. You approached the bed, grabbing a stool from nearby so you could take a closer look at him. You took one of his calloused hand, enclosing it with your own as you stared at him heartbroken, keeping him company while he recovered.
You weren't sure how it happened or when it started, but things were different now. Mingi's existence in your life was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions. From becoming friends for the first time as teenagers despite belonging to completely different worlds to becoming lovers defying what the history books always say, eventually leading to a tragic heartbreak and betrayal. By that time, your world had already collided with his, all while building yourself from the ground up, so you couldn't fully go back to where you started. You worked sleepless nights in blood, sweat, and tears to start all over again, and that led to New World.
You had it, but fate had other plans for you. Fate brought Mingi back to you, telling you that your story wasn't over yet. It could've ended if you had killed him that night, which you didn't, and since then, his existence in your life has kept punching you in the face. No matter what you did to deny him, his actions towards you would always remind you that he was the man you once loved before.
Now that man was lying on the clinic bed unconscious and bruised from saving your life, reminding you again that he would do anything to protect you from danger. Your mind tried to convince you that you had nothing but hatred for him, no space for forgiveness and reconciliation, yet deep inside your heart, there was still that love, trust, and gratitude you always had for him. Your heart never lies; it's the same heart that broke into a million pieces when Mingi almost died saving you. Everything he had done was to save you: from getting mistreated and disrespected by HalaHala, from getting killed by his mother and his stepsister, and now, from getting killed by a Twilight pirate.
Mingi had always been your savior, but who was there to save him? You never believed you were ever a savior yourself to him, but little did you know that you, the only woman he ever loved and looked up to, had already saved him more times than you realize. You becoming his friend had saved him from living a life he didn't want to, and becoming his lover was the moment he felt like the world was finally on his side, even for a short while. And when he and his brothers got lost on the island, you saved him too by sparing his life even when you shouldn't. You were the reason he worked extra hard with the crew and the villagers; you made him find his purpose in life again after all of the challenges he faced.
If dying in your arms from saving you was the final form of love he could give to you, then he had lived a fulfilled life with no regrets. After all, the strongest evidence of love is sacrifice.
-
The sunlight crept through the window, indicating that morning had come. Mingi's eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the light after a long night of being unconscious. Well actually, he wasn't fully unconscious that whole time. Unbeknownst to you, he heard every single thing you told him, your cries, your heavy breathing, and your silent whispers. It pained him deeply hearing you cry so much, but there was nothing he could do. Mingi heard you loud and clear, yet his eyes remained shut; he couldn't open them due to the scar near his eye. Last night, he wanted to answer you back and tell you how he truly felt. He'll definitely tell you this time.
Mingi scanned the room he was in, and his eyes landed on your sleeping form curled up on the small couch beside the bed. He didn't expect to find you there; he thought you'd gone back home to your tower. Oh, how wrong he was. His lips curled into a soft smile as he admired how cute you looked in your sleep with your pinkish cheeks and arms hugging yourself. He continued to do that for the next couple of minutes until you woke up, groaning as you stretched your arms up to loosen your muscles from the uncomfortable position you slept in. Just then, it sank in on your mind that you were actually at the clinic and not in your tower, remembering why you were there in the first place.
"Mingi?" You quickly turned to him, only to find him already staring at you with a soft look. "Oh, you're finally awake. Do you feel okay now? Are you thirsty? Hungry? Do you need—"
"Thank you," Mingi cut you off.
"For what?" You were confused; you didn't think you did anything for him to be thankful for you.
"For everything, I heard what you said to me last night."
Huh? Sorry, did I hear it right? "You what?"
Mingi chuckled at your reaction. "I heard you, and my response to that is thank you. Thank you for giving me another chance to prove myself to you. Thank you for accepting me, forgiving me after what I've put you through, and for taking care of me when you really didn't have to. I wouldn't want you to sleep uncomfortably on the couch."
His words struck you, and you realized that your relationship with Mingi was turning to the better side. No more arguments, no more pretending, just an exchange of sincere emotions. There was no need to hide your feelings anymore and pretend that everything he does for you does not affect you in any way because what you had with Mingi now was something you wouldn't change for the world. Swiftly, you wrapped your arms around his body while trying not to hurt him. "I really don't care if my back hurts when you're the one in pain."
For the first time in what felt like forever, Mingi got a genuine hug from you at last after all those times when you wouldn't dare lay a finger on him. He returned the hug with the same warmth, wishing he could capture this feeling forever; he never wanted to let you go again.
"Thank you for waking up." Your voice was muffled as your head rested on his shoulder.
Mingi pushed you back slightly, and to your surprise, he pulled you back in for a kiss. God, how he missed this feeling; your lips were still as soft as ever on his. You were caught off guard by the sudden action but eventually kissed him back with the same intensity. The kiss was slow, sweet, and full of desire with a hint of desperation. Pulling back, Mingi brushed your hair that fell on your face and kept it behind your ear. "You're still the most beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes on, and that will never change. I hope this time, I can make you happy because I love seeing the smile I fell in love with." His hand cupped your cheek, and you instantly leaned onto it.
You were overjoyed right now; you were blessed to have Mingi back in your life, not as an enemy but as a partner for life. "I'm happy, Mingi. I'm really happy you're still here with me in this lifetime despite everything we've been through."
Love is patient, love can hurt, but true love forgives, and you were more than ready to start over again with him in this place where love was abundant, and there was nothing that could come in between you and him again.
You stayed by Mingi's side until he fully recovered from his wounds, even feeding him his food despite him insisting that he was capable of doing it himself, only for you to scold him, and he knew better than to disobey you, so he'd let you do whatever you wanted for him. In return, he'd insist on feeding you too. You would refuse at first, but he would guilt-trip you by saying that he wouldn't recover if you refused, so that's how you two ended up that way. As days passed, you and Mingi spent more time with each other. The others understood the situation, giving the both of you all the time you needed to reconcile.
You would walk along the shore hand in hand with Mingi, sharing stories about your life, reconnecting, and enjoying each other's company, not minding anything around you. The sun was beginning to set, so you and he sat down on the sand, staring off into the horizon as the wind blew on your faces. This brought you back to when you both used to watch the sunsets together back in HalaHala with Yunho, San, and Hongjoong teasing from behind. You used to rest your head on his shoulder, finding peace in his arms, and now, it was him resting on you, hands intertwined with yours.
Mingi told you about what happened the night before he, Yunho, San, and Hongjoong escaped from HalaHala. The four of them hugged each other in tears, thinking that it would be their last day together, unsure of what the future held. You felt saddened at the thought of them together, now understanding how hard it was to make that decision. You planted a kiss on his forehead to reassure him that he was okay now.
You also shared with him the life you had after you landed here on the island, how you met people from your old kingdom, built the island up to what it is now, and how you met Seonghwa, Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Jongho. Hearing your story, Mingi felt apologetic for what you went through, but more than that, he was extremely proud of how far you've come. You really had to work endlessly with no one to run to when you felt weak and tired until the four boys came into your life. Now, you could lean on them when things get hard, and the same goes for him.
"I'm so glad things turned out this way, and that we found each other again." Mingi's thumb caressed your hand in soft rubs. "I love you so much, y/n. My heart is all yours until my last breath; that's a promise I will keep forever."
-
During those times when you couldn't attend a meeting with the crew, you had entrusted Hongjoong to lead them for the meantime, as he was knowledgeable about many things, he was reliable and loyal, he was stern yet understanding, and he had a passion for work. He can do everything without needing your assistance, and those were enough reasons for you to trust him to do well with the task. You did see the difference in Hongjoong's leadership compared to yours, especially that he grew up around pirates while you grew up in a peaceful kingdom, and you wanted to keep this change. That led you to decide on making new changes on the island and with the crew.
You allowed them to have their own house near the headquarters for easier access, and they also have their own individual rooms, so they could live more comfortably. The house was big enough to fit all of them with a spacious living room and a room for working out. There were 8 rooms in total, but only 7 were to be occupied because Mingi was moving in to your tower. You wouldn't feel lonely after work anymore; you now have someone to come home to and rest in the comfort of their arms. Other than that, you planned to rebrand the crew and step down as the captain of Blue Bird. You thought of going back to your royal roots and serving the people as their princess. Although you'll focus more on the island, you would still participate in making plans with the crew, especially with trading and visits, as you will be joining them with it.
You had also decided to pass down the title of being captain to Hongjoong with Seonghwa as his first mate, Yunho as the sailing master, Yeosang as the navigator, San and Mingi as master gunners, Wooyoung as the cook, and Jongho still as the boatswain of the ship. Lastly, you contemplated a new name that would represent them better, one that gave them a unique identity, and after thinking deeply about it, you ultimately found the perfect one.
ATEEZ.
"I officially declare Kim Hongjoong as the new captain of ATEEZ, the new and improved crew of New World." The crowd erupted in cheers and applause at your announcement. You went up to Hongjoong, who stood in shock, not believing what he just heard from you. You gave him an assuring smile. "Why are you so surprised? This was your dream, wasn't it?"
Hongjoong's eyes widened in realization. "Y-you remembered?"
"Of course, I did. I remember everything. I even made you your very own armband. That way, people will rknow who the captain is." You showed to him the armband you personally designed and made with the help of one of the female villagers, wrapping it around his arm. Once it was secured, Hongjoong bowed to you in gratitude and ran off to revel his new role in the crew. He ran around the village square, dragging his poor first mate, Seonghwa, to join him, eliciting a series of teasing remarks from the others.
Yunho, Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Jongho had started noticing the shift in the two's relationship during trainings. Hongjoong and Seonghwa didn't expect each other to grow this close due to the huge contrast in their personalities. Seonghwa took interest in Hongjoong during their first training when he aided Hongjoong, admiring him for his abilities yet finding him cute for his slight clumsiness, not to mention how he denied it when you asked, and not knowing that Hongjoong was also attracted to him at first sight. When the two were left alone, Seonghwa would grab the chance to hang out with him, but Hongjoong enjoyed playing hard-to-get, so he would turn down his invite only to end up hanging out with him anyway. They're just a match made in heaven.
Another perfect match was Wooyoung and San, no surprise. Wooyoung was charming but can be a bit of a handful, and San was poised but soft-hearted despite growing up in a cruel place. It wasn't clear how it really started, but Wooyoung always struck up a conversation with San enough to bring the energy out of him, who mostly remained quiet around people he wasn't close with. The two grew affectionate with each other, and since then, they were always stuck in their own world, even planning to have matching tattoos.
Jongho still kept bothering Yeosang and competing with him in a playful battle to see who was stronger between the two of them, often trying to wrestle the man as an excuse to have his arms around him. You really didn't get it, but you respect it nonetheless. Moreover, Yunho found himself staying by the kitchen, indulging in a lot of delicious food, so much so that he ended up becoming the main chef's personal taste tester, and that man was ecstatic.
As for Mingi, he would help you work in your office at the headquarters, bringing you food when you're too busy to eat, checking up on you once in a while, and reporting to you what they had talked about during the meeting. He would stay back with you until you finished work, giving you a kiss and telling you how proud he was of you, heading home together afterwards. There, Mingi would cook dinner for the both of you, and you'd wrap your arms around his waist from behind. That was the usual routine, and each day would both start and end with him sleeping beside you on your shared bed.
Back to the celebration, you took in the sight of everyone enjoying their time together with drinks and shared laughter. You felt like a proud mom watching over her kids, who grew up to be successful in life and reach their dreams. All of a sudden, you felt a pair of arms wrap around you from behind, planting a peck on your cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder.
"What about me, princess? What do you remember about me?"
"You?" You turned to Mingi with a playful smirk, wanting to tease him for a bit. "I remember you throwing me off the ship—"
"Hey!" he whined. "Not that; do not remind me about that ever again."
You let out a giggle, finding his reaction cute and amusing. He continued to whine on your shoulder, so you ruffled his hair to make him stop. "Alright, I'll be serious now, you baby." Mingi turned to you with an offended look, which made you burst into laughter this time. "You wanted to have a stable and loving family, didn't you?" You looked up at him and stared into his soft sparkly eyes. "You have us, Mingi. We're your family, and we love you."
Mingi averted his gaze into the distance, where everyone gathered, and looking back to the memories he shared with them, he realized that he was finally in a good place now: no more abuse, no more suffering, an island filled with loving people, and most importantly, you were in it.
He couldn't believe this was his life now; it felt like he was on top of the world. He made you turn to him before pulling you in again in a tight hug, feeling something wet damping your shoulder. "I really don't deserve you, y/n. This is all too much for me to accept, but I'm really grateful for all of this." Mingi slowly caressed your hair. "Why was the world so cruel to you when you have a heart made of gold? My world was cruel to you, yet you still did all of this for me and my brothers."
You wiped the tears that stained his cheeks with your fingers. "The world was cruel to me, but things happen for a reason. I did all these out of love, Mingi. I never regret the things I do for love and out of love, and you're one of them." He smiled at your words, and you gave him a kiss on the lips. "You did what you did back then out of love too, right?"
"Yes, I did." Mingi nodded. "And I will never let you go again, princess. I waited years to be back in your life, and I will have my last breath with you. I am wholeheartedly yours, and I will devote my life to giving you the world you deserve and bringing heaven into your hands."
"You will always be a part of me, love. I was made to love you through heaven and hell."
synopsis ; seonghwa had promised to be there on your last day. promised to spend the whole day with you, but when the time came, he was nowhere to be seen. not until it was far too late.
pairing(s) ; bf!seonghwa x f!reader
☆ ── wc. ; 1.4k
☆ ── genre ; angst w/o comfort
☆ ── tw. ; empty promises, cheating(?), a lot of heartbreak, lmk if I missed anything!!
⏤͟͟͞͞ JOIN THE TAGLIST ── MASTERLIST NAVI ── MAIN NAVI
“I’ll be there at two o’clock on the dot, I promise.” That’s what Seonghwa had told you as he held his pinky out to you, and of course, you were a fool to believe him, linking your pinky with his and a hopeful smile spreading on your lips.
But now, as you stood in your favorite spot, staring at the city below you, you found that hope dwindling as the seconds passed by. It was well over half an hour after two. He was thirty minutes late and showed no signs of showing up.
Inhaling sharply, you wiped your face of any stray tears that had fallen before pulling your phone out of your bag, hoping to see a message of any kind from the dark-haired male, but of course, there was nothing. Not a single word.
“Miss, we’ll have to get going soon if you’re going to catch your flight.” The diver who stood next to the car that had just pulled up behind you spoke softly, a look of pity falling on his face as he watched you nod slowly.
“Just a little bit longer and we’ll go…” You spoke with a shaky voice as you opened your phone to call Seonghwa, hoping that he had just lost track of time and it wasn’t what you were thinking.
Dialing his number you pressed the device to your ear and waited as it rang… and rang… and rang until the line clicked followed by, “We’re sorry but the number you’re trying to reach is currently unavailable.”
It felt like your heart was being pushed through a shredder. Small, sharp blades were tearing away at the delicate organ until nothing was left but tattered pieces.
Swallowing thickly, you made the mistake of opening his social media, and there you found out why he wasn’t with you. The pictures made you want to throw up all of the contents of your stomach, tears pricking at your eyes as you swiped.
He was with his ex. His first love. The one he had told you about when you first got together, saying that she wouldn’t ever be coming back. And just like before, you were a fool to believe him.
You were going to be leaving to study abroad and wouldn’t have as much time to visit, let alone communicate with him, so you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. At first, that’s exactly what you got, and you couldn’t be happier. However, as soon as word got out that Seonghwa’s first love had returned to the country, everything started to tumble downhill.
In a fit of rage you furiously typed on your phone before posting the comment, ‘you guys look happy, I’m glad.’
Afterwards, you blocked Seonghwa and anyone that he could possibly use to get to you, as tears silently streamed down your face. Once you were finished, you opened your best friend's chat, informing her that Seonghwa had, in fact, not shown up—just like she said he would—to which she replied with reassurances and words of a safe flight.
“Miss l/n, we must be going now.” The driver spoke once more, and you nodded, shoving your phone into your bag once more and walking over to the vehicle. He opened the door for you before allowing you to step into the car and shut the door afterwards.
When he got into the car, he looked into the rearview mirror and saw you staring out the window with an expression devoid of emotion, but he could very well see the hurt in your eyes. He wanted to say something, anything to at least comfort you, but he wasn’t sure what could even be said in a moment like this. So he just let out a small sigh before putting the car into drive and driving off.
–
Seonghwa laughed loudly as he walked with Kira, her arm wrapped around his. To any ordinary outsider, it looked as if they were a couple, happily in love.
“Thank you for today, Hwa. I really needed it after a rough week.” Kira smiled sweetly at the taller male as they stopped in front of her apartment door, “I hope y/n understands.” She then added on with a faux pout, knowing that she had the man wrapped around her finger.
“It’s no problem really, and I promise that y/n will understand.” He reassured the girl before watching as she opened her door and walked inside, but stopped short to turn back.
“Did you want to come in? I can make us dinner.” Kira offered, sure that Seonghwa would give in and she’d be able to steal him away from you completely.
What she didn’t know, though, was that she already had.
Seonghwa laughed softly, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets, “I would love to, but y/n is going abroad soon, and I promised I’d spend more time with her.” He explains, patting the top of Kira’s head as she pouted.
“Aw, okay. See you later then, Hwa.” She nodded eagerly, and Seonghwa nodded before bidding the girl goodbye and walking away as soon as her front door shut behind her.
With a content smile, he walked back down the road and pulled his phone out to let you know that he was on his way back to the apartment. However, his heart sank when he saw the calls and messages he had received from you.
The happiness that he once felt all dissipated into guilt and worry as it finally dawned on him what today was. Looking at the time, he knew that he was screwed, but he held on to some hope that you would still be there.
That’s when he saw your comment, and bile started to creep up the lining of his throat. He hadn’t even known that the post was made before recalling Kira using his phone momentarily while they were at the cafe.
Cursing himself, he started sprinting down the street in the direction of your guys' meet-up spot, furiously trying to call you. However, he was met with the same result every time.
“We’re sorry the number that you’re trying to reach is currently unavailable.”
He started to panic the closer he got to the location, hoping by some miracle that you would still be there waiting for him.
Once he finally reached the top of the hill, he bent down, trying to catch his breath, his hands resting on his knees.
“Ah, so he finally shows his face.” A voice called out, followed by a sarcastic round of applause. Startled, Seonghwa stands straight, looking at the girl who was standing in your spot, a disgusted look covering her face.
“Youmin, what are you doing here? Where’s y/n?” Seonghwa asked, still trying to catch his breath; however, it proved futile when her words traveled to his ears.
“Oh, now you care?” She laughed bitterly, “She’s gone, Seonghwa, you would've known that if you weren’t busy with your little plaything.”
“What—”
“You promised her that you would be here at two o’clock, and she was kind enough to believe you and give you another chance,” Youmin crossed her arms over her chest, “and yet you never showed.”
Seonghwa started to panic once more, worried that he would lose you if things weren’t settled soon. Rushing up to Youmin, he grabbed her shoulders, looking down at her with wide eyes.
“You have to call y/n now, I’ll apologize, I swear. I lost track of time, and my phone was on silent.” His words came out in a rushed jumble.
Youmin scoffed, shoving his hands away from her before taking a step back. Her eyes studied the absolute look of horror that settled on his features, a strange sense of pride swelling in her chest, knowing that he was suffering the way he had made you suffer for so long.
“She’s gone, Seonghwa, and won’t be back for a long time,” She started before taking a step forward to press her finger against his chest roughly, “and it’s too late to apologize, you’ve already lost her.”
Then, with that, she walked away, leaving Seonghwa standing there in absolute disbelief. Tears started to flow from his eyes as the weight of his actions started to fall onto his shoulders.
Breaking down, he fell to his knees with a cry, begging to have another chance to make things right. To see you one last time, but it was no use.
summary : was your relationship with san truly as perfect as everyone else believed?
genre : angst, no comfort, non idol au, college au, established relationship, unrequited love (-ish ?? to an extent)
warnings : toxic san, mentions of alcohol/drinking, cheating, cussing, pretty suggestive at some point, no explicit smut but sex is hinted at MDNI, pet names (babe/baby, pretty girl, pretty, angel), toxic relationship, emotional manipulation, emotional dependancy/unhealthy attachment, san needs a whole other warning for himself he’s evil af, not a single moment of genuine happiness i fear.. , poor reader she’s too blinded by love ;(( , lmk if there’s anymore!!
(in no way whatsoever am i glorifying or romanticizing any of the themes mentioned, this is purely a work of fiction)
wc : 4.7k
a/n : first angsty post who’s excited !!!! this fic was HEAVILY inspired by the song ‘no jam’ by milena, so i’d recommend having a listen before you read (doesn’t necessarily relate to the story but her voice is just way too good 🙏), as always i hope you enjoy<3
Relationships were curious things. From the outside, yours and San’s appeared perfect—a relationship people constantly admired.
Perhaps it was because San was naturally affectionate. He was always reaching for your hand in public, pulling you into his side, or pressing absent-minded kisses against your forehead when he thought no one was looking. He called you beautiful without hesitation. Smiled at you from across crowded rooms. Wrapped an arm around your waist as if it belonged there. To everyone else, he seemed completely in love.
You had to admit—he really was in love when you first started seeing each other. Since freshman year of college, the two of you had been head over heels, devoted to each other like nothing else in the world mattered.
Back then, loving San was effortless. He would wait for you outside lectures just to walk you back to your dorm. He’d remember the tiniest details you casually mentioned and bring them up weeks later with a grin, just to prove he’d been listening. Every spare moment was spent together, so entwined in each other’s lives that your friends started calling you a package deal.
Your love life had seemed unmatched, almost too perfect to be true. But, of course, all good things must eventually come to an end.
—
You couldn’t remember exactly when things started to change. Maybe it happened gradually; maybe it was so slow that neither of you noticed until it was too late. All you knew was that now, in your third year, you were still hopelessly in love, and San wasn’t.
The shift happened overtime, yet you could feel the harmony between you deteriorating, like sand slipping through your fingers no matter how tightly you held on. Meanwhile, San was still able to maintain the ‘ideal boyfriend’ image in front of everyone. Maybe that was why no one ever questioned it.
But nobody saw the unanswered messages sitting in your chat. No one saw the dates you planned, only for him to cancel at the last minute. Nobody noticed the way you waited for replies that never came, or how every conversation seemed to end with you making excuses for him. They didn’t see how much effort you put in to keep the relationship alive. They definitely didn’t see how little he did.
All they saw was the version of San that existed publicly—the charming boyfriend with an easy smile and unwavering affection. The only one who looked at you as if you hung the stars. The boyfriend who, at that very moment, had an arm draped lazily over your shoulders as you stood in a crowded lobby.
“You’re so lucky,” someone sighed beside you.
You forced a smile. San squeezed your shoulder gently, barely glancing away from the conversation he was having with a girl across the room. Lucky. Right. You wondered if she’d still think that if she knew how many times you’d cried over him—if she knew the true story.
—
EDM music from an artist you didn’t recognize blasted from the speakers, deafening you. It was hot and stuffy at the party you were currently at, and you wanted nothing more than to just go back home. You pushed through the sea of sweaty bodies, the stench of pure alcohol invading your senses, as you searched for the man you called your boyfriend. Usually, whenever you got too overwhelmed, you’d leave whatever stupid party you were at without telling him. It wasn’t like San cared, anyways. This time, however, you had a strong gut feeling, urging you to find him before you left.
Weaving through the ever-growing crowd, you craned your neck, trying to catch a glimpse of him between the shifting bodies and flashing lights. Every step felt heavier than the last, the noise pressing in on you from all sides until it blurred into a single, pounding pulse in your ears.
Suddenly, someone bumped into your shoulder. You quickly glanced up, only to be met with the face of San’s best friend, Wooyoung.
“Y/n? You alright?” He must’ve noticed the intensity in your face, as his voice was full of worry.
“Yeah, fine.” You said a little dismissively. “Listen—do you know where San is?”
Confusion was evident in his features. “San? No, sorry. To be honest, I thought he’d be with you.”
“Oh, right.” You paused, “Well, we were together. I just went to the bathroom, and now I’ve lost him in the crowd.” The lie slipped past your lips much easier than you had liked to admit. Truthfully, you and San had separated as soon as you set foot in the frat house. He often trailed off on his own to find his friends or whatever new girl piqued his interest, leaving you all alone, every single time.
Wooyoung—having known both you and San long enough to recognize when something was off—looked completely unconvinced. His expression turned sharp, the easygoing concern in his eyes fading into something more knowing.
A beat had passed, and just as you were about to say goodbye, he suddenly spoke up. “Hey, by the way, I was wondering…” He shifted his weight uncomfortably between his feet, “Is everything alright between you and San?”
The question caught you off guard. It was the first time someone had ever questioned your relationship—at least, to your face. You hesitated, “Does it…not look okay?”
He must’ve mistaken your nervousness for something more like hurt, as he quickly stumbled out, “I-It’s not like that! I just meant, you’ve been acting really differently recently. More…withdrawn, I guess. Thought maybe you and San were having problems.”
You felt like the air was knocked out of your lungs. Wooyoung had always been observant—you knew that—but it still felt like he was exposing the contents of your heart for the whole party to see.
“We’re not.” You just barely managed through gritted teeth.
Wooyoung, sensing your tense demeanor, panicked once again. “I… It’s—whatever, just, forget I said anything.” He studied your face for a second longer, his expression softening.
“You know, if you can’t find San…” He glanced at the crowd before looking back at you, ears turning slightly pink. “You could always just hang with me for a bit.” The offer was casual, almost too casual. Yet something about the hopeful look in his eyes made your chest tighten.
“Wooyoung…” You almost accepted his offer. Almost. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
The hopeful look disappeared so quickly you almost missed it. “Oh.” Wooyoung forced a smile. “Right. Of course.” The disappointed glint in his eyes only lasted for a second before he masked it, but it was enough. Enough for that familiar realization to settle heavily in your chest.
You weren’t stupid. You’d noticed the fleeting glances he’d send you sometimes, knew he cared about you more than he probably should. He’d definitely figured out the growing distance between you and San, even if neither of you acknowledged it out loud. And sometimes, in moments like these, you wondered what would happen if you stopped pretending not to see it.
But deep down, you knew it would never happen. Every single cell in your body responded to San, and San alone, no matter how much you wished it didn’t sometimes. Maybe it was pathetic, or maybe it was love. At this point, you weren’t even sure there was a difference.
“Well, see you later, Y/n.” The look in his eyes was almost painful, hidden away behind his familiar, yet tense, smile.
“Bye, Wooyoung.” You half-whispered. As much as you’d have wanted to stay with him, every instinct in your body screamed otherwise—you had to find San.
You offered Wooyoung one last apologetic glance before turning away, disappearing back into the crowd before he had the chance to say anything else.
The bass thumped against your chest as you pushed through clusters of people. Someone nearly spilled their drink on you. Another person stumbled into your side, laughing drunkenly as their friend dragged them away. You barely noticed any of it, mind drifting elsewhere.
You thought of the disappointment on Wooyoung’s face. The genuine warmth and sincerity that had been tucked behind such a simple offer. You shook your head—now wasn’t the time.
You searched what seemed like everywhere in the house for San. Sighing, you checked your phone—of course, not a single call or text from him since you had arrived at the party. No indication that your boyfriend even remembered you existed tonight. Your jaw tightened as you began to climb the stairs to the second floor, still scrolling through your phone. Immediately, your head began making up excuses for him—maybe his phone died and he just couldn’t find a charger? Maybe he had too much to drink, he was a lightweight after all.
You had finally reached the top staircase, hand still on the banister as you looked up from your phone with a gasp. There, standing at the end of the hallway, was San, passionately making out with some random girl you’d never seen. You’d come across a scene like this a hundred times before, always with a new girl, yet it never failed to make your blood run cold.
The girl’s hands were tangled in his black hair, gripping the strands between her fingers, as San’s hands wandered around her body. Her back, her hips, her ass—not a single inch of skin was left untouched.
You couldn’t bear to watch any longer. “Choi San, what the fuck.” You hissed out.
At the sound of your voice, he froze. The girl’s hands immediately fell away from him as both of them turned to look at you. San’s expression turned from confused, to shocked, to panicked in seconds.
“You cannot be kidding me, San, what is wrong with you?” You glanced once more at the girl he was previously kissing, who had slowly been making her way to the staircase, then flicked your attention back to San.
“Babe, I—”
You raised your hand, “Don’t start.” Your entire body felt like it was on fire, tears threatening to fall. Before he could say another word, you quickly rushed into whatever empty room you could find, door slamming shut behind you. You dropped onto the edge of the bed, burying your face in your hands as you fought to steady your breathing. Outside, muffled voices echoed through the walls. You could just barely make out San’s voice, low and hurried, followed by the sound of footsteps approaching, and the door opening and closing.
“Baby…I’m sorry.” San’s voice was soft and gentle, like he was handling a wounded animal.
“No, San, you always apologize like it was nothing. I can’t take it anymore.” You sniffled behind your hands.
“Can we at least talk about this? Properly? Please, just look at me.” His voice sounded so pure. Each syllable was dipped in honey, gentle enough to soothe wounds he was responsible for creating in the first place. If you closed your eyes, you could almost pretend this was a different night entirely. A different San—one who loved you the way you loved him.
Your throat tightened as you slowly lifted your head. His smile which followed was almost too sweet. “There’s my pretty girl.”
You couldn’t help the way your breath hitched. For a split second, everything else faded into the background—the party downstairs, the tears burning behind your eyes, the image of him with another girl just minutes ago. San knew exactly what he was doing, he always did.
His gaze softened as he looked at you, and suddenly he wasn’t the boy you’d caught cheating. He was the boy who pressed kisses to your forehead, who looked at you like you were the only girl in the world, the boy you loved. And that was what made this so difficult—no matter how much he hurt you, moments like this reminded you why you’d always stay.
A small, almost relieved smile tugged at the corner of his lips when he noticed your expression soften. The realization made something ugly twist in your chest, but as always, you chose to ignore it.
You saw San lock the door behind him as he carefully made his way towards you on the bed. I’m so, so sorry angel.” He hummed.
Slowly, he stepped closer and closer, until he stopped right in front of you. He began to kneel on the floor, slotting his body in between your legs while resting his arms around your waist. As his hands fumbled with the fabric of your top, he seemed completely unfazed, still focused on his apologies.
“You know I’d never do anything to hurt you like that, right? Never on purpose. I just wanna be with you, and only you, baby.” You looked into his eyes, which held a deep intensity you hadn’t seen in a long time. He continued on, “I guess I drank too much—my mind went hazy for a second. But I swear, it meant nothing.”
You knew the first part wasn’t a lie—you could smell the indistinct scent of alcohol coming from him—but for the rest, you weren’t sure if it was fabricated or not. Nevertheless, your heart raced as he continued to stare at you with such a loving gaze. His expression held genuine guilt behind his beautiful features, even if you expected it to be mostly out of pity.
“Please, forgive me?”
You hated how easily he could convince you.
The hurt was still there, sitting heavy in your chest. One apology couldn’t erase what you’d seen ten minutes ago, Yet as you looked at him, all soft and trembling hands, it became impossible to ignore the truth—you were still in love with him. Part of you wanted to push him away, whilst the other part was already beginning to cave.
You weren’t sure what took over you then, as you carefully moved forward to catch his lips in a kiss. San was also surprised, as his body faltered for a second, before melting into it. Your hands grabbed at his hair, tugging at it the way you knew he liked. A subtle groan escaped him as he pulled your waist closer. The kiss started off as soft, but soon developed into something deeper, more passionate. Despite not having a single drop of alcohol the entire night, you found yourself quickly getting drunk off of the taste of San’s lips.
Soon, you both pulled back for air, panting. San’s hair was disheveled, and his plump lips only made you want to devour more of him. He seemed to have understood your excitement, as he let out a gentle laugh. He shifted so that his head was now resting below your skirt, on your bare thigh, looking up at you through his lashes.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad at you..” You muttered, trying to ignore the way butterflies erupted in your stomach at the sight of him.
“I know, angel,” he replied, but you noticed how his sharp eyes suddenly darkened, a hint of desire hidden within them. He brought a hand from your waist, opting to place it on the inside of your other thigh, tracing small shapes just below where your skirt ended.
“How about,” he continued. “You let me make it up to you?”
Warmth crept up your neck, “How would you do that?”
“Why don’t you let me show you?” As he spoke, his hand trailed higher and higher up your thigh, making the air catch in your throat. His face suddenly softened, carefully searching yours. “Only if you want to, of course.”
You nodded, but that didn’t satisfy San. He frowned, “Nope. If you want it, you’ve got to use your words.”
“Please, Sannie.” You pleaded, voice barely above a whisper.
San’s lips curled into a beautiful grin. He picked his head up from your lap and now placed both of his hands on your thighs, slowly spreading your legs apart. He allowed himself to shift his face closer between them, placing featherlight kisses along the skin, eyes never once leaving yours.
“Alright, pretty. Let Sannie show you just how much I love you.”
—
For the next few days, you existed in a blissful haze. San was attentive again, slipping effortlessly back into the role of the boyfriend you had fallen in love with. His hand found yours without thinking, his arm wrapped around your waist whenever the two of you stood together, and he’d make up childish excuses just to kiss you. It was familiar—comforting. The kind of affection you’d spent weeks desperately searching for in every glance and touch, It was almost as if everything was finally falling back into place.
Deep down, however, you knew better than to trust it.
This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. It had become a pattern over the course of your relationship—one that was so painfully mundane that you could practically predict each step before it happened: San would mess up, there would be tears, apologies and promises that thing things would change. Then, for a little while, he’d become everything you’d been missing. Affectionate, gentle, present.
And every single time, you let yourself believe his facade. Not because you were naive enough to think that things would stay this way forever, but because these moments were becoming increasingly rare. You had learned to cling to them while they lasted, greedily soaking up every ounce of affection he offered before it inevitably slipped away again.
Maybe that was why you didn’t allow yourself to dwell on the voice in the back of your head warning you not to get too comfortable. Instead, you focused on the way his fingers intertwined with yours when you walked together. The way he’d pull you into his side when watching a movie. The way he’d look at you and smile as though you were still the most important person in the world.
You knew this version of San wouldn’t last. But for now, he was here, and that was more than enough for you.
A soft laugh escaped your lips as San suddenly reached over and snatched your phone from your hands.
“San.” You called, “Give it back.”
“No.”
You stared at him in disbelief as he held it above his head, entirely out of your reach. “Why are you like this.”
“Because,” he replied matter-of-factly, “you’ve been staring at that thing for twenty minutes instead of paying attention to me.”
You let out a laugh. “I thought you were going to study?”
“Well, I got bored of it now.” He pouted.
You shook your head laughing, before sneakily pouncing to retrieve your phone back. Grinning, San effortlessly dodged you. Before you could try again, he hooked an arm around your waist and pulled you directly into his lap.
A startled squeak escaped you. “San! Give me my phone!”
He replied once again, “No.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to spend time with my girlfriend.”
You rolled your eyes despite the warmth blooming in your chest. “I am spending time with you.”
“No, you were scrolling.” He huffed. “There’s a very big difference.”
You shook your head, unable to suppress your smile. The look on San’s face only gentled even further.
“I love your smile, did you know that?”
“What?” Your eyes widened, flustered from the sudden compliment. The words hit you with an embarrassing ease, leaving your cheeks instantly flushed.
You hated how, only a few days ago, you had been lying awake wondering whether he even wanted to be around you anymore. Now, all it took was a single sentence to make your heart stumble over itself.
San’s hand found yours, absent-mindedly playing with your fingers. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
“Nothing.” You replied, a little too quickly.
“Liar.”
“I’m serious!”
He hummed, unconvinced, before pressing a quick kiss to the side of your head. You knew better than to get used to this, than to believe this version of him would stay. But as you settled against his chest and felt his arms tighten around you, you allowed yourself to ignore those thoughts for a little while longer.
—
Two weeks.
San had lasted two weeks, before reverting back to his old ways.
There you were, standing in the middle of his friend’s living room, as you watched him flirt with that same girl from the other night. His body was way too close to hers, and he was smiling—that charismatic, effortless smile that used to be reserved just for you.
Your stomach dropped,
For a moment, you wondered if you were imagining it. If maybe you were overthinking things again. Maybe they were just talking. Maybe you were being dramatic.
But then the girl laughed, placing a hand on his arms. San didn’t move away, and you felt the ache in your chest sharpen.
Honestly, part of you wanted to blame yourself for the heartbreak—of course, you saw it coming, yet you still allowed yourself to become enticed by the loving act he put on for you. You’d fallen for his charming demeanor and effortless passion once again. You’d always let yourself believe the next time would be different, and the realization stung more than it should have.
A lump formed in your throat. You quickly looked away, blinking hard as your vision began to blur. The last thing you needed was to break down in the middle of a birthday party.
Without another glance in San’s direction, you grabbed your bag from the arm of the couch and headed towards the front door,
“Hey.”
You froze. Of course someone had noticed you. Turning around, you found Wooyoung standing a few feet away, his brows furrowed with concern.
“You okay?” He asked carefully.
The question nearly made you laugh out of spite. All you wanted to do was shout out how worthless you felt, but you couldn’t. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin San’s—and your own—reputation. Instead, you forced a smile onto your face. You nodded, not yet trusting yourself to speak without letting the tears flow.
Wooyoung immediately frowned. “No, you’re not.”
Your grip tightened around the strap of your bag. “I’m fine.” You winced at the way your voice trembled, and you could tell Wooyoung noticed it too.
“You look like you’re about to cry.”
Heat flooded to your face. Instinctively, you looked away. “I’m just tired.” It was a weak excuse and you knew it. The kind neither of you even bothered to believe.
Wooyoung was quiet for a moment. His eyes briefly drifted past your shoulder, towards the other side of the room. Towards San. When he looked back at you, something in his expression changed. You hated that he was beginning to understand your problems, possibly even more than you. If he was able to eventually figure it out on his own, you could only imagine the whispers you’d get from other people behind your back.
He glanced at San once more. In Wooyoung’s eyes, you could’ve sworn you saw a hint of resentment, but it quickly disappeared within the flurry of emotions brewing in his irises.
“It’s nothing,” you said quickly. “Really.”
“It doesn’t seem like nothing.” He argued back.
You swallowed hard. The pressure behind your eyes was becoming impossible to ignore—if you stayed here any longer, you were going to cry, and there was no way you were giving yourself the chance to do that. Not when there were so many people around. Not when San’s own best friend was worrying for you. It would tarnish the perfect image you had so carefully built with San.
Forcing another smile, you shook your head. “I’m okay. I think I’m just gonna head home.”
Wooyoung looked like he wanted to say something else. Instead, he sighed. “Do you want me to call San over?”
“No.” The answer came out far too fast. A brief silence followed as Wooyoung studied your face more intently, as if searching for a way to get you to tell him what was really wrong. His brows pulled together slightly, concern evident in his expression. You looked away before you could crack.
“Seriously, I’m fine,” you said, forcing out a laugh that sounded far less convincing than you’d hoped. “You know how exhausted I get from parties. Thanks for worrying, though.”
Wooyoung didn’t look like he believed you for a second. Still, he didn’t push. Maybe because he knew you wouldn’t tell him the truth, or maybe because he already knew it. Either way, he eventually sighed, taking a small step back.
“Okay,” he said quietly. “Get home safe, yeah?”
Relief and guilt washed over you in equal measure. You nodded quickly, “I will.”
Without giving him the chance to say anything else, you turned and headed for the front door, your hands burning around the strap of your bag. The second you stepped outside, the smile slipped from your face. The cool night air hit your skin, and the tears you’d been desperately holding back finally spilled over.
—
The moment you stepped through your front door, you broke.
You couldn’t remember making it to your bedroom. Couldn’t remember kicking off your shoes or dropping your bag somewhere on the floor. All you could remember was crying for what felt like hours.
By the time your tears finally slowed, your eyes burned and your chest ached from trying to hold everything together for so long. You sat there in the dark, the only thing accompanying you being your own, shallow breaths. Your phone sat beside you on the mattress, the screen lighting up every few minutes. Most of the messages came from people at the party:
Hope you’re alright.
Where’d you go?
Wooyoung had even asked “Did you get home fine?”
You ignored all of them.
Eventually, another notification appeared. Your heart betrayed you immediately. Because, despite everything, despite the tears and the heartbreak and the humiliation, a part of you still hoped it would be him. You craned your neck to see, and your breath hitched as you saw San’s contact flash on your screen.
san 🤍 : u left?
You stared at the message. That was all. No apology or concern. Just a simple question. As though he hadn’t spent the entire evening making you feel invisible—like nothing had happened at all.
You should’ve been angry. Instead, your chest tightened with something far more miserable—relief. Because he’d noticed you were gone. Because he’d texted. Because some small, foolish part of you still craved every scrap of attention he gave you.
Your fingers hovered over the screen—you knew this cycle, knew exactly how it would go. Tomorrow, he’d be sweet again, maybe even apologize as he kissed your hairline and ran his fingers through your hair. He’d hold your hand and make you believe things were getting better. And of course, you’d let him, just like you always did.
It was pathetic, you knew it was.
You knew that one text message shouldn’t have been enough to soothe the ache in your chest, that tomorrow’s affection wouldn’t erase today’s heartbreak. Yet even now, staring at the screen through tear-blurred eyes, you couldn’t help but yearn for it.
You realized very quickly that, despite your constant pain and suffering, you could never leave San. He may not have loved you as much as you loved him—heck, you weren’t sure if he even loved you at all—but you could handle it. You’d desperately cling to every sweet, fleeting fragment of attention he occasionally offered, even if it disappeared just as quickly as it came. Your heart craved him too deeply to let him go.
For as long as you could bear it, you would endure his neglect, his wandering affections, and every heartbreak that came with them. You would ignore every warning sign as you continued to offer every last piece of yourself to him on a silver platter, while he gave you nothing in return. No matter how little of you remained, you would always find something left to give to him.
And when people asked about the two of you, you’d keep up the act. You’d let San sling an arm around your shoulders and kiss your temple. You’d laugh at the right moments, hold his hand, pretend you couldn’t feel the cracks spreading beneath your feet.
Ever faithful, you’d stay by his side, smiling as though you were the picture-perfect couple.
Summary: You're just trying your best to get through college and stay on track; all of that gets ruined when you meet your new lab partner, Mingi, who has more than a couple skeletons in his closet.
Pairing: fwb!mingi x female!reader
Genre: angst | non-idol au | college au | smut | fluff
Rating: 18+
Word Count: 17.1k
Content Warnings: cursing, nicknames (princess, good girl), pinv, unsafe sex (don't do dat), oral sex f!receiving, fingering, panty sniffing (?), sensitive!mingi, mingi is v vocal and big yapper, mingi whimpering, hairpulling, shower sex, praise (lowkey), degradation (very lowkey), bigdick!mingi, marking, overstim, lmk if i forgot anything
Previous part; Masterlist
Author's note: As always I'm late asf and I owe someone my unborn children but thank you all for interacting w/ me sm and pushing me to write. Trauma dump time: as some may know, me and bf of 6 years broke up not too long ago so it's kinda hard to write about romance when you're questioning your own experiences with it, yk? That aside, school is sm, mcat is terrible, I hate med school, I hate the us med school application, but on a positive note, i love yall. Keep messaging me, everyone's keeping me sane rn! <3 hope yall like this part, I had sm fun writing it so pls enjoy and forgive me for being late but I'd rather put out something that I think is good as opposed to just anything. Tell me if it sucks tho lol, be so fr. Keep supporting this series and me thank you love you!! <3
Recap: After you worked up the courage to confess your feelings, you were rejected by a guy who got on his knees and begged you to hang out with him.
Up to this point in your life, there have only been two romantic relationships, both of which ended with someone telling you they don’t want you. You hate to say it, but it might be time to throw in the towel. After you brazenly told Mingi you wanted to be serious with him, and he flat-out said no, you went down a crazy spiral within the span of one hour. The second you got back to your apartment, you threw the jacket he gave you in the trash and blocked his number, email, and Instagram. The whole time, you were crying. You’re not sure if it was the alcohol or the sheer flood of emotions you were feeling, but you’ve never been so devastated. The internet was right: those 2–3-month-long situationships really do ruin your life. This hurt way more than your relationship breakup. Hysterical, you left without even thinking. Just grabbed your keys and drove home that night after pacing around your apartment for 15 minutes, overthinking every interaction you’ve ever had with him. While driving, you were crying so hard that you could barely see the road. Since you left your apartment without a second thought, all you have left to wear is your high school wardrobe. You do have the option to go back to your apartment since you live so close, but the thought of seeing him makes you wanna die. Not even trying to be dramatic, you have never been rejected like that. Obviously, you’ll recover, but, as with all things, this will take time.
For the first three days of your winter break, you’ve been locked in your room watching your comfort show, doom scrolling, and not showering. You didn’t have the heart to tell your friends what happened, but they eventually found out through the grapevine. They all dropped by one by one the next morning to try and make you feel better, but it was a pity party and left you feeling worse. You assured them that you were fine and this was just a slump that you’d be out of in no time. In actuality, you are so devastated that you cry for 20 minutes whenever someone brings him up. Today, while on your fifth hour of doom scrolling, you notice an Instagram ad for a new matcha café that opened up by your house. While rotting has been decently comfortable, you’re sick of wallowing in your self-pity and grossness. Today’s the day you’ll leave your room, with a matcha as your reward. You sit up in your bed and wipe all the crust off your face. You can’t stay sad and disgusting forever. So, you promptly rush to your bathroom to take an everything-shower and put on a cute outfit, in hopes that “look good, feel good” is real. Sentimentality isn’t your forte, but everything really does remind you of him, even the shower. You shed, maybe, three tears when washing your hair, thinking about that one time he washed your hair. When you’re doing your hair, you see hints and traces of him littered all over your chest and neck. The small hickeys and bruises fading away with every passing moment.
By the time you’re done with your hair, your body is mostly dry. You take out a pair of jeans and an old sweater, knowing you’re going to bulge at every seam. To your surprise, a pair of your favorite high school jeans still fit, but the sweater is a no-go. You take a second to check yourself out in the mirror. Your ass looks great, but even a fat ass isn’t making you feel better. To find a decent top, you have to rummage through your mom’s closet to find a normal-looking sweater. You settle for a black turtleneck with a hole at the back of the neck. Good enough.
Without texting any of your friends to come with, you leave your house, deciding it’s an alone day. Next semester is your last in college, and with the way you’ve been setting up your class schedule, it’s the lightest load you’ve had these past four years. You smile to yourself as you drive, thinking about all the free time you’ll have to do… something, probably. Well, at least now you’ll have time to actually develop a hobby. That’s something to look forward to.
The café was only an eight-minute drive away from your house. You don’t really have a preference between tea and coffee but you love a sweet drink. The café has a lovely, comfortable ambience with warm lighting, and a few seats, enough for people to study or hang out. There’s a relief in the thought that you’re in your hometown and won’t be seeing anyone from college. Every time you want to avoid Mingi you end up seeing him somewhere in public, so you’ve been very dodgy about going outside. You wait in line behind a group of teenagers as you scan through the menu online. This place is already very popular and they’ve only been open a week or so. All of a sudden, the group in front of you starts laughing and startles you. To give yourself some space you take a step back and step on the foot of the guy standing behind you. “Oh! I’m so sorry–” just as you turn around to apologize, you stumble over the stranger’s feet and suddenly fall backwards into him. Right when you muster up the courage to go outside, you go and embarrass yourself. “It’s fine, y/n.” The universe must be mocking you because while you were praying to avoid Mingi, you should’ve also prayed to avoid his best friend. The same guy who’s smiling because you fell on him. “Nice seeing you again.” You snatch yourself away from him and stand up straight.
“Hey Yunho…”
“Damn, okay. I didn’t think you’d be that upset to see me “
“Can you blame me?”
“I figured as much, that’s why I wasn’t going to bother you, but guess I got lucky.” The group of kids in front of you finishes ordering and moves out of the way. You turn around and walk up to the kiosk to select a drink. Just when you’re about to hit the checkout button, Yunho hits the “return to menu” button and scrolls through the options. You look over your shoulder to find him towering over you, his frame leaning against yours very comfortably. You’re guessing the kiss made him feel extra acquainted with you given how he’s so comfortable initiating physical contact right now. While a gorgeous guy touching you is definitely a good omen, you are freshly heartbroken.
“What are you doing?”
“Picking a drink.”
“There’s another kiosk.”
“Meh, this one’s fine.”
“Yunho, I don’t know what you’re doing–”
“Then, let me just get a drink.” You try to nudge him away from you, but he doesn’t budge, and you end up hurting your arm instead. He laughs watching you rub your bicep, “You really thought that would work? “
“Shut up.” He picks a drink and returns to the checkout page, you step up with your card, but he stands between you and the machine.
“It’s fine, consider it an exchange.“ You take a second to gawk at him and step maybe a foot away.
“An exchange for what?” He laughs again and quickly pays.
“Not the kind you’re thinking about. God, you and Mingi really are similar.” Before you can scold him for that comparison, he leads the way over to a free seating area. You take a seat beside him on an open couch, and he settles into his spot, crossing his arms. “Now, what happened with you and Mingi?”
“Ugh, I don’t wanna talk about–wait, he didn’t tell you?”
“He’s been refusing to speak to me, I wonder why.”
You gasp, “I can’t believe he’s victim-blaming.” You thought you whispered that but he chuckles. It doesn’t make any sense for him to punish Yunho for something you did.
“It’s fine. I’m not too worried about him. He’s always like that. After you guys fought, he came back and went straight to his room. I tried talking to him but he ignored me and left. I haven’t heard from him since, I was wondering if you knew–”
“I don’t.”
“Oh…” As he registers the news, they call your order number and he stands up to go get the drinks. It’s been four days and he still hasn’t told anyone? That’s really weird. Then again, what would he tell everyone? That he rejected you? Your fight caused a pretty big commotion. You’re sure a bunch of people heard everything you two said. You sigh thinking about how you’re just another crazy Mingi story now–“Well, don’t look too happy.”
“Oh, thanks.” You grab your drink out of his hands and place it on the coaster on the coffee table in front of you. “What are you doing here anyway? Isn’t your hometown a little bit farther?”
“Okay, stalker.”
“Shut up, Mingi told me.”
“Haha, yeah, makes sense. I just finished grading some papers for a class I TA for, so I’m heading home now. I saw this place as I was driving so I stopped in.”
“Really?”
“No y/n, I saw your car and did a stunt jump off a ramp on the freeway so I could meet you here. On my Spider-Man shit.”
“Aw, all that just to matcha and yap?” You take a sip of your drink, and your mood instantly improves. Yunho watches you light up and giggles to himself.
“Is it that good?” You warmly nod. He sips his drink while ruminating on something, “You seriously haven’t heard from him?”
“Do you think I’m keeping him captive in my basement or something?”
“I mean, it sounds like something he’d be into. “
“Who knows?”
“…you’d know, y/n.” You gently slap his arm.
“Shut up, that’s in the past now. Besides, I don’t think he’s worried about me, he rejected me.” You’re too busy having war flashbacks to notice the familiar look of sympathy on Yunho’s face. One way or another, you’ve somehow ended up complaining to Yunho about another man. He stares at you sipping your drink with a twinge of sadness plastered across your soft features. It makes his heart ache to see you go through one bad situation after another. Still looking away, thinking about that world-shattering rejection, you don’t register that Yunho is sitting closer to you.
“Hey, I’m not sure if this means anything to you, but he was really upset that night. I think he cried…” he places the gentle, consoling hand on your shoulder, but you swat him away.
“I don’t give a fuck! He literally told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship, word-for-word, when I asked him for something serious!” A few people seated around the two of you are now staring in your direction. If they were there, they’d get it. After Mingi made a fool of you and you made a fool of yourself, you poured your bleeding heart out to him just for him to tell you that the entire relationship, that he was so insistent on preserving, was a prank. The crushed hopes is one thing, but the public humiliation? That’s the worst part of this whole situation. You start to tear up thinking about it. These aren’t tears of sadness, but of anger. God, you really feel like a loser right now. It feels like you got used.
Yunho’s expression immediately drops once he sees you staring at the floor with fat droplets of tears building in your lower lash line. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was–” You sniffle and look to the side, he silently hands you a tissue that you take to rid yourself of the melancholy.
“I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” You sniffle again in hopes of sucking some tears back into your eyes, but that’s not how that works. “I know you’re worried about your friend, but I really wanna put all of this behind me. It’s already embarrassing enough.” He looks at you with a strained expression.
“Hey, I’m really sorry. I had no idea he said that…” That’s shocking. You assumed after the argument, he went back inside to tell everyone you were another psycho bitch and it just wasn’t working; or at least that’s the narrative you created in your head. “We all just kinda assumed you dumped him because–you know, you kissed me.” You look at your feet, avoiding his gaze and the shame. You forgot you forcefully kissed Yunho, and you’re sitting here venting to him about his best friend after you may have ruined their friendship. Jeez, you’re really on a terrible person streak. Since you’re already getting everything off your chest, it might be good to tackle that “shame” as well.
“Yunho, I’m really sorry about...kissing–”
“No, it’s fine. I didn’t–Mingi was actually more distraught than me.” You scoff.
“Distraught? What does he have to be distraught about? Rejecting me? Piece of shit.” The last few sentences come out as mumbles and grumbles.
He looks at you, all tenderhearted, you know he means well but this is starting to feel like another pity party. You look at him, “What?”
“Nothing. I don’t believe that he rejected you, y/n.”
“Welp, I don’t know what to tell you–”
“I mean, he really likes you.”
“So?”
“I don’t know, I’m just shocked.”
“Ugh, do you wanna talk about something else or you wanna keep going with this Mingi thing?”
“We can talk about something else but this is kinda juicy.”
“Okay, well, I’m done with all this. Thanks for the drink. I’ll see you on campus.” Sliding your keys and phone into the pocket of your beige winter coat, you stand up to leave. Seeing you get up so suddenly has Yunho rushing to block your way, “I’ll walk you to your car. For old time’s sake.” You smile, mildly amused by his strange actions and lead the way outside. As you’re walking, you think about how well-orchestrated this meeting between you and Yunho is. There’s also the fact that he tried to convince you to give Mingi another chance. You might be reaching, but why does this feel like an elaborate ploy? “You sure this is all just a coincidence? You running into me here?”
“No such thing as coincidences when you’re Spider-Man.” The words come out so casually from his mouth that you actually believe him for a second.
“What? What’re you talking about?” You laugh.
“Y/n chill, I just fuck with matcha.” You nod and then your acknowledgment turns into laughter.
“You’re so stupid.” You unlock your car, grab the handle, and pause before getting in. Turning around to look at Yunho one more time, you send him a sincere, genuine smile, “Thanks for hearing me out… as always.”
“Yeah, I got you. I love drama.”
“I’ll see you on campus?”
“Yeah, hopefully less drama then.” You giggle and enter your car. In addition to being tall and decently hot, you forgot that Yunho was also a good friend. Meeting Mingi has made you so lustful. You watch him walk to his car in the rearview mirror, then turn your car on and make your way home. While you are still sad about the whole Mingi problem, talking it out has definitely helped you see that you’re not missing out on anything. Maybe just a good fuck.
Later at night, you find yourself lying awake in bed, thinking about why you’re so upset when you barely even know the guy. It’s because Mingi brings out a different side of you. It’s a side of yourself you rarely explore, which is why he’s so addicting. He has you doing and saying things you would never even conjure a thought of. Being with him was exciting because you got to discover a new version of you, a very sexual one, but still new. It wasn’t just about the sex either, as much as you would’ve liked it to be. You also genuinely valued the connection you and Mingi had. He made you feel special—sexy, even. All the positive thoughts of Mingi fade when you realize you’re not the only girl who’s felt like this. From everything you’ve heard, he always makes girls feel special until he gets bored with them and moves on to the next one. Just a terrible cycle that only benefits him. When you think of it that way, it really puts into perspective that he’s not the person you thought he was. He’s actually the person he assured you he wasn’t. You’re mostly upset you gave him the benefit of the doubt. You won’t punish yourself for believing in the good of someone else, so while the hurt is still present, you must keep moving forward.
Not bringing any clothes is really the worst idea you’ve had in a while, either nothing fits or everything makes you look ten pounds heavier. Your friends are meeting up for your annual gift exchange, and you have nothing to wear. Your mom offered you some more of her cardigans; at this point, you have no choice. You’re all meeting today to build a gingerbread house so you’re gonna have to settle for your mom’s sweater and a pair of jeans that barely fit. This outfit has become your uniform ever since you came back.
Now that you don’t have to worry about school as much and there’s nothing to distract you from the shitty aspects of your life, all you can think about is Mingi. That might have been the one interesting thing in your life…jeez you really do need hobbies. You sigh as you walk up the steps to your friend’s porch. Ever since your fight with Mingi, whenever you think about him, you feel a dull heartache resonate through your body. You take a second before going inside to soothe your melancholy. As soon as you walk into your friend’s house, “Hey, I’m here,” it feels like the room goes silent. Everyone stops what they’re doing for a second and stares at you, not just a presence-acknowledging stare, but a lingering one. They already know what went on so why so awkward? “Guys… what’s up?” You awkwardly remove your jacket and scarf, placing them on the rack. They all send you sympathetic smiles and shaky “hi"s. “Oh my god! I know you guys know what happened. You guys are so bad at being subtle.” You slam yourself down on the couch, laughing but exacerbated. One of your friends brings the gingerbread house box to the coffee table and sits next to you. “Pookie, don’t be like that. We wanna make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.” Your tone softens up because you realize that they’re trying to be sensitive to your feelings. She places a hand on your shoulder and you put yours over it, “Seriously, I’m good.” The way everyone is stepping on eggshells around you makes you more aware of the fact that a guy who was into you first rejected you. Another friend brings a tray of drinks to the table and everyone else follows behind her, gathering around you. You lean forward to check what kind of beverage it is, you snatch up a mug when you see hot chocolate. You’ve had enough alcohol during the semester, it’s time to give your liver a break.
“Girl, we know you’re fine, it’s just shitty of him to do that to you.”
“Yeah…it was really shitty but I’ll be fine, seriously.”
“Listen, you’re allowed to be upset. We’re not judging you.”
“I know you guys aren’t–”
“We’re just worried because we know how you are. Don’t blame yourself for this…” All of a sudden you have no more words to deny their pushing. This whole time you’ve just been thinking about how your friends were right and how you should’ve heeded everyone’s warnings. Even though you know they’d never judge you, it’s hard for you to admit they were right. You can’t help but tear up thinking about it, clenching your jaw. “I didn’t even like him that much. I only said that we should be serious because I thought…” You pause, feeling that heartache. “I-I just thought we had something–more between us, y’know–“Before you can even finish that sentence everyone hugs you.
“It’s not your fault for thinking that.”
” I know,” you sniffle and swipe away a tear or two, “I guess, it’s just hard to understand why because I didn’t think–things would end like that.” The pauses are necessary for you to maintain your composure and keep tears from spilling.
“Yeah, we understand.” One of the friends hugging you rubs your shoulder to comfort you. “I’m really not trying to bother you, y/n. I know how upset you are about this but not talking about it and saying ‘you’re fine’ will just make it worse.”
“Yeah, y/n, you’re not alone. We’ve all been through this. How many times have you had to hug us like this?” You look down as a tear runs down your cheek, quickly wiping it away. You nod, and a smile creeps onto your tear-stained face. Your friends take a couple more minutes taking turns to give you words of comfort, advice, and general support; all except one person. Everyone turns to look at the one friend, the one who accompanied you to the party, who’s been silently rubbing your knee this whole time.
“–Oh. Girl, fuck him and his goofy ass face. Let’s build this house.” Everyone laughs. While that may seem abrupt and insensitive to everyone else, it was what you needed to hear right now. You said this to yourself, Yunho, your friends, and basically anyone who knows about the situation, you’re ready to put all of this behind you. You don’t necessarily mean to elude your feelings; you barely got over your last heartbreak, only to fall into another. You wanna be free from someone else making you feel like shit. You need to find hobbies or some sort of distraction to get through this. Upon being handed a frosting tube, you begin laying down some foundation for the house.
You’re not sure why you forgot that building a gingerbread house sucks, but the second you started, you immediately remembered how much you hate doing it. The house fell apart multiple times until you gave up and started eating whatever frosting was left in your tube. “Y/n, I talked to that promoter I know and we’re leaving at 8 for New Year’s. So put that in your schedule or whatever.” You giggle because of how thoughtful she is. You begged her to finalize the New Year’s plans because you wanted to plan the day before and after.
“8? Isn’t that super early?”
“We need to pick up our wristbands. Don’t forget the dress, I want to take a picture of all of us with the skyline before it gets too crowded.” You slap your hand against your forehead because this is something you’re also not sure you forgot. The entire friend group decided to wear semi–matching dresses for New Year’s. You guys are going to some rooftop. One of your roommates, the one who knows every bartender, promoter, and bouncer ever, managed to get you guys into a New Year’s eve party. The theme is Y2K, but you all said fuck that and went with the classic sparkly black dresses. Yours is absolutely gorgeous, it’s the only midi dress of the group, but it has a very high slit going right up to the point where your panties would show.
Sidenote aside, now you have to go back to your apartment because you forgot your entire party outfit. You frown thinking about that stupid fucking mysterious force that constantly has you bumping into Mingi whenever you don’t want to see him. It’s fine, it’ll just be a quick in and out. Plus, you need clothes for your family’s Christmas dinner, since wearing your mom’s clothes is starting to run its course. Your friends have already made fun of you twice. While everyone’s busy snapping photos of the fully decorated gingerbread house, you’re still stuck on the couch, licking the frosting spoon, thinking about how you can avoid Mingi at all costs. There’s no way he’d be in town for any reason but you just have to make sure. You decide to text Yunho to subtly get the scoop on Mingi’s latest whereabouts.
-Heyy
Staring at that awkward text, you realize you should’ve put more thought into how you’d start a conversation with him. When you see him typing, you nearly throw your phone across the room, but manage to control your reaction.
-hey what’s up??
-matcha yap round two??
You quietly chuckle thinking about him using the word “yap” so casually.
-Oh lol no
-Maybe but I’m just wondering if you’ve seen Mingi around lately?
He starts typing, then stops, then starts again. A full minute passes of you, staring at your screen way too intently waiting for him to give you a response.
-yeahh we’re together right now
You’re about to shit your heart and stomach out. You could not have chosen a worse time to text Yunho. Before you can change the topic of the conversation, Yunho sends you a selfie of him and Mingi playing a video game, with Mingi sitting next to him focused on the game. This is the longest you’ve gone without seeing him and God, does he look so good. He’s wearing a plaid button-up with a pair of black glasses. He has so many accessories, mostly different glasses, rings, and necklaces. You have a very distinct memory of Mingi removing his rings before you did it. His hair is a little puffy, swept to the side with a slight wave to it, he might’ve showered not too long ago. His hair naturally dries like that. He likes to leave it sometimes because some days he likes the “natural vibes”, as he describes it. The glasses are nearing the tip of his nose, possibly sliding off due to the angle. He’s sitting with his elbows on his knees, leaning forward, a controller in his hands. The large, ring-clad hands fully engulf the controller, and you remember just how big they are. How they fully wrapped around yours. Shit. You’ve been staring at the photo for too long. You should say something.
-Glad to see that you two made up
-aw is that why you texted???
-Yes I’m very worried about your friendship
-no need to worry
-Thank god
-thought you wanted to move on miss independent??🤨🤨
Is he suddenly funny or are you deathly nervous because you’re laughing at every text he sends?
-Nooo I was planning on heading back to my apartment and I didn’t want to run into him
-you’re safe miss independent
-Thank you kind sir
Kind sir? You were trying to be funny, but isn’t that kind of cringe? No no you must remain positive, it was hilarious. At least now you know it’s safe to go back to your apartment without having to worry about running into the devil himself.
“Y/n, join the festivities or we’re kicking you out.” It’s way too cold outside for them to even be threatening something like that. With haste, you hop off the couch and head over to the kitchen island to stand with your friends. At the same time, they continue to vie for whoever captures the most Instagram–worthy picture. You suck at taking photos, so you’re letting them handle this.
“So… Who were you texting?”
“No one–”
“Yeah, y/n. You never told us about that guy you kissed. Mr. Physics?” Your eyes widen, and your movements still. You peered over to the friend that accompanied you to the party. She immediately avoids eye contact, you narrow your eyes at her, but she still doesn’t look your way.
“I say you should’ve fucked him.” You gasp as the room fills with laughter. Rolling your eyes, you lean your head on one of your friend’s shoulders, helping her adjust the camera angle to the best of your ability.
On the drive home, you think about how hanging out with your friends is so healing after your self–imposed isolation. All that wallowing really did a number on your mood, edging you ever so closer into a seasonal depression. After today, you’ve successfully avoided that terrible outcome, even though this is your worst breakup yet, if you can even call it that. Once home and in your bedroom, you fall back on your bed and stare up at the ceiling. This whole time you’ve been feeling like you’re the one who made the mistake but you’re not at fault. He genuinely had no reason to lead you on like that. A couple more days of overthinking Mingi’s behavior has made you realize that he really is the master manipulator everyone makes him out to be. It’s actually kind of impressive because he seems so dumb. When you actually think about it, anyone would fall for it and there’s some comfort in that knowledge.
Two days before Christmas, you’ve officially run out of clothes to wear; down to your last pair of underwear. You’re out of bras, in the lowest of lows, you even tried your bra from middle school which, of course, didn’t fit. It might be time to go back to your apartment. Truth be told, it’s not even about Mingi anymore, you’re just lazy. Your daily routine of waking up at noon, watching TV shows and movies all day, and then going to bed at 4am has been hitting the spot lately. Since you waited so long to get your clothes, you either have to do two huge loads of laundry or go to the apartment and pack a suitcase. Packing a suitcase seems like a lot less work so you grab your keys and head out of your house after dinner and maybe a movie or two.
The drive takes less than 15 minutes because it’s the middle of the night, hence, no traffic. You pull into the parking lot next to your building and notice how the town is basically empty. It really does feel like a ghost town around the holidays. Upon leaving your car, the cold winter wind rips through your body and you immediately regret not wearing more layers. A hoodie with nothing underneath will not suffice for these freezing temperatures. You rush over to your front door and it begins to snow. You really should’ve checked the Weather app before driving over. As you’re pulling your keys out, your phone starts to vibrate, it’s your downstairs neighbor calling. Sliding your finger across the screen you put the phone in the nook between your ear and shoulder as you bring the key to the lock. “Hey, what’s up!” It’s too dark to see the lock, so you shift your head to let the streetlight illuminate your door.
“Hey y/n, sorry to call so late, but I just saw you pulling in. I have some of your mail. I’m just getting back from a run so I can give it to you. I’m just around the corner. Be there soon.”
“Oh yeah, totally, no problem! Take your time.” You hear footsteps and turn around to him walking towards you from across the street. He’s a lovely older gentleman in his late 30s getting his PhD. You guys don’t really talk much but because his apartment is 1A and yours is 1B, so the mailman often gets mixed up. You grab your phone from your shoulder as you hear him drawing nearer, approaching you from behind. You turn around to say hi. “Hey–” You choke on your words.
“Y/n?” Your body freezes and you drop your phone. That’s not your neighbor. The figure draws closer into the light of your front steps, you turn back around and jam the key into the door. What the fuck are the odds? You go stiff, your heart sinks, and your stomach turns. As much as you hate to say it again, you’d fucking recognize that deep voice anywhere. You can hear him walking towards you, but don’t turn around. Instead, you opt to make your way into the building as soon as possible if you can get this shit to open. The front door has always had this problem: you have to jiggle the key a bit to get it to unlock. “Y/n.” There it is again, this time a bit closer. Holy fuck. You might just shit yourself right here. The sheer amount of shock you’re feeling right now could actually make you faint. Your breathing becomes erratic. Your head is spinning. You won’t turn around, you can’t, it’s too soon. You just started to heal–for fuck’s sake, why won’t the door open?! You keep jiggling the fucking key but luck is never on your side. “Hey, I just wanna talk. Please, hear me out.” He’s right behind you. You want to sink to the floor and disappear. You’d rather pluck out all of your lashes individually with a tweezer than talk to him right now. Seems like the gods finally heard you because your door opens allowing you to hastily make your way inside and slam the door shut behind you, but you’re not fast enough. Both of you put your full body weight on either side of the door. “Hey! Just listen–” You push even harder placing both hands on the door. You’ve never had to work this hard to open or close a door before. Obviously, you’re not as strong as him so he manages to overpower you and push the door open just enough so he can slip his way inside. As soon as he’s standing in the hallway in front of you, you turn around and make a dash for the stairs before even looking at him. Shout-out to epinephrine because your fight-or-flight is working today. He grabs your hand before you get too far away from him, “Y/n, please just give me a minute and I’ll leave. I promise.” You resist his grasp on you, still refusing to look at him. “Baby–” He attempts to pull you closer to him, but you snatch your hand away, or at least try to.
“Don’t fucking ‘baby’ me!” You whip your head around, still struggling against him.
“I know you’re upset–”
“What are you even doing here? I mean–how did you even–are you stalking me!?” After failing to free yourself, you yield, leaving your arm in his grasp. There’s nothing you can do now. I mean, you could scream for help–
“I’ve been waiting outside your building for the past week hoping I’d catch you.”
“What?! That doesn’t even make sense–you don’t even–did Yunho tell you?” Stumbling over your words like a toddler, your frustration knows no bounds right now. There’s a million thoughts running through your mind and your brain is frying trying to pinpoint just one thing to be upset about. You even fucking planned to avoid him. Were you set up? What the actual fuck?
“He didn’t tell me…but I saw your name pop up on his phone and…I kinda went through it when he was in the bathroom.”
“What is the point of that, you psycho? You rejected me, remember?”
“Baby–y/n, I didn’t reject you—“
“Yeah? Then what does ‘I’m not ready for a relationship’ mean?!”
“Y/n, as soon as you left I came after you but you left your apartment. I waited outside for a while because you blocked me on everything.”
“That’s not true. You didn’t ‘immediately’ come.”
“Okay, I took some time to process but I swear I came after you.” His gaze softens as he pleads for your attention, trying to make you face him. “At least look at me.” You feel all your anger starting to fizzle away when he looks at you like that, but you try your best to turn away again
and remember what he’s done to you.
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I don’t care if you don’t wanna talk or see me. I’m not letting things end this way–I’m not letting things end at all.”
Once again, he tries to close the distance between you and him, you resist, but this time he overpowers you with his strength. You stand under his gaze, it feels like a spotlight, you don’t have the nerve to actually make eye contact. He nudges your phone towards you and you grab it, slipping it in your pocket. “About what I said that night. I just said I wasn’t ready because that’s what I always do. But when I saw you walking away–I don’t know, something just didn’t feel right.” His hand loosens up on your wrist and both of his hands slither their slimy way onto your hips as he draws you in. A gesture so disgustingly familiar that you forget to be mad and allow his touch to rest on you. “When I went back inside, I felt like shit and–I–I didn’t know why. I tried to call you, but you blocked me. And then, I got really mad and deleted your number, but I realized that was really fucking stupid. So I tried going to your apartment but there’s no numbers on those stupid ass bells so I kept ringing the wrong one. Your neighbor actually yelled at me, saying he was gonna call the cops–”
“Okay! Can you get to the point?”
“Yeah, sorry. What I mean to say is I thought a lot and I really can’t see myself happy without you. I want you to be my girlfriend–”
“No.”
“What?!” You pull your body away from his hands, he’s too shocked to pull you back in. “Why?”
“Genuinely, I don’t think you’re a good person. I don’t think you have it in you to be a good partner. Also, you’re a whore. All you care about is sex. You use every girl you meet and you bait all of them by being this nice, sweet guy, but then dump everyone once you get bored.” He just stares at you, you’re not sure how to decipher his expression. It’s a mix of surprise, anger, shock, fear. There’s some pride in staying strong and rejecting him. He just stands there, with that same expression. Truth is, no one’s ever said any of this to Mingi. He knows it’s partly true, but for some reason, it hurts that this is your perception of him.
“I’m literally in love with you–”
“No, you’re not.” You turn back to the stairs, hoping this is the rejection that sets him straight. You can only take one step before you are tugged back under that terrible spotlight once again. “There’s no way you changed your mind in one week. I know you still have feelings for me.”
“Of course I do, we had a very personal relationship. I’m not gonna be over you in just a couple days but I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s not healthy.”
“And you mean that?”
“Yes, now can you let me go? I have somewhere to be–”
“No. You’re wrong. It was never just about sex with you.”
“That’s your interpretation–”
“Y/n, I genuinely really love you.” That evil glare he always has on his face is suddenly absent, overtaken by this wide-eyed, desirous look. “That’s not just something I say. This is my first time saying it to someone–”
“Okay. Great. Let me go.” You manage to pull your arm away from his grasp and take another step towards the stairs, but he grabs you again.
“Y/n, I’m really not trying to bother you, but we really need to talk this out. We have something.”
“We’ve talked enough. Let me go or I’ll scream–”
“Scream. I don’t care. You can’t just let go of what we had–”
“I can do whatever I want. I literally asked you to be serious and you said no. Why do you think you can just show up at my apartment and I’ll drop to my knees because you think you love me or something? Now. Let. Me. Go.”
“No, I’m not letting you walk away from this.”
“Mingi–” You can feel the anger bubbling up in your stomach. “Why are you so persistent right now? You had no problem letting me walk away crying that night! You don’t get to do that to me, in public mind you, and walk in here like you own shit.” You shove him away with your other hand, his shoulder moves but his body stays in front of you. “Let go.”
“Fine, but–” He unhands you and you turn around to finally start walking up the stairs. “Y/n, can we please just talk about this?” You don’t respond and keep walking. When your silence is followed by his, you start to worry that he has given up. Just as a stroke of disappointment settles in your heart, he pulls you off the steps, forcing you to come crashing against him as you lose your balance. “Mingi, for fuck’s sake! I could’ve fallen down the stairs!”
“I’m sorry, y/n. Please, just give me another chance. I don’t wanna be away from you anymore.” He wraps his arms around you tightly, holding his face in the cranny of your neck. “Y/n, I’m sorry. Genuinely, I’m so sorry.” He removes a hand from your waist and grabs your face, your immediate reaction is to pry him off you.
“Let go–”
“Y/n, please.” His left arm stays around your lower back, pressing you back against the mailboxes. Your one hand claws at his, trying to force him to let go of your face and your other hand is placed against his throat, pushing him back. He attempts to put his lips on yours but your hand forces him away. Your hand remains on his lips, he kisses your palm, his tongue gently lips at the skin. A reddish hue overtakes his expression. Letting go of your face, he tenderly pushes your palm further against his lips and this time he places an open-mouth kiss against it. His tongue carefully licking a circle over the spot he just kissed. You know that move. “Baby…please,” his muffled words come out so desperate that you lower your hand from his face, entranced by him. Your hand fists the collar of his sweatshirt urging him away. Unphased by this, he hovers closer. Moving just slow enough to make sure you’re in agreement with his actions. His nose brushes against yours and his heat encompasses you. You take a deep breath through your nose, turning your face away when you exhale a trembling heave. Mingi doesn’t budge, remaining just as close. He patiently waits for you to move away or say something in retaliation, but nothing happens. The brief pause only makes the alarms going off in your head fifteen times worse. This drunken haze has your head spinning, you can’t think. As a last-minute attempt, you force your hand on his neck. His struggling gasps don’t move you as you keep applying pressure but he doesn’t back away. You lose all the strength in that arm when he looks at you like that, eyelids droopy, lips slightly parted. The hand on his collar even pulls him closer to you. His lips loom over yours, almost as if he’s waiting for your permission. The familiar smell of his cologne rushes into your senses as he wraps around you. Somehow he always knows what you want. Your eyes flutter shut and the hand resting on his chest wraps around his neck, tugging him nearer. You want him. He places his lips on yours causing you to immediately stop resisting him in every way. Letting go of his collar, your other hand slides up to his jaw to draw him in. The second your lips interlock with his, you immediately remember how much you missed this. It’s not desire; you can’t even find the words to describe what you’re feeling. His touch just feels right. The side of his face is dotted with melted snow; his skin is cold to the touch, but you feel like you’re on fire. You’re a little too eager to have both arms wrapped around his neck reaching up on your tippy toes as you slip your tongue into his mouth. When you calmly let your guard down, Mingi takes the opportunity to turn you around, now he has his back to the mailboxes as you stand in front of him, trying your best to reach his lips. His hands slide down your back, onto your ass. His right hand follows the curve of your body, his right hand runs down the side of your left thigh, lifting it up as he dips you back to keep kissing you. He slowly pulls back, biting at your lip, pulling it away with him. A motion so quick you forget to feel pain because of how scintillating the environment has suddenly become. Caught in a cycle of brief kisses and messy makeouts, you don’t even hear someone fiddling with the front door. He stands upright, and you follow his lead, back to the original position where you’re struggling to reach his plump lips. Your hands fall to his chest, tugging at the material. You whine, “You’re too far.” He giggles and his hands maneuver away from your ass to delicately push you off his body. Your eyebrows furrow. Whatever desire was building in your core is now dissipating into that familiar anger you were feeling. Before you can express your discontent, your front door swings open, and your eyes land on your neighbor. Upon spotting you, he waves and starts making his way over. You assume Mingi is just out of his sight behind a pillar as you turn your body towards him.
“Hey! Sorry, hope I didn’t have you waiting too long–” He makes it far enough to notice Mingi’s presence against the mailboxes and his expression immediately changes. “You! So you do know y/n.”
“Yeah, like I was telling you…” He sneers. You can hear the attitude in his deep voice and turn around to send a glare his way because his words are a bit harsh.
“Well, when you see a strange man lingering around a girl’s apartment it’s only right to be suspicious.” Your neighbor shoots back at him and you laugh at his remark. “Anyway, if you would just excuse me–” Mingi is standing against the wall of mailboxes with his arms crossed as your neighbor walks towards him with his key but stops in his tracks when Mingi doesn’t move. He looks around confused, wondering why this man is standing in front of him with a key. “Excuse me.” You grab the sleeve of Mingi’s shirt, pulling him towards you as your neighbor unlocks his compartment and starts rummaging through the stack of mail behind the tiny door. He pulls out two envelopes and hands them to you. “There we go.” He takes a second and looks between the two of you before saying, “Next time you want a girl’s attention, try throwing rocks at her window instead of ringing every bell.” Placing your hands over your lips to stop yourself from laughing at his blatant taunts, you look over at a seething Mingi, who’s clenching his jaw. That glare you sent him earlier was enough to make him grasp the message you were sending. So, instead of retorting, he fakes a smile and nods. After the older gentleman shuffles into his apartment, you turn to Mingi and give him a thumbs-up.
“I didn’t even hear him coming in.”
“I know.” A smug expression, that you are very acquainted with, creeps on his face. “Let’s talk.” He nudges his head towards the stairs, turning your body with his large hands and pushing you in the same direction. You angrily shove his hands away from you to walk up the stairs, “I’m going, don’t push!” He follows behind, smiling to himself. You really need to regain your composure and not let your needs get the better of you.
The apartment is empty, just like you knew it would be. You sit on the couch instead of walking to your room and Mingi is evidently confused by this change of routine. He’s never been in your living room longer than the two minutes it takes the two of you to say bye to each other. “No one’s home?” Shaking your head no, your hand pats the spot next to you. You mainly did this so you two can properly discuss everything. You also don’t want to be seduced by the thought of him fucking you because lord knows that’s the only thing on your mind since he spawned in front of you. He takes a seat a little too close to you so you scoot away.
“Seriously?”
“Say what you have to say.”
“Y/n, I love you.” You roll your eyes and let out a displeased sigh. “Don’t do that. You know I do…” You don’t say anything, all you do is cross your arms and turn away from him. “Y/n–” He scooches toward you and you stand up.
“Mingi, I don’t want this anymore.”
“What is ‘this’?”
“You. I don’t want you anymore.”
“Don’t say that. We just kissed, you’re saying you felt nothing?”
“That’s different. It’s a bodily reaction.”
“Baby, I’m sorry. I really am. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up, I swear. I seriously didn’t mean to upset you–”
“Well, you did. So, what now? Huh?” He stands up and walks toward you.
“Now, let me make it up to you.”
“That’s not how this works.”
“How does it work then? Because I’m here, and I mean it when I say that I will do anything.” Standing maybe four feet away from you, he looks like he’s ready to eat you whole. You don’t know whether to feel scared or overjoyed. Now you have to think about what to make him do. As you rake your mind for embarrassing ideas, he slowly closes the distance between you two until he’s only maybe nine inches away from your face.
“In public, you have to beg me to take you back. Loud enough for everyone to hear you. Then, maybe, I’ll consider–”
“Done.”
“You haven’t even finished listening to what I’m gonna say.”
“I don’t care as long as you consider letting me interact with you again.” Such corny words really should be more offputting than they are, you turn your face away to hide a spreading smile.
“Desperate ass.”
“Fuck yeah.”
He aggressively cups your face to kiss you. You reach up to push him away, but his lips are so soft and you’re too weak-willed to stop yourself. Instead, you wrap your arms around his waist and kiss him back. His lips place peck after peck all over your mouth. Everything feels so perfect. You missed him so much–but that doesn’t erase the last ten days of misery. The constant tug-of-war between your logic and your emotions is draining you. It’s tough for you to not be swayed by his words, especially when he knows exactly what you want to hear. You find some strength to push him away but he won’t let you, overwhelming you with the sheer amount of affection. “Mingi–stop,” you turn your face away, for a second he actually stops.
“Listen, I understand how you feel, but I’m just asking for a chance. Please.” Your eyes search his for any semblance of dishonesty, but you know he’s being sincere. That’s what scares you. The fact that you can choose to invest yourself into this again, and it could very easily rip you to pieces, again. Your face, still in his hands, flips through a series of expressions: confused, scared, anxious, hesitant, even happy. He can tell you’re putting a lot of thought into your following words, he wants to respect that. Instead of occupying your mouth, he turns his attention elsewhere. You moan (and stop thinking) when he bites your neck, “Take your time, princess. No pressure at all.” It’s been so long since you’ve had to put in effort to resist him that you physically can’t do it anymore. He knows every way to get you and your body to bend to his will. “What are you thinking about?” He licks a line to your ear from your neck and nibbles on your ear lobe. He starts walking backwards and sits on the couch, pulling you into his lap. Your plan failed. All you can think about is riding him as he sucks a hickey onto your neck. “Come on, baby, tell me.”
“Mingi, stop–” he immediately retracts himself from you and suddenly you’re freezing.
“I’m not gonna force you, you say the word and I’ll stop.” Pulling his hands back, away from your body, he waits for you to give him the go or the no; as you sit facing him on his lap.
“You’re not forcing me–”
You’re cut off by a moan when you feel his cold fingers under your hoodie, against your bare back. His hands start pulling up your hoodie. The cold air hitting your bare stomach brings you back to reality for a second. You tsk and slide off his lap to sit next to him but still facing him. You can’t make it this easy for him. He leaves his right hand on your left hip.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, breathless. His eyes scan your face, there’s no genuine anger. If anything, you look sad.
“I hope you’re not stupid enough to think you can make it up to me with—.”
“You think I’m that dumb?”
“Yes.” He giggles and tucks a strand a hair behind your ear.
“I am, but not that dumb. I have other plans. I’m just excited to see you again.”
“We’re not a thing, okay?”
“That’s fine.” He looks so pleased with himself. Ugh. This is all happening too fast.
“I’m gonna talk to other guys too.” His face drops. You’re not actually going to do that. You just wanna see how far he’s willing to go, which is definitely toxic but you have to be sure. He’s biting his lower lip, thinking, then lets out a sigh.
“That’s fine. I made a mistake. Just know that I wanna be with you. I don’t care about anything else.” While hearing those words has you over the moon, you can’t help but search for any signs of hesitance on his face. To your fortune/misfortune he looks genuinely sure of his words. A wave of relief washes over your body. All the tension and anxiety you were holding onto fades. As difficult as it is to admit, you are a forgiving girl. But he hurt you and you’ll be working hard to remember his crimes against you.
His thumb swipes across your cheek and you, naturally, turn your face into his palm. “I love you.” Those words finally settle in your mind, allowing you to acknowledge the truth of the situation. You freeze and pull back, feeling a little awkward but he doesn’t waver. Something about this feels way too good to be true.
“I don’t know, Mingi. I don’t trust you having this sudden realization–”
“It’s not sudden. I’ve been very into you, for like a while now. I send you ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ texts for fuck’s sake. When you blocked me on everything, bro I tweaked out.”
“I mean, can you blame me?”
“No, I get it, baby.” He leans forward and pecks your cheek. “I’m sorry I put you through that, princess. Never again.”
“Ugh, shut up. You’re so confusing.” You push his face back and sit facing forward.
“What’s so confusing?” He chuckles, scooting his body towards you. His arm wraps around your shoulders but you shake him off.
“You don’t seem to realize that you’re asking a lot from me. I don’t trust you.”
“Okay, don’t trust me, don’t do anything. Just let me keep seeing you. I wanna show you how I feel about you. I’m not rushing you into anything.” That doesn’t seem like a bad deal on your end. Plus, how can you say no to him when he speaks so fondly?
Ugh, is it really that easy for him? Are you just easily manipulated?
“I don’t know. I have to think.” Trying to keep some mystery to your choices despite your emotions being fully plastered on your face
“Okay, think.”
“Shut up, Mingi.”
“I fucking love when you say that to me–” He tries to put is arm around you again to kiss your cheek but you stand up and walk towards your room. He snickers and follows you. When he walks into the room, he locks the door behind him. Upon hearing the “click” of the lock, you stop rummaging through your closet and turn around to a smug Mingi posted up on the door. You gesture for him to come over. You’re turned around, going through the drawers of your closet. He bites his lip and slinks over to you. “What’re you looking for?” He stands behind you, placing his hands on your hips and kisses the back of your neck, exposed by your updo. His lips reach around to the side of your neck as he continues placing small kisses. You don’t respond, looking up to the top shelf of your closet. On your tippy toes, you’re reaching for something that’s just out of sight. Mingi feels you struggling and reaches over you to grab the item. It’s your suitcase. “Are we running away together?” Carefully, maneuvering it so he doesn’t hit you, his firm chest presses against your back.
“No.” You grab the suitcase from his hands, push him back to make space for it on the ground, and zip it open. He stands in the same spot, confused about what you’re doing. You stand up again to pull some clothes out of the drawers and off hangers to hand them to him. When you notice he’s not moving, you look at him sternly and say, “Fold the clothes, Mingi.”
“Oh! Yeah, of course.” He sits on the floor in front of the open suitcase, behind you, carefully placing the folded clothes in the compartment. There’s a pile of clothes beside him, which you keep adding to. Once you’re done taking out all your clothes, you take a seat across from him on the other side of the suitcase, and begin folding the clothes from the pile as well.
“You need this many clothes?”
“Yeah, I didn’t take anything with me when I left.”
“Why? I would’ve assumed you packed a week before leaving.”
“Oh I don’t know, I was very…upset when I left.”
“Right…sorry.” There’s a brief silence as Mingi looks down, ashamed. You snicker, and he looks up, his expression changing. “Any plans for Christmas?”
“Just having dinner with my family.”
“Can I come see you when you’re done?”
“Maybe.”
“I’ll take that.”
“I didn’t say yes.”
“Okay, then you let me know.”
“What are you even trying to do?”
“Get you back–” You start to get angry. Gripping a shirt you just folded, you throw it at his face. “Hey! The fuck was that for?” You keep finding different articles of clothing to toss in his face. His hands block his face and occasionally catch a pair of pant or a shirt, attempting to shield himself. He reaches over the suitcase to grab your wrist. “Stop!” With one wrist apprehended, you calmly reach behind you and grab anything to toss at him. Unfortunately, it’s a pair of pink lacey underwear; even worse, it’s a pair that he knows very well. When the thin piece of fabric is thrown in his face, he lets go of your wrist to catch it. Embarrassed out of your mind you lunge at him, trying to take it back. He reaches his arm forward to keep you back, “now I’m keeping this.” You’re doing your very best to get it back from him, but you can’t beat his strength. He holds the underwear high up and back while simultaneously managing your flailing arms. You stand up on your knees to give yourself more balance, but he continues to push back on your sternum with his forearm, careful as to not use too much force. He turns to the side and brings the panties close to his face, taking a deep sniff. You scream at his obscene actions, “Ew! Mingi give it back!” He turns back to you with a long face and tosses them in your direction.
“Ugh, they’re clean. I can’t smell anything.” You shove his arm away.
“What’s wrong with you? Weirdo–” You start to crawl back to your original spot to continue your packing but Mingi grabs your ankle causing you to trip. Caught off guard, you fall on your side, then turn to your back as he slowly finds himself on top of you.
“If that’s gross, then you definitely won’t wanna know what I did when you weren’t talking to me.” You squint at him as he smiles down at you, you scoff and roll your eyes.
“Probably something deprived.” Waiting for a response from him, you turn away, but he stays silent. You face him to urge a response. “So?”
“You wanna know?”
“Ugh,” placing your hand on his shoulder, you push him away and sit up but he keeps you sitting in front of him before you move. He hovers closer but you avoid eye contact because you know he’s about to say something that will fry your brain.
“You know I have a pair of yours. From our first time.” You think back to that night a few months ago. You do recall him taking them but you were too caught up in the moment to question it. You think to yourself, what could he possibly do with that? “It hits the spot when I miss…” he slowly pushes you to your back but instead lying down you hold yourself up on your elbows, confused. He lowers himself until he’s suspended before your center and places a hand on the back of your thigh, pulling your legs apart, “certain parts of you.” He ends the sentence by placing a kiss on your clothed core. You know you should stop him, but… a girl has her needs. That small kiss was enough to get you soaking your underwear despite the guilt. He looks up at you from in between your legs and rests his head on your thigh. “You can tell me to stop.” Without daring to utter a word, you simply look away. Out of sight, off your conscience. He lingers there, waiting for you to say something to him but you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. You feel like you’re betraying yourself. Is all the anxiety he gives you worth feeling good for an hour?
He whines, gripping your thigh as he bites it. Something tells you this will be worth it. Yolo. You’ve already spent enough time trying to be a responsible, hardworking student. While you got the grades you wanted, a small part of you always regretted sacrificing a social life for it. You’re basically done with college, you’ve earned a few months of young stupidity. With a new mindset, you decide to end this ceaseless war between your mind and body by doing the easy thing: letting him take charge.
“Show me.”
He snaps his head up to find you staring down at him with a cute little smirk on your face. “Hm? Show you what?” He feigns confusion.
“That you missed me.” His smile widens as he bites his lip and immediately goes to remove your pants.
“Yes ma’am.” He sits up to make quick work of tossing your sweatpants and underwear aside. The cold air hitting your bare core causes you to snap your legs shut, but he pries you open again. “Stop that, let me see.” You can feel your arousal seeping out as Mingi stares down at you. His eyes are glued to your glistening center until they land on yours. You wish you could say that you shyly looked away, but you stare back at him and gesture towards where you need him with your eyes. He laughs, scrunching his nose. “You’re so needy–”
“And you’re on thin ice.” He bites his lip again, this time to hold in his reaction to your warning. Heeding your words, he drags two fingers through your folds gathering your slick. Your whole body shudders and you keep in a moan. You don’t want him to know just how desperate you are because you’re kinda enjoying this power trip. “Don’t worry baby, I’m workin’.” Those two fingers promptly enter you and you yelp, falling off your elbows. Now on your back, as he gently pumps his fingers in and out of you. A slight burn of desire surges through your nerves but you know this won’t be enough to satiate you. He watches your face as you go through fifteen emotions at once just to settle on dissatisfaction. As his fingers reach deeper and deeper inside you, you grow hungrier. The more his fingers bottom out, the louder the noises. Mingi’s thanking God that your eyes are clamped shut because he is so giddy watching you enjoy yourself. Your quiet gasps turn into whines, “Mingi~more.” He slides his fingers out causing you to convulse, losing the sensation. Your confused face turns to anger as you sit up and see Mingi pulling his hair back. Right as you’re about to question him, he grabs the hair tie on your wrist and ties his hair back. “Your hair has gotten so long.” You brush a couple strands back. He nods and grabs your face to kiss you but you pull away. “No.”
“What? Shut up–” he grabs your face again and tries to kiss you but you reject his advances once more.
“You gotta earn that.” You’re all smug as you sit in front of him, core fully exposed and Mingi is loving every second of it. This terrible attitude that you have today is so starkly different from your usual compliant behavior; although different, the change is definitely welcomed.
“I will.” He hooks your legs over his shoulders, causing you to almost fall back on the ground, but you manage to catch yourself with one hand behind you. He lies on his stomach on the floor of your bedroom, lowering himself to eye level with your opening. You don’t move an inch, allowing him to come to you, eyes trained on his figure. When you feel his calm breath over you, your head leans to the side in anticipation, but before making a move, he cranes his neck up and says, “Make sure you watch.” You look at him, shocked, but he just laughs. “I know you like watching.” Still holding your gaze, he latches his lips around your clit and gently sucks. His eyes narrow as they watch your expression. Immediately, your hand goes to fist his hair. One hand in his hair and the other propping you up behind you. Feet suspended in the air, over his shoulders. Toes curling as his lips unlatch and the tip of his tongue flicks over it. You cry out but stop out of habit, then you remember that no one’s home, so you can moan till your heart’s content. This might actually be the first time you and Mingi are alone and not in a car. He tears himself away from your addicting taste, “I fucking love you,” the words come out as rough and hoarse as ever. He kisses your thigh and spits on your cunt before diving back in. His hands wrap around your thighs and grab at your waist under your hoodie, dragging you flush against his face. He drags his tongue from your hole to your clit. Your hand pushes some strands of hair away from his face to get a better look at him. Feeling your eyes burning holes into the top of his head, he turns his face up to catch your gaze. His lips wrap around your sensitive bundle of nerves and smilingly sucks on it, playing with it. “Am I earning that kiss?” His dialogue, muffled by your skin.
You don’t say anything, only releasing a shaky, quiet moan then biting your lip. Your hand tugs at his hair, pushing his face towards your warmth. He laughs with his mouth still against you and groans in pleasure. He brings the expanse of his tongue against your entire core then kisses your clit while gently suckling at it. The continual lapping from his tongue is just about to push you over the edge but what really gets you is when he sinks two fingers deep into you. You cry out as your hips begin swaying back and forth. With every forward movement, his tongue sweeps against your clit while his thick fingers flow deeper into you. If you died in this moment, you’d die a happy, sexually content woman. You buck your hips toward his face while your hand drives him further against you by his hair. He grunts, feeling you fisting his hair. Your feet flex and your back arches as you feel a knot getting ready to unravel yet your hand stays stubbornly in his hair. You’re enjoying the anchorage it gives you. Every motion of yours is so in sync with his, it’s like he has a manual to your body. Your neck cranes to the side as you approach your release. The cold room is now suffocating you with the humidity.
The sounds are ungodly and deafening. Your eyes shut and you clench your jaw, you’re at your peak. Your mouth falls open. Slack jawed, you begin to babble a flurry of words. A mix of curses, his name, even proclamations of love but he can’t hear anything because your legs are shut around his head. You shake, pulling on his hair, you yell, “fuck!” As your release spills out of you, your arm gives out and you fall flat onto your back on the carpet. Your chest heaves up and down, trying to stabilize your heart beat. Mingi sits up on his knees and removes his shirt. Hearing his necklace jingle, you pick your neck up to look at him. Fully expecting to see him beaming at you, proud of his mastery, you’re shocked to see an emotion-less stare. When he starts making his way toward you, you flinch, unable to read his expression. He stops, “Can I?”
“Yeah…” His figure hovers over yours and he reaches down to kiss you.
“Hold on to me.” In a flash, you’re lifted off the floor and placed on the edge of your mattress. Bracing yourself with your hands, you watch him remove his jeans. Once done with himself, he lifts your hoodie up and off your body, leaving you entirely bare to his eyes. He leans in and you close your eyes, waiting for him to kiss you but his lips make contact with your neck instead. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you curl into him as he bites and kisses at your skin. His hands are placed on either side of your hips, which is definitely ticking you off. You go to express the desire for him to touch you, but instead of authoritative, your words come out more as a plea. Which he, of course, laughs at. You push him away, readying a tantrum to ruin the mood he’s working hard to set up. He recedes with a smile on his face. Thank God, because the face he made earlier was very off-putting.
“What?” His playful demeanor never ceases to turn you on.
“Don’t laugh!” He leans in but your face is turned away and your arms are crossed over your breasts.
“But you sound so cute when you say it like that,” his lips meet your cheek, he then goes to your ear, “‘touch me.’” He mimics your whine, and you gasp, driving him away again, falling back onto the soft surface.
Your hands covering your face, you yell, “Shut up! You’re so annoying.” Heat builds up in your face. You recognize the irony of the fact that you’re blushing over his words while laying nude in front of him. He gets on the bed and crawls over you to kiss the back of your hand, “What? I love hearing it…I love you.” Every time he says it, the wind gets knocked out of you and you have to take a second to recover. You uncover your face, “Boo, lame.” He laughs loudly and gets off you. Standing at the foot of your bed, he tugs you towards him by your hips.
“Jeez, so mean. Can’t even express myself.” He pulls his boxers down, letting his length spring out. Your right leg is lifted and placed over his left shoulder. His right hand reaches down to pump the red, throbbing member.
“I’m sure you can think of better ways to express yourself.” Just the sight of him alone has your eyes sparkling but right as he’s about to enter you, you call out to him.
“Mingi. Condom.”
You had a scare not too long ago and decided to finally stop being insane and play it safe. Mingi had no problem following your lead.
“Where?”
“Drawer.” You almost moan seeing that he’s tall enough to just reach over and grab one from your side table without breaking physical contact. He rips it open and rolls it down his length.
“I keep mine in my side table too.”
“I know. I learn from the worst.” He snickers, scrunching his nose at you. The sweet moment of you two having a laugh together is suddenly ruined when he forces half his length inside you without warning. “Fuck!” He figured the combination of his spit and your slick would have you wet enough. Still, you definitely are not ready for everything he’s about to give you. It feels like a truck is ramming into your body every time he thrusts into you but you can’t say you dislike the feeling. His movements are drawn-out and intense. Your eyes are closed but Mingi’s are fixed on your face. Every moan and groan just pushes him further and further into you. “You missed this, huh?” Your eyes spring open.
“Don’t get too cocky–” Another slow thrust steals the words right out of your mouth and leaves you drooling. He presses forward, his lower abdomen makes contact with your sensitive clit and you arch away from his touch. Instead of taking the hint, he looms closer.
“Don’t run away.” Then, seemingly out of nowhere, his laggard movements turn into a rush. Every time he brings his hip to yours you get pushed away from him. Getting tired of having to hold your body in place, he takes your leg off his shoulder and leans over you. Holding himself up on his forearms, his necklace hangs over your lips. He sees you struggling to focus with the piece of metal constantly hitting your mouth. You hear a giggle and before you know it, you open your eyes to find the necklace in his mouth. He looks so hot. His little crooked tooth is on display as he smiles down at you while simultaneously ripping you open. You wrap your arms around his neck and legs around his waist, using your ankles to urge him to go even deeper. You’re not sure what it is but you need to feel his weight on top of you. Something about being crushed by him will appease a specific part of your mind. So, you pull his face into the nook of your neck. The majority of his weight is being supported by his left forearm as he drags his right hand down your body, pinching your nipple. Once he elicits a high-pitch whine he’s satisfied with a quick laugh. His hand continues to move down your body, in the dip of your waist, he anchors his hand there to push your body onto him, harder.
“God–fuck, that’s so good.” For the past hour and a half, you haven’t had a single thought aside from Mingi. You’re sweating, he’s sweating, and with how humid it’s gotten in the room, the walls are probably also sweating. The smell of sex lingers in the air and you love it. Your mind is blank except for one word. “Mingi.” You gasp out. Usually, he would try to draw out your sessions more but you had him really riled up today. He can feel your walls closing in around him so you must be close. He knows you’re enjoying this by the number of times you’ve said his name thus far. He’s really close too, but he feels guilty every time he finishes before you. He attempts to pull away to lessen the sensations on him but you’re wrapped around him and surprisingly strong, so he’s stuck where he is. Not that he’s complaining. He’s aware of how much you’re enjoying this position, so to make it even better for you, he starts moving his body in a wave-like motion. Now, every time he enters you his abdomen touches your clit in an upwards motion, essentially flicking it. Such a dumb man, yet so painfully aware of his actions in bed. You won’t last long with this new implementation; you never do. In a matter of seconds, he feels you coming undone and decides it’s time for him to stop rejecting his own release as well. The wave of ecstasy that washes over you has you doing almost a full sit-up, with Mingi on top of you, while gripping the sheets so hard you rip them off the edge of the bed. Your walls start spasming around him and he lets go. You milk him dry while still asking for more. Both of you tense every muscle in your body then relax. He falls on top of you, and for the first time, you feel his full weight, and it really is suffocating. Even though you said you wanted this you can’t breathe. He hears your labored breathing and immediately gets off of you.
“Oh shit, sorry babe.” He rolls over to your side, removes the condom, and discards it in the trash can underneath your desk. Then he slips his boxers on and comes back to lie with you. When he lies down, he places an arm over your belly and kisses the side of your head. “I love when we come together. It’s like the stars aligning.”
You’re still fighting for your life to catch your breath but once you do, you reply, “so poetic” sarcastically. He laughs at you mocking him. It’s like your body realizes how hard it was working the way you just got so tired out of nowhere. You yawn and turn your face to Mingi who’s already looking at you with a smile on his face, “tired?”
“Yes.” After losing every last bit of energy you had, you simply decide to give in and fall asleep.
“Can I stay?”
“Yes.” You feel yourself drifting off as Mingi sneaks his other arm under your head then pulls you into an embrace. Instinctively, you turn to your side, against his body and ready yourself for a good night’s sleep.
That is, until you remember that you told your mom you’d be back home almost two hours ago. Your eyes snap open.
“I have to go home.” You sit up despite his protests, out of breath due to the fact that you’re stricken with fatigue and sleepiness. Mingi groans, annoyed with your sudden change of plans.
“We’ll wake up early. Let’s just lay down.” He tries to pull you down into a lying position again, but you scooch out of his grasp and off the bed.
“Can’t. I told my mom I’d be back, I have to keep my word.”
“Baby, please, I’ll pay you.” You laugh as you walk over to your closet to grab a clean towel, wrapping it around your naked figure.
“How much?”
“50?” You tsk and start walking towards your door. “100?” Just before leaving the room, you turn to him and gesture a finger upwards, telling him to raise the price. “200?” You shake your head and walk towards your bathroom. Right as you’re about to enter the other room, you hear, “Higher!? I'm just a college student! No good dick discount?” You giggle as you turn on the faucet and wait for the water to heat up. You take this time to zone out and allow the steam to enter your system. Your jaw unclenches, and your shoulder muscles relax; the cold really makes you stiff. You extend your hand towards the running water, but quickly retract it, feeling that it’s still cold. After a quick shiver, you lean back against the bathroom sink, still waiting. Just then, you hear the door creak open and in steps your wonderful houseguest with one of your towels wrapped around his waist.
“My towel!”
“This is the one you said I could use.”
“Fine, then you wash it too.”
“Then I’ll forget it at my place. I’ll give you five–no–ten bucks to wash it for me.”
“Every wash?“
“Yep.”
“I’ll wash it every day.”
“Okay, let’s set up a direct deposit.”
“And if I decide to wash it multiple times in a day?”
“I’ll make a y/n fund, to keep up with the bills.”
You giggle, “The y/n bills?”
“Yeah. Y/n fund for y/n bills.”
“Good plan.”
“Thank you… is someone else in the shower?”
You both chuckle. “No. We’re waiting for the water to warm up, old building.”
“Oh–we?” He raises an eyebrow at you with a knowing smirk on his face.
“I assume you’ll be joining me.”
“I will, but do you want me to?”
“It’d save us both time.”
“That’s not what I asked–”
“Okay, it’s warm.” You remove your towel and place it on the hook protruding from the bathroom door, but he just stands there, eyeing your body up and down. You step into the tub and pull the shower curtain. When he doesn’t join you in the following ten seconds, you start to get impatient, “Come.” You’re too tired to deal with his games right now. You hear him let out a small laugh, then the shower curtain opens, and the cold air hits you immediately. “Get in, it’s cold!” You pull him towards you by the wrist until he has his chest against your back. You’re kinda just standing there, enjoying the warmth of the water washing over your figure. You and your roommates decided to turn the heat off over winter break. No one will be around, so it makes no sense to pay the useless bill. As a result, your apartment temperature matches the outside conditions. Mingi grabs your washcloth from the rack hanging on your showerhead and lathers a decent amount of body wash on it. You don’t move a muscle, just eyes closed, hot water on your scalp, and holding your hands out to catch some water as well. He grabs your wrist and starts cleaning you with the washcloth. You lean back until your head makes contact with his chest. He runs the soapy cloth up your arm, around your shoulder, and behind your neck, but when he reaches your chest, he uses his hands instead. Placing the soapy fabric on the shelf molded into the wall, he grabs some more of your body wash and squeezes out an ample amount all over his hands. The whole time while he has been washing you, you’ve had your eyes closed. When you feel his hands make contact with your body, you open your eyes and turn your face up to look at him. He kisses the apex of your cheek and begins massaging your chest. “Are you sleeping?”
“No, I was just resting my eyes.” You look down, watching his hands run over the mounds of flesh. “Enjoying yourself?”
“I dream of this.” He lowers himself to kiss the side of your neck, and you lean your head to the other side, allowing him full access to his canvas. There is only one hickey on your neck, and he knows once you see it, he’s in for a lecture. So, he sticks to just kissing and biting at the skin. His right hand cups your left breast, playing with your nipple. While his left hand brings the soap down your stomach, inching dangerously close to your core. You’re not sure if you can handle another round, but who are you to say no?
The distance between his hand and your center grows smaller; you separate your legs, granting him access. His sudsy hand begins moving in small circles over your clit, and you feel something poking at your lower back. Feeling a little cheeky, you grab the washcloth and squeeze out some soap onto your hands. You bring your left hand back around your hip to grab his hard dick. He lets out a harsh whimper, feeling you wrap your hand around the tip as you slowly pump him. The position is definitely awkward; it’s hard for you to move your hand comfortably. Just as you’re about to turn around, his hand suddenly pushes down harder on your bundle of nerves, causing you to bend over slightly from the sensations. He turns you around and tugs you into him, kissing you with a new ferocity that he hasn’t brought thus far. You place your thumb on the side of his lip, pulling it down so he’ll open his mouth and initiate a messy kiss. With that motion, Mingi catches on that you’re ready, willing, and able to partake in round three. His hands slide down your lower back and roughly grab your ass. A couple of harsh squeezes and slaps later, he trails his way to the back of your thighs and lifts you up in one motion. You guys haven’t tried this position yet. You struggle to hide your excitement. He turns to the side, the water hitting his left shoulder as he continues to devour your lips. You worry that he’ll get tired holding you up like this, but that’s the last thing on his mind. One hand lets go of you and swiftly guides his length towards your entrance. When you feel the head entering your warmth, you go limp. He pins you back against the wall and begins drilling into you without warning; your yelps are drowned out by the high water pressure. Your hands grip onto his shoulders while he moves you up and down on himself. “Fuck–so wet.” Your legs lock into place right above the ridge of his hips, in his V-line. Crying out at the enjoyment of being stuffed and unstuffed so quickly, your right hand winds up in his hair as his mouth hovers over the shell of your ear, whispering vulgarities you’d rather not repeat in this lifetime. You grab a fistful of his hair so you can feel attached to this plane, as his rough movements are making your body go numb. The heat from the shower only adds to the ambiance. All you can feel is the physical connection between your body and his. Engrossed in his zeal for you, and the way his stomach rubs against your clit, you’re nearing your climax. It’s been, maybe, seven minutes since you two started, and goodness, do you feel embarrassed that you’re about to come this fast. He feels your grasp on him tighten, then a familiar palpitating of your walls; he gasps, then laughs in your ear.
“That fast?” Instead of responding with words, you pull on the hair at the base of his skull, causing him to look up as he chuckles at you. “Hasn’t even been ten minutes and you’re already coming.” His words mock your appetite (or lack of), and you hate how much you’re enjoying it. He turns his head to catch a glimpse of your face. He was so absorbed in his ecstasy that he completely forgot to poke fun at you. “Missed me that much, huh, y/n? Tell me how much you missed this.” Nothing, you don’t wanna speak since you’re too busy chasing after your high. His ministrations slowed when he noticed you were close, anticipating his bitch ass behavior, you took it upon yourself to keep riding him until you peaked. Forcing your hips down on his dick, then using your shoulder muscles to pull yourself back up. The physical activity is so pleasing. You continue the same motions, using your abs, shoulders, legs, and arms as you work your body on his. Your body is going to give up soon. Eyes blown out, he watches in amazement. Placing a kiss on your wet cheek, he watches you desperately pursue your release. While he would love to mess with you, he can’t help but join your cause; he finds you working this hard endearing. “You’re close, aren’t you?” You finally look at him and nod, going in for an all-tongue kiss. He obliges and begins moving his hips, but especially focusing on the motions of his lower abdomen. Making sure he grazes your clit with every thrust, he’s on a mission. With his help, you immediately find the light at the end of the tunnel. You yell, “Fuck! Mingi–” Tears form at the edges of your eyes, “Don’t stop–” The buildup is absolutely diabolical, you’re scared you might die with this orgasm. The sensations are just too much, your nerves are being overloaded, and you definitely cannot process the amount of endorphins being released in your body right now. Right as you come, you squeeze your eyes shut, and a couple of tears fall down your cheeks. As the waves of pleasure wash over you, your arms and legs give out, but thankfully, Mingi is still holding you up. He doesn’t stop and keeps going. The effects of your orgasm start to wear off, and you’re left with an overly sensitive bundle of nerves that is being continually stimulated right now. You try to struggle against him to push him away, but you simply do not have the strength for that right now. He keeps going, moving your hips up and down the entire expanse of his dick. You’re wet enough to let him bottom out. Your greedy hole is sucking him right back in the second he slides himself out. The overstimulation starts to subside, and you allow him to use you for his own euphoria. The sounds of your sex are now even louder than the water from the shower head. That one vein that runs through his member starts to pulse inside you. You’re completely unaware of what’s happening; your mind has melted. He fucks into you one last time before retracting himself from your sopping core. Right as he lets you down, your knees buckle. He still has a grip on your lower back and catches you before you fall. Your sleepy eyes struggle to remain open until you feel a viscous, warm fluid sliding down your leg. “Did you–”
“Yeah, sorry, baby.” There really was no plan. He just happened to come, but decided to pull out at the last second. He moves away from your body, allowing the water to hit you; it’s still hot. He spends the next ten minutes washing your body again, then turns off the shower, basically carrying you out of the tub, and wraps a towel around you. With the large towel placed around your shoulders, you find yourself struggling to keep your balance, feeling as though you may collapse any second. “Whoa. You sure you’ll be able to make it home?” He quickly dries his body and wraps a towel around his waist. You shake your head no because there’s no way you’re driving in this current state. Your mother will bombard you with calls, but you'll come up with something. You should’ve guessed that a third round would’ve ruined your chances of going home tonight. “Can you walk?“
You can, but you don’t want to, so again, you shake your head no. He exhales in joy, watching you zone out. He takes a second to stare at you, the love of his life, but you’re still spacing out. When he notices that you are starting to shiver, he picks you up, bridal style, and rushes to your bedroom. Placing you down on the bed, he goes to your closet to get you a pair of warm clothes. When he returns with something to wear and socks, you’re already fast asleep under the covers. Even though sleeping with you naked is very tempting, he doesn’t want you to get sick. So, as you sleep, he works diligently to dress you, careful to not wake you. Either you’re really tired, or he could be a super spy with the way he was able to do everything without waking you up. For the next few minutes, he watches you sleep, wondering if he should join you. Instead of making a choice, he opts to admire your features as you sleep. Your lashes gently rest on your cheeks, and your face is a little puffy because you’re so sleepy. He's not sure how, but you somehow feel his presence and open your eyes. “I’m sorry, baby. Did I wake you up?” He brushes your hair back off your face lovingly. Without saying a word, you close your eyes, shuffle to the other side of the bed, and pull the blanket open, allowing him an entrance. “Come lay.” After hearing a giggle, the bed shifts, and you now have your own personal heater next to you. Since it’s so cold in the apartment, the second he gets in bed, you move over until your body is flush against his. Pressing yourself on him, you wrap an arm around him, and he slides his left arm under your head, turning to his side to place an arm in the dip of your waist. “Good night.” The last thing you remember is him placing an endearing pack tier forehead.
In the morning, as you assumed, your mom is blowing up your phone. Both of you wake up around eight in the morning to your phone, dinging with messages and calls from your mom. You sit up with a yawn and reach over Mingi to grab your phone from the side table. Trying your best to stay quiet, but he opens his eyes the second your arm goes over his body. He grabs your wrist and interlaces his hand with yours, “Why are you being so sneaky this early in the morning?”
“I was trying not to wake you up.” You let go of his hand, grab your phone, and start going through the notifications, resting your forearms on Mingi’s stomach. He runs a hand over the back of your head, “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, she’s just worried about where I am… Okay, let’s get up.” Putting your phone down, you bring the palms of your hand down on Mingi’s stomach, causing a small slap sound. Once off the bed, he walks towards your suitcase, getting it ready for transport. With haste, you make your bed and clear any messes because you would hate to come home to a dirty room. You were so focused that when you turned around, your soul almost left your body, seeing a giant man against the wall, asleep. You pat his shoulder, when he opens his eyes, you nudge your head towards the front door and he follows behind. The two of you slip your shoes on in silence. You unlock the front door to leave, but Mingi grabs your arm. “You’re not wearing a jacket?”
“Uh, no. It’s fine, though, because my car is literally just outside.”
“That doesn’t matter; it snowed last night, so it’s probably freezing.”
“Ugh, Mingi, don’t be annoying. Let’s go.” While you understand he’s just looking out for you, you are literally the worst person ever in the morning, especially when you don’t get enough sleep. You try to leave again, but he pulls you back into the apartment. “Hang on.” He unzips his puffer jacket and takes it off, handing it to you. “Wear this.” Holding up the material in front of you, you stare at him, a little annoyed. You know it’s not worth complaining over, so you take it from him and put it on.
“Now I have another reason to see you.” He places a peck against your forehead. You open the door once more, gesturing for him to leave before you. With your suitcase in hand, he walks out, dragging it behind him, waiting for you in the hallway. You lock the apartment door and walk down the stairs, out the building door. As you lead the way over to your car, Mingi asks, “Front seat, backseat, or trunk?”
“You can just put it in the trunk. Thank you.” Clicking the button on your keys, your trunk springs open, and he lifts the suitcase into the small space. “Of course, baby.” You stuff your hands in the pockets of his jacket as you watch him close the trunk of your car. He takes a step forward, grabs your face with both hands, and kisses you. “Unblock me.” You laugh because you forgot about that. You take out your phone, unblock his number, and turn it around to show him. “Thank you. I can finally sleep at night. I’ll see you later today, okay?”
“Mm.” You nod, smiling, and get into your car. Mingi waits for you to pull out and disappear from his line of sight before walking over to his car.
The second he gets in, he feels like he might explode. He’s come a long way from where he started. That night, when everything went down, he was already really upset that you and he had a miscommunication, but when you kissed Yunho, he sorta lost it. The insecurities literally started falling out of his mouth. When you walked away from him after he said “he wasn’t ready”, he ran inside and went through all seven stages of grief. Hands running through his hair out of frustration, eyes tearing up, he remembers taking so many deep breaths to stop himself from crying. As he paced around his room thinking of what he should do, his eyes landed on the figurine you got him. He ended up taking it out of his car because Wooyoung broke it. He couldn’t stop the tears anymore, fuck, he realized he was in love with you. The time and effort he put into his relationship were not worth losing over his petty behavior. He snapped out of his psychosis and ran to your apartment, but when he got there, your car wasn’t in its spot. He started to freak out and tried to call you, but it kept going to voicemail. He tried Instagram, but your account wouldn’t come up. You didn’t even let him follow you; he just memorized your username. After falling to his knees out of despair, he figured someone was bound to come, so he could make his way inside at some point. There was no foresight in any of his plans; it was merely a means to an end. Unfortunately for him, your downstairs neighbor came home first to find him sitting on the steps leading up to the front door. In hindsight, he realizes how suspicious he may have looked at the time, asking to be let into a building he didn't live in. When he failed to contact you that night, he didn't give up completely, but he had to give up for the night, so he decided to go home. When he got back, the party was ending. Yunho noticed how upset he was and tried to talk to him, but Mingi really wasn't in the mood. At the time, he heavily blamed Yunho for the breakup. For a full three days, Mingi built a habit of going to your apartment, ringing the (wrong) bell, and waiting for a response. Eventually, he decided to stop ringing the bell after a heated altercation with your downstairs neighbor, who threatened legal repercussions if Mingi kept returning, but he knew he couldn't give up. He decided to change his approach and went to his family home because his mom kept calling him. Although he had planned to avoid his best friend for a long time, he couldn't do that because as soon as he got home, Yunho was already there. He said something along the lines of, “You can't avoid me forever,” which, unfortunately, was true. Instead of pushing his closest friend away again, he confided in him, talked about how much he regretted everything. Every plan Mingi came up with was immediately shot down by Yunho, calling him insane. Despite other friends telling him not to be a stalker, Mingi still staked out your building in secret. For a whole week, you never showed up. He regrets not asking for your address earlier. He didn't even know any of your friends' names; you wouldn't tell him. He was starting to lose hope until Yunho suddenly admitted he'd seen you at a cafe. Mingi had to fight every atom in his body to not punch him in the face. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!” He screamed in Yunho's face, holding his collar very calmly. Yunho just said, “You weren’t talking to me! And your brother said you hadn’t come home, so I just asked her where you were.”
“You should’ve told her to unblock me!” Yunho had to stifle his laughter at the fact that Mingi got blocked.
“Did she say anything about me?”
“She said she wants to move on–”
“Of course, she said that to you.”
“I don’t like her. I mean, she’s cute–but that’s it.” They had a little bit more of a back-and-forth that night, but all Mingi got from that conversation was that he should keep trying because he doesn't want you to move on. As the days passed, he grew increasingly hopeless. On one particular day when he and Yunho decided to hang out, both of them were graced by a text from you. Upon receiving the text, Yunho, like the great friend he is, immediately handed him the phone. Both of them huddled around the phone, trying to create a plan for him to “inconspicuously” meet up with you. Thankfully, the plan worked. Truly, he has never worked this hard for a woman, and he's not even upset about that. He would do a lot for you, a lot more than you know. Now he just has to keep up his good streak so he can make you his for real.
Synopsis : He's known you since you were 12. Growing up together you learned each other before you learned how the world worked. You didn't realize how much he loved you, is it too late or will he see your sweet return?
Warnings : cursing , physical fighting (NOT against reader ), crying, yelling, happy ending maybe, mention of alcohol, time skips, yunho is a big yearner
Lucky’s thoughts : First one shot! The story goes along with the lyrics so it’s best you listen to the song too. I can’t believe this is finally getting posted I’ve been working on this since February, hope you enjoy ˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀
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Maybe I’m too young to keep good love from going wrong
“But what if she doesn’t want me, we’re only in junior high, don’t you think we’re too young to date?” Yunho voices his concerns with worry clouding his eyes, an expression that looks out of place on a 14 year old boy.
You and Yunho met when you were 12. You were sitting idly in your art class when he decided to approach you, and ever since you let him borrow your water colors the two of you had been inseparable. Of course upon building this bond you got to know his other close friend, Mingi had joined the group and from then on you three had become close.
Mingi pauses the game they’re playing and glances back at him
“ Maybe.. but if you like her so much isn’t she’s worth waiting for?”
And with that they resume the video games they were playing.
But tonight you’re on my mind
“Yun? Why’d you call me so late, are you alright?” Your voice rasps, it sounds loud compared to the quiet buzz of your room during the silent hours.
The only thing you can hear from his line is his breathing, a sound you’ve become normalized too, though it’s not as calm as it usually is.
“Yunho, we have a bio test tomorrow and I stayed up late studying. I want to go to bed.”
“H-hey y/n” he stammers. The use of your full name forces you to stop complaining.
“Sorry, I just couldn’t sleep and-“ he hiccups, “ And I don’t know, you were the first answer I could come up with.”
So.. you’ll never know.
Today you were helping Yunho unpack in his dorm. You two were lucky enough to get into the same college, but then again in what world were you two not together?
“Y/n do you see the box with the blue tape on it? It has all my kitchen appliances” His voice carries throughout the dorm.
“Like you’re gonna use it anyways.” You mutter to yourself, mostly.
You discarded the pile of clothes you were folding - Yunho can do many things, laundry however is not one of them - and rummaged around his bedroom for the box he was looking for.
“Yun, I don’t know how I’m supposed to find this box when it’s not even labeled! ALL these boxes have blue tape.” Huffing quietly you continue your search for his utensils.
Moving to his bedside, you find a slightly smaller box slightly hidden by his nightstand. You move to open it, and down the hall you can hear Yunho approaching.
“I don’t understand how hard it is to find y/nie, maybe you’re not looking hard enou-“
As soon as he steps into the room he sees you opening the box, his box, the only one with a written label, though you must’ve missed it.
“DON’T TOUCH THAT!” His raised voice breaks the serene atmosphere of the day, replacing it with unwelcome tension instead.
He crosses the room quickly and removes the box from your hands. You could see some of the contents of what was inside, but it just looked like a bunch of papers. His legal documents maybe? You didn’t really have the capacity to think about it right now, your only concern was why Yunho was so hell bent on getting it away from you.
“Gosh Yun, are you hiding secret business plans in there?” You chuckle a bit, trying to relieve the tense air hanging in the room.
He clocks it immediately, feeling bad that he had caused the shift in the first place.
“Ah no, just some…. Letters I need to send out.” There’s a subtle flush creeping up on the tips of his ears, he’s praying you can’t see it.
And you don’t, but you still tease him about the box regardless.
“Oh? Are they love letters Yun?” You grin like the thought of him seeing someone is impossible.
“Eh, something like that. Ya know, when we graduate we should just rent a place together. It would save us some money and spare us from having to find awkward roommates.” He quickly , and effectively, changes the subject.
“And deal with your loud ass gaming every night? Hard pass.”
Where are you tonight, don’t you know how bad I need it?
The apartment was quiet.
Your shared apartment was never quiet.
Living with Yunho post grad had been nothing short of amazing. The days were filled with laughter, playful banter almost always could be heard from your shared space.
But tonight, the familiar warmth was nowhere to be found. You knew you were being over dramatic, but you missed him. All week Yunho has been staying late at work, after he would go out with his friends leaving you without seeing him. But you’ve had a long week ; work has been piling up , your family has been giving you unwanted calls, and you haven’t felt the embrace of Yun in so long.
It’s late, and you’re exhausted. You had to work a double since your coworker called out, and you want nothing more than to lay with Yunho while watching your favorite movie. But of course, he’s nowhere to be found.
With the realization that he wasn’t home, you sluggishly make your way to your room. Upon closing the door your body decides it’s had enough, sliding down to your knees you can feel the tears you’ve been trying to restrain push forward.
Since when did you rely on him this much? You knew he was a comfort, but when did you start reaching for him every time things got dark? It’s like your body didn’t know how to solve itself without him by your side, like your souls were so intertwined that you couldn’t rest without each other.
He picks up on the first ring.
“Yun, can…can you come home?” Your voice shakes when you ask, which isn’t something he’s used to.
His lack of response scares you, but you don’t know it’s because he’s already packing his things and getting to his car.
“I’m sorry, I know you’re out you don’t have to.” You breathe out. It’s the last thing you want, but you know he’s out with friends and don’t want to disturb him.
“I’ll be home in 10 Y/n. , I know how bad you need it.”
And with that your breathing calms a little.
Sometimes a man gets carried away
You didn’t notice. You were too wrapped in conversation, paying too much attention to the person you’re speaking with to be aware of the man ogling you from across the bar.
But Yunho did.
It disgusted him. How could someone be so obvious, so blatantly stupid to look at what he had loved with such disrespect. Every toss of your hair, every laugh, every glance had caught the attention of this vile man. Every second of it was pissing Yunho off.
But he couldn’t say anything about it. It was your birthday. For fucks sake it was his idea to bring you and your friend group out to the bar, who was he to ruin your night?
“Bro you’re staring. Hard.” Wooyoung shoves Yunho’s shoulder affectionately, trying to distract him from you and the man at the bar. Mingi giggles at the two while taking a sip of his drink.
Yunho doesn’t have it in him to laugh , however. He provides a controlled smile, something to get him by without looking too upset. He’s about to respond to Wooyoung, when he notices the man’s hand reach for your arm. He watches you politely decline the man and turn away, but the creature doesn’t seem to take the hint.
He reaches you in three strides.
You feel him before you see him.
“She said no.” There’s anger in his voice, but you seem to be the only one to notice his tone.
“Hey man didn’t know she was taken.” The man slurs his words with his reply.
“You do now. Leave.” You’ve never heard Yunho talk like this. Where’s your soft spoken best friend?
“You don’t have to be so rude man, do you see what she’s wearing? She’s asking for -“
And before the slob can finish his words Yunho’s fist collides with his face. The bar freezes. The music is still going, but people have stopped dancing. Wooyoung and Mingi have already started walking towards the altercation in case they need to step in, but there’s no need. Before he can get another hit in-
“Yun?” Your voice trembles. This was severely uncomfortable for you. Never had you seen him get violent, that mixed with the unwanted touch of that man has you feeling overwhelmed and scared. Yunho notices, because of course he does. Once he sees that the man is down he turns to you and his eyes soften immediately.
“I’m sorry Y/nie, but I couldn’t just let him speak to you like that.” He reaches for your hand softly, a stark contrast from what had just happened. And of course you took it, holding his hand was a habit you knew all too well.
With a final glare at the man on the floor, Yunho gently guides you away from the scene. You two step outside hand in hand, and when he notices the weather out his jacket is instantly on you.
“You know you’re safe with me right?” He didn’t regret what he did. He would go to the ends of the Earth if it meant keeping you protected, but the last thing he wanted to do was scare you.
“ I know Yun. Thank you.”
“Forever and always Y/nie.”
Much too blind to see the damage he’s done
You’ve been cancelling on him.
Every time he wants to get dinner, you brush him off. Each time he asks you to accompany him to meet with the guys you decline. It’s not like you two had an argument, so why were you being so distant?
Yunho noticed it quickly. He was the one reaching out late at night just to never get a response. It was driving him insane. Never in your years of knowing him have your responses been this dry and this spaced out.
It’s been almost three weeks of this. You’re barely at the apartment, he only catches you in fleeting moments. Yunho, deciding he’s had enough, texts you again.
Hey Y/n, can we talk please? I’m by the cafe if you want to meet up there.
For the first time in almost a month your answer comes quickly.
I’m already here. Have something to tell you.
Now he’s really concerned.
Will I ever see your sweet return?
Yunho is fully convinced that he imagined the conversation he just had with you.
You have a boyfriend? And you’re moving out next month? He feels like he’s underwater with the way your words aren’t reaching him.
He doesn’t really remember much. Doesn’t remember the way you lit up while talking about your new partner. Doesn’t remember the way you giggle while explaining how you met. He doesn’t seem to remember the hope in your eyes when you explain you feel like you’ve met the one.
What he does remember though, and what is replaying in an agonizing loop in his head, is the dim in your eyes when he got up to leave.
It had been too much. After spending weeks of not having enough of you the sudden drop of information had him reeling. He couldn’t get out of there quick enough when he heard your voice, so hopeful and so horribly in love talk about another man while he was sitting in front of you. With a quick drop of cash on the table you shared he’d left. He didn’t realize he was leaving behind the past 14 years of his life.
The walk home - god is it even home anymore?- is painful. With a heavy sigh and anxious tug of his hair, he retrieves the phone out of his pocket that’s been buzzing since he left the cafe. He knows it’s Mingi, he’s been venting to him about your distance since it started. But something in him is hopeful that it’s you. That you’ll be on the other end of the line explaining how it was a joke gone too far, that you didn’t mean it, and that he still has a chance. However there’s a dominant, wistful side of him that knows you’re already gone.
He accepts the call only after he assures it isn’t you.
Sweet lover, you should’ve come over
When you were in high school you made a promise to him.
It came to light after your first argument together. You were in a rough place with your family, and you found it hard to rely on others.
Yunho, being the kind hearted man he was, attempted to voice his concerns to you. And you, as stubborn as you were, wouldn’t accept his help. You isolated yourself for weeks, trying to avoid hurting him further with the sour mood you were in.
But he wouldn’t let up. No matter how many times you pushed him away, how many times you screamed at him just to cry in his arms after, he never gave up on you.
You were laid with him, too exhausted from fighting with your family to communicated how you feel. And he understood. He would be your anchor when you felt like floating. While wrapped in his embrace, he made you promise to him that night.
“Please come to me when it becomes too much. Even if you can’t talk, I’ll always help you find your way back home, back to me.”
You’d agreed before you fully understood the weight of what he meant.
But now, eight years since you graduated high school, you wonder if he still extends this promise. You never really understood why he was so upset with you when you said you were moving out. He’d seem so dejected when you told him about your boyfriend, but Yunho never liked you like that anyways so what was the point? Everything feels like too much and not enough at the same time. Life for you is stimulate in a way that could never be enjoyable. Your relationship with your boyfriend had ended a while ago, and you’ve lost your way since. Before, when life got too complicated you had a beacon. Something to guide you home. Now it feels like you’re drowning. It’s been like this since you’ve moved out the apartment. Days are blurring and your feelings are numbing and nothing is making sense.
And even though it’s been two years since you’ve seen him, you know him well enough to know Yunho isn’t a liar. He would never break a promise. You need to find your way home, and that begins with him.
Cause it’s not too late.
“Yun?”
He could’ve sworn he was hallucinating. You weren’t here. That wasn’t your voice. He was imagining it.
“Yunho..?”
He turns fully. You were standing there, long coat and scarf hiding most of your frame but that didn’t matter. Not when he memorized what it felt like to be near you at the age of 14. Not when he’s loved you for so long he can’t remember what it was like before. And especially not when he’s been clawing at the memory of you every day since you left.
Looking at you felt like being exposed to light for the first time. Like the stars had all formed into one and placed their gleam onto a being in the shape of you. He’d been so deprived, living in a word without you had him starved, desperate.
And he’ll be damned if he lets his sweet lover get away again.
“Y/n…You’re here? This is real?” He takes a step forward carefully, if he moved too fast he was sure you’d disappear.
He can’t help but let the words babble out. He needs you to understand, needs you to know that every day without you had felt like parading in a wake of sad relations. That without you, he wouldn’t even dream of being complete. “I thought you were gone, I thought I had chased you out of Seoul, I thought it was over.”
“It’s never over, Yun.”
He crashes into her. It’s a frantic moment, he reaches for her with so much intent, so much love his body doesn’t know how to process it. Their shared embrace communicating everything they couldn’t, the emotions they couldn’t express all this time. The world pauses around them like it knows the two can’t be separated any longer.
After a moment, he placed a tender kiss on her shoulder, uncaring of the thick fabric covering her.
“I didn’t think you’d want this again Yunho, I thought you would’ve moved on by now.” She whispers to him.
What a ridiculous thought. How would he ever be able to move on from the person who taught him everything he has ever known about life. The person that showed him that love isn’t what lies in what is permanent , rather it is found in the moments you forgot to cherish. The moments that leave you with a feeling well beyond nostalgia, the moments that left him wanting more. The person he’d give all his riches for, his kingdom, his dreams, his anything.
